Author
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Topic: When love really don't love you...
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Jo B Knowflake Posts: 795 From: London, UK with myself Registered: Feb 2014
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posted June 21, 2015 12:22 PM
How do you deal with it when your love for someone isn't reciprocated?1 - Do you shrug it off and accept it, his/her loss, not mine! 2 - Do you shrug it off, but your ego is a bit bruised. 3 - Do you shrug it off, but start scheming about how to change their mind. 4 - Do you NOT shrug it off, and secretly plan their demise. 5 - Do you NOT shrug it off, and plan your OWN demise. I'm normally No. 2. Although a couple of times I've considered No. 4. Depends how much of a jerk they were. That's my stupid topic for today. I'm off to do something more constructive now. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-pgJByML5xY&list=RD-pgJByML5xY#t=7 IP: Logged |
Eirlys Knowflake Posts: 408 From: Atlantic Coast Registered: May 2013
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posted June 21, 2015 12:46 PM
Um... shrug it off and look spectacular doing so?...
I'm Leo/Pisces-- I try to put as much distance between myself and heartbreak as I can. And I don't think it's a stupid question-- some people conspire
to get their man/woman... and sometimes, they pull it off. For me, looking stupid only adds insult to injury, so I avoid
it like the plague (though not always successfully). ------------------ Nothing that you have not given away will ever be really yours. -- cs lewis IP: Logged |
Jo B Knowflake Posts: 795 From: London, UK with myself Registered: Feb 2014
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posted June 21, 2015 12:57 PM
Phew, someone replied, I was just about to ask a mod to ban me for posting topics that could easily be put in the "assinine drivel" file. quote: Originally posted by Eirlys: some people conspire to get their man/woman... and sometimes, they pull it off.
Yeah they do Eirlys. I'm just too lazy to do that. Although I might find the energy to enact vengeance if they did me wrong. mwuahahahaha!
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hannaramaa Moderator Posts: 10078 From: Registered: Nov 2011
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posted June 21, 2015 01:08 PM
1 and 2, sometimes 3 but I can't think of a time I was ever rejected first. I normally reject them, change my mind, and get rejected. It's a very weird cycle.IP: Logged |
Valentine Knowflake Posts: 166 From: Canada Registered: Dec 2014
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posted June 21, 2015 01:29 PM
I pick #1.IP: Logged |
12muddy Knowflake Posts: 2207 From: Registered: Feb 2013
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posted June 21, 2015 02:49 PM
In the past when that happened I was sad/devastated. Not because of bruised ego, but because of broken dreams lol I tend to fantasize about my objects of affection and weave all kind of dreams. So it hurt when I realized that those dreams couldn't come true. Eventually I let it go. Not in a nonchalant way - like shrugging it off. Istill have some sort of lingering non-romantic affection for them. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 11419 From: Wankety Wankerson Registered: Jan 2012
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posted June 21, 2015 10:17 PM
2 or 1IP: Logged |
CosmiqPhuz Knowflake Posts: 131 From: Lititz, PA, USA Registered: Jan 2014
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posted June 21, 2015 11:17 PM
When I was younger, I probably would have kept chasing and fight for them. Every past heartbreak was like being punched in the face. It hurt really bad. But after awhile, the punching didn't hurt as much, the nerves start to get damaged, my face gets numb, etc. Now, if someone doesn't want to be with me, I'm not gonna sit there and try to convince them to be with me. Just let them go. IP: Logged |
ikja Knowflake Posts: 1456 From: London, UK (GMT - 5 hours ahead) Registered: Oct 2014
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posted June 22, 2015 02:42 PM
When I was a young girl - #3 and perhaps #2. Now I'm older, wiser and fighting my natal Pluto opposit Venus... I would say #2 and growing steadily #1IP: Logged |
Odette Moderator Posts: 5701 From: Registered: May 2012
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posted June 22, 2015 08:15 PM
