posted July 06, 2015 11:34 PM            

I was thinking about this today and also how I've been here for over a decade and I am nothing like the person I was when i joined. Well, in certain ways I still am, but I've grown a lot. If there is an age range in which someone probably changes the most, i'd have to say it's in their 20's (usually). I really thought i knew it all back then.

I wonder now, what another 10 years will do? I'm looking forward to my 50's and 60's.

Any meandering thoughts are welcome.

posted July 07, 2015 02:25 AM            

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Originally posted by GemBird82:
To this ===>

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^^ Bahahaha

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Looking back on your life, your self.....how much have you changed? In what ways?

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I changed a lot! I can't even begin to express how much.
I might come back and write a longer post on this. I love the question by the way!👍🏼

I joined as a teen. When I see old posts I cringe lollll
I remember I used to chat on ICQ in HS (before FB became popular). Because of the ICQ influence, I was l33t-ing in some of my LL posts and using abbreviations. Oh.. I could just slap myself!

posted July 07, 2015 06:51 AM            

Well, the last decade encompasses my whole twenties which is always a period of tremendous growth, for most people.

When I look at who I was when I was 19, I didn't have a lot of hope. I waa miserable inant ways though I hid it behind a big, magnanimous smile. Much of the time I was envious of the time and felt like a victim. In some ways I reall. was. At 19 I still lived with my mom who was physically and psychologically abusive, the first place I lived after fleeing was a battered woman's shelter.

So many things were so uncertain at that time.

posted July 07, 2015 11:17 AM            

Be back later to read and reply.

posted July 07, 2015 03:46 PM            

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
Way too many ways and I just can't predict what future changes await.

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Same here.

teasel,

" I'm more confident in ways - maybe I should say "outspoken" and bold, instead of confident."

I can see that with you over the years on the forum even. I think it's a good thing.

Something i notice about myself as i get older is I'm less of a people-pleaser and no longer say 'yes' or "okay" when i want to say no. I'm respecting myself, my time and energy more and if people don't like it, they can jog on. lol

The last 5 years especially have been full of major changes in my life too. Some good, some bad, but ultimately for the greatest good in the long run i think.

i thought this was funny:

Things that mattered in my 20's have lost most of their importance in my 30's. I've always been fairly comfortable in my own skin, but even moreso now and it's a good feeling. I rarely wear make-up or jewelry anymore, i dress in loose-fitting oversized clothes and don't spend much time in front of a mirror. I don't remember the last time I went clothes shopping. It's all about comfort now and not style and i am happier this way A side benefit is getting almost no unwanted attention anymore.

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I haven't been sick for a couple of days...

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glad to hear it

posted July 07, 2015 04:05 PM            

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Originally posted by Odette:
I changed a lot! I can't even begin to express how much.
I might come back and write a longer post on this. I love the question by the way!👍🏼

I joined as a teen. When I see old posts I cringe lollll
I remember I used to chat on ICQ in HS (before FB became popular). Because of the ICQ influence, I was l33t-ing in some of my LL posts and using abbreviations. Oh.. I could just slap myself!

But it's pretty funny in a sense. It's like coming across an old diary.

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LOL Most of mine are cringe-worthy too. I try at all costs not to ever read them. Heck, even the new ones can be cringe-worthy.

posted July 07, 2015 04:09 PM            

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Originally posted by Aquacheeka:
Wow, what a great question.

Well, the last decade encompasses my whole twenties which is always a period of tremendous growth, for most people.

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Sounds like you've been through a lot and have really pulled through.

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So many things were so uncertain at that time.

I'm just really grateful to be where I'm at right now. My life is far from perfect or glamorous but I'm so grateful I've assembled a great group of friends around me (I was quite lonely from middle school all the way through college and ny friendships felt and WERE so transient), I make enough money to provide for myself, I have found the kind of love I used to dream about when I was younger. And most of all I'm not trapped in that house, in that town, in that life anymore. I am truly free. And I cherish that freedom.

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posted July 07, 2015 04:11 PM            

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Originally posted by Faith:
Great topic, T. Thanks!

Be back later to read and reply.

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posted July 08, 2015 03:06 AM            

Considering I was a teenager 10 years ago, luckily a lot. Funnily enough, as a Cap stellium I was very quiet and subdued, always worried about saying and doing the right thing. Very, very shy- giving class presentations was the worst nightmare to me. I've had the Pluto in 1st transit, so the changes over the past 4 years have been dramatic enough. I lacked confidence, and was almost afraid of being successful and happy.

10 years later- guess who gives public speeches and teaches? Wouldn't have guessed me, that is for sure. Not only that, but now I am very outgoing and more laid back about life- it is way too short to worry about saying and doing the right thing. I was way too passive, especially when it came to defending myself and others. Now I will not hesitate to stand up for what I believe in, because you really will fall for anything if you sit back and be passive.

posted July 08, 2015 07:27 AM            

Confidence took a big boost!
I'm much more outspoken. I'm more able to stand completely alone if needed.
I feel like I have better judgement of what's worth my time and what isn't.

posted July 08, 2015 09:39 AM            

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Originally posted by BellaFenice:
Amazing topic T, but then again, you always deliver so I am not surprised by this.

Considering I was a teenager 10 years ago, luckily a lot. Funnily enough, as a Cap stellium I was very quiet and subdued, always worried about saying and doing the right thing. Very, very shy- giving class presentations was the worst nightmare to me. I've had the Pluto in 1st transit, so the changes over the past 4 years have been dramatic enough. I lacked confidence, and was almost afraid of being successful and happy.

