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Author Topic:   Hard To Accept That Some People Are Truly Hopeless
Ami Anne
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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted December 19, 2014 04:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I know I have been struggling with the same thing for 7 years. I just think IF ONLY I could do something, my mother would change.

My son, as I told you, works with someone just like my mother. He became really tormented by this woman and someone finally understood what I went through.

Today, I talked to a really close, real life friend. His wife is exactly like this.

I have to ACCEPT that my mother will never change but it is really, really hard.

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ariestaurus
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posted December 19, 2014 05:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ariestaurus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yup I too feel you need to accept it and move forward. No point dragging yourself down. Do u have Virgo/6th house influences?

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Barbiegirl19
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From: Pluto with DeepFreeze
Registered: Jul 2013

posted December 19, 2014 05:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Barbiegirl19     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It is extremely but you have to do. It'll eat you up and drive you crazy until you do.

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Ami Anne
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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted December 19, 2014 05:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ariestaurus:
Yup I too feel you need to accept it and move forward. No point dragging yourself down. Do u have Virgo/6th house influences?


Nothing in the 6th or Virgo. Why do you ask, A?

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Ami Anne
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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
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posted December 19, 2014 05:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Barbiegirl19:
It is extremely but you have to do. It'll eat you up and drive you crazy until you do.

I will be honest. I have been obsessed with this since I was 14. I just could not figure it out and I tried and tried and tried and all these years later, I am doing the same thing

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Barbiegirl19
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posted December 19, 2014 05:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Barbiegirl19     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It's okay, I was the same until I accepted it for what it was.

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Ami Anne
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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted December 19, 2014 05:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Barbiegirl19:
It's okay, I was the same until I accepted it for what it was.

YES, how did you come to do so? Do you still have contact with them? If so, what is the nature of it? Stilted? Friendly?

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Ami Anne
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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
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posted December 20, 2014 06:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks for letting me talk again on the same topic. Love you all

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ungumuda
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posted December 21, 2014 08:01 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ungumuda     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It's not that your mother can't change, it's that YOU can't make her change to be someone you wish. No one can't change or control what other people think, unless the person himself want to change. We need to accept that and simply let go. But nothing is simple in the practice of letting go. You can't wake up one day, decide it's time to let go and magically all your problems and hurts all go away. Letting go is everyday practice, naturally sometimes you slip up, it's okay, then you can raise up again and keep practicing

On other note, I wonder if you and your son have personal planet on libra on seventh house placement?

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Ami Anne
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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
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posted December 21, 2014 08:20 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks UNG

I am a Libra ASC. He is a Libra venus.

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ungumuda
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posted December 21, 2014 09:02 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ungumuda     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Thanks UNG

I am a Libra ASC. He is a Libra venus.


So it may be libra thing. Libran love to be connected with other people, and when she at odds with someone, it could be very distressing. I'm libra moon and I was pretty much like that, sometimes still am.
Anyway since I learn more about my libra moon, I learn to accept the fact that I want to be liked, I like to be get along with everyone. It's part of who I am. But when I feel insecure if someone hate me or something like that, I told myself "honey that just your libra moon acting up, chillax"
That is how I let go my insecurities, by accepting my flaw as part of me and not be ashamed of it.
I hope it can help you Ami Anne. I went through depressing state for quite some times, and it felt like I was merely existing. I hope you can find way to heal yourself and be your true beautiful self *hug*

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Ami Anne
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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
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posted December 21, 2014 10:57 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you, Ung. YOU are a beautiful person, too!

For me, talking about something really helps me to let it go. For this thing, I have been talking about it for 7 years but I am making snail's progress

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Odette
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posted December 24, 2014 05:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Odette     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I completely agree. Some are hopeless. It's hard to
accept - but accept it you must, to move on.
At the end of the day it's "each to their own", and you have your own life to live. Always put yourself first.

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Odette
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posted December 24, 2014 05:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Odette     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ungumuda:
It's not that your mother can't change

How do you know though?
Some mental illnesses are incurable, so it may well be that she actually cannot change.

quote:
It's that YOU can't make her change to be someone you wish

I think this ^ would be a comforting thought when dealing with a mentally sane person who you simply don't get along with.

But if you are dealing with someone who suffers from NPD for example, then no one can make this person change to fit in with our standards of "sanity" and what the majority of us view as "normal" behaviour. The person suffering from NPD will always lack the ability to empathise and hence, they will engage in behaviour many would find hurtful.

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Ami Anne
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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
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posted December 24, 2014 05:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have so much admiration for you, Odette. You are so clear thinking in places in which I am fogged.

I wrote a series of article on depression. I put one up on here and may put the others if people want but YOU will see my evolution in this and that my insight is what you said but the pain in getting there has been really immense.

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Padre35
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From: Asheville, NC, US
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posted December 26, 2014 02:10 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Padre35     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

May be cynical, or practical either way.

I tend to doubt people will change very much at their core so I rarely ever fall into the "if only" trap.

Simply accept them for who they are as shown by their actions and move along or work with it if needed.

NOW that does not work in romantic relationships..one likes what you like in a person romantically and there should be no deviations. Family and Friends are a very different matter.

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Barbiegirl19
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From: Pluto with DeepFreeze
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posted December 26, 2014 07:14 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Barbiegirl19     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
^Good points, Padre.

quote:
Originally posted by Odette:
I completely agree. Some are hopeless. It's hard to
accept - but accept it you must, to move on.
At the end of the day it's "each to their own", and you have your own life to live. Always put yourself first.

It's just sad when you sit and really think about it. So many live through other people, need validating from other people. Its a sad, sad world we live in.

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Ami Anne
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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted December 26, 2014 07:49 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Padre35:

May be cynical, or practical either way.

I tend to doubt people will change very much at their core so I rarely ever fall into the "if only" trap.

Simply accept them for who they are as shown by their actions and move along or work with it if needed.

NOW that does not work in romantic relationships..one likes what you like in a person romantically and there should be no deviations. Family and Friends are a very different matter.



Well said, Padre dear. I have been thinking about you on this holiday season, my Friend.

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