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Author
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Topic: Holiday Stress Relief Thread (Good for Venting!)
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sweet-scorpion
Moderator Posts: 2338
From: CO, USA
Registered: Apr 2012
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posted December 06, 2014 03:53 AM
  
I wanted to open this a little early because I felt it was necessary [lol]. This is for all the people who struggle with the holidays for whatever reason - finances, family issues [ALWAYS a biggie, right?], overextending yourself, SAD, you name it. As Christmas, Hanukkah, etc. is less than 20-some days away, I thought this would be a good idea to give some members of LL a safe space to vent or share their thoughts about why the holidays can stress them out. I'll go first: I like being among relatives at Christmas, yet I feel I have the burden of being constantly 'up' and cheerful even when I am not or else people will question me and ask me what is 'wrong' with me. This is especially apparent during gift giving/exchanges among relatives. They carefully observe my reactions and become visibly annoyed or put off if I am not jumping for joy with each gift. I quietly but generously express my gratitude, yet they need emotional displays I cannot give. This is always an issue with my family in general, but it's worse at Christmas! I am already dreading this as I prepare to go home in 1 week. It is not a huge deal, but it does suck out some of the fun on Christmas morning. I wish it were more relaxed. Feel free to post stories, etc. It's good to get these annoying little things off your chest! This time of year can be wonderful, but just as easily challenging and stressful. IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Moderator Posts: 9129
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted December 07, 2014 12:58 PM
It's not a big deal, but Thanksgiving / Christmas dinners aren't even fun at my house. My mom has Celiac's and is very extreme (she's fixing a bunch of other self-diagnosed health problems...) so our "feasts" usually consist of meat, salad, and some lemon juice for dressing. Dessert is literally just a carton of raspberries. It's just not warm and cozy and any fun because we eat the same things we eat ALL YEAR ROUND. I'm completely aware this is like, #firstworldproblems, and whatnot...but still. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 58822
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted December 07, 2014 01:09 PM
Great Thread. I think everyone thinks everyone else is having fun but them lol
PS I am loving the unity on this Forum lately. I want to thank everyone for that. This is a great Forum 
------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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sweet-scorpion
Moderator Posts: 2338
From: CO, USA
Registered: Apr 2012
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posted December 07, 2014 04:40 PM
@hanna I'm sorry you don't have fun holidays /hugs/ Your mom sounds a lot like my mom. She's a hypochrondriac, but she also has an abundance of other issues that make her extremely high strung at the holidays. I'm sure other people go through the same challenges as we do at the holidays, so I try not to feel bad about it! Have you ever had a 'friendsgiving' and/or a Christmas celebration with friends? I think 'friendsgivings' are more fun for me than traditional Thanksgivings, since a lot of my relatives take the fun out of it by being disruptive, rude or drunk during the holidays and this worsens my anxiety. I can see you having a really nice time doing a friendsgiving.  It's nice to be with friends since you can do what you want, eat and drink what you want, and feel relaxed. Especially in your case, doing a friendsgiving next year could let you go all out and have an awesome, festive pot luck before having to go back home! IP: Logged |
sweet-scorpion
Moderator Posts: 2338
From: CO, USA
Registered: Apr 2012
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posted December 07, 2014 04:41 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Great Thread. I think everyone thinks everyone else is having fun but them lol
PS I am loving the unity on this Forum lately. I want to thank everyone for that. This is a great Forum
Thanks Ami! Hugs!! I think you're right. It seems like a lot of the time, when the holidays are difficult or go wrong, we feel like we're the only ones who are miserable but this isn't true. :-/ That's why I wanted everyone to have a support thread to vent, give advice etc. just to get some basic consolation that they aren't alone. IP: Logged |
