posted May 18, 2014 09:13 AM            

I am seriously angry though. I feel sick :/
I know he didn't mean what he said, because he is just playing the victim in the hope I'll centre my whole world around him, but I don't actually care.
I'm completely exhausted. He drains and exhausts me. Come to think of it, I should post his chart in the emotional vampire thread sigh

posted May 18, 2014 09:18 AM            

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posted May 18, 2014 09:53 AM            

Well this remark wasn't about me, but yeah it hurt the most "I don't love you".

When my mother said that I was like "Yeah". I kinda figured it out for myself before she said it, so yah it didn't surprise me. My guts clenched, I felt resigned and shut down.

Another was a few years ago when this person said "You are so selfish. It's always easy for you to walk away, isn't it?"

That got me seeing red. I was furious. I started to throw things, scream n cry.

posted May 18, 2014 06:45 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Odette:
I was on the phone with my ex about 30 min ago, and he said talking to me about a problem he is having...

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Conclusion: don't stay in touch with exes.

posted May 18, 2014 06:45 PM            

What also hurt me and made me feel alone is I was told Granny wanted nothing to do with me. Turns out that was a lie and I should've seen through it, but I wasn't as my best when I heard this.

Several months later the school wanted to send me to a hell on earth teen gulag and as the principal and counselor were talking with my mom I said, "I bet Dad wouldn't make me go." The threat was that I'd move in with Dad, who'd eagerly take me to get out of paying child support and that thought scared Mom. While relieved when Mom told them I wasn't going anywhere it was a cold, bitter relief. It was the money she cared for, not me.

posted May 19, 2014 12:11 AM            

I'm usually exasperated at this point. I usually have tried the best I can to bend over backwards and give them the benefit of a doubt over my own gut instinct. Kind of like I'm not all cried out, but you best believe I am tired of the seemingly endless bullcrap.

posted May 19, 2014 12:21 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
What actually hurt me the most was indifference. After I returned from 6 months on the street as a runaway (and right after my birthday passed) Mom was all casual about it and said she never reported me gone as she feared losing her child support. And dad never figured it out in those months. While I realized there wasn't a lot of love in that family (just one reason I ran away) that hurt even more than insults (after all, insults showed they cared, at least a little, otherwise they wouldn't get worked up).

What also hurt me and made me feel alone is I was told Granny wanted nothing to do with me. Turns out that was a lie and I should've seen through it, but I wasn't as my best when I heard this.

Several months later the school wanted to send me to a hell on earth teen gulag and as the principal and counselor were talking with my mom I said, "I bet Dad wouldn't make me go." The threat was that I'd move in with Dad, who'd eagerly take me to get out of paying child support and that thought scared Mom. While relieved when Mom told them I wasn't going anywhere it was a cold, bitter relief. It was the money she cared for, not me.

If I'd been smarter I'd have made a deal with Dad to take me so he could get out of child support and then he could sign over guardianship to Granny which would make him and me both incredibly happy, and my life would've been very different as a result. But the adult world (and its system) was still too mysterious for me to comprehend (and thus manipulate) back then as it is today. (Too bad Dad didn't think of that himself, but then he'd have to give a damn about my point of view and desires in the first place to have thought of it.)

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