posted August 16, 2015 12:19 AM            

He has natal Uranus opposite his Moon.

I met someone during the ordeal.. After the indiscretion I was distant. He put a lock on his phone. Reason for me to be even more distant and finally he was sexting someone after me being distant for about a week after the indiscretion.. I had finally had enough and pursued the love interest I met full throttle and left the other guy altogether.. He begged me not to. He cried and cried and cried and got on his knees and was broken to the core.. Much like I was when he cheated.. I've left the house and I'm not communicating with him in any way yet my mind constantly thinks about it and wonders if I should look the other way or if it was something forgiveable or not..

I have the feeling that if the shoe was on the other foot, he would've not forgiven me..

We have mutual friends and I've gone full public with my new relationship with pictures and everything and word has gotten to him.. He's drinking regularly (an issue he hadn't worked on) and has said if I left for the other guy he would just never talk to me again and disconnect.. I extended friendship and said maybe if he stopped his drinking and bad habits, down the line it could've worked maybe but he's shown no signs of that and on the contrary I think is out trying to pursue sexual interests in an attempt to numb.

All in all for me it's been 1 other person who I'm currently madly in love with and very happy with

Him: 6 or 7 inappropriate situations including two sexual encounters

posted August 16, 2015 12:50 AM            

When they get away with it, they do it again.

posted August 16, 2015 01:57 AM            

Note, this doesn't mean it isn't forgivable or that one should automatically give up (though that depends on the person) but just because you forgive doesn't make it okay, there'd be no need to forgive (or there shouldn't be) if it was okay in the first place.

But what you're describing is more complex than that. He needs to work on himself (not just his cheating) and not be so manipulative. You can't save him from himself, nor is your love going to magically transform him. He'll be miserable whether you stay with him or leave so there's no point in staying with him (I think he just wants to blame you to avoid looking at himself and maybe if you leave then he'll hit rock bottom that much faster and finally look to transform himself into something better, or at least finally find the will to crawl out of the ditch he's metaphorically laying in). And that's doubly true if you're very happy with someone else but miserable with him (he'll sense it and you may not be able to keep from lashing out because of it, and he may also be unable to keep from lashing out at you because of it).

posted August 16, 2015 07:37 AM            

I've forgiven him in my own healing process and I've been fine. I just started analyzing it and needed to bounce ideas off of other people since an outsiders point of view is always helpful. He does need to change. For his own good but you're right. If he doesn't see reason to, it's not my responsibility to stick around hoping he sees the reasons to.

Thank you.

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
Cheating is never okay because it's a betrayal of trust.

Note, this doesn't mean it isn't forgivable or that one should automatically give up (though that depends on the person) but just because you forgive doesn't make it okay, there'd be no need to forgive (or there shouldn't be) if it was okay in the first place.

But what you're describing is more complex than that. He needs to work on himself (not just his cheating) and not be so manipulative. You can't save him from himself, nor is your love going to magically transform him. He'll be miserable whether you stay with him or leave so there's no point in staying with him (I think he just wants to blame you to avoid looking at himself and maybe if you leave then he'll hit rock bottom that much faster and finally look to transform himself into something better, or at least finally find the will to crawl out of the ditch he's metaphorically laying in). And that's doubly true if you're very happy with someone else but miserable with him (he'll sense it and you may not be able to keep from lashing out because of it, and he may also be unable to keep from lashing out at you because of it).

To me it sounds like you two should've broken up before either of you had any indiscretions (you made it sound like you left him before getting with the other guy anyway). Hopefully the guy you're with now will work out better (if not then you probably need to transform as well to break the pattern).

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posted August 16, 2015 08:35 AM            

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posted August 16, 2015 08:41 AM            

Lately, I've been really happy..

Have gone through some big transformations and have cleared my life of toxic family ties. Have been living my life as i see fit and the best I can in the center of the action here which is on the beach.

How have u been?

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Welcome back, C! How has your gorgeous self been

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posted August 16, 2015 08:54 AM            

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posted August 16, 2015 06:22 PM            

It's a betrayal of trust. I have actually cheated once in a relationship years and years ago. I had never cheated before or since that one particular guy. Months after the breakup trying to understand what happened (sooo many things about that relationship were severely f**ked up) I examined our synastry more in-depth and saw that, among other karmic red flag markers, my Neptune was sitting on his south node at 0 degrees, which is supposed to be a sign that the person will lie to you.

posted August 17, 2015 04:58 PM            

His Saturn was 7 degrees away from my sun and south node.

quote:

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Originally posted by Aquacheeka:
To me, cheating is a sign of bad karma between two individuals. If someone cheats and you find out about it, end the toxic, karmic relationship right away.

It's a betrayal of trust. I have actually cheated once in a relationship years and years ago. I had never cheated before or since that one particular guy. Months after the breakup trying to understand what happened (sooo many things about that relationship were severely f**ked up) I examined our synastry more in-depth and saw that, among other karmic red flag markers, my Neptune was sitting on his south node at 0 degrees, which is supposed to be a sign that the person will lie to you.

Long story short, no it's never OK and it's a sign you're in a dysfunctional relationship that needs to end.

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