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Author Topic:   Gaslighting and Depression
Ami Anne
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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted October 03, 2014 07:32 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Gaslighting is one the worst forms of abuse. Gaslighting is when someone tries to take away your reality. The word originated from the classic Alfred Hitchcock movie, by the same name. In the movie, a man married an heiress. He wants to drive her to madness, so he can take her money. He turns the lights off and on. When she asks about this, he says that it is not happening.That is the basis for Gaslighting.

Someone denies the reality of the other to the point that the abused person questions his reality and in time, does not trust it at all. At this point, the Gaslighted person can be victimized because she has no internal frame of reference or compass.Gaslighting is at it’s worst in the hands of parents.. In these cases, the child grows up with a great deal of insecurity. He cannot trust himself, so the world is a terrible, terribly scary place.

The article is about Gaslighting and Depression. It is said that depression is anger turned inward. I think depression is the child’s response to an environment in which she is helpless. If she is abused, she will have a great deal of anger to the abuser( and the other parent if he/she is too weak to help). Furthermore, one of the main mechanisms with which people abuse others is Gaslighting. If a person has been Gaslighted as a child, he will much more readily accept it as an adult. Herein lies the root of many problems.

The Gaslighted person does not have the confidence to identify and cope well with Gaslighting when she is an adult. She has been inculcated with it. She grew up with it as mother’s milk. Hence, she finds herself in many abusive relationships and does not understand why. She finds that her life does not work and does not understand why. The reason is that she has lost touch with her compass. One’s compass is one’s inner emotional guide. If it’s needle is spinning, one is up a creek without a paddle, as they saying goes.

When one has to deal with a Gaslighter, one must hold tight to one’s own reality. The Gaslighter will attempt to dislodge it. One needs someone close and reliable with whom one can trust because the Gaslighter is merciless. She has no identity but that of the frozen mask. She will fight with all that is in her to keep that mask on.

I have gotten a little far afield of the subject of the article which is Gaslighting and Depression. In my opinion, Gaslighting sets one up for depression. Depression is a result of a loss of one’s authentic voice. Depression results when one must hide one’s true self . When one is Gaslighted, one feels shame. One feels that one is uniquely different and worse than others. That is one of the classic results of Gaslighting. Hence, for all of the above reasons, one develops depression, in my opinion.

That leaves us with the question of how to overcome depression. One must recognize that one has been Gaslighted which is the case for all abuse victims. One must be able to see that it was not one’s fault. One was at the vortex of a situation that was not as it seemed. One was forced to accept an alternative reality in order to survive. All these steps prepare one to reclaim her reality. It is possible. I am doing it, so I can tell you that it can be done and there is hope!

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Virgo28
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From: Miami, FL
Registered: Nov 2013

posted October 03, 2014 07:46 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Virgo28     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I was about to recommend some digestive enzymes and a box of matches but then I read the post.

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"If a man does not work passionately - even furiously - at being the best in the world at what he does, he fails his talent, his destiny, and his God."

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Ami Anne
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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted October 03, 2014 07:56 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Virgo28:
I was about to recommend some digestive enzymes and a box of matches but then I read the post.



OMG You are so funny

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teasel
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posted October 03, 2014 03:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for teasel     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
edited.

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Ami Anne
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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted October 03, 2014 04:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks for sharing, Teasel!

I have learned a lot in my 6-7 years on LL. It is really a result of two people, Lalalinda and Randall because they let me BE as I was and I was a mess.

That acceptance and love they gave me helped me to start the healing process.

You have to let a person be just where they are for them to change.

You have to love someone, as is.

The people who bang away at people to change are immature.

Wisdom is knowing that a person in distress has reached her last nerve and her last defense mechanism.

Don't bang her. Love her. If you can't love her, shut the eff up.

For you, or anyone who had one too many situation before they broke, it just happens that way.

No one can judge the last straw that pushes a person into a shell.

I am sooo glad you shared, Teasel. Please, keep doing it.

I am on your side

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Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.


http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/

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mirage29
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posted October 03, 2014 05:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mirage29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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Ami Anne
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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
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posted October 03, 2014 05:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Mirage

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Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.


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mirage29
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posted October 04, 2014 04:25 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for mirage29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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Ami Anne
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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
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posted October 04, 2014 08:32 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
This is your community, Mirage. When I first came in, LL was my step out of isolation just as you are in.

Let it nurture you. There are some AMAZING people here.

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Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.


http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/

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mirage29
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posted October 04, 2014 07:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mirage29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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mirage29
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posted October 06, 2014 02:11 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for mirage29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
-

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Dancing Maenad
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From: The Harvest
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posted October 08, 2014 02:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dancing Maenad     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
As a person who's been through it too, I can attest to what you wrote. It is, indeed, more harmful when you doubt your own thoughts, memories, yourself. I wasted 2 decades in denial of the abuse, bewildered, because of it.

I am glad you are doing better, Ami!


Mirage, sweetheart I am very sorry for what you are going through! Please find a way and get away from him, as soon as you can - for your own peace of mind. You don't deserve this.

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~the raving one dancing in the nude~

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mirage29
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posted October 08, 2014 07:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mirage29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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Ami Anne
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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
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posted October 08, 2014 07:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks DM!

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Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.


http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/

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elixir
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posted October 09, 2014 03:38 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for elixir     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Wow. This explains my life.

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Ami Anne
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Posts: 57429
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted October 09, 2014 07:47 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by elixir:
Wow. This explains my life.


I know, Elixer! It takes a long, long time to see it but when you do, you have the beginning of the long walk to freedom.

Then, you start seeing it in everyday life, too, but just seeing it allows you not to get hooked as much.

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Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.


http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/

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Ami Anne
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Posts: 57429
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted October 11, 2014 09:22 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Once you see Gaslighting, your whole life changes. Bless those who see it!

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Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.


http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/

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