posted November 02, 2015 12:57 PM            

One Asian lady was delightful, so I invited her to come over, whenever she wanted.

So, she dropped over. My house is, always, at some level, a mess.

But, I make my own home made apple cider vinegar from apples.

I make Kombucha, which I have everywhere, in various levels of fermentation.

I have a big organic garden and fruit trees.

I have my guitar sitting out, with all it's things

She kept saying how talented I was. I wanted to look behind me because I thought she must be talking to someone else.

I see someone who is a bad housekeeper. I see someone who has screwed up her life.

I see all these flaws and I was kind of shocked when she kept saying this.

I think sexual abuse, in particular, does this to you, but all abuse probably does.

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posted November 02, 2015 03:06 PM            

And I always feel like I'm not good enough. It's not so much a low self esteem. I like myself...it's more I can't see my qualities accurately and I exaggerate the flaws.

You're right everything that messes up a person's emotional development can have consequences later.

But what counts in the end is how much we fought to improve yourselves and find our peace and happiness.

Other important thing to keep in mind is: what we see as major flaws...other might find endearing or even not see it as flaws at all.

posted November 02, 2015 03:24 PM            

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posted November 02, 2015 08:52 PM            

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posted November 02, 2015 11:28 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I have always been really hard on myself. I'm trying to change that but it's hard when you have been that way your whole life.

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I hear my mother's voice in my head.

I used to be a prisoner of it.

I just let it beat me down.

Now, due to really studying the Bible and seeing God's plan for a good life for me, I can see that voice for what it is.

I, still, am beaten down by it.

I can't say I am not, but I do see that it is something I have taken on, due to no fault of my own.

However, I used that voice on which to base my self esteem.

I could not measure up to being what she wanted.

I was, always, failing.

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posted November 03, 2015 09:10 AM            

And they have had different experiences and memories and feelings and beliefs

They are a different person.. Therefore the glasses they see you through are tinted a different shade which alters their total perception...

When I realized this most recently I felt really liberated and free

like what's gross or upsetting to me (with my sometimes high standards) may be nothing to someone else
...
Which makes me feel so much better because I'm a lot harder on myself than they are on me. We all care so much about ourselves most of the time that this is what our main focus is... I talk s lot about myself and that's why I didn't used to speak that much because I felt selfish like it was all about me 😝 Haha
But then I realized l"OH MY GOODNESS THAT IS WHAT HAVING A CONVERSATION IS ALL ABOUT"

These lies we tell ourselves XD
in other words... you shouldn't feel self conscious because not everyone knows the true story they aren't going to judge you as much as you do yourself because they don't know all of you they know from what is there in the present etc

They don't know why you made a decision.. They don't know what you were about to do before you did something...they don't know what you were thinking when you said that of if you even said it on accident

Everything's presentation to a Libra they want to make a good impression and I think that's why I judge people

People aren't meant to be judged though.. They aren't perfect..

Anyways story's over . Feel better Ami! You rock your website is literally amazing, it's so fun to read and you are smart! just chill out okay?

posted November 03, 2015 10:43 AM            

You are my angel. Thank you

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posted November 03, 2015 11:00 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
DS

You are my angel. Thank you

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posted November 03, 2015 01:10 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Swift Freeze:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SPt5XnCUOvg

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It is always a question of perspective.