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Author Topic:   For Deepblue seas
Ami Anne
Moderator

Posts: 58117
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted September 01, 2014 11:07 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I just want you to know that I TOTALLY understand what you meant and I TOTALLY get it and you are not alone!

You can write to me at my e mail under my Mod name if you want, too.

The worst thing is to put something out there and feel alone.

I hate that so much

------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.


http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/

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Ami Anne
Moderator

Posts: 58117
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted September 02, 2014 05:24 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Bump

------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.


http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 46363
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 20, 2014 05:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
*bump*

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deepseablues
Knowflake

Posts: 361
From: the ocean floor
Registered: Jan 2014

posted September 21, 2014 10:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for deepseablues     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I wanted to reply to your kind offer Ami, (also Randall's kind concern in the other thread) but I do not know what I would say at this point if I did email you. Further, I do not wish to post in this forum (beyond this last reply), I felt attacked, when I was just trying to understand something and do not wish to invoke those people/responses again, nor to I want to have to defend myself.

Randall- I don't know if I can say I am feeling "better." I just am. I am very tired and sad a lot. Lost and confused. But I am not saying that to victim/martyr myself like everyone thinks. It is just a fact and how I feel most of the time.

I still do not love myself, nor do I understand how to. Which is all I really wanted to learn in my thread. How to do it. But I guess wanting to understand how to do something I don't know/understand how to makes me a victim/martyr in some people's eyes, and makes them think I am seeking outside love. I am not seeking love from anyone. I will probably never be in a relationship again for everyone's information that told me that I am, nor do I have parents/family to try to seek this love from, but neither do a lot of people too. I am just trying to get by and pick my life back up, a seemingly impossible task to me, but one which I am undertaking nonetheless, and undertaking 100% alone. Who knows if I will succeed? I guess that's beyond the point.

There is a Modest Mouse song that explains how I feel a lot of the time. I feel the need to post some of it with this post.

"Talking Sh*t About a Pretty Sunset."
"...And I claim I'm not excited with my life any more
So I blame this town, this job, these friends
The truth is it's myself
And I'm trying to understand myself
and pinpoint where I am
When I finally get it figured out
I've change the whole damn plan
Oh noose tied myself in, tied myself too tight
Talking sh*t about a pretty sunset
Blanketing opinions that I'll probably regret soon
I've changed my mind so much I cant even trust it
My mind changed me so much I cant even trust myself
"

They have so many songs/lyrics that fit me.

But maybe I should post this one by Neil Young instead, its like he wrote it for me and where I got my name for this forum from.

"Lost In Space"

Live with me, live with me
Live with me, live with me
Live with me.

Lost in space
I heard you were lost in space
That's such a lonely place
for you to be.

Out of control
Singin' with too much soul
I heard you got out on parole
Workin' for the queen.

Gardening again
Landscape again
Keepin' all the grounds
around her clean
Workin' for the queen.

Don't take out the magic pen
Don't draw on the infinity board
Your buildings, if they rise again
Would do much better
on the ocean floor
They'll never feel the way
they did before
They did before.

Out on the ocean floor,
out on the ocean floor
What could be stranger
than the unknown danger
That lies on the ocean floor?

Breakers crash on the beach
I count them like lambs in my sleep
They come at me steady
They know I'm not ready
They pound on my mattress door
Have they got a big one in store.

Losing you
I heard I was losing you
That's not the only thing
that I got to lose
I got to lose
The deep sea blues
Look at these blues
The deep sea blues

Live with me, live with me."

Such a beautiful song. OK that's all.

Thanks again for the kind responses and concerns.

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Ami Anne
Moderator

Posts: 58117
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted September 22, 2014 09:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I wanted to reply to your kind offer Ami, (also Randall's kind concern in the other thread) but I do not know what I would say at this point if I did email you. Further, I do not wish to post in this forum (beyond this last reply), I felt attacked, when I was just trying to understand something and do not wish to invoke those people/responses again, nor to I want to have to defend myself.

This has been my walk for 6 years. I have gotten attacked and little by little by little by little, it rolls off my back.

I have my own website, now, as you may know and the attacks have escalated but I learned on here how to DEAL with it.

Now, the attacks are worse but I am cool in 95% of the cases.

I lose it sometimes but I learned all that on here with the help of a few dear people whom I will always be grateful to.

In other words, if you CAN, try to stay and go through it because it is everywhere, not just here

------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.


http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 46363
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 24, 2014 10:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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Ami Anne
Moderator

Posts: 58117
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted October 19, 2014 12:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Bump

------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.


http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 46363
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009

posted October 31, 2014 05:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Bump!

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 46363
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 07, 2014 11:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Glad you're feeling better.

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deepseablues
Knowflake

Posts: 361
From: the ocean floor
Registered: Jan 2014

posted November 08, 2014 03:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for deepseablues     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Am I feeling better? I have lots of intense ups and downs, with more downs that ups.

Lately I am more lonely, confused and lost than ever so I don't know if I'd call that better. I feel like I have no time for anything and can't prioritize my time when I do have some.

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