10 years later- guess who gives public speeches and teaches? Wouldn't have guessed me, that is for sure. Not only that, but now I am very outgoing and more laid back about life- it is way too short to worry about saying and doing the right thing. I was way too passive, especially when it came to defending myself and others. Now I will not hesitate to stand up for what I believe in, because you really will fall for anything if you sit back and be passive.

My life is far from perfect now, and I certainly have a long way to go. But, I wouldn't change it for the world because my experiences have shaped who I am. And like all Cap stelliums, we get better with age, so I am looking forward to getting older.

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posted July 08, 2015 09:41 AM            

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Originally posted by T:

btw I really enjoy reading your posts here.

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Thank you! Also, LOL @ that picture 'the first 40 years of childhood '

posted July 08, 2015 03:23 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by BellaFenice:

Considering I was a teenager 10 years ago, luckily a lot. Funnily enough, as a Cap stellium I was very quiet and subdued, always worried about saying and doing the right thing. Very, very shy- giving class presentations was the worst nightmare to me. I've had the Pluto in 1st transit, so the changes over the past 4 years have been dramatic enough. I lacked confidence, and was almost afraid of being successful and happy.

10 years later- guess who gives public speeches and teaches? Wouldn't have guessed me, that is for sure. Not only that, but now I am very outgoing and more laid back about life- it is way too short to worry about saying and doing the right thing.

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Sounds just like me as a kid and early teen. I'd choose to take an F or zero instead of getting up in front of the class. Public speaking is not for everyone and thankfully I don't need to do it in my life. Having been just like you early on, i think your transformation is a huge accomplishment and something you should be proud of.

Just the little I've gotten to know you here, I know that you are extremely intelligent and have so many important ideas, opinions etc. to share with people, that it would be a shame if you never grew out of that fear.

Yes, as i get older i also am not as concerned with saying or doing 'the right thing', or concerning myself with what others think that might be.

This has reminded me of a couple of good quotes. Will see if i can find them later.

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I was way too passive, especially when it came to defending myself and others. Now I will not hesitate to stand up for what I believe in, because you really will fall for anything if you sit back and be passive.

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Good advice. I probably still don't do that as much as i should.

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My life is far from perfect now, and I certainly have a long way to go. But, I wouldn't change it for the world because my experiences have shaped who I am. And like all Cap stelliums, we get better with age, so I am looking forward to getting older.

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Well said! Same here. And my Cap rising agrees with you and think the best is yet to come.

I remember at times in my teens and 20's thinking I wish i could stop time and stay at that point forever. Getting older seemed a bit depressing. Now you could not pay me enough to go back to those times. I imagine i'll be saying the same thing once again down the road...

posted July 08, 2015 03:33 PM            

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Originally posted by DopGang:
I agree with others.

Confidence took a big boost!
I'm much more outspoken. I'm more able to stand completely alone if needed.
I feel like I have better judgement of what's worth my time and what isn't.

I do however feel like my body is giving up on me. I should say that I am well aware that I'm not a spring chicken anymore. LOL Giving up sounds terminal.

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Yes, to all of that.

My body is also feeling a whole lot different. It's forced me to slow down in certain ways, which has been a good thing.

posted July 08, 2015 03:36 PM            

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Originally posted by Aquacheeka:

Thank you! Also, LOL @ that picture 'the first 40 years of childhood '

You've made the 30's sound wonderful, rather than daunting Looking forward to seeing what the next decade of life has to offer.

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posted July 08, 2015 10:39 PM            

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Originally posted by teasel:
I think I'm on a sugar high from the juice - I was cranky before I made it. Feels good, though.

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posted July 08, 2015 11:42 PM            

It's hard to write an overview when so many scattered things have been going on.

The more I think of it, the more depressed I get about certain things, and I'm trying to shove those things aside and concentrate on the positives. Um....

Well here is something.

I started making some odd decisions just for myself. Decisions that are not copycat in any way, just random things I'll do because I want to, with no outside justification.

Like I made it a goal to never sit in a room and hear someone say, "You have cancer." My mother, father, and brother had all had cancer when I was 10-30, which set me up for hypochondria in my 20's. I was so obsessed with that fear, of hearing those words, I had to figure out a way to deal with it. My way was, to grit my teeth and never go to the doctor, resolving that I would rather die than deal with the cancer industry again. It's not, perhaps, the bravest way, the smartest way...whatever...it was all I could do at the time.

And I don't regret it or apologize.

It was the first kind of strange, "I'm just going to do what's right for ME, not anyone else" resolution I recall ever making. And that has lead to others.

Some other decisions that have been harder and required more courage and tenacity-- and are not comfortable-- but they give me some peace, enough peace to make it day to day without too much anxiety. (Even dealing with anxiety by shutting my mind off and ignoring my thoughts, that's one of my "new things" in the past decade.)

So...right, to summarize...my fortune cookie slogan, earned from the past decade of experience is, "Learn what is right for YOU and do that. And be okay with it. It's the best you can do."

^^ Came from an oversized fortune cookie big enough to hold that long sentence.

posted July 09, 2015 04:35 AM            

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Originally posted by T:
I remember a long time ago, a friend of mine in his 60's said it was about his mid 30's that he started to really notice age beginning to effect his body too. I guess it's all downhill from here in that department. LOL

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Some of the 40 somethings I know told me the same thing.