posted April 17, 2014 10:51 PM              

So I have question for you because I know your legitimately bisexual. so when your in a relationship with a woman do you find doing typical hetero romantic activities weird?
Not that I think it's wrong if two choose to do so but it feels weird for me..
I think the dynamics are different for same sex couples.
There isn't a man or woman in the relationship.
Although yes there are definitely those around..
Fine the truth is I personally i find it rather lame when I see same sex couples trying hard to emulate hetero couples.

Anyways I did not say it like that.. but all I said was that I would never be in a same sex marriage because I don't want to emulate straight couples... sorry about it.

She was acting like I was sending lgbt rights back decades but I'm not ashamed or against same sex unions just because people should be able to have that option.

But I still think it's lame, like you have to conform to be normal..
Who cares, straight people will never find us normal.
but again gay straight or bi people want security.

marriage=security.

posted April 17, 2014 11:07 PM            

Of course, when with a man, I like him in the Dominant position.

Being a very satisfied Libra, I feel I have the Best of Both Worlds.

But that's just me...

posted April 18, 2014 07:25 PM            

I was with a masculine lesbian (the type called A-Gs or studs) for years and she girled me up...but I wasn't submissive by any means and retained my athletic interests and hobbies (which she shared in). Heh, I recall when she got us both sparring gear one Christmas (and also a book that she said "was free anyway and you'll read anything") which made me grateful for my being able to have a sense of humor about it. I think her idea of foreplay was starting an argument. We did do some dancing but our styles and musical tastes were so different that we didn't do that much.

I do some "stereotypical romantic things" with my current partner (whose much more feminine though that doesn't make me "the guy"), primarily because of her Cancer moon and Scorpio Venus & Mars. That said it's not that much as she's so busy (and I have my own things to do) and there aren't "assigned gender roles" to us either (it's more complicated than that).

I get along with different people differently, and even in romance it's based on the individual rather than the gender.

posted April 19, 2014 08:53 AM            

Was good to know.

posted April 19, 2014 02:15 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
It occurs to me that I've had very little experience with "typical hetero romantic activities" (as in wining & dining, hand in hand walks on the beach, seeing a romantic movie together, etc). Most of it was in school which was actually more of a game of "let's pretend" (nothing serious, no heartbreak or ecstasy of love, etc, at least not for me). There was only one guy I did that with (we were both 19) and in that case we both adopted the opposite gender roles (I saw some astrological reasons that might explain why we did that though our shared Sag Uranus with Libra Pluto on the Scorpio cusp was probably the biggest reason, but not the only ones).

I was with a masculine lesbian (the type called A-Gs or studs) for years and she girled me up...but I wasn't submissive by any means and retained my athletic interests and hobbies (which she shared in). Heh, I recall when she got us both sparring gear one Christmas (and also a book that she said "was free anyway and you'll read anything") which made me grateful for my being able to have a sense of humor about it. I think her idea of foreplay was starting an argument. We did do some dancing but our styles and musical tastes were so different that we didn't do that much.

I do some "stereotypical romantic things" with my current partner (whose much more feminine though that doesn't make me "the guy"), primarily because of her Cancer moon and Scorpio Venus & Mars. That said it's not that much as she's so busy (and I have my own things to do) and there aren't "assigned gender roles" to us either (it's more complicated than that).

I get along with different people differently, and even in romance it's based on the individual rather than the gender.

As far as the marriage thing goes, that's not necessarily about being like "husband and wife" it's essentially a contract that make them family in the eyes of the law which brings with it many rights as well as responsibilities. They can both be as two men or two women, they don't have to choose a role (plenty do, plenty don't) and therefore isn't necessarily "being straight acting." That said, it shouldn't be a big deal if you're not interested in it so long as you don't oppose others who are interested in it from becoming equal in society rather than saying "screw your equality, you shouldn't be living up to society's standards anyway." That's because that inequality allows for oppression. And even if you were to reject the reasoning of the mainstream against equality and instead replace those reasons with your own they'd still see it as being imposed upon unjustly.

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What you described above seems a lot like this Cat Duet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5bJJviAX0c

posted April 19, 2014 05:14 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by I'm so cappy:
It doesn't even matter whether it's genetic or not. It shouldn't be ostracized, period.

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Nobody should be ostracized.

posted April 19, 2014 06:25 PM            

It's one reason I was annoyed when CNN reported "Buffy is gay" because she had a one night stand in the comics after an intense experience. In my book that doesn't even make someone bi, let alone gay (I was annoyed how Willow was "forced to choose" an orientation that was forever binding in the TV series as well, that's not how it works save in the minds of certain people). 'Course I was also gobsmacked that this was seen as worth reporting by CNN but then this is still a big deal this day and age (had CNN been around when Kirk kissed Uhura in Star Trek I'm sure they'd have reported on that, too, as it was a big deal when it happened with letters both supportive and outraged flowing in over it, probably bigger a deal and more challenging to societal views at the time than Buffy's one night stand).

