posted April 12, 2014 08:29 PM            

I got this Sabian the other day.

quote:

---

LIBRA 8
A BLAZING FIREPLACE IN A DESERTED HOME

Even in times of real loneliness, when you feel separated from your "center", there is a constant, unseen, sustaining energy always ready to welcome you home: whether it be the fire of your own spiritual center, the warmth and familiarity of family and kin, or a knowing that one is sustained by humanity at large.

---

I really feel that I am sustained by that Spiritual Centre, at all times. So even when the chips are down, I really have this happiness inside my heart that spills over and envelopes me in a warm cocoon.

It's not that my life has always been Roses, it's that my Inner Life IS Roses.

posted April 13, 2014 03:39 AM            

and she just looked at me and slapped me so hard across the face and called me ungrateful and continued glaring at me until I apologized for being an ungrateful spoilt weak and selfish for thinking like that

Yeah idk I love her scorpio moon energy that raised me to be really strong...

Ever since, when I feel bad for myself.. I imagine my mom bish slapping me lol

posted April 13, 2014 07:58 PM            

When I dwell on the goodness God has expressed towards me, my heart rises up like an artesian well, my eyes gush forth joy that waters my face and leaves the observer in wonder- Gary Amirault

Great joy, especially after a sudden change of circumstances, is apt to be silent, and dwells rather in the heart than on the tongue. -- Henry Fielding

I cannot believe that the inscrutable universe turns on an axis of suffering; surely the strange beauty of the world must somewhere rest on pure joy! --Louise Bogan

There is a kind of happiness and wonder that makes you serious. It is too good to waste on jokes. –C.S. Lewis

It is pleasing to God whenever thou rejoicest or laughest from the bottom of thy heart. --Martin Luther

Whence comes this idea that if what we are doing is fun, it can't be God's will? The God who made giraffes, a baby's fingernails, a puppy's tail, a crooknecked squash, the bobwhite's call, and a young girl's giggle, has a sense of humor. Make no mistake about that. --Catherine Marshall

I've grown to realize the joy that comes from little victories is preferable to the fun that comes from ease and the pursuit of pleasure. --Lawana Blackwell

True happiness is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose. --Helen Keller

These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full. This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. –Jesus Christ (John 15:11-12)

Genuine happiness consists in those spiritual qualities of love, compassion, patience, tolerance and forgiveness and so on. For it is these which provide both for our happiness and others’ happiness. –The Dalai Lama

You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.— Albert Camus

The happiest people don't worry too much about whether life is fair or not, they just get on with it. - Andrew Matthews

posted April 13, 2014 10:01 PM            

Beyond that I guess the key elements are balance (mental and physical activity, etc), gratitude for what I have, and not taking life too seriously.

A brilliant moment for me was when I had a terrible nightmare of being chased by a demon (it was very vivid and haunting) that ended with me being impaled on 5 swords from a ceiling. The demon needed my rage for whatever spell it was trying to work but as I gave up I felt such utter peace (which ticked off the demon, it ruined his spell). That moment of peace was when I gave up every "should" ("I should" "S/he should" "People should" "Life should"). As an experiment I canceled all the serious stuff I had to do that day and spent it on the beach and in the moment not worrying about anything else...and it was one of the best days of my life. Obviously it's not something I can make a habit out of if I want to survive in the world but I never forgot a lesson I learned that day and try not to take things TOO seriously.

'Course most such experiences are more sublime and ineffable, like when I was in some semi-wooded hills at sunset with a light mist among the trees and clouds of various colors in growing twilight as the sun set (at first the sun was up but behind clouds looking a beautiful red). I spread my arms taking deep breaths letting it wash over me and just exulted in being alive.

posted April 24, 2014 01:29 PM            

I worry about finances due to living on my own now after being dependant upon my exhusband for so many years, so that will toss me into depression...

I worry about my sister who is grieving uncontrollably over the murder of her son and with this grief, I share it so it's a constant thought in my brain and on my heart...although my faith carries me daily because I know Anthony is in Heaven and that I will see him again and I long for that day. Not longing to DIE but longing to hold him again.

My love life...now THAT is the kicker for my unhappiness...I am ok being alone in my life, but I do get LONELY and ache at times for a companion. For someone who will treat me with respect and maybe even fall in love with me for who I am, not what I look like or what I can do for THEM. And then I can return that gesture with an open heart and allow my soul to venture back into those waters..until then tho, my heart, my mind, my soul my whole being are locked up. And I do that because I feel there truly is no one out there for me anymore. That maybe I'm no longer worthy of achieving that in my life, that my life is supposed to be about something more than those feel good moments for just me. And the thought and admission of this, breaks me down completely. So, I push it to the back of my mind and try not to let it out. Because when it does come out, I can't get out of bed. I can't get dressed. I can't clean my house. I can't go OUT of my house. I become trapped inside my own home, inside my own spirit of despair. And it's the saddest thing I've ever known or felt in my entire life.

posted April 24, 2014 05:39 PM            

There are probably a LOT of reasons why.

I have an absolutely wonderful 15 year old son. He's so incredibly sweet.

I know what a miserable marriage is and what that felt like. Life seemed so hopeless and depressing with my ex husband. So now that I've married my best friend and have a fantastic relationship it's an amazing feeling. I can be myself and be loved for it. I have a TRUE partner.

I make sure to not take things for granted that I used to. I'm healthy, I have a roof over my head, I don't go hungry, I'm smart, I have a handful of very good friends, etc.

Now that I'm older, I care much less about what other people think of me. I guess that says a lot because when I was young I was the one with the black lipstick and shaved head because I didn't want to conform to begin with - but I suppose I still wanted to be 'cool'. Now, I just want to be and do and wear what I want. I still like to look good but on my terms and in ways that make ME feel good. That relieves a lot of pressure.