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Author
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Topic: Rejecting online people aka potential dates
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MetalAphrodite
Moderator Posts: 2236
From: Zanguin :3
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted May 28, 2014 07:57 PM
  
So most of my rejections come in the form of silences. Someone sees me, doesn't like me, I get the cold shoulder. End of story, move on.It does hurt briefly, but it's better I know at first then find out a bajillion messages later that they were leading me on or something. However, I have a hard time rejecting people that seem like they're honestly trying to communicate with me. I see that they're trying, but I don't feel any personal chemistry. I've noticed one way to weed people like this out is to let them do it to themselves. They think if they don't receive an immediate response then they automatically can be rude and then exit. Okay, whatever. You rejected yourself. Is it better to let a person down with a message or should I just give the cold shoulder and block? IP: Logged |
ariestaurus
Knowflake Posts: 264
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted May 28, 2014 08:29 PM
Personally, I prefer blocking because in my experience, sending a polite 'no thank you' message inevitably leads to more messages. 'Why? I think we'd be great together. I think im your type. What about a quick coffee? Lunch? Come on, give me a chance. I don't bite.' Waste of time. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 55108
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted May 28, 2014 08:43 PM
I am honest cuz it is good practice to be honest and learn how to handle situations in an honest way, where hopefully both people can leave feeling respected. That is the key. There is a way to let people down that they can walk away with their egos intact, most of the time imo------------------
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http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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PixieJane
Moderator Posts: 4530
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted May 28, 2014 08:48 PM
OL I'd give a polite refusal as there's no chance for either violent retaliation against you nor humiliation of being shot down in public for him. OTOH, if too many guys got offended anyway or didn't accept that answer then I'd change to blocking them. IP: Logged |
BellaFenice
Knowflake Posts: 324
From: Phoenix, AZ, USA
Registered: Sep 2013
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posted May 28, 2014 08:49 PM
quote:
Originally posted by ariestaurus:
Personally, I prefer blocking because in my experience, sending a polite 'no thank you' message inevitably leads to more messages. 'Why? I think we'd be great together. I think im your type. What about a quick coffee? Lunch? Come on, give me a chance. I don't bite.' Waste of time.
Lol you wouldn't happen to be a Sag would you? Sounds like something my Sag friends would say.  Edit: I prefer not to block, but when you get a stage 5 clinger what else are you going to do? Yawn...here comes the 'women are evil' part. Because apparently the thread is about female behavior online and not "what do you do in this situation." IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 9480
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted May 29, 2014 12:06 AM
sending a polite 'no thank you' message inevitably leads to more messages. 'Why? I think we'd be great together. I think im your type. What about a quick coffee? Lunch? Come on, give me a chance. I don't bite.' Waste of time. [/B][/QUOTE]
This is generalizing. A lot of guys would appreciate a polite "not interested" message. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 9480
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted May 29, 2014 12:26 AM
MA,
Take it from a man who has done online dating on and off the past few years. My experience was most women will either ignore, lead a guy on, or go to the opposite extreme and even insult a guy. But I have encountered a few women who had the cojones to actually send me a message thanking me for my nice message but that they weren't interested. And ya know what? I respect the women who can do that.IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 10591
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted May 29, 2014 01:00 AM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
MA,
Take it from a man who has done online dating on and off the past few years. My experience was most women will either ignore, lead a guy on, or go to the opposite extreme and even insult a guy. But I have encountered a few women who had the cojones to actually send me a message thanking me for my nice message but that they weren't interested. And ya know what? I respect the women who can do that.
If you want a woman with cojones......you might not actually want a woman.  Don't you deal with enough women with cojones here ag? I don't think you could handle one in an actual relationship. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 9480
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted May 29, 2014 01:06 AM
quote:
Originally posted by T:
If you want a woman with cojones......you might not actually want a woman. Don't you deal with enough women with cojones here ag? I don't think you could handle one in an actual relationship.
By "woman with cojones" I meant a woman who can be honest and real with me without being rude. I wouldn't include a group of women who gang up on me on a forum on a list of women who have cojones. IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 10591
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted May 29, 2014 01:07 AM
Luckily it's easier to ignore or cut someone off online. I rejected a guy here a few of years ago and am still paying the price for it. The worst part was he actually had a girlfriend at the time, which I didnt know. Some guys do not take rejection well at all. And they can lash out at you harder online than they probably would to your face. It's the main reason I don't get close to people online or join dating sites etc.IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 10591
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted May 29, 2014 01:15 AM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
By "woman with cojones" I meant a woman who can be honest and real with me without being rude. I wouldn't include a group of women who gang up on me on a forum on a list of women who have cojones.
ag, you are on a forum primarily made up of women, so natrually 99% of the responses you get will be from women. That does not mean women are ganging up on you. It means your audience here is mostly women. Btw besides you, I can only think of 3 members who would probably agree with you on that statement, as they consistently have : Randall, Ami & YTA. The rest of us - large majority, know that that is not what is going on. IP: Logged |
BellaFenice
Knowflake Posts: 324
From: Phoenix, AZ, USA
Registered: Sep 2013
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posted May 29, 2014 01:16 AM
quote:
Originally posted by T:
Luckily it's easier to ignore or cut someone off online. I rejected a guy here a few of years ago and am still paying the price for it. The worst part was he actually had a girlfriend at the time, which I didnt know. Some guys do not take rejection well at all. And they can lash out at you harder online than they probably would to your face. It's the main reason I don't get close to people online or join dating sites etc.
Wow T, sorry to hear that! Ick that he had a girlfriend too.
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T
Knowflake Posts: 10591
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted May 29, 2014 01:18 AM
Thanks. I was pretty angry and sickened when i found that out too.IP: Logged |
ariestaurus
Knowflake Posts: 264
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted May 29, 2014 06:18 AM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
sending a polite 'no thank you' message inevitably leads to more messages. 'Why? I think we'd be great together. I think im your type. What about a quick coffee? Lunch? Come on, give me a chance. I don't bite.' Waste of time.
This is generalizing. A lot of guys would appreciate a polite "not interested" message.[/B][/QUOTE]I dont owe a stranger any of my time.
Plus it's better to ignore than lead on or insult.
And in my post I wrote that this has been my experience. Out of 15 guys I reply to with the polite decline, 10 do a follow up 'why?' Message. Also MA said she has 61 msgs in her inbox. I live in a huge city so tons of men are in my area so I got tons of messages. How can I be expected to reply to each and every person? Who has the time for that???????
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ariestaurus
Knowflake Posts: 264
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted May 29, 2014 06:18 AM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
sending a polite 'no thank you' message inevitably leads to more messages. 'Why? I think we'd be great together. I think im your type. What about a quick coffee? Lunch? Come on, give me a chance. I don't bite.' Waste of time.
This is generalizing. A lot of guys would appreciate a polite "not interested" message.[/B][/QUOTE]I dont owe a stranger any of my time.
Plus it's better to ignore than lead on or insult.
And in my post I wrote that this has been my experience. As a sample, out of, say, 15 guys I reply to with the polite decline, 10 do a follow up 'why?' Message. Also MA said she has 61 msgs in her inbox. I live in a huge city so tons of men are in my area so I got tons of messages. How can I be expected to reply to each and every person? Who has the time for that???????
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ariestaurus
Knowflake Posts: 264
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted May 29, 2014 06:20 AM
quote:
Originally posted by BellaFenice:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by ariestaurus:
[b]Personally, I prefer blocking because in my experience, sending a polite 'no thank you' message inevitably leads to more messages. 'Why? I think we'd be great together. I think im your type. What about a quick coffee? Lunch? Come on, give me a chance. I don't bite.' Waste of time.
Lol you wouldn't happen to be a Sag would you? Sounds like something my Sag friends would say. Edit: I prefer not to block, but when you get a stage 5 clinger what else are you going to do? Yawn...here comes the 'women are evil' part. Because apparently the thread is about female behavior online and not "what do you do in this situation."[/B][/QUOTE] Yes I'm a sag! What are you? Haha looks like your prediction was right! We can't have a discussion about this kind of stuff without being trolled. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 9480
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted May 29, 2014 07:15 AM
quote:
Originally posted by ariestaurus:
I dont owe a stranger any of my time.
Plus it's better to ignore than lead on or insult.
And in my post I wrote that this has been my experience. As a sample, out of, say, 15 guys I reply to with the polite decline, 10 do a follow up 'why?' Message. Also MA said she has 61 msgs in her inbox. I live in a huge city so tons of men are in my area so I got tons of messages. How can I be expected to reply to each and every person? Who has the time for that???????
You are doing it again..... By that I mean you are reading things into my post that I didn't even say. I never said or implied that women are obligated to respond to every message they receive. The OP asked how to reject people and I simply stated that I like when the woman takes the time to write me a polite "thanks, but not interested" message , that's just my preference. It's something that they don't have to do but its just a nice gesture and shows that they are a thoughtful and kind person. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 9480
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted May 29, 2014 07:19 AM
quote:
Originally posted by ariestaurus:
Yes I'm a sag! What are you? Haha looks like your prediction was right! We can't have a discussion about this kind of stuff without being trolled.
Huh? This is just ridiculous! I'm trolling because I said I appreciate getting a polite rejection message? IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 9480
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted May 29, 2014 07:32 AM
Yawn...here comes the 'women are evil' part. Because apparently the thread is about female behavior online and not "what do you do in this situation."[/B][/QUOTE]WTF? Are you being serious? So when I bring up my personal experiences I'm being hateful and implying all women are evil? Again my only response to this is wtf? You and other posters here are so biased it makes my head hurt. And BTW AriesTaurus said she prefers to block guys because she assumes they wont know how to take no for an answer....that is her experience! So why aren't you giving her sh*t and saying "and here comes the all men are evil part". Did it ever occur to you that I report negative experiences with women because I am a straight man? Kind of like how straight women bring up their negative experiences with men all the time.... The only difference is women are allowed to do this... Nobody ever calls them a misandrist , negative, or implies they need to quit being a baby and "man-up". IP: Logged |
Faith
Knowflake Posts: 7460
From:
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted May 29, 2014 07:54 AM
I'm bored and feel like organizing data just for cheap thrills (6H sun and Mercury at your service.)Sequentially, then: quote:
Originally posted by BellaFenice:
Yawn...here comes the 'women are evil' part. Because apparently the thread is about female behavior online and not "what do you do in this situation."
Next... quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Take it from a man who has done online dating on and off the past few years. My experience was most women will either ignore, lead a guy on, or go to the opposite extreme and even insult a guy.
^Complaint about "most women" Next... quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
WTF? Are you being serious? So when I bring up my personal experiences I'm being hateful and implying all women are evil? Again my only response to this is wtf?
Bella's prediction was somewhat accurate, as your complaint arrived promptly ("here it comes" she said) and did include a strong complaint against most women you've encountered via online dating. Ignoring men, leading them on, and insulting them...are these "evil" behaviors? Well, that is all subjective. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 9480
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted May 29, 2014 08:04 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Faith:
I'm bored and feel like organizing data just for cheap thrills (6H sun and Mercury at your service.)Sequentially, then: ^Complaint about "most women" Next... [QUOTE]Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[b]WTF? Are you being serious? So when I bring up my personal experiences I'm being hateful and implying all women are evil? Again my only response to this is wtf?
Bella's prediction was somewhat accurate, as your complaint arrived promptly ("here it comes" she said) and did include a strong complaint against most women you've encountered via online dating. Ignoring men, leading them on, and insulting them...are these "evil" behaviors? Well, that is all subjective. [/B][/QUOTE]
Faith, she edited that in after I had posted , it was in no way,shape, or form a prediction on her part. That should have been perfectly clear because it says edit right above that part. And what I said was not a complaint, just sharing personal experience and in my personal experience that is what most of them do.
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Faith
Knowflake Posts: 7460
From:
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted May 29, 2014 09:30 AM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Faith, she edited that in after I had posted , it was in no way,shape, or form a prediction on her part. That should have been perfectly clear because it says edit right above that part.
Not "perfectly clear," because the edits don't record the time. Since I wasn't watching the thread unfold, I have no way of knowing when she edited. But I see, it may not have been a prediction. quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
And what I said was not a complaint, just sharing personal experience and in my personal experience that is what most of them do.
 Complaint, "sharing" negative experiences...pretty much the same thing.
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BellaFenice
Knowflake Posts: 324
From: Phoenix, AZ, USA
Registered: Sep 2013
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posted May 29, 2014 10:11 AM
quote:
Originally posted by ariestaurus:
Yes I'm a sag! What are you? Haha looks like your prediction was right! We can't have a discussion about this kind of stuff without being trolled.
Aqua! I have a lot of Sag friends, so much fun. Lol I edited after his first post but know where it's headed now.
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Randall
Webmaster Posts: 40871
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted May 29, 2014 10:43 AM
I think it's physically impossible for a Mod to troll. And a member sharing his experiences isn't trolling, or else you all are trolls by the very definition you use with him. IP: Logged |
Faith
Knowflake Posts: 7460
From:
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted May 29, 2014 11:33 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Randall:
I think it's physically impossible for a Mod to troll.
? IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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