posted May 05, 2014 07:10 PM            

quote:

---

Is there even such a thing as dating? In many European countries the concept does not even exist. If you ask someone on a date they might frown and think you're a weirdo

---

Another echoed that and said the very idea of dating was absurd.

I've never come across this and would like to know more about it. The closest I can think of is that some only date within their social circle (that is you've got to be friends, or at least acquaintances, before it becomes acceptable to ask him or her out anywhere) and in some places it tends to be more casual than in the US (no need to put out a lot of moolah as you do in money-conscious US). But saying the very concept doesn't exist, and that it's absurd, really surprised me. Can those of you (especially Yin and Sybil) who know about it expand on this please?

posted May 05, 2014 08:25 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by MoonWitch:
No money is required to go on a date either.

If you are romantically into someone and going hiking for free... You are dating.

---

posted May 05, 2014 08:47 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Violets:
I've always known I should live in Europe. I also find the concept of "going on a date" absurd

---

It's still to be determined if such a place in Europe actually exists.

posted May 05, 2014 09:01 PM            

There's a lot heart in Europe, whether you call it dating or hanging out. I miss the heart factor because people seem much colder on a romantic level in Australia. It's not easy to get used to.

Many parts of Easter EU are traditional and conservative - definitely rural areas.. but also some urban areas. Not only do they do the courtship or dating thing but they have very set rules for it & old school traditions - eg no sex, and 2 week long weddings.

Northern EU .. Scandinavia etc are extremely open minded. I intend to move there - not for romance, but because I love their education system. It's drastically opposite the education system in Australia (which is unfortunately becoming more and more corporate -- we just had a semi-riot about corporate universities -- and also sexist). Oh! I forgot -religious-... Yes... The religious private school thing is alive and thriving.

Anyhow in terms of dating - I could definitely see a Scandinavian person calling it outdated. I wouldn't at all be surprised.

Central EU is hmmm how do I describe it? Less modern in comparison to Northern EU but not quite as backwards as the Eastern block. They are still more so leaning towards being traditional.. so I doubt the average person would be adverse to the term "dating".

Personally - My background is Hungarian and Italian. I never date because it's just not my thing. I'd rather meet people in different ways, work, uni, hobbies..

posted May 05, 2014 09:08 PM              

Funny how a diplomatic thread would actually get locked
The energy here is so bitter and the truth is painful lol

People are sensitive to the word dating which is silly to me.
if you are HANGING OUT or seeing someone with intention of being romantically intimate that is essentially what dating is now a days..
Before dates use to be about taking people to dinner and a movie but nobody really does that anymore..

I mean you can call it hanging out if it makes you cringe.

I use to hate the word boyfriend or girlfriend but now I'm like whatever..
It's just word to describe something... Why make life complicated..

posted May 05, 2014 09:18 PM            

In my mind, if you meet someone at work, school, through your chess club, etc., there is some chemistry and you like each other so start spending more time together then you are 'dating'. "Seeing someone", courting, hanging out, "going steady" (to be really archaic), dating... all the same thing to me.

If you are going to nightclubs just to find someone to have sex with you easily then it's just 'hooking up'.

posted May 05, 2014 09:25 PM              

So i can understand your reasoning in that you want it to be shrouded with some mystery and allure.

I use to be like that and the olympics I use to go through to make my love life vague but now I sort of see things for what they are for everyone else.
I mean you can call it or describe it however you want..

but society will say.
Those two are dating lol

Next time your friend ask you about your situation.
"well there is someone that my heart craves but our souls have not united"

posted May 05, 2014 09:32 PM            

Hmm, out of curiosity, is meeting up an alternative?

Do tend to agree with Odette, the Euros I've engaged with are a bit more..warm? empathetic?
honest?

posted May 05, 2014 09:34 PM              

Which the only reason I go on them..
It always ends up as a quazi flirty friendship

posted May 05, 2014 09:56 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Kerosene:
But I will say
Going on dates with people i just met is almost never special to me.. and almost never goes anywhere.
It's like meeting new and interesting people,

Which the only reason I go on them..
It always ends up as a quazi flirty friendship

---

hmm, have a different view, to me that is the point of a "date" there is no real pre planned outcome, good conversation, fun, see where it goes from there

Personally, and it is a quirk, like seeing what a female I'm interested in orders from the menu

posted May 05, 2014 10:26 PM            

Maybe it's the damn Virgo Moon thing.

