posted March 01, 2014 03:23 PM            

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posted March 01, 2014 03:35 PM            

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Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.

posted March 01, 2014 07:03 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
This is not related to any other thread or any person, just a sense of how hard it is to stay sweet and childlike when it is so easy to get hardened.

You have to be hardened to some degree or you get walked on but getting bitter is the other end of the spectrum.

Can anyone relate?

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I can relate to a degree, but I would probably say that my goal isn't to remain sweet and childlike, and that I also don't see becoming a bitter person as the only alternative.

It's probably just my picky wording (my Moon, as usual, ha), but I would say that for me it's been about becoming less idealistic and naive, and more aware and mature.

Meaning that I've had to learn how to go with my intuition, and also when I see red flags with people, I avoid them, plain and simple.

That is, if I can. If I can't, then sometimes I have to be as diplomatic as I can be, or as polite as possible, and still set my boundaries.

It's still not always an easy balance for me. It often feels as though I'm still in fight or flight mode when I have to
work out a major conflict with someone I don't know well. At least in real life, anyway.

I've had some practice forced on me recently, and it was troubling to have to tell someone that I found their behavior unacceptable, but we were able to work it out with good feelings.

I can be a bit sharp, but I wouldn't consider that a form of bitterness.

I do know that throughout my childhood I was absolutely not allowed to express anger. The consequences were too damaging for me to attempt it, so as I got older I first internalized it, and then found the freedom to express it outwardly.

I was actually quite proud of my anger at one point, and hung around a group of people who were very much the same way.
We were openly (or passive-aggressively) rude, hostile, and condescending to people who annoyed us.
For me, I suppose it was just a way of coming into my anger that I had suppressed and internalized for so many years. That actually happened in my twenties.

Eventually, I felt that it was getting old.
I started actively pursuing a more spiritual path (no, not always easy, and none of us will be perfect at it), and anger became less appealing to me.

I suppose I associate anger with bitterness, although they are a bit different.

I used to just fight and argue with people all the time, and really push my opinions on them. Now I see that it's just a pointless drain of my energy (although I will still occasionally argue with people if I'm really annoyed).

I don't feel that I am childlike or hardened, but rather just growing into who I am as a person. I don't think that we need to harden ourselves. I think we just need to learn to be comfortable in our own skin, or work out our hurt in a safe place, and allow it to pass.

But that's my odd experience and random memories, food for thought I guess.

posted March 01, 2014 07:18 PM            

I think it is about having compartments, maybe. One has to be wise and to discern reality. People mess with you and try to hurt you. You can't be naive about it.

Another compartment has to know HOW to fight because you need to, at times.

Another has to know how to walk away.

I think the best thing you can do is turn an enemy into a friend and I am starting to be able to do this but some enemies should never be friends and that takes a great deal of discernment.

I had 2 instances of people attacking me, one on my website and one in one of my small Astrology groups.

The website one was a guy saying I was all wet on Eris lol

He came on really nasty though. Later, he told me he came on just to bother me.

I could see through him, in some way, to see he was really sweet and I was kind to him.

Now, we are close and it is sweet.

Another was a girl who did not like Christians. I was just kind to her. I could see she was hurting. I could see through to the core.

Now, we are friends. She has one of the hardest charts I have ever, ever seen.Algol conj the Asc and on and on and on.

She had a really hard life and a little kindness made her really appreciate me and I appreciate her.

I used to be naive to people who hurt me and tried to act nice but as a form of getting me to trust them to hurt me again.

I have learned from some wise people here not to do that. That was one of my biggest lessons, really.

Sometimes, there is no hope for a relationship and one must be able to discern that.

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posted March 01, 2014 07:21 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
It really is a tough balance. I have become harder than I would like to be and you could describe me as bitter and cynical. What really bothers me is how people judge others who are this way when they really don't know what that person has been through. For example, a lot of aspies develop a bitterness because they are rejected by society . Its also easy to fall into a mindset of trust no one. This is a defense mechanism to protect an aspie from vulnerability in social situations. Aspies cannot naturally read people, so we are easier targets for deception and manipulation. A lot of people judge people who arent all "sunshine and rainbows" because they do not understand the challenges such people may face. Imo you can always tell that someone has been there if they have compassion and understanding.

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Aspies have a super tough road! What is happening with your cute girlfriend

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posted March 01, 2014 07:25 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Sometimes, there is no hope for a relationship and one must be able to discern that.

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Exactly! Well... I think a relationship is always possible... But is it really worth it?

Sometimes, being able to put down your foot and say thank you but no thank you is a very important thing.

