posted August 29, 2015 05:32 PM            

We've recently reconnected and have been casually talking again. We seem to have the same chemistry like back then, and we're still flirty with each other. For what it's worth, her Venus in Gemini is conjunct my Ascendant (also in my 1st house).

I guess what I wanna know is how should I go about courting/pursuing her? I want to approach the situation delicately, of course. But I also don't want to be too passive or "just friendly". I know the odds are stacked pretty high against me, but I also don't wanna wonder.

posted August 29, 2015 06:02 PM            

I'm not so much afraid of being rejected (trust me, I've been rejected a lot, I'm pretty numb to it now), but I'm more concerned about maybe upsetting/insulting/offending her. I know there's guys out there who like to try to get with lesbians to stroke their own egos, and I don't want her to think that.

posted August 29, 2015 06:22 PM            

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posted August 29, 2015 06:30 PM            

Maybe ask to go somewhere "as friends or as a date."

Generally speaking, sexual orientation isn't a straitjacket (though there's a lot of social pressure for it to be so for various reasons) and I even knew a lesbian who said she was a "gold star" (never been with a man romantically or sexually) who'd never been attracted to a man who fell head over heels for one (and only that one) in her late 20s. He wasn't the "right man" as he treated her like crap who used her and tossed her aside and the entire episode is mysterious. But it's one reason that I think "there's always a chance."

posted August 29, 2015 08:35 PM            

Maybe you have a chance. You got good advice already.

I was a "goldstar" too. Until I had a nasty breakup with a girl. And then I went to "manland" and I ain't coming back anytime soon.

posted August 29, 2015 11:59 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
I think that if you are attracted to her, it is mutual.

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Haha, thanks Ami

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
I can only speak for myself. I'm fine when a guy I'm friends with says how much he enjoys being with me but wonders if there's just maybe a chance that we might try something a bit more romantic just to see where it goes ("if it goes anywhere"). As long as it's calm, no expectations, no putting me on the spot (like in front of a someone or after having given me something special so I'd feel guilty if I said no), and no temper tantrums or sulking if I say no, then I take no offense and the friendship can be preserved. (Humor also helps, but again that's me, some find humor in such a situation as "treating it like a joke" and thus offensive.)

Maybe ask to go somewhere "as friends or as a date."

Generally speaking, sexual orientation isn't a straitjacket (though there's a lot of social pressure for it to be so for various reasons) and I even knew a lesbian who said she was a "gold star" (never been with a man romantically or sexually) who'd never been attracted to a man who fell head over heels for one (and only that one) in her late 20s. He wasn't the "right man" as he treated her like crap who used her and tossed her aside and the entire episode is mysterious. But it's one reason that I think "there's always a chance."

Just keep in mind that the odds ARE stacked against you, and don't take it personally if she rejects you that way. Also keep in mind that she won't want to hurt your feelings (which may prevent her from giving a blunt "no") and she'll take NO pleasure in rejecting you and it may make her feel as uncomfortable as it does you (maybe more so) and may need a little time for things to be "less awkward" after. In any case, if she says no, if she even just "refuses to say yes," then DROP it, don't try to change her mind.

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PixieJane, so in other words, just pursue her like I would any other woman?

Also, I attended Catholic school for 1st and 2nd grades. I remember the teacher (nun) would reward "gold star" stickers to kids who were especially well-behaved. I never got a gold star...

quote:

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Originally posted by Soltze:
A lesbian flirting with a man...hum. That's what caught my attention.

Maybe you have a chance. You got good advice already.

I was a "goldstar" too. Until I had a nasty breakup with a girl. And then I went to "manland" and I ain't coming back anytime soon.

I suppose labels are just too limiting.

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Something suspicious about a lesbian flirting with a man, Soltze? Something's making you ponder.

I understand that sexual preference can be fluid, at least in some people.

posted August 30, 2015 12:50 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by CosmiqPhuz:
Something suspicious about a lesbian flirting with a man, Soltze? Something's making you ponder.

I understand that sexual preference can be fluid, at least in some people.

