posted August 24, 2014 06:02 PM            

Marriage ended 6 years ago and there is minimal drama with that but there are just a few behavioral things with the girl..

Your bf has hinted at similar but not said anything concrete except that the girl had a bruise on thigh one time a few years ago and it hasn't happened since.

Bf and ex wife are behaving nicely for their daughters sake and all is well so as far as you know there is no family drama behind the scenes but there is something somewhere...

How to proceed?

posted August 24, 2014 06:42 PM            

"Something not right" is very vague, btw, and everyone makes mistakes, that is to say of course not everything is going to be right between everyone at all times. It's only when it's chronic (or dangerous) that it should be a concern. But if it was a persistent feeling then I'd examine my feelings closely to try to find WHAT was wrong and looking for something solid to point at in case I needed to.

And I can't say a bruise on a child's thigh from years ago would phase me at all, not for the sake of the bruise all by itself, given how rambunctious (and clumsy) children tend to be (I've always thought that it's a good thing children heal very fast). You should've seen how banged up I got as a kid. One pic of me as a little girl has me wearing 2 band aids on one leg and 3 on another, plus another on my elbow and yet another on the back of my hand. While I can't recall how I came to need so many band aids I do know it wasn't because I was abused.

posted August 25, 2014 11:08 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
If it were me I'd ask the boyfriend and remind him he has a responsibility to the child. 'Course I wouldn't hammer him until he "confesses" as that can lead to false confessions.

"Something not right" is very vague, btw, and everyone makes mistakes, that is to say of course not everything is going to be right between everyone at all times. It's only when it's chronic (or dangerous) that it should be a concern. But if it was a persistent feeling then I'd examine my feelings closely to try to find WHAT was wrong and looking for something solid to point at in case I needed to.

And I can't say a bruise on a child's thigh from years ago would phase me at all, not for the sake of the bruise all by itself, given how rambunctious (and clumsy) children tend to be (I've always thought that it's a good thing children heal very fast). You should've seen how banged up I got as a kid. One pic of me as a little girl has me wearing 2 band aids on one leg and 3 on another, plus another on my elbow and yet another on the back of my hand. While I can't recall how I came to need so many band aids I do know it wasn't because I was abused.

Still, boyfriend. Stepping into the family matters of others shouldn't be done lightly for many reasons. But if he "knows something" then he needs to keep in mind his first responsibility is to his child, not his ex (or even just to himself in case it's him "not wanting to be bothered").

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