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Author Topic:   Abuse thats hard to explain
Dee
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posted April 23, 2018 12:13 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dee     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Narcissist abuse, triangulation, gaslighting, crazy making.

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Dee
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posted April 23, 2018 12:15 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dee     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
YouTube Assc Direct

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Dee
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posted April 23, 2018 12:18 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dee     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Finincial abuse. Purple Purse

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Desiring Shadows
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posted May 05, 2018 04:33 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Desiring Shadows     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Incest, molestation, rape, etc

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mirage29
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posted May 07, 2018 11:10 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for mirage29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

(music) Concrete Angel (Martina McBride, 2009) [3:53] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OkdTS7WTSWY

Came across this video a few weeks ago.
*Caution* --
blatant and VERY graphic details around her own sexual abuse by her father, and ignored by her mother

Psychological Devices employed by the abuser

(topic) How Do I Get Rid of My Pain? (Joyce Meyer, minister; Everyday Questions) [28:32] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDSEpvPFhUg

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PixieJane
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posted May 08, 2018 01:16 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for PixieJane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by mirage29:

(music) Concrete Angel (Martina McBride, 2009) [3:53] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OkdTS7WTSWY


Thanks for sharing, and this particular one can be seen as better that the actual music vid in that it identifies different types of abuse, but I wanted to share the actual music vid (see warning after), as I think it's very moving:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtNYA4pAGjI

While part of me really does not want to spoil it, I suppose it's just as well to say it's clear a child dies of abuse since that's something plenty wouldn't want to see.

The ending gives a twist (which could be seen in a religious or non-religious context, but spiritual regardless). While I normally dislike vids (and movies, etc) like these as either exploiting such realities for profit and/or coming up with don't-bet-on-it feel all better ending, I believe Martina is both sincere (and she does work with various charities, particularly those dealing with domestic violence) and I make an exception for her ending as it doesn't give a "problem solved" ending--and makes clear that the child died in large part because of others turning away to say not their responsibility--nor downplay the tragic nightmare of it in my book, especially as what happens after death is ultimately a mystery. (SPOILER: despite the mystical end, I could see this happening for an abused child about to die, particularly one who had endured a near death experience before which is all too possible for a child enduring such abuse. Since so many ask who the boy is, I'll say that it's open to personal interpretation, and mine is that the boy had also died of abuse some time before and is helping others in the only way he can.)

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mirage29
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posted May 09, 2018 10:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mirage29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you, P.J..
Really Beautiful surprise-ending at the finish of your Concrete Angel vid.

The other vid I left is BY someone who happens to be a minister, AND, it is not a 'religious' talk. She merely opened-out about the details of her abuse, to let people know the 3D truth about what can happen in families.

*spoiler* .. mentions something shocking (and disgusting) that happened with her father and law-enforcement closer to the end.

(In the middle of the vid, for ~a minute+, her assistant invites any women into their special FB chat group to discuss feelings and share.)

She briefly mentions certain scriptures she used 'for herself' while moving through her healing process.

{I was frankly surprised when I did NOT hear any kind of heavy blatant preachy-Call anywhere in it?
I would not have chosen to post the url in this forum, if she had.
OR,
I would have stated it.)

She's a Survivor.
I honor the courage it took for her to do that.


- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joyce_Meyer

abuse lasted till ~1961(?)
when she left the family home at 18yrs.

Joyce Meyer
June 4, 1943 (age 74, 75 in a few weeks)
St. Louis, Missouri, U.S.
Occupation
Bible teacher, author, speaker

SUN is Gemini 12+,
late Gemini, or Cancer Moon at noon.

Saturn Gemini 15.31 ..
conjunct Sun.

Mercury RX/SD Taurus 27+
Uranus Gemini 5+

MARS Aries 5+
(may be square a Moon Cancer)

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PixieJane
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posted May 09, 2018 11:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PixieJane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Just so you know, I did see that other one the other day (and yeah, I did hear of the deal her dad tried to make with a cop and not surprised by it, only that the cop didn't try to track him down later as he easily could, maybe the cop's own conscience had time to make him take the higher road, though in that case it's too bad he didn't do anything to rescue that poor girl--and just as there are scumbag cops, there are good cops who rescue abused kids--but perhaps he feared his moment of weakness being revealed so that shame stopped him).

Though she spoke as a Christian with deep faith, I didn't find her preachy (though I could see her own experience as being incompatible with someone who was abused in a religious context). I even related to her finding God to replace the mother and father she wanted but could never had, as it reminded me of finding Freya which I think was based in part on a very similar need. I also agree with her how there is the potential of greatness in all of us, if we can just overcome the psychological forces (that she sums up as Satan) that seek to diminish us.

I recognized a lot of what she talked about in my own terms. Abuse does make us hyper-vigilant (and emotional abuse can make someone hyper-sensitive as well) which can be disruptive when outside an abusive environment, and that anger and fear must be dealt with or that hyper-vigilance, so useful in dangerous situations, becomes counterproductive. And I do see forgiveness as important, though not in the "so you can do it to me again" way but to fully heal, because as long as the bitterness is there it is going to hurt in more ways than one, both physically and psychologically.

I don't see it as my obligation to offer an olive branch or to rescue my parents from their own toxic lives, but I believe I have fully forgiven my own parents and feel compassion for them, but that doesn't mean I see them as better than they are (that is to say, I know better than to depend on them or to trust them). I don't ever expect either of my parents to apologize for anything, but for me that's okay. (But I laugh at how I think my dad does feel some guilt that caused him to feel fