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Author Topic:   Were you more insecure in school?
PixieJane
Moderator

Posts: 5098
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted August 17, 2014 05:24 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PixieJane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Nothing long here, just the question.

If you think you're different (better or worse), do you know why? For example, perhaps when you were a kid adults used their power against you mercilessly (and they do tend to care about where you fall in the social hierarchy of your peers which shapes the arbitrary injustice to whether it's in your favor or not) so maybe if that was no longer the case as an adult then you got to care less about how you were perceived. OTOH, maybe someone who feels just as harshly judged and insecure as an adult as they did in school may have never escaped the genuine need of the approval of authority & peers (that is, what they thought of you really did determine what your life was like, and therefore it's tied into the survival instincts). I've even heard one guy who said he was less insecure as a kid because his silliness was tolerated then (but got him in trouble as he got older) and the world hadn't kicked his butt a few times yet.

I'm especially curious to hear from those who feel harshly criticized here at LL (and imagine "scathing, judgmental tones" in posts), was it worse as a kid? If not, did circumstances change as you got older as for being dependent on the approval of authority & peers in order to get ahead (or even just not fall behind)? Conversely, could it be psychic scars that makes the past intrude on the present?

I know the standard theories promoted by psychologists and the like, but I'm having my doubts about those theories. I don't want dogma or stock answers, I want experience delivered with fearless introspection.

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teasel
Knowflake

Posts: 6356
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 17, 2014 11:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for teasel     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I was.

I have a neediness that comes and goes. I realize at times that I've been hoping for someone to come around, and it just wasn't going to happen (a few times). It's such a relief when I no longer had to deal with them (I'm not talking about anyone from LL) - a weight was lifted, when I no longer had to deal with digs/passive-aggressive attitudes.

I'm still not feeling so well, although today was better, so I might be back to say more. I haven't read your whole post (yet).

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12muddy
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Posts: 1941
From:
Registered: Feb 2013

posted August 18, 2014 05:11 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for 12muddy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It was a mixture of anger, frustration, insecurity...etc...

Anyway... When I was growing up, being a child meant that I was pretty much at the bottom of the food chain. Had no control over any aspect of my life, had no power of choices. Must do what the adults said. The thoughts I had weren’t in line with what they deemed as “right” and they tried to weed those thoughts out. It hurt because I knew I disappointed my parents, caused them worries and grief by being me. It made me doubt myself.

Hmm, now I’m not like that simply because my circumstances have changed. To a certain degree I have the freedom that I wanted. I’m not small and dependable anymore so yeah that gives me a little power to control my life. As for my parents, eventually I realized that it wasn’t entirely my fault. So although I know they are disappointed that I don’t turn out the way they want, I don’t feel “responsible” for that anymore.

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Faith
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Posts: 8102
From:
Registered: Jul 2011

posted August 18, 2014 10:01 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Faith     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
nvm

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 44078
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 31, 2014 03:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I was.

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 44078
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 02, 2014 03:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I grew out of my shell.

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