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Author
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Topic: Watching Porn in Relationships
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C1ND3R
Knowflake Posts: 1519
From: Dorsia
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted August 19, 2015 01:41 AM
  
Hey, guys.. What's your take on watching porno while you're in a relationship? Does it affect you? Does it bother you? Are you ok with it? What's your take on it?IP: Logged |
ReadingTheStars95
Knowflake Posts: 648
From:
Registered: Jun 2014
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posted August 19, 2015 02:23 AM
I guess it depends on the kind of relationship we have going on...? Hahaha..Honestly, if I was in a relationship, and my significant other watched it from time to time, I don't think I'd mind. Personally though, when I'm in a relationship, I usually don't really have that desire, myself. Now, if it was ALL the time, I might be bothered by it.. But, yeah.. If it was occasional I don't think it would bother me much. IP: Logged |
bansheequeen
Knowflake Posts: 1177
From: Beachville, USA
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 19, 2015 03:07 AM
I am not ok with it. It's watching other people have sex. And a lot of it is just like girls exposing themselves. So the real question is, do I want my significant other to be into watching another couple have sex? No. Do I want him to desire another woman, even if she is just a fantasy. No.In my eyes, if you love someone enough then you wont really want to watch porn or fantasize about others. Im not really interested in having a relationship where the guy isn't all about me. IP: Logged |
eyes_like_pisces
Knowflake Posts: 383
From: mpls, mn, usa
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted August 19, 2015 04:14 AM
This is a hard topic for me that seems to be growing in popularity. So far I've gone by, by ignore it and staying oblivious to a partner watching porn. Because if he does (and it seems like most guys do) it will only hurt me to know, and if the guy is into it he wont stop (maybe just watch it less). So its just asking for continual pain to find out about. I sort of feel like its wrong but i think im the minority in a sense i just hop on the bandwagon and say no its just what they do. There's just. Wide range of people out there. I myself rarely develope crushes especially not on celebrities. I have no interest in the male physique until I've gotten to know the person. But then there are people that are very attracted to other people sexually and develop hundreds of crushes. So my theory is the first category would take this to heart while the second doesnt see/grasp the harm in it. IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 5963
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted August 19, 2015 04:32 AM
quote:
Originally posted by C1ND3R:
Hey, guys.. What's your take on watching porno while you're in a relationship? Does it affect you? Does it bother you? Are you ok with it? What's your take on it?
It wouldn't affect or bother me, unless it was an addiction. I think people are too removed from their own animal bodies these days... and they come up with these notions that we are above and beyond other animals and they are lesser than us.
They make the physicality of sex sound dirty or horrible.
Sometimes I genuinely wonder whether these people have a nervous breakdown every time they use the bathroom. Or maybe they do the reading thing - and they distract themselves while -you know what-. Either way, I find these princessy ideals unrealistic. But, I mean... to each their own. I'll start getting depressed if I think about it too much. IP: Logged |
ReadingTheStars95
Knowflake Posts: 648
From:
Registered: Jun 2014
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posted August 19, 2015 04:52 AM
I think I might want to come back to this in a bit to clarify what I said earlier..Also.. I think I should mention that I am demi-sexual, and pan-sexual.. So, I think that may change the way I see these things to a certain degree.. IP: Logged |
Arachne18
Knowflake Posts: 77
From:
Registered: Jan 2015
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posted August 19, 2015 05:16 AM
My hubby and I watch porn together about once a week, given the opportunity I will watch it by myself and my hubby, on the rare occasion he can, will too. I have always been fine with this and it probably stems from the fact that my Dad used to have a porn collection; magazines and videos (think Deep Throat- Linda Lovelace & Playboy's) Which my Mum was totally ok with. My hubby's Mum, on the other hand did not allow pornography in their household at all growing up so he used to get so excited when I would buy us magazines and hire videos before the advent of mainstream free Internet porn.We have different tastes in what we like watching but we compromise. Please don't quote, may edit later  IP: Logged |
bansheequeen
Knowflake Posts: 1177
From: Beachville, USA
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 19, 2015 07:11 AM
quote:
Originally posted by eyes_like_pisces:
This is a hard topic for me that seems to be growing in popularity. So far I've gone by, by ignore it and staying oblivious to a partner watching porn. Because if he does (and it seems like most guys do) it will only hurt me to know, and if the guy is into it he wont stop (maybe just watch it less). So its just asking for continual pain to find out about. I sort of feel like its wrong but i think im the minority in a sense i just hop on the bandwagon and say no its just what they do. There's just. Wide range of people out there. I myself rarely develope crushes especially not on celebrities. I have no interest in the male physique until I've gotten to know the person. But then there are people that are very attracted to other people sexually and develop hundreds of crushes. So my theory is the first category would take this to heart while the second doesnt see/grasp the harm in it.