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Flirting can be playful as well as serious (I believe I can tell the difference easily but I wasn't there).

posted August 30, 2015 12:50 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by CosmiqPhuz:
PixieJane, so in other words, just pursue her like I would any other woman?

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That would depend on how you pursue other women.

posted August 30, 2015 06:41 AM            

I'll never forget when I had an older lesbian women who was really into me and convinced she could turn me gay if i gave her a chance. It was really uncomfortable and she was really pushy. So glad i never went there.

Are you sure she's really a lesbian? If so, I'd give up right now and not try and cross those boundaries.

I almost find it insulting when someone wants to push something because it seem like a challenge or a way to stoke their ego (like the women who knew i was straight).

If she's a lesbian and you know she is, why even try to go there? It might ruin your friendship permanently.

posted August 30, 2015 07:07 AM            

Is is out of potential love, or serious romantic relationship or is she a challenge to you?

If a friend of mine was telling me she was pursing an unavailable man, wheather married or gay or whatever, I'd try to help her through it.

posted August 30, 2015 07:15 AM            

I agree with this!

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posted August 30, 2015 07:19 AM            

You're all gross to me.

posted August 30, 2015 07:30 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by T:
Well, I'm equally unattracted to both sexes so I guess my advice or comments won't help anyone. LOL

You're all gross to me.

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LOOL :-D :-D

posted August 30, 2015 07:33 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Soltze:
LOOL :-D :-D

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About the "lesbians aren't interested in penises part"
Then why do some have collections of fake ones in every possible colour imitating the real deal? Just sayin' hahaha
It really depends.
Just hope he keeps the thing subtle and polite, if she's not interested she will say so.
No hard feelings ;-)

posted August 30, 2015 09:23 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Soltze:
LOOL :-D :-D

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I'm happy you laughed at that too (even though it's the truth) Yuck! LOL

And regarding what else you said - I have no idea. I'm not familiar with all of that or what goes on in that kind of relationship, so I'll keep my mouth shut.

posted August 30, 2015 09:29 AM            

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posted August 30, 2015 10:23 AM            

I can usually tell whether people flirt for jokes or sincerely. Plus, for some reason, every Taurus girl I've known born in may 88 has always liked me, haha. Add to that the possibility that she may not be fully lesbian.

posted August 30, 2015 10:44 AM            

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posted August 30, 2015 11:23 AM              

quote:

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Originally posted by T:
I guess I'm old fashioned or behind the times... In my day if someone said they were gay or lesbian, you never even tried to cross that boundary. You knew they most likely didnt want what you had to offer. Why bother even flirting with them?

I'll never forget when I had an older lesbian women who was really into me and convinced she could turn me gay if i gave her a chance. It was really uncomfortable and she was really pushy. So glad i never went there.

Are you sure she's really a lesbian? If so, I'd give up right now and not try and cross those boundaries.

I almost find it insulting when someone wants to push something because it seem like a challenge or a way to stoke their ego (like the women who knew i was straight).

If she's a lesbian and you know she is, why even try to go there? It might ruin your friendship permanently.

If you know she's into women, why flirt with her or try to take it somewhere else? I guess I don't understand. If you know she's a lesbian why do you want to try and go there, as a male? Lesbians aren't usually interested in penises. Am i missing something?

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posted August 30, 2015 11:40 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Put up the chart and let's take a quick look, C

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Thanks Ami. I don't know how to post the actual picture (I gotta learn how eventually), but here are the placements.

Me: Rising - Gemini 14°
Sun - Libra 27°
Moon - Libra 7°
Mercury - Scorpio 11°
Venus - Scorpio 12°
Mars - Libra 7°
Jupiter - Aries 24°
Saturn - Sagittarius 17°
Uranus - Sagittarius 23°
Neptune - Capricorn 5°
Pluto - Scorpio 9°

Her: Rising - don't know her birth time
Sun - Taurus 13°
Moon - Sagittarius 3°
Mercury - Taurus 27°
Venus - Gemini 24°
Mars - Aquarius 17°
Jupiter - Taurus 12°
Saturn - Capricorn 2°
Uranus - Capricorn 1°
Neptune - Capricorn 10°
Pluto - Scorpio 11°

posted August 30, 2015 11:48 AM            

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