charlie
Knowflake Posts: 2641
From: los angeles, ca, USA
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted December 09, 2014 04:36 AM
I don't struggle with holidays except the fact I just want to wake up to 2015...I find most traditional celebrations rather fake and exhausting. IP: Logged |
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 3884
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted December 09, 2014 04:53 AM
My stress is different..instead of all of the pressure..everyone..is gone..even the dog
INOW..either go out n about or dwell or perhaps eat a homeless shelter..not sure
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aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 10222
From: Uranus
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted December 09, 2014 06:23 AM
Interestingly enough I can't really complain about my family's holiday get-togethers.Which is odd considering both sides of my family are dysfunctional and there's plenty of drama there but thankfully they usually don't let it spill over into our holiday festivities. We generally all get together ,despite our differences at the time,and have fun. The only bad thing I can say is it's kind of awkward for me when I spend christmas eve with my dad's side of the family. I feel weirdly disconnected from all of them despite the fact that they are my blood kin and I have been around all of them since birth. I love them and they are nice enough but I don't feel a whole lot of warmth from them, they are just a strange family. I enjoy spending time with them but I feel more at home when i'm spending time with my mom's side of the family on christmas day. IP: Logged |
sweet-scorpion
Moderator Posts: 2338
From: CO, USA
Registered: Apr 2012
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posted December 10, 2014 07:48 PM
quote:
Originally posted by charlie:
I don't struggle with holidays except the fact I just want to wake up to 2015...I find most traditional celebrations rather fake and exhausting.
I understand. I like the holidays, but I don't like the 'fake' aspects that come with it. I think it's because I have some Saturnine qualities to my chart, especially with my Mercury, and the kind of fake 'presentation' I have to put on, especially in the way I communicate with people at Christmas, can make me feel really annoyed. I've always struggled with being excited, lol... that's Mercury-Saturn for ya. And being excited is kind of expected of you on Xmas and Xmas eve, or to at least be happy. But just because I'm not outwardly showing it doesn't mean I'm unhappy. IP: Logged |
sweet-scorpion
Moderator Posts: 2338
From: CO, USA
Registered: Apr 2012
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posted December 10, 2014 07:49 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Padre35:
My stress is different..instead of all of the pressure..everyone..is gone..even the dog
INOW..either go out n about or dwell or perhaps eat a homeless shelter..not sure
I'm sorry to hear this. 
Do you have any close friends you can spend some time with over the holidays? Even though the holidays can be difficult, they're never good to spend alone... even if you don't have anyone right now, you should seek out some company. The idea of you going to a shelter makes me sad. Unless you want to volunteer there for Xmas and Xmas eve, but that is still a little sad [though wonderfully generous and applaudable]. IP: Logged |
sweet-scorpion
Moderator Posts: 2338
From: CO, USA
Registered: Apr 2012
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posted December 10, 2014 07:53 PM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Interestingly enough I can't really complain about my family's holiday get-togethers.Which is odd considering both sides of my family are dysfunctional and there's plenty of drama there but thankfully they usually don't let it spill over into our holiday festivities. We generally all get together ,despite our differences at the time,and have fun. The only bad thing I can say is it's kind of awkward for me when I spend christmas eve with my dad's side of the family. I feel weirdly disconnected from all of them despite the fact that they are my blood kin and I have been around all of them since birth. I love them and they are nice enough but I don't feel a whole lot of warmth from them, they are just a strange family. I enjoy spending time with them but I feel more at home when i'm spending time with my mom's side of the family on christmas day.
I can relate to your struggle. Sometimes I feel alienated from my blood kin too, some immediate family members whom I really used to be close to, it's quite sad. I'm not sure what went wrong, it's like a rift has grown between us for no reason, though it's apparent both sides are trying to patch this up [I'm doing my best to just forgive them for being so distant and strange because of what I suspect is an unhappiness with their own lives and taking it out on the rest of us]. I hope that you have the chance to spend Xmas eve with your mom's side instead of your dad's. It's never a nice thing to feel awkward and coolheaded on a holiday instead of warm and joyful. Like you described about some of your family, mine is the same. We have a boatload of issues but we're usually able to enjoy the holidays anyway. I've never spent one holiday with my father, because he was uninvolved, but I imagine if I had as he wanted me to about 3 years ago [I politely declined] I would have felt the same as you, alienated and awkward, like everything was way too cold for a holiday. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 58822
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted December 10, 2014 07:59 PM
Padre ------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
12muddy
Knowflake Posts: 2119
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted December 11, 2014 03:07 PM
It sucks. It's the holidays everyone should be able to have an easy, relaxing time. But nah, for a lot of people I know (and for me too) amily gatherings are such a drag. Ideally I liked to spend my holidays with my s.o only. Ya know, more quality couple's time and all that. But nah, we always had to shop for gifts and I had to cook something to bring to my in-laws' place. Hell, and his family members... I gotta stop myself before I spend the next few hours venting about them. But this year things have changed lol we've moved far far away so this year we'll have all the time in the world for each other. YAY. IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Moderator Posts: 5691
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted December 13, 2014 11:46 PM
For anyone frustrated about holiday finances and/or Christmas songs played ad nauseum, here's the Crypt Keeper warping Jingle Bells into a song all too many can relate to easier called Juggle Bills:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bffi-P8p04 IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 47587
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 14, 2014 12:52 PM
No stress here. IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 7045
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted December 15, 2014 08:17 AM
I'm trying to save my son's life.How's that for stress? IP: Logged |
sweet-scorpion
Moderator Posts: 2338
From: CO, USA
Registered: Apr 2012
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posted December 15, 2014 01:22 PM
quote:
Originally posted by 12muddy:
It sucks. It's the holidays everyone should be able to have an easy, relaxing time. But nah, for a lot of people I know (and for me too) amily gatherings are such a drag. Ideally I liked to spend my holidays with my s.o only. Ya know, more quality couple's time and all that. But nah, we always had to shop for gifts and I had to cook something to bring to my in-laws' place. Hell, and his family members... I gotta stop myself before I spend the next few hours venting about them. But this year things have changed lol we've moved far far away so this year we'll have all the time in the world for each other. YAY.
I feel ya. I'm an S.O. person as well, looking forward to next holiday season when we can be together. I really do like some aspects of the holiday season, but others are draining and stressful, mainly if you're alone. As a Libra, I like doing things in pairs. I would feel better dealing with the stress if my S.O. could be by my side. Sorry that the in-laws are tough  But, I'm glad to know that you two have relocated and can enjoy the holiday alone, together! quote:
Originally posted by PixieJane:
For anyone frustrated about holiday finances and/or Christmas songs played ad nauseum, here's the Crypt Keeper warping Jingle Bells into a song all too many can relate to easier called Juggle Bills:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bffi-P8p04
LOL this is perfect. Nice link.  IP: Logged |
sweet-scorpion
Moderator Posts: 2338
From: CO, USA
Registered: Apr 2012
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posted December 15, 2014 01:23 PM
quote:
Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
I'm trying to save my son's life.How's that for stress?
I'm really sorry to know you're going through such a crisis. I hope you and your son will be OK. I'm sending good vibes and my best wishes in your direction.
IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Moderator Posts: 9129
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted December 15, 2014 07:31 PM
quote:
Originally posted by sweet-scorpion:
@hanna I'm sorry you don't have fun holidays /hugs/ Your mom sounds a lot like my mom. She's a hypochrondriac, but she also has an abundance of other issues that make her extremely high strung at the holidays. I'm sure other people go through the same challenges as we do at the holidays, so I try not to feel bad about it! Have you ever had a 'friendsgiving' and/or a Christmas celebration with friends? I think 'friendsgivings' are more fun for me than traditional Thanksgivings, since a lot of my relatives take the fun out of it by being disruptive, rude or drunk during the holidays and this worsens my anxiety. I can see you having a really nice time doing a friendsgiving. It's nice to be with friends since you can do what you want, eat and drink what you want, and feel relaxed. Especially in your case, doing a friendsgiving next year could let you go all out and have an awesome, festive pot luck before having to go back home!
I'd never thought of it (because I just started living on my own about a year and some change ago) but this last Thanksgiving was my first on my own and one of my friends held a Friendsgiving! I was like "YAY I'm an adult now,"  but yeah it was much more relaxing and fun and I was SO relieved. IP: Logged |
ikja
Knowflake Posts: 306
From: London, UK
Registered: Oct 2014
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posted December 15, 2014 08:12 PM
I've always hated Christmas for as long as I can remember. I always feel like the odd one out when I say that. People assume you're evil, I just don't like this time of year.IP: Logged |
sweet-scorpion
Moderator Posts: 2338
From: CO, USA
Registered: Apr 2012
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posted December 16, 2014 01:32 AM
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
I'd never thought of it (because I just started living on my own about a year and some change ago) but this last Thanksgiving was my first on my own and one of my friends held a Friendsgiving! I was like "YAY I'm an adult now," but yeah it was much more relaxing and fun and I was SO relieved.
So glad you had the chance to do a friendsgiving. I want to do that next year. They are fun! Holidays should be as relaxing as possible - they're time to set aside for togetherness and a break from the duties of the outside world, IMO. So it does disappoint me when people have petty arguments and I can't console them or keep the peace during the holiday season... there's that pesky Libra again. LOL. Though it isn't as bad now that my progressed Sun is in 0.00 dg. Scorpio. 
IP: Logged |
sweet-scorpion
Moderator Posts: 2338
From: CO, USA
Registered: Apr 2012
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posted December 16, 2014 01:34 AM
quote:
Originally posted by ikja:
I've always hated Christmas for as long as I can remember. I always feel like the odd one out when I say that. People assume you're evil, I just don't like this time of year.
You know, there is that odd 'evil scrooge' stigma that does seem to come with a feeling of neutrality or dislike of the holidays, particularly Christmas. I think, typically, the stigma and disapproval comes from surrounding friends and family who want classic togetherness or a desire to keep up traditions. My theory: as humans, we crave bonds and traditions, and when someone steps outside the norm and defies tradition, this person may be seen as threatening or upsetting. Thus, someone in a family setting who openly says 'I dislike Christmas [or fill in the blank]' may be frowned upon because the rest of the family wants everyone to feel together and 'bonded' by celebrating the holiday as a collective. Tradition is equated with security, and nonconformity is an indirect threat to this sense of security. Same thing with friends and work settings. Humans crave a certain degree of conformity in order to feel grounded and 'whole' in a crazy, chaotic world. Having some sort of common 'link' and continuity throughout one's life allows one to feel that one has a certain degree of control over one's own existence. This, of course, is entirely relative to an individual's belief system and personal experience, but this seems to be the case for most people, in theory. So when a member of a friend group or office decides to play 'black sheep' by being the 'scrooge' who skips out on holiday parties and points out the negatives of Christmas [like how capitalist corporations profit from traditions and celebrations, for example], this person is, once again, seen as negative, even as a threat to the happiness of the collective. IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Moderator Posts: 5691
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted December 16, 2014 02:39 AM
Don't forget the families getting together while often especially worried about bills (among other things) and other added responsbilities, and then adding alcohol to all of that (and then there's the drunk driving sometimes combined with road rage due to the drama that may have inspired them to peel out of there drunk). On top of that is keeping up with the neighbors for some people (with the decorations and such), forced office parties and possibly lay offs so some people at the top can keep a strong Christmas bonus, and an increase in scams and thefts (not just burglars and such but also pickpockets and purse snatchers, and then you have to deal with all the cards and IDs you probably just lost). Some might actually be conditioned to feel guilty for not placing money into the cans when someone rings a bell by the store. All in all I'm not surprised both the murder and suicide rate spike in the holiday season. I understand many cops hate the holidays for that reason. Note, not saying I hate the holidays but I can understand why others do. I know if I spent them with my family in Texas it would be incredibly dramatic and potentially violent (and then there'd be the drunks on the road and the cops looking for them). IP: Logged |
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