Are you a pisces sun? I'm noticing a lot of pisces sun people would rather choose not to know something that would hurt them... I think its just a hard time to live in if youre a romantic type. IP: Logged |
bansheequeen
Knowflake Posts: 1177
From: Beachville, USA
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 19, 2015 07:15 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Odette:
It wouldn't affect or bother me, unless it was an addiction. I think people are too removed from their own animal bodies these days... and they come up with these notions that we are above and beyond other animals and they are lesser than us.
They make the physicality of sex sound dirty or horrible.
Sometimes I genuinely wonder whether these people have a nervous breakdown every time they use the bathroom. Or maybe they do the reading thing - and they distract themselves while -you know what-. Either way, I find these princessy ideals unrealistic. But, I mean... to each their own. I'll start getting depressed if I think about it too much.
Is it primal and animalistic and owning our bodies to watch other people have sex through a screen composed of different colors of light merged to form shapes in the form of people ******* ? Yeah real natural. Do dogs get horny if you show them a video of doggies going at it? Male scientists should research this so they can either validate their porn habits or if the results arent to their liking bury the study forever. Watching porn isnt really anything to do with the physicality of sex. Its as disconnected from the physicality of sex you can get. IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Moderator Posts: 6822
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted August 19, 2015 10:36 AM
About the same as partaking in the romance genre (books, movies, etc) while in a relationship. Seriously. But I don't have strong feelings about it. It would have to become a major problem before I did care about it. I personally find a lot of porn stupid (though sometimes funny, sometimes I laugh with it and other times at it), banal, and as unrealistic as most romance (though romance seems to have more exceptions than porn but that just may be because I've had more exposure to it) so I wouldn't look to it for inspiration the way I hear others do (though I suspect that it's not they're inspired by porn but "get permission" to do different things they'd be too scared to initiate on their own as they can say it was the porn rather than one's self that inspired them to do so). IP: Logged |
12muddy
Knowflake Posts: 2298
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted August 19, 2015 11:22 AM
Hmm it doesn't affect me much. My husband and I watch together sometimes. I personally like "sensual" erotic movies more than hardcore porn though. We used to watch it a lot at the beginning of our relationship - it felt a bit like two teenage "partners in crime" doing a naughty thing. It was fun. Then eventually we moved on to other games I guess. Although I will definitely have issues with it if he watches too much and somehow becomes affected to the point of having issues with sexual performance and/or unrealistic expectations. Or if he spends money to watch it lol. But so far so good. We have reasonably balanced heads on our shoulders so it remains a harmless, fun pastime. Yeah. To me it's like drinking wine. Too much of a good thing is not good. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 63895
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 19, 2015 01:05 PM
This is interesting Odette. I think you are so comfortable with bodily/primal things. I admire that in you a lot. I find that the 8th House Chiron really has a hard time with this level of comfort, as does Saturn in Scorpio, which I have. What in your chart allows you to be this way, do you think? ------------------
Want to Read Simple, Fun,Sexy Articles on Astrology? Check Me Out, DUDE.
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 11606
From: Wankety Wankerson
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 19, 2015 02:38 PM
Watching porn should be a family activity. Why can't people understand this?  IP: Logged |
athenegoddess
Knowflake Posts: 4891
From:
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted August 19, 2015 03:29 PM
All porn is evil and if you watch it are a victim to that evil so I suggest not watching it and giving it any power or excuses.Odette, we are spiritual not physical beings.. We are just in a body. If you want to live in animal consciousness that's your own choice, but don't act like that is the right thing to do. IP: Logged |
GemBird82
Knowflake Posts: 791
From: Female bird from France
Registered: Feb 2014
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posted August 19, 2015 03:30 PM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Watching porn should be a family activity. Why can't people understand this?
 ... IP: Logged |
GemBird82
Knowflake Posts: 791
From: Female bird from France
Registered: Feb 2014
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posted August 19, 2015 03:41 PM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Watching porn should be a family activity. Why can't people understand this?
Haha! you know... I have a big hunch that sooner or later someone is going to tell you to go to play some Solitaire  if that happens, use a deck that doesn't have any red queen  IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 5963
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted August 19, 2015 06:20 PM
Everything and everyone is both spiritual and physical.
This is in no way negating anything I said!There is ZERO respect for sex in our society. For the act of sex itself!
The only part of the equation that mainstream religion acknowledges is spirituality. There is no understanding for the mind-body-soul connection, or the fact that this connection is present in all animals including the cows, pigs and chicken we collectively murder and eat.
And there are no teachings to tell people that they should love and care for their bodies or show them -how to- do this. I'm not going to explain the connections between my last post and this post - because people who are liberal will understand what I am getting at... and those who are conservative can read up on these matters elsewhere.
I don't have the time to write an entire novel here, but others have already done that, so I'm sure that if you wish to educate yourself - you will find the information out there! IP: Logged |
athenegoddess
Knowflake Posts: 4891
From:
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted August 19, 2015 06:47 PM
If your mind body and soul are aligned then you should know having sex for lust and not for love is highly damaging to the soul. People who watch porn are not watching it because they are in love, they are watching it to get off.And the people who are in porn do it for the money and if not for the money because they are controlled by lust. two people who are connected to love which originates from purity don't want or need to watch such a low vibrational animalistic act. because the love they share takes them to a completely different level that can never be achieved while watching that.
And I would never be with a man who watches porn. And there is no excuse for it either.
IP: Logged |
LeeLoo2014
Knowflake Posts: 15026
From: Venus cornering Neptune
Registered: Mar 2014
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posted August 19, 2015 07:52 PM
I'm not sure porn brings respect and love for sex. Amateur, yes, if it reflects real love and passion through sex. Artistic porn, maybe (there is a not so mainstream group of female directors erotica, for instance) But professional porn is mechanic, often brutal and demeaning, and the women are faking 99% of the time. How can this encourage healthy sexuality? It can be educational to a very limited point, but beyond it, there is only a fake and degrading picture of sex. Not to mention that it is a form of prostitution, after all. ------------------
I seem to have loved you in numberless forms... AstroMandala New Profiles IP: Logged |
LeeLoo2014
Knowflake Posts: 15026
From: Venus cornering Neptune
Registered: Mar 2014
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posted August 19, 2015 08:01 PM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Watching porn should be a family activity. Why can't people understand this?
Aquaguy's happy family watching MILF and the Clown  ------------------
I seem to have loved you in numberless forms... AstroMandala New Profiles IP: Logged |
deepseablues
Knowflake Posts: 759
From: the ocean floor
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted August 19, 2015 08:03 PM
quote:
Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
Not to mention that it is a form of prostitution, after all.
A great point that is far too often overlooked! *applauding* IP: Logged |
deepseablues
Knowflake Posts: 759
From: the ocean floor
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted August 19, 2015 08:05 PM
quote:
Originally posted by C1ND3R:
Hey, guys.. What's your take on watching porno while you're in a relationship? Does it affect you? Does it bother you? Are you ok with it? What's your take on it?
I'm against it, yes it affects me greatly, yes it bothers me greatly, no I'm not ok with it, I think it's wrong! IP: Logged |
deepseablues
Knowflake Posts: 759
From: the ocean floor
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted August 19, 2015 08:09 PM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Watching porn should be a family activity. Why can't people understand this?
Can't even tell if you are joking or not? I don't really care. But you reminded me that I had a coworker who told me his mom and step dad watched porn in front of him and his siblings, and he said it was really f*cking weird and messed him up a little. True story! IP: Logged |
florence
Knowflake Posts: 1002
From:
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted August 19, 2015 08:24 PM
I wouldn't want to watch it with someone - I know of people who have done this in relationships but to me, it seems desperate - of one or both partners, of the relationship itself. Maybe some get off on the very act of watching with someone but id feel rejected / slighted even if logically it might not be that way. I do think it's good though to fantasise but I don't want to particularly be present and I think if someone else was present but not involved In watching my fantasy scenario that would mean they couldn't fulfill that. Which is probably normal it being fantasy but I wouldn't want to be around in the reverse and reminded of that fact. id see it as a very separate, individual experience. Dont understand my thoughts beyond that but my first reaction is immediately this one. Suppose I don't see sex between people and sexual gratification from porn as related acts. Therefore why mix. Probably influenced by my parents attitudes to porn too. Well, insofar as my dad had some hidden but for all I know they might have shared it. Never assumed it was that way tho. They pursued a lot of interests separately so maybe porn too IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Moderator Posts: 6822
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted August 19, 2015 09:03 PM
A guy who used to be on YT once went on on why porn was typically legal but prostitution was typically not that I thought made a lot of sense. I don't recall all the details but what it boiled down to was that fining prostitutes and johns made a lot of money for the state, a lot more than if it was legalized with all the health standards looked after, zones regulated, and such so that tax revenues were very small compared to all the fines. Porn, OTOH, was much harder to fine that way but with mass distribution of media then there was all sorts of taxes and such without having to pay into a lot of other services. That is, prostitution is more profitable to the state being illegal while porn is more profitable to the state by being legal and therefore sex for money is illegal yet recording sex for money (porn) is legal rather than being evidence of prostitution! (Contrast with say theft or genuine violent crimes being recorded which get taken as evidence even if people are willing to buy it.)One group in Prague uses that loophole as well. I forget the details but essentially guys come into some building and engage in "free prostitution" understanding there are cams about and people all over the world can pay to subscribe to watch which is internet porn because people pay to watch people having sex rather than paying to have sex and that's how everyone gets paid! (I have to grudgingly admit that's brilliant.) IP: Logged |
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