posted February 13, 2018 08:58 AM            

I'm feeling much better and hopeful.The pills are making me sleep corretly at night without the torment of my anxiety.I mean they make me sleep at the right time so my anxiety doesn't keep me awake.

I'm a lot less irritated too so it's great!!!Now I will focus on fixing old repressed issues with my psychologist.

Please don't quote as I intend to edit later

posted February 23, 2018 08:37 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DannyCappy:
Yes I'm trying to meditate! but I decided to try yoga instead the chinese activity.I also bought the stones Kannon told me to and it's been funny to work with them.

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posted June 07, 2018 10:00 PM            

Well I made a lot of progress but there are times where I feel desperate and hopeless (like this week) and then the bad thoughts come out to play again.I don't know what to do or which way to go but I'm keep going.At least now I'm loving myself more.I'm also understading on a deeper level that my worth isn't based on the things I know or have.What I need to learn is how to be my own hero.

posted June 08, 2018 05:51 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DannyCappy:
Oh one thing happened my psychologist is going to retire soon and I don't want to start the process again.I'm used to her :/

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posted June 08, 2018 06:37 PM            

That is one of the hugest problems about going to business and profit-oriented mental health individuals for help with your deepest self.

You are encouraged to make safe emotional bonds with someone fake, who cannot possibly BE in your life past the expiration date of your insurance policies LOL.

(But I'll leave room for saying-- unless!, they are super-extraordinary human beings who's commitment to you goes beyond The Money.
.. Those are the ones who are TRULY Heart-committed to seeing you through, even to keeping a true relationship past the therapy point.)

Danny.... Going to someone and having to PAY them to 'be your fake friend' can only wind up with Hurt. It's the ultimate lie to your own self.

And if you're ready, get off those chemicals.
The IRONIC side-effects to some of those meds can GIVE or CAUSE people actual FALSE Depression WTIH Suicidal thoughts and behaviors.
(I had a good friend in the 1990s, who took her own life after I moved across-country. Her sister had committed suicide too, off the SAME meds-- before they found out that it is contra-advised for 'some' people. WHAT a WASTE of a Beautiful soul. … )

You need TRUE Friend Relationships.
People who when they perceive you are sad, will freakin' come to knock-your-door-down, haul your butt off the couch (or out of bed), to come take you out on the town for Ice Cream, just to cheer you up.

And if you gotta cry on their shoulder for a while, then they MAKE that arrangement for you.

I WISH YOU... a BIG Group of Just-Awesome Friends.

{{Heck, if I lived in your Neighbor, I would take you out for some Outrageous-Playing, and serious talk if you needed that. }}

(music) Can't Smile Without You (Barry Manilow) [3:08] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwBWqWSjup0

Lyrics

You know I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm finding it hard to do anything
You see I feel sad when you're sad
I feel glad when you're glad
If you only knew what I'm going through
I just can't smile without you

You came along just like a song
And brighten my day
Who would have believed that you where part of a dream
Now it all seems light years away

And now you know I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm finding it hard to do anything
You see I feel sad when your sad
I feel glad when you're glad
If you only knew what I'm going through
I just can't smile

Now some people say happiness takes so very long to find
Well, I'm finding it hard leaving your love behind me

And you see I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm finding it hard to do anything
You see I feel glad when you're glad
I feel sad when you're sad
If you only knew what I'm going through
I just can't smile without you

posted June 08, 2018 07:59 PM            

Yes I also believe it is a fake bond but I'm not paying for it hehe so it's okay.

I understand what you mean about the pills but the problem is that without them I was already having suicidal thoughts so they were like "tools of emergency" hahaha

It took me a long time to accept this treatment but one day I had to give up,I had to admit to myself that I coundn't do it alone.I also advocate to people stop battling depression alone cuz I know how far it can go.When I started to have suicidal thoughts I said to myself: "that's it,that's enough,if I keep on this road this going to end up badly" only then I searched for psychological help.

Anyways I don't think the pills help much (except with helping me to sleep properly)and it's been a month that I'm without it.

About my psychologist retiring...
it's not that I feel emotionally attached to her is that I'm a very closed person so starting over again is something I didn't want to do.Plus she already knew my story and issues :/

quote:

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I WISH YOU... a BIG Group of Just-Awesome Friends.

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Thank you

quote:

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{{Heck, if I lived in your Neighbor, I would take you out for some Outrageous-Playing, and serious talk if you needed that.

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😍😍😍 I'm sure I would love that!

I truly need some fun.I'm too serious!