I hate it when adults say "Nom nom nom" I'm like "WTF, shut up before I smack you".

posted May 05, 2014 10:30 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Kerosene:
Lol Im sober...
do I really want to look at that locked thread?

---

posted May 05, 2014 11:33 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by MoonWitch:
I think the reason I'm sort of confused is just semantics. Maybe that's why I felt like I was talking in circles in the other threads too. People define these things differently.

In my mind, if you meet someone at work, school, through your chess club, etc., there is some chemistry and you like each other so start spending more time together then you are 'dating'. "Seeing someone", courting, hanging out, "going steady" (to be really archaic), dating... all the same thing to me.

If you are going to nightclubs just to find someone to have sex with you easily then it's just 'hooking up'.

Maybe it's the idea of looking for someone specifically for a relationship and going on a few dates to see if you're compatible without being friends first is a foreign idea elsewhere in the world?

---

posted May 06, 2014 12:10 AM            

Usually with most of my relationships I've just "fallen" into them without much dating involved, then we just hang out at each other's places, with friends or family, or go out (pubs, cinema, concerts etc) and it doesn't really feel like a "date" then, certainly not a formal one.

I think Americans have a slightly different attitude (having been there for three years). They either "hang out" (as friends), or "date" romantically and it's a little more structured. I've even noticed they put a time limit on social meetings! - whereas Europeans just play it by ear and if you're having fun then it will continue into the small hours!

Just my experience, I could be wrong.

I've always found the concept of "date night" for American couples who live together slightly amusing though. That's something Brits aren't too big on I think.

posted May 06, 2014 12:55 AM            

Odette is also correct in her musings about Scandinavian countries, the dating concept does not exist. People from Scandinavian countries, some European countries, South Korea and Japan largely fall into relationships in one of two ways. Either they get together when they in a "I like you, do you want to be my BF/GF" way (usually only in younger days in Scandinavia), after which they are in a relationship and only THEN start dating (if at all), or they get into a relationship following a sexual relationship at which point there is no dating.

posted May 06, 2014 01:07 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Kerosene:
lol Venus opposite Pluto echos "my love life is deep and special"

So i can understand your reasoning in that you want it to be shrouded with some mystery and allure.

---

Hm. . . I think Odette, Padre, Jo B and Violets are mentioning less mystery and allure. It seems like they're saying they want to find out if they can be around each other on a regular basis rather than the almost uptight feeling a date might bring.

posted May 06, 2014 02:59 AM              

quote:

---

Originally posted by MsPrism:
Hm. . . I think Odette, Padre, Jo B and Violets are mentioning less mystery and allure. It seems like they're saying they want to find out if they can be around each other on a regular basis rather than the almost uptight feeling a date might bring.

I could be wrong.

---

That's still weird to me.

It's almost like hiding your intentions.
If I'm attracted to someone Im upfront about it.

So the question is what are we going to do about?

Just hang out and pretend were friends... Yeah no, were obviously attracted to each other so lets do something big..
Yeah I don't ask them HEY LETS GO ON A DATE but it is still a date lmfao

That's very Juvenile to pretend its not unless you're just jumping straight into a relationship.. but I don't do that.
There needs to be a test run if i enjoy your company than maybe I'll go steady.

I use to do the exact same thing when I was a kid because I was so embarrassed and awkward but as I got older if just got the confidence to be direct about my intentions with someone..

Courtship is the most exciting part its when you get to all aspects of a person and see how versatile they are.

i mean I'd rather not waist my time taking it slow or casual with people I don't see myself with in the long run.
I ain't got time for that..

THE DEFINITION OF DATE.
"a social or romantic appointment or engagement."

"Two people getting together for an activity when the possibility of romance between them has been broached but not ruled out. Since the exploration of romance is the purpose of a date"

So when you decide to go to beach with someone or a moonlight hike,

You'll call it meeting up lmfaoo..

okay

y'all are lame

Wow that was a such a romantic meet up, it was nice.

posted May 06, 2014 03:16 AM              

I remember few months ago I had a friend.

and we went out to eat..

okay whatever..

Then he paid for my food I was like ohhh okay I'll get you next time I guess..

Drove around, started talking about stuff...
than........
RANDOMLY KISSED ME..

wait lol...

was this a date?

Wtf..
uhmmm awkward because Im not interested in you..

x_x

You vague people can't do ish like that's not cool.
No you need to be direct.
I like you etc we should go out sometime.
Not heeey lets chill...