It takes me too long to fall in love with someone. By the time I feel in love - we are already extra close. So I don't know... It's hard for me to answer, because I'm usually very sure of my own feelings and the other person's feelings before things become romantic between us.I don't honestly feel like I can truly love someone who does not love me. Is that selfish? I don't know. I guess my ability to feel love is very conditional (Capricorn Moon). If I feel like the person cares and treats me nicely.. it makes me love them all the more. When I get vibes that tell me I'm not their type or they seem disinterested - I have no real desire to hang out with them. Maybe this is complicated by the fact that I don't experience sexual attraction at all (being asexual). People are most often rejected in the beginning stages of "something" when they are attracted and the other person is not. The main way I could be rejected is if I fell in love with a friend, and they didn't want anything more than a friendship. I wouldn't be very hurt in this case, since sex means less than nothing to me anyway. So it wouldn't be the end of the world, if we simply stayed friends. I would be able to move on and shrug it off. IP: Logged |
Odette Moderator Posts: 5701 From: Registered: May 2012
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posted June 22, 2015 08:24 PM
Oh.. Actually.... There is *one* particular type of behaviour that has angered me in the past. I was in situations where a guy was all over me and seemingly very attracted. I felt sorry for him (because being asexual I feel nothing). So, I didn't want to reject him.. and I tried my best to flirt back and be "nice". I actually made an effort out of sheer pity.. (This is called having too much Neptune influence!)After making such an effort to pretend the guy is likeable, and not hurt his feelings.... I find out that actually he has self-esteem issues and he just wanted to "know" whether I would find him attractive. Although he apparently had no genuine interest. ^ I guess people refer to this type as a player... and many women get upset by this kind of behaviour because they can end up falling for someone who is actually disinterested (and is simply on a quest to see how many women he can attract). Being asexual I had zero romantic and sexual feelings towards the guy in question... but it still made me feel like I wasted my time trying to be 'nice' and not reject him - when all the while he was doing this for an ego boost (not because he truly liked me). Unfortunately, I've had this exact thing happen ^ at least a dozen times in my youth - before I started to be completely honest - and outright reject people as soon as they approached me romantically. Being asexual I realised someone who approaches me in this way, will never be able to understand me anyway... so what's the point in pretending? Whether they are a genuine person with genuine interest, or a player.. they are still better off knowing the truth - that I am not sexually interested *sigh* :edit: To answer the OP... when this did happen.. I didn't shrug it off, at the time. I was very upset and angered by the fact that I invested all that energy in faking interest to spare some idiot's feelings (when he was actually a complete a-hole). IP: Logged |
Eirlys Knowflake Posts: 408 From: Atlantic Coast Registered: May 2013
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posted June 23, 2015 02:23 AM
quote: Originally posted by Odette: I don't honestly feel like I can truly love someone who does not love me. Is that selfish? I don't know. I guess my ability to feel love is very conditional (Capricorn Moon). If I feel like the person cares and treats me nicely.. it makes me love them all the more. When I get vibes that tell me I'm not their type or they seem disinterested - I have no real desire to hang out with them.
I don't know if that was a rhetorical question, or not, but it doesn't sound selfish to me. Self-preservation, on autopilot-- no endless pining over someone who doesn't care for you. CapLife
------------------ Nothing that you have not given away will ever be really yours. -- cs lewis IP: Logged |
fenia Knowflake Posts: 200 From: Registered: Sep 2010
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posted June 23, 2015 08:12 PM
quote: Originally posted by Jo B: How do you deal with it when your love for someone isn't reciprocated?1 - Do you shrug it off and accept it, his/her loss, not mine! 2 - Do you shrug it off, but your ego is a bit bruised. 3 - Do you shrug it off, but start scheming about how to change their mind. 4 - Do you NOT shrug it off, and secretly plan their demise. 5 - Do you NOT shrug it off, and plan your OWN demise. I'm normally No. 2. Although a couple of times I've considered No. 4. Depends how much of a jerk they were. That's my stupid topic for today. I'm off to do something more constructive now. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-pgJByML5xY&list=RD-pgJByML5xY#t=7
I've done 3. and 2. trying to become 1. though xD ------------------ Libra sun Aquarius asc Virgo moon Sag venus Cappy mars IP: Logged |
DopGang Knowflake Posts: 66 From: Registered: Jun 2015
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posted June 23, 2015 08:28 PM
I wouldn't know. They have always loved me. LOLKidding.... I've done all five. I've settled on number one now, possibly number two depending on the details.
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