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Author
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Topic: Do people genuinely change for love?
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Dancing Maenad
Knowflake Posts: 31
From: The Harvest
Registered: Mar 2014
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posted March 08, 2014 05:43 PM
  
I am tempted to think, based on my experience, that they only pretend to change so that they get what they want. I do not believe a person can change for someone else, and perhaps they should not. To give an example, say one partner is very pessimistic, do you think they could/want to/should become happier/more positive because they're in love? IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 53200
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted March 08, 2014 06:48 PM
Welcome DM  ------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 6799
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted March 08, 2014 07:48 PM
No. Don't attempt to fundamentally change people. It doesn't work. Never ever think a man will change after becoming a husband. That's a huge mistake. It never happens. You marry a man for who he is, complete with all his shortcomings. IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 3667
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted March 08, 2014 08:38 PM
quote:
No. Don't attempt to fundamentally change people. It doesn't work.
I completely agree. IP: Logged |
12muddy
Knowflake Posts: 1475
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted March 08, 2014 09:31 PM
I think it depends on the person. A person is capable of changing, but it depends largely on how much change is required, why it is required and whether he/she is committed enough. I think it's very hard to drastically change their core values. If the behavior/habit is destructive in the 1st place, sometimes it's possible to change for the better. My father was a terrible gambler. Said that it pained him to see my mother's hurt n disappointment so he stopped. About your example, I think it's more complicated. IP: Logged |
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 3251
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted March 08, 2014 09:58 PM
Dual edge there, are the flaws what led to the relationship in the first place?And if a partner is that wimpy to not stand up for themselves, is that who ones wants to be with? PPL change over time, there is no way around it IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Moderator Posts: 3887
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted March 08, 2014 10:07 PM
Some changes are possible (but shouldn't be assumed that it's going to), but something as fundamental as changing from a pessimist to an optimist isn't going to happen. If anything their worries will become worse as they have more to lose, and the best you can hope for is a serene acceptance that life is beyond their control which you may or may not care for.And free tip: when someone says they don't believe in marriage, kids, pets, etc, BELIEVE it, and either agree to it or move on. I have no idea why so many people believe they can change who someone is with the "power of their love" and then get mad when it doesn't happen. And if s/he can't change for their partner, then why do they expect their partner to change? IP: Logged |
Sibyl
Knowflake Posts: 355
From: Uranus
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted March 08, 2014 10:13 PM
Oprah will have something to say about this.  Don't love a person for who you think they COULD be. Love them for who they ARE. If you cannot love them for who they are in the present, I would say the relationship is not worth keeping. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTiziwBhd54 "When People Show You Who They Are, Believe Them"
- Oprah and Maya Angelou. IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Moderator Posts: 3887
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted March 08, 2014 10:15 PM
^^Take out the "s" after "http" so that it works on LL like so:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTiziwBhd54 IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 9317
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted March 08, 2014 10:25 PM
lol nope.
but what's worse is people who change when they are too comfortable in relationships..IP: Logged |
Sibyl
Knowflake Posts: 355
From: Uranus
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted March 08, 2014 10:33 PM
quote:
Originally posted by PixieJane:
^^Take out the "s" after "http" so that it works on LL like so:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTiziwBhd54
Thanks for the tip! IP: Logged |
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 3251
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted March 08, 2014 10:56 PM
quote:
Originally posted by PixieJane:
Some changes are possible (but shouldn't be assumed that it's going to), but something as fundamental as changing from a pessimist to an optimist isn't going to happen. If anything their worries will become worse as they have more to lose, and the best you can hope for is a serene acceptance that life is beyond their control which you may or may not care for.And free tip: when someone says they don't believe in marriage, kids, pets, etc, BELIEVE it, and either agree to it or move on. I have no idea why so many people believe they can change who someone is with the "power of their love" and then get mad when it doesn't happen. And if s/he can't change for their partner, then why do they expect their partner to change?
Depends PJ, cynicism does have a half life, otherwise it's merely bitterness and haggard wrapped up in a smiling package As artificial as the Matrix itself so to say I'm not a "power of love" sort, however to deny that love can be found even amongst the most jaded, but looking, is to reduce women and men to simpering apes..ie "you and me baby ain't nothing but mammals" IP: Logged |
CatMote
Knowflake Posts: 647
From: Fighting Neptune for his trident
Registered: Apr 2013
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posted March 08, 2014 11:49 PM
i dont think you anyone can force anyoen to change. if change is to happen it has to happen from within. i think if theres any force in the world that can change someone, its love. ------------------
Sun Aries Moon Pisces
Mars Pisces Venus Pisces
Mercury Aries Jupiter in Virgo
Saturn in Aquarius Pluto in Scorpio
Neptune and Uranus in Capricorn
Ascendant Libra IP: Logged |
Dancing Maenad
Knowflake Posts: 31
From: The Harvest
Registered: Mar 2014
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posted March 09, 2014 12:55 AM
Thanks for the wise replies, guys! Much appreciated. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 53200
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted March 09, 2014 08:36 AM
Teasel  ------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
Ceridwen
Knowflake Posts: 11120
From:
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted March 09, 2014 09:01 AM
No, they donīt change. UNLESS it is already in them, and then it would not be so much of a change, but digging up a trait that has been dormant for what reason ever. And yes, love people for who they ARE not for who they COULD be. Doing the latter is a sure way to heartbreak.
IP: Logged |
I'm so cappy
Knowflake Posts: 4862
From: Saturn (summer house on Chiron)
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted March 09, 2014 05:49 PM
Perhaps love changes people but I think it's silly and in some cases selfish to EXPECT it from them.------------------
I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy. IP: Logged |
DeepFreeze
Knowflake Posts: 1115
From: Pluto with Barbiegirl19
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted March 10, 2014 03:01 AM
If they want to, they can. If forced, they have a choice... Change or move on. It can be done. A married couple at work has been through it.
He was a very heavy marijuana smoker. She threatened to leave and was quite serious. He quit and hasn't touched it in about 8 years now. IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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