posted November 24, 2014 12:11 AM            

So the boyfriend of one of my wife's friends broke up with her on ground that she "lied to him about being a virgin;" And his only argument against her was the fact that she didn't "bleed" during their first time together.

Seriously?

I am pretty sure (or rather I hope) that a lot of guys already know this but a woman can accidentally break her hymen in a number of ways (sports being a common factor.) Infact, only a few girls ever make it till the age of 16 these days with a completely intact hymen.

My wife's friend played Varsity Volleyball for 5 years; Wayyyy before she met her boyfriend. So its not too much of a stretch to believe her when she said that she lost her hymen because of the stresses, strains and the stretches involved with the sport.

And lets just say for argument's sake that she did have a partner before she met her boyfriend. I can see why lying to him can be problematic but his idiotic conservative views don't really help the matter now do they... He wants a "pure" girl after all.

posted November 24, 2014 01:50 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Was the guy a virgin himself? If not, he is kind of a hypocrite for being deadset on a woman being a virgin. But if he is a virgin I could understand why he would be that way. I think it takes an incredible amount of self control for a guy to save himself. So it's easy to understand why it would be a big deal for him. But the sad thing is there is no way to know if someone is a virgin. You just kind of have to take their word on it.

---

Surprisingly (or rather, not so surprisingly) enough, he wasn't one himself when he was dating her. Its amazing how conservatives can be all gung ho about enforcing double standards on the opposite sex.

But lets just say that he was a Virgin. He still needs to learn a bit more about females in order to understand that not having a hymen doesn't necessarily means not being a Virgin. Some women aren't even born with Hymens.

I actually told her that she should have told him that maybe the issue might be related to his small penis and how it just doesn't goes that far in to do any damage to her hymen.

posted November 24, 2014 02:40 AM            

Here in the United States our so-called "sex ed" contributes a lot to that. Though it's been changing the last few years most states have "abstinence only" which is essentially a program to scare you out of sex and not even mention many things. Heck, check out why President Clinton got rid of the U.S. Surgeon General.

posted November 24, 2014 03:06 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by PixieJane:
Sexual ignorance, at least in the United States, is truly shocking. IIRC, you're from Canada. If I told you some of the worst bits of ignorance I've even overheard spouted on a public bus (even in California) I wouldn't be surprised if you thought I was exaggerating. And I'm not just talking virginity, but everything, from sexual orientation to biology. And women can be mind boggling ignorant about their own bodies, too, which is far worse to me than when a man is...that kind of ignorance takes EFFORT. And I don't even see what they payoff is, though it doesn't surprise me that some survey found like half of the women under 30 (including married ones) never experienced orgasm.

---

While I am currently (and a proud) Canadian Citizen, I wasn't always one Pixie. In fact, I am biracial (Half Middle Eastern from my Dad's Side, Half European Spanish from my Mom's side,) and I was born in what is probably one of the most repressive Nation in the world; Particularly when it comes to Women's rights. It was later on that I immigrated to Canada (with my brothers) and became a Canadian Citizen. So I thank my lucky stars for having wonderful parents as role models; More particularly, an intelligent, well-educated, career oriented and strong minded mother who painted a positive image for females everywhere.

My personal understand of women just comes through spending time with them in general; May it be through friendships or through relationships; Which in-turn led to sexual experiences and understanding. Which is why I personally do think (and as you stated as well,) lack of sexual understanding just leads to misconceptions that have no bearing on

posted November 24, 2014 03:13 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by PixieJane:
Forgot to mention, one woman told me her FEMALE DOCTOR gave her a hard time for not having her hymen intact when she was an adult and pretty much made it clear without saying outright that the one without her hymen who had never been married was some kind of **** .

That said, this would have been like the early 1960s when this happened, but still. A female doctor...

---