There are also strange stories of people who suffer head trauma who spontaneously change sexual orientation (among many other possibilities). Some like to say that those people never changed orientation but rather they stopped pretending, but at least one of those people had a history of only women (and other aspects of his personality changed as well) so I don't consider that likely.

And there's a lot that's just weird about sexuality. For example, one guy could only get turned on by cacti (he had a way to "be with a cactus" that didn't hurt him). Why would anyone have such desires? That, and so many more (though I laughed when I read an interview of a guy into horses who made sure the author interviewing him set the record straight that he had sex with a mare, not a stallion, as "I may be into horses but I'm not gay!").

What's especially interesting to me about this is that not even hormone treatments change sexuality, that is if a MtF likes women before "crossing over" then he will continue to be attracted to women as a she despite the suppression of testosterone and the addition of estrogen, so I don't see why people keep mistaking orientation over hormones. Btw, plenty--though not all--of gay men who are feminine or lesbians who are masculine do so not out of inherent self-expression but feeling that this will get them the type of same sex partner they want, that if if they want a macho man then he'll be girly, and a lesbian wanting a femme may go butch to attract only those kinds. Again this isn't always the case (gender identity is a completely separate issue), but sometimes it is, and it's based on fallacious reasoning of society that confuses gender with orientation which sometimes messes them up (as they repel many they'd otherwise attract).

The most puzzling is in identical twins, especially when raised together so that they have the same environment as well as the same genes. It's not unknown for one identical twin to be gay and the other straight despite having the very same environment and genes (though IIRC it's statistically likely that if one is gay then both are).

And btw, it's not just that...I saw a documentary on conjoined twins, two heads on the same body...and the 2 heads have different personalities, crush on different types of guys (and the guy one head likes isn't necessarily liked by the other), and have incompatible life goals like one head wants to move far away while the other wants to stay home. Explain that geneticists, psychologists, and astrologers! (Though having reflected on it I realized that people argue with themselves internally and have conflicting desires, including myself though my Libra probably makes it more pronounced in me, so it shouldn't be THAT surprising that 2 heads argue when even 1 head argues with itself.)

posted April 19, 2014 07:04 PM            

The above said, I wanted to share this which I fully agree with (a little over 2 and a half minutes):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_hNwNScw1I

posted April 19, 2014 07:24 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
I read an interview of a guy into horses who made sure the author interviewing him set the record straight that he had sex with a mare, not a stallion, as "I may be into horses but I'm not gay!"

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ROTFL!

posted April 20, 2014 04:33 AM            

They KNOW how to have fun balanced somewhere in the middle!

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Love,

posted April 21, 2014 02:57 PM            

I just didn't know if things were like that with others.

I didn't want an everyday type relationship with one dominant partner.

I was totally bored with that sort of arrangement, and it wasn't what I was seeking to find.

I didn't want an arrangement with partners switching gender roles, I just wanted to be a woman who enjoyed being with a woman.

Not saying anything about those preferences, but they just weren't mine.

I wondered if I was different in that, by the high volume of response, I was pleased to note that I was not.

posted April 21, 2014 08:02 PM              

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
^ This is one of the reasons why I'm baffled that anyone argues that everyone who is gay was born gay. Maybe that's true for some people...I don't really understand the science of it...if they ever get to the point where they can take brain scans of infants and accurately predict their orientation, without telling the child and throwing them off, then I will put more weight in the theory.

But from what I've seen tastes change, hormones change, circumstances change.

One of my closest female friends from grade school married a woman. She never showed any romantic interest in women whatsoever as we were growing up. She was boy crazy. And we had a lot of lesbian and gay friends...there weren't any obvious social restrictions on her.

Then she met a lesbian woman, fell in love with her, and they got married. To this day she says she's not really gay, she only loves this one woman.

Are people going to argue that that's not possible? Like...everyone can define themselves however they want, as far as I'm concerned.

Rant over

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I think there are some gay men who identify with the feminine so much that they feel internally female and never see other women in a sexual manner. (No I'm not talking about transgenders because they are so internally female that they are uncomfortable their masculine bodies)

They may idolize females and look up to them. It's just how their mind is hardwired

I mean lets be honest, can you see a flaming queen ever wanting pussssy?

Good points Pixie mentioned

Personally like I do belief in the kingsly scale and people fall on certain levels because Ive had experiences with men who are primarily straight mutual sexual tension.
They may have sexual urges towards me but they may not act upon it because their urges are not overwhelming because they still leaning towards the right after all it's not gay if you look haha