I'm having to do that very thing with a pisces that's being extremely disrespectful to me right now. Not sure how I'm going to put into plain language: "please stop talking to me, you're not worth my time", but right now I'm choosing to simply ignore any invitation at friendship he is sending my way. Can't deal with the hot and cold ******** . Or rather... I can. But I don't want to.

posted March 01, 2014 07:31 PM            

My son is leaving his job. He was being gaslighted to try to get him to stay by the supervisor and I had to help him deal with it.

He did great. He can find another job very easily. He was already offered one.

However, my take away lesson was about character. My son has amazing character. He has an Unaspected Saturn in the 11th.

This Saturn is a super high character person.

He was so respected by his co-workers and boss.

You have to put your character first and things will work out.

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posted March 01, 2014 07:37 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Aspies have a super tough road! What is happening with your cute girlfriend

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posted March 01, 2014 07:41 PM            

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posted March 01, 2014 07:42 PM            

j.k

I keep myself from getting too cynical and from becoming bitter by not dwelling on stuff too much. At the end of the day there are only two options available for me: deal with it n move on, or dwell in it n sink. Dreams shattered - I make new ones. Things collapsed - I build others.

In a way I'm not "hard" but somewhat a bit resilient, things hit me and bounce away. They leave a few marks, but those fade although some take longer to fade than others.

I've become more vicious through out the year though lol when someone actively tries to hinder or cause problems I sometimes deal with them in a hard way. Nothing personal, simply just to remove obstacles n get on with my life.

posted March 01, 2014 07:53 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Aww, for good, AG?

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posted March 01, 2014 08:07 PM            

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posted March 01, 2014 08:23 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Thanks Violets

I think it is about having compartments, maybe. One has to be wise and to discern reality. People mess with you and try to hurt you. You can't be naive about it.

Another compartment has to know HOW to fight because you need to, at times.

Another has to know how to walk away.

I think the best thing you can do is turn an enemy into a friend and I am starting to be able to do this but some enemies should never be friends and that takes a great deal of discernment.

I had 2 instances of people attacking me, one on my website and one in one of my small Astrology groups.

The website one was a guy saying I was all wet on Eris lol

He came on really nasty though. Later, he told me he came on just to bother me.

I could see through him, in some way, to see he was really sweet and I was kind to him.

Now, we are close and it is sweet.

Another was a girl who did not like Christians. I was just kind to her. I could see she was hurting. I could see through to the core.

Now, we are friends. She has one of the hardest charts I have ever, ever seen.Algol conj the Asc and on and on and on.

She had a really hard life and a little kindness made her really appreciate me and I appreciate her.

I used to be naive to people who hurt me and tried to act nice but as a form of getting me to trust them to hurt me again.

I have learned from some wise people here not to do that. That was one of my biggest lessons, really.

Sometimes, there is no hope for a relationship and one must be able to discern that.

---

I totally agree with you. I'm not one to hang onto people for a split second if I find them too much trouble. I suppose that might be considered hardened, but I just don't have the time or energy for it. That's Saturn in 11th for ya.

But I also agree that it's important to know when to stand your ground and when to walk away (I mean that for people in general, just using the word "you" out of convenience).

I had to do this recently, as it had built up for a good long while with myself and another person (who is not going anywhere, so I couldn't just disengage from her or refuse to be around her).
I felt that she was passive-aggressive, double sided, two-faced, gossipy, snarky, you name it. And I know that I can possess SOME of those qualities myself, and I dislike them profoundly.

But at some point I simply had to say "Look. This is how I perceive the way that you're conducting yourself around me, and I'm not okay with it. I don't allow people in my life who treat me with disrespect, so let's try to work this out. If I'm mistaken about how I'm interpreting things, then let's talk about it. Until then, I think it would be best if you don't make any plans to visit."

That was not easy for me to say (I had to say it via email, because I was so p*ssed off at the person by the time I said anything that I was afraid I was going to really rip into her, and then nothing would be worked out).

I am sure that I could have worded it more politely, but I didn't word it half as cuttingly as I was inclined.

Practice makes perfect, I guess. I'm great at disengaging from people who are too much trouble (I just disappear, like a typical Pisces), but have a harder time setting boundaries with people and not being so coldly blunt that it's offensive.

posted March 01, 2014 08:39 PM            

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posted March 02, 2014 06:56 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Sure Ami. But it will have to wait until monday or tuesday, I will be busy the next few days. Im working a 16 hour shift tonight.

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I will look forward to it, AG!

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posted March 03, 2014 09:41 PM            

Just when I think, "Where is Cata?", you show up

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