posted May 20, 2014 06:48 PM            

The second thing I wanted to say is - what you said about behaviour and body-language is true. Both men and women have particular 'means' to send seductive/sexual messages or sexual energy. This is actually pretty specific.. If you look up dating body-language - you can find a lot of classic/typical sexual signals both men and women send to each other (or to members of the same sex, if they are gay). Sometimes this isn't even a conscious process. It's very instinctual for people to display attractive body language when they are around someone (or a few someones) they are attracted to.
There's nothing wrong with this because sexuality is a part of life. But that definitely doesn't justify treating others as though they *are* their genitalia.
For instance - AG .. If you were behaving in typically sexually attractive ways, like giving me intense looks, puffing your chest, staring at my lips.. whatever else.. I might find that attractive, but it doesn't follow that it's "ok" for me to objectify you. You are still a person and a human being with several facets to your personality. Your being sexually attractive or flirting with me - doesn't give me a licence to treat you as anything less that a fellow human who happens to be attracted to me --- not a walking-penis.

posted May 20, 2014 07:13 PM            

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posted May 20, 2014 07:20 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
If a woman wants to show a lot of cleavage etc, that is cool. However, if she calls a man a pig if he looks, that is sick, to me.

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posted May 20, 2014 07:22 PM            

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posted May 20, 2014 07:29 PM            

Idk, I think that a person can send out sexy signals whether they are covered from head to toe or naked.

posted May 20, 2014 08:02 PM            

My approach is always to take the awkwardness away

Big chest-I'd bet it hurts your back

Etc

posted May 20, 2014 08:37 PM            

objectify = To present or regard as an object.
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/objectifying

If a women dresses in a sexy outfit - it's true that she wants to feel attractive/admired (even sexually) - but that doesn't mean that she wants to be treated like an object (like a prostitute - cause those are the kind of women that objectify themselves - as if they're sexual objects).

In other words - if a man takes care of his body - or if he's a big guy - should i take him as a male who tries to prove his dominance - and pick-up a fight with him? Cause hey... that's how it goes in the "animal kingdom (that's how our primitive ancestors used to behave)" and maybe my male instincts make me feel a urge to beat the crap out of him for daring to cross my path.

The women in above video does make some good points - but that, when it comes to women who either understand body language and like to play games with men - or girls who followed some bad role models (influences) in their path to womanhood (Miley Cyrus for example - also "one of the reasons why she's so hated - both by females who find her behaviour degrading in terms of femininity and parents - who used to know her as Hanna M. and now - they see her as a bad influence on their child).

"Some" women do play with men (a kind of emotional abuse - if you will) but not representative for women in general. Same as some men - play with women (thus the "Playa" urban term) - but they're not representative for all men in general. From this point of view - it's all equal.

Or should all women dress and behave like this:

- just so men feel less stimulated by their feminine features?

Cause truth be told - even dressed like this:

- she can draw attention - even sexually speaking.

posted May 20, 2014 08:57 PM            

Translation (for the important part):

quote:

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"Why are you running?"

"I'm late for my class!"

"Maybe, but you mustn't run. When you run, your behind moves around in an obscene way."

"Then stop staring at my ass!"

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posted May 20, 2014 09:14 PM            

I'd seen the Stranger Danger vids but those vids and books suck. They make the stranger look scary, furtive, and in the vids there's scary music. It wasn't anything like that when he picked me up.

After he got me close to where I said I was going he pulled into a parking garage and then said I "owed" him for the ride and the pepsi and I could give it or he could take it by force. Luckily my fire sign asserted itself and I slammed my pepsi into him and got out of the car shrieking at him while he hurriedly started the car back up and got the hell out of there (there were people around, though not close, and anyone could drive up at any moment). I had the oddest impression that he felt I'd been the one to use him rather than he had lured me to rape an underage girl who was still too naive.

Live and learn.

posted May 20, 2014 09:52 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
This 30-second video is just as applicable to American society:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WFMHvbC3M0

Translation (for the important part):

And I dare say you'll find that more common than what the video AG posted talks about. At least on my planet I've seen what AG posted happen only once...though to be fair she was dressed for da club on a public bus in the middle of the day so obviously her day wasn't going as planned (just as it was that she was in a foul mood). Still, when she yelled at a guy to stop staring (who had been from the corner of his eye) I said, "If I ever dress that way you BETTER look."

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Yeah, the scenario your video described happened to me back in February. Not only that, but when I called him out on his sexist behavior he justified it by saying 'oh, it was a complement- you need to change your mindset.' No buddy, you need to not track me down just to say my arse looks really good in my yoga pants.

posted May 20, 2014 10:08 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by BellaFenice:
Yeah, the scenario your video described happened to me back in February. Not only that, but when I called him out on his sexist behavior he justified it by saying 'oh, it was a complement- you need to change your mindset.' No buddy, you need to not track me down just to say my arse looks really good in my yoga pants.

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Oh I would have, if ones arse looked great in yoga pants, whilst outside of the yoga studio..

posted May 20, 2014 10:11 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
Btw, for the men who keep sneaking peeks at underage girls (or boys), don't think we don't notice. (Though sad how many mothers can become jealous over their daughters for that rather than concerned.)

And you are responsible for your own impulse control. No matter how you're "teased" (and whether or not that teasing is intentional).

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posted May 20, 2014 10:38 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I believe Sexual Objectification is an empty word, nothing more. Its a fancy word that feminists use to guilt trip people so they will feel sorry for women . You have to remember that the feminists modus operandi is to make women look like victims. And this word is a ploy to make women look like victims in the sex/dating markets. Its beyond absurd.. Women have tremendous power in these areas yet they are trying to tell us how rough it is... Im sorry I just dont see how its bad to have people be nice to you and want to do things for you because they like you and find you attractive..if people were nice to me, did things for me, and found me attractive and complimented me I would feel extremely privileged and flattered. Its just silly.. The whole concept is dumb.

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posted May 20, 2014 10:43 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
Oh I would have, if ones arse looked great in yoga pants, whilst outside of the yoga studio..

Track down..nope..one is in the moment,or one is not

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To add to my story, what he said was very sexually inappropriate and I was objectified to simply an attractive body.

Yeah, I mean if someone just approached me outside of a yoga class and said I looked nice/beautiful, then I would have been flattered and engaged in conversation with the man.

posted May 20, 2014 11:57 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I don't think anyone said men aren't responsible for their "impulse control". I think the message is everyone should be responsible for their actions, including women. Which means? If you have a problem with men hitting on you/flirting with you you probably shouldnt be dressing or acting in ways that encourage those behaviors.. That would be like me getting mad at a woman for complimenting my haircut, clothes, and cologne when I consciously do those things to make myself more attractive to women... I dunno.. I personally think there is some cognitive dissonance going on with some women these days.

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First, you're confusing feminism with gender. Not all women are feminists (and some men are), and many feminists don't go around with their boobs hanging out or using their gender as a credit card as asserted in that video. Feminists tend to rend their garments when "reality shows" have women behaving that way.

And second, complimenting a woman on her hair or perfume is quite different than talking about what a nice butt she has (and what he'd like to do with it) or staring intently, or much worse, hitting on her relentlessly as if she OWES him her time. What it sounds to me you're saying is that women have to be mindful of what men think and act accordingly which means you're saying such obnoxious attention is the fault of women, not themselves. That's why I said it's about impulse control. If you see some skin and can't help yourself but go all gaga, tongue hanging out, humping our leg, grabbing your crotch or whatever (as opposed to saying you like what she did with her hair and not being clingy about it), then the word for that is childish, not masculine.

posted May 21, 2014 12:17 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
First, you're confusing feminism with gender. Not all women are feminists (and some men are), and many feminists don't go around with their boobs hanging out or using their gender as a credit card as asserted in that video. Feminists tend to rend their garments when "reality shows" have women behaving that way.

And second, complimenting a woman on her hair or perfume is quite different than talking about what a nice butt she has (and what he'd like to do with it) or staring intently, or much worse, hitting on her relentlessly as if she OWES him her time. What it sounds to me you're saying is that women have to be mindful of what men think and act accordingly which means you're saying such obnoxious attention is the fault of women, not themselves. That's why I said it's about impulse control. If you see some skin and can't help yourself but go all gaga, tongue hanging out, humping our leg, grabbing your crotch or whatever (as opposed to saying you like what she did with her hair and not being clingy about it), then the word for that is childish, not masculine.

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