Author
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Topic: Why do mothers get more creds for their love for their child than the fathers?
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Dreaminess Knowflake Posts: 786 From: norway Registered: Aug 2014
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posted November 11, 2015 05:42 PM
Why are their love often seen as so powerful but not the dads? I`ve heard alot of sayings that says something like this "nothing is more powerful than a mother`s love for her child" and stuff like that but what about the dads? Isn`t it unfair to them? It bothers me when i read stuff like nothing can compare to a mother`s love and yadla yadla and i am just thinking mmm what about the dad?? Alot of fathers too would also have risked their life for their children and would do anything to protect them. IP: Logged |
Valentine Knowflake Posts: 298 From: Canada Registered: Dec 2014
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posted November 11, 2015 07:38 PM
It could be the fact that it's mothers who "carry" and give birth to the child, who also spend more time with them.IP: Logged |
PixieJane Moderator Posts: 7265 From: CA Registered: Oct 2010
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posted November 11, 2015 08:25 PM
I'm assuming you wish to genuinely understand and are asking for thoughts rather than vent. My apologies if my assumption is wrong.The first thing to come to mind is culture. Mothers are SUPPOSED to unconditionally love their children...and for this they can be condemned more for even just allowing child abuse to happen by the father because a woman who doesn't is seen as some sort of gender treachery. And for a long, long time, the only thing that was seen as belonging to a woman was her wedding (aka, "her special day") and then her children (an attitude that lingers, though often more subconscious), which I can see contributing to that. The mother is supposed to be supporting, but the father either protective (for his daughter, which can be frustrating for her) or tough inspiration for his son (and showing much less affection than the mother), both because women are supposed to be more emotional and sentimental (a trope that showed up in the Walking Dead where men gathered survival supplies while women grabbed family photo albums), and because people mistake sentimentality for weakness (I've even seen it on LL, like this one assuming a woman who is strong can't be sensitive and soft spoken, or how here it was considered "contradictory" for a man to be "Confident yet sweet"). A man can love, but he must--according to the often unexamined notion of many--be tough, and that means less loving (at least expressed love, which many people considered to be one and the same), even to his own children. And it's seen as a woman's primary function to nurture her children (such as when touted by America's most popular news network, explained here ) while a man puts providing over nurturing (which is reflected from covers of the song Cat's in the Cradle to how the default position of divorce court is that the man provides child support while the mother raises the child) while also supposed to be harsher ("wait until your father gets home!"). Both men and women try to live up to these expectations, and if they don't then both are likely to be shunned for it. And I wish I could recall where this came from, but I was unable to find a source for this before running out of time (but I remembered this saying by itself): IP: Logged |
PixieJane Moderator Posts: 7265 From: CA Registered: Oct 2010
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posted November 11, 2015 08:30 PM
That aside, you might like seeing this old thread: http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum27/HTML/001444.html IP: Logged |
Randall Webmaster Posts: 59042 From: Saturn next to Charmaine Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 12, 2015 02:30 PM
A dad's love is also special.IP: Logged |
venus2tinkerbell Knowflake Posts: 1357 From: New York, New York, USA Registered: Nov 2014
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posted November 12, 2015 02:43 PM
Are you talking about the traditional roles of mothers vs. fathers? One role being valued over the other?Because I'm sure stay at home dads get as much or little love and respect as stay at home mothers. Are you talking about the act of nurturing being valued over providing? Are you talking about who the children value? Values are taught. The first teacher is the at-home parent during those formative years. If it's mom, mom has to show appreciation for what dad does in order for the kids to learn to appreciate it. In the traditional (increasingly rare) setup children don't understand what the parent working and earning brings to the table. They have to be told. IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways Knowflake Posts: 7081 From: Registered: Oct 2011
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posted November 12, 2015 04:30 PM
But why does it matter? A father will love his children, regardless. And a father who loves his wife would let her take all the credit and continue doing what he needs to do silently and without glory while standing out of the limelight.IP: Logged |
bansheequeen Knowflake Posts: 1491 From: Beachville, USA Registered: Jan 2012
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posted November 13, 2015 05:36 AM
To me, it seems like there are lots of fathers that abandon their children. Mine did. And he rarely looked back. Didn't even pay child support but he lives in a huge house has like 4 cars. He randomly took me out but I dont even know why, I dont know who he was trying to fool. Me? My mom? Himself? Of all my friends whose parents are divorced... the father leaves and usually moves onto a new woman, maybe even a new family very quickly, while the mother stays dedicated to raising her children even if she doesn't have time for herself or to date again.Mothers sacrifice much more than fathers do. This is fact. Mothers carry the child and give birth!! The father stands next to her and holds her hand yeah, or he cheats. Yeah there are fathers that would do everything for their children. Maybe I am extremely jaded but I feel like they are few. Also, in a healthy two parent household, it is traditionally the woman that provides that immediate emotional closeness and support while dad shows his love through other ways. Most people are more inclined to value love through hugs and kind words than money and a roof over their head. IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways Knowflake Posts: 7081 From: Registered: Oct 2011
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posted November 13, 2015 04:18 PM
There are multiple ways. Let's not jump to stereotypical conclusions, although those generalities are based on statistics and the law of large numbers.IP: Logged |