Do you know how to heal the heart chakra?
Ohhh I've been doing yoga for quite some time now and I'm in love with it.I'm feeling so feminine and it helped to love myself more.

What I need now is courage to follow my dreams.I lack confidence on myself.

posted June 09, 2018 12:08 AM            

No doubt that you made the correct decision for yourself. I'm glad you're okay.

They should have to prove that

they can read minds!!!!,
see auras,
and know how to delineate an astrology chart, before getting licensed.

I did a little research on Heart Chakra healing.

Suggestions were to

breathe air through the heart chakra (not mouth)
get acupuncture treatments, massage, anything that involves being 'touched' by another human being

I'm glad that Yoga is working out for you.
Is it the 'exercise' yoga classes,
or the kind of yoga that leads to Spiritual practice and Meditation?

*~
Being 'more closed' isn't necessarily that bad. It is serving a purpose. It's important to respect what part of you that needs to keep that boundary there.
.. But I understand what you're saying about therapy. You're "supposed to" let them behind the wall?
.. Let me add, that *they* have to "earn" the right (from your subconscious and unconscious mind) to have the privilege to access it. Trust and honor your defenses.
*~

Heh, I get too serious too.
I need a buddy to go ~wild with!! LOL

So...
Following your dreams? …
What kinds of dreams?

posted June 09, 2018 01:03 AM            

How have you been?

quote:

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they can read minds!!!!,
see auras,
and know how to delineate an astrology chart, before getting licensed.

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It is a pity that they discard astrology and spiritual practices.You can see so much of the burdens of someone else on their natal chart.
____
Yes I think I'm holding grudges.I've been trying to release it and give it a closure but it didn't work out.I will keep trying though cuz this may be the ultimate KEY to solve a lot of my problems.

I just do the exercises but sometimes I meditate on my own.

Wow what you said makes perfect SENSE (#earning the right on a subconscious level#).When I say something similar to people they look to me as if I'm crazy lol but yeah I think that is absolutely true.
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Dreams to achieve financial stability and be sucessful but I feel like I have no talents.I don't know which field I could be sucessful.I need to trust myself in order to try new adventures.Break free.I feel my soul wants so much more.

I like art (paiting/music) but I don't have the skills to work with it.Anyway I'm thinking about participating on an art therapy to get some healing and also as a hobbie.I have sun-neptune so I'm deeply touched by colors and sounds.

Thanks a lot for the breathing tecnique.I will definitely try

posted June 09, 2018 02:38 PM            

quote:

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Sorry for sometimes taking so long to answer. It's not my intention I just get caught up on my stuff and sometimes on my drama lol.
BUT I really like to talk to you

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Ditto the above!
No expectations, okay? … We 'notice' bumps as they come, and, as we are present-enough to answer. I don't always spread myself around here. Just hit-and-miss topics.

Yes about them needing to 'earn' the right to trust. (You're not ~crazy.. you are highly-discerning and perceiving just below the level of conscious awareness.)

Yoga exercises are supposed to be preparation FOR meditations. (Heard that recently.)

It's the meditation and tuning-in that can Right your life-- even give you sudden insights about your OWN talents and abilities.

You spoke of your art-talent.
I could 'draw' but would suck at crafts.
Tried sewing a lace doily around a Valentine heart I had once made for my Scorpio Grandma.

I had a friend who was very talented with artistic gifts. I asked her to show me 'how' she does it? She showed me. I could NOT do what she did, and have it turn out properly.
heh. That was a good ego-lesson for me.
I'm usually pretty-okay at things I try. With CRAFTS?? Me? oh sheesh.
How humiliating! and good. ROFL

ART Therapy?? Wow. With your Sun-Neptune??
That's sounds marvelous.

If you find that a few of the things you do 'look' like they could sell? … Well, you could even make lithographs? That's a way for you to take Life's Lemons, and turn it into Profits.

And you don't need to be in a rush to 'know' what your talent and money abilities are.

You'll Discover it, as you go-- as you walk-out your journey. 'Because' you want to know, you 'already' have set the subconscious inner-ping to go off in your waking-awareness, at exactly the right moment and time.

You'll see... Slides in easily, with fuller picture/vision than you'd ever 'do' with trying too hard to figure everything out here-and-now and finitely.

Awwww. Now I REALLY wish we'd be neighbors! haha

Next time you do an ice cream shop, wave hello to the Vanilla-Fudge. That will be ME smiling back at you!

Take Excellent Care of YOU!

For your Beautiful Soul ….

posted June 25, 2018 09:18 PM            

I truly need some insights.I will give meditation a second chance

Hahahhaha I'm pretty terrible with crafts too but I love them.Yesterday I started art therapy and it was good.There's paiting and drawing lessons! Let's see how things will progress 😍 I found out that I'm not sooo bad as I thought lol

Thanks a lot for the positive message! I really need to be more patient but I feel so disappoited with myself right now.I want to find who I truly am,my gifts and let the past behind.Urg sun-neptune is related to identity crisis! 😣😤

quote:

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Next time you do an ice cream shop, wave hello to the Vanilla-Fudge. That will be ME smiling back at you!

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That is sooo sweet 😢

posted June 25, 2018 09:19 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:

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posted June 25, 2018 11:28 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DannyCappy:
Sorry Mirage I've been feeling terrible these days. When I get into a bad cicle it's hard to come out! :/

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Go super-easy on yourself. No self-condemnation.
None! Nada! Zip!!! …

Take things nice and slow ….

You're not the only one. There's another thread where someone was saying something similar to you. Then someone else in a different forum who was also feeling so much anguish. The first one said that last week was one of the worst weeks for him. He's doing better today …

Breathe... Stretch your arms while looking up at the sky. … You are MORE than you think.

While things go on that are not-so great, there is always a level to find that is above all that. … Like a jet, in higher altitudes.

There are some 'depression'-type transits (if it is a tender spot for you) right now. (these weeks).

Tomorrow is the once-a-year Sun Opp Saturn. .. Mars starts a backward motion tomorrow night(?). Saturn and Neptune turned backwards, and Chiron is going backwards in these next days. It's like the sky got 'stuck' trying to turn around?? *smile*

Full Moon in Capricorn 6.28 on Wed/Thurs June 27/28. (Saturn conjuncts it.) Some people feel those, depending on what's going on with you.

If you are able to hold still and be sooo sooo quiet and soft, and you tune into it, there is also a very very fine higher bright energy in the upper-vibe atmosphere too.

It's really really soft. Gentle. If you are able to get quiet with you.. maybe you'll sense it. Go into nature if possible, you could maybe begin to 'find' this other vibe in the quietest surrender …

Yeh, and there's a lot of muck, rubble, rocks, and vog / smog is in the other thicker spirit atmosphere (vibe-wise).

We hear all those news stories about the immigrants, the children that now may have been stripped from their parents and lost... Such sore soul-sucking bloody grieving... and metallic shut-down cold helplessness present too.

Those children.. so traumatized and marked, for the rest of their lives.. marred in a chunk of who they are, from now on. Chiron Aries. Left alone. Not comforted in their cold alone misery and pain. Parents.. so helpless. Lied to by persons they had to rely on.

I know that in the general population, for people of ALL ages who had ever felt wounds of abandonment and neglect in their lives, have to be triggered right now. That innerChild they have.. in resonance with those children. Sooo many of them.

So... I think that anyone with a soft Heart (able to put themselves in another's place) is sensing some level of subtle stresses with what's going on in the collective population right now.

I've had some 'dark nights of the soul' experiences during a few periods in my lifespan.

I'm glad I did, because it gives me a reference-point for what some people must be experiencing in their life right now. It's a part of being human…

Then I hear some people who are so being so iron, so stone and hard-- who put others DOWN for having the capacity to have 'feelings'. Like, they're more-'perfect' because they "can't"?...

No. It's a form of elitism by some. Covert narcissism-even? They look down their nose at people-- out of touch with their humanity. … They REALLY don't have a reference for what pain some parts of humanity experience. ... And too, they don't know 'how' to count Blessings, because of that. ….

They know not what they do ….

So anyways. .. Heh, I'm okay.

I'm just in a semi-incredulous state watching the level of how sickly 'cold' and ruthless, living on beefy-numb-meat-level of calloused being, some people exist on. .. And a few of those consider themselves spiritual leaders?... *selah*.

There's a difference between cold-aloof inhumane 'superior' detachment, and having a resonating compassionately-poised detachment that has not lost its touch with humanity.

Getting a little philosophical there... hummm.

So!... Part of what you could be resonating to is a collective-energy that many are in-touch with. Some more than others.
(On top of your personal issues, it's like a highlighter or amplification.)

I'm super-glad that you have found that you have some actual talent at art?!

I hope it brings you a lot of enjoyment, AND, allowing you to feel purged of things, of energies, that needed recognizing and given-expression.

Thanks for the update, Danny! …
Don't worry about 'how long' it is between posting.
Glad to see you again.