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Author Topic:   Are you more nervous in one on one social situations or in large groups of people?
aquaguy91
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posted March 14, 2014 06:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I was having a talk with one of my friends about this and was suprised to learn that he gets more nervous when he is alone with an attractive woman then he would if he was hanging out with tons of women and other guys. This is the exact opposite of me... I feel more comfortable and relaxed in 1 on 1 situations. What about you? Are you more comfortable in crowds or 1 on 1 interactions?

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DeepFreeze
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posted March 14, 2014 07:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DeepFreeze     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think I'm about equal for the most part but I could see a one on one being a little more. Depending.
Only because the pressure is on to be entertaining.

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YoursTrulyAlways
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posted March 14, 2014 07:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for YoursTrulyAlways     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Either and neither. I'm not terribly uncomfortable either way. I prefer being alone by my autistic self.

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12muddy
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posted March 14, 2014 07:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for 12muddy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Most of the time the number of people doesn't matter. It depends on the situations. For example: I'm more nervous when I go to an interview (with only 3, 4 interviewers).

If it's just "hanging" out with people then nah the number doesn't matter.

It was different when I was around people whom I had a crush on. Definitely was nervous in 1 on 1 situations. With no distraction, their attention would be on me - thinking about it alone made me wanna hide lol. A mix of butterflies in the stomach, hazy thoughts n too much enthusiasm...

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Ami Anne
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posted March 14, 2014 09:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Either and neither. I'm not terribly uncomfortable either way. I prefer being alone by my autistic self.



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hannaramaa
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posted March 14, 2014 09:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hannaramaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I was having a talk with one of my friends about this and was suprised to learn that he gets more nervous when he is alone with an attractive woman then he would if he was hanging out with tons of women and other guys. This is the exact opposite of me... I feel more comfortable and relaxed in 1 on 1 situations. What about you? Are you more comfortable in crowds or 1 on 1 interactions?

Most guys get nervous in a 1-1 with an attractive woman, I'm initially nervous with either but I think I changed from liking 1-1 situations to liking groups. Everyone has more of a buffer or things to go off of and there's less pressure to entertain and be dazzling.

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Odette
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posted March 14, 2014 09:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Odette     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm not nervous in either of these situations.

I am only nervous/anxious when I have to sit still in perfect silence in a room full of people - eg. classroom, lecture theatre.. and listen to someone else talk.
It just drives me insane after a while.
I think I have ADD lol

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Sibyl
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posted March 14, 2014 09:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Sibyl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It depends on the person I'm spending time with, but I'm generally more nervous in one-on-one interactions (as in I'm never nervous in groups, but occasionally with one other person).

This is for the simple reason that I don't like sharing anything of importance. Most people take what you are willing to give them (especially as I am very giving in all other respects), but some people do not accept/understand/pick up on this and are too direct/demanding/impatient for my liking. These people generally think I dislike them because I continuously give them the cold shoulder. It's just a defense mechanism in my case. I have had overbearing, manipulative and demanding parents that always expected me to conform. Not sharing became my way of protecting my own individuality. The tactic is deflecting. Being good at deflecting is usually a very successful social tactic as well. It's essential to social success, really, to know how to manipulate a conversation. But at this point I don't trust just anyone to see all of me, and so one-on-one interactions can, at times, be challenging if the other person is not big on picking up on or respecting my reservations. After all, deflecting is much harder if there is just one person.

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Scorpiocat
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posted March 14, 2014 10:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Scorpiocat     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm never nervous, but being comfortable depends on who we're interacting with, strangers? friends? lovers? which I think makes all the difference.

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aquaguy91
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posted March 14, 2014 10:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
Most guys get nervous in a 1-1 with an attractive woman, I'm initially nervous with either but I think I changed from liking 1-1 situations to liking groups. Everyone has more of a buffer or things to go off of and there's less pressure to entertain and be dazzling.

Im the exact opposite of most guys in that regard, if I'm out with an attractive woman I'm extremely confident. Getting a woman to agree to go out is the tricky part.

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YoursTrulyAlways
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posted March 14, 2014 10:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for YoursTrulyAlways     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I hate small talk , especially when it's insincere.

Hi, my name is Slim Shady. May I have your attention please? Oh, you must know Dr. Dre. He's now locked up in my basement and dead.

The weather is cold and crappy today. Perhaps it'll be wet and pissy tomorrow.

I would like to eat your liver with fava beans with a glass of Chianti. What would you like to do?

Screw that. I much rather stick to myself.

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SaturnineMoth
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posted March 14, 2014 11:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SaturnineMoth     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm kinda with YTA here~

I care for neither predicament, and would probably rather keep to myself. Not that I'm antisocial, just reclusive and socially lazy (a lot more nowadays). I don't want to feel obligated to entertain one person or a crowd, I don't /need/ to impress anyone... In fact (or true Capricornian fashion), if there is nothing in it for me, I see no point in attending social events of any sort these days.

But, for the sake of your discussion, I've always started off in either situation as (equally) uncomfortable. Initially, all social interaction puts me on my back foot, I have to get a feel for the other person or the environment before I open up at all... and, it really depends on how I read the mood of the other/crowd how far I'm willing to crawl outta my shell. I can be equally gregarious in either situation, if the mood is right. But, there's a time and a place for everything, or so they say...

But in those interactions, I'm the type to mingle, or at least mingle until I find something or someone worth my full attention... if that ever even happens. (seldom does, but I digress...)

I get distracted and distractions are draining and annoying when you are trying to actually converse with one person or more. (well, at least for me.)

I'm just getting old, methinks! lol

and, if we're talking about 1 on 1 with regards to dating only... whether I'm approached by a 4 or 10 has never made a difference... 10's are just as likely to have a head full of rocks as 4's and vs/vs... my patience, it's never been a strong point in dealing with others. I just feel that you have about 3 seconds to peak my interest, doesn't matter how - but you gotta have something to say or I'll be tuning a fellar out fast a cat can blink its eye if I'm not getting some kinda' intelligent vibe offa him (or her, in my case). Cheeky, silly (clumsy and bumbling), and confidant - those people can have my attention...

Then, again there are times when I initiate conversation as well (*so it isn't one of those annoying male/female dynamic issues to be going on and on about here - just getting that out there now before it is turned into such)... and I honestly endeavor not to waste that persons time or my own. The expectation is mutual, and again - I find it all draining - always have, just moreso now that I'm 30 than say 19... lol At 19 I had time to waste though... 30 not so much. ^_-

I do still get flustered on 1 on 1 situations from time to time, usually it has to do with insecurity (self doubt) and intimidation (seniority). Still again, that frustrates me and compels me to perform better... these are in professional settings though, not normally casual. I'm not easily intimidated, but I do get flustered when I'm in the presence of someone I deeply respect.

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earthypisces
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posted March 15, 2014 02:02 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for earthypisces     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Even if I know all the people around well, I still don't like large groups. I guess I'm just not very good with people and find it hard enough to deal with one person, let alone an entire group of them.

I might open up eventually one on one, but in a group? I usually just kind of sit there, awkwardly nodding, waiting for it all to end. (Nervous half smile and all...)

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Padre35
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posted March 15, 2014 09:55 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Padre35     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
Most guys get nervous in a 1-1 with an attractive woman, I'm initially nervous with either but I think I changed from liking 1-1 situations to liking groups. Everyone has more of a buffer or things to go off of and there's less pressure to entertain and be dazzling.

There is a lot of truth to that hannarama, social situations be they 1 on 1 or a group require a sort of full tank of ideas in order for it to be comfortable for me at least.

Water at the edge of existence in an ever expanding motion, last book read, the way the brain in a primitive manner can detect a drop in barometric pressure..all are fodder for creating comfort

I adore 1 on 1 situations as most of the time the BS drops and if you ask enough the other person..get's real..the BS falls away

When that tank of ideas runs out..uhm..things get a bit awkward

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Padre35
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posted March 15, 2014 09:57 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Padre35     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
I hate small talk , especially when it's insincere.

Hi, my name is Slim Shady. May I have your attention please? Oh, you must know Dr. Dre. He's now locked up in my basement and dead.

The weather is cold and crappy today. Perhaps it'll be wet and pissy tomorrow.

I would like to eat your liver with fava beans with a glass of Chianti. What would you like to do?

Screw that. I much rather stick to myself.


That is b/c you are kinda a prick YTA, a lovable prick, still...

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Violets
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posted March 15, 2014 11:28 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Violets     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It depends on the people. I do well in large groups, because if I'm not having a great conversation with one person (male or female), I can just find someone else to talk to.

I like crowds, like in a big city. I blend in well in those situations and can talk to people easily.

Now...if I have to be around a large group of people that I cannot identify with at all, then I feel weird.

I actually feel more nervous with a smaller group of people than I do one on one or in a crowd. That can feel a little claustrophobic to me.

But if I have to sit one on one with someone I have nothing in common with as far as lifestyle, personality, taste, etc., then that's also very awkward.

So yeah, it depends on the situation.

I prefer crowds and one on one, but again...depends on the people.

If they're too uptight, I would just prefer my own company.

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libraschoice77
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posted March 15, 2014 01:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for libraschoice77     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Very nervous around large groups of people, I prefer one on one interaction, I feel like I can be myself and relax more...its why I could never be an actress, I talk fast and nervous around too many people.

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StarlightSmileSupreme
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posted March 15, 2014 02:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for StarlightSmileSupreme     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
As far as impersonal groups I like those best like what you see at a club.
A group of people I am familiar with and they know me? I don't like that scene. I don't like it when it's me and a couple, either. Too many tension filled experiences with those.
One on one with someone who isn't antagonistic is my favorite of all.

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YoursTrulyAlways
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posted March 15, 2014 02:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for YoursTrulyAlways     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Padre35:
That is b/c you are kinda a prick YTA, a lovable prick, still...

And very much proud of it.

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Lexxigramer
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posted March 15, 2014 04:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lexxigramer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I was having a talk with one of my friends about this and was suprised to learn that he gets more nervous when he is alone with an attractive woman then he would if he was hanging out with tons of women and other guys. This is the exact opposite of me... I feel more comfortable and relaxed in 1 on 1 situations. What about you? Are you more comfortable in crowds or 1 on 1 interactions?
I prefer one to one.

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Desiring Shadows
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posted March 15, 2014 06:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Desiring Shadows     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It depends how comfortable I am with that one person. But usually when I'm in a group I can leave the situation or direct the attention off me, so I am more for group situations.

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Padre35
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posted March 15, 2014 06:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Padre35     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
And very much proud of it.

Sort of, one also has heart

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MillyX
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posted March 15, 2014 06:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MillyX     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I prefer 1 on 1 situations

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12muddy
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posted March 15, 2014 07:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for 12muddy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Violets:

If they're too uptight, I would just prefer my own company.

lol yes.

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dadoo
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posted March 15, 2014 08:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for dadoo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Large group or one on one, I'm nervous if someone I'm interested in is around.
Else, any situation's fine.
It can be fun or not so fun, but anyway I'll always find someone to talk to.
If I'm interested in someone present, even on the other side of the room, it'll look like a shoe analysis session.
I'm so obvious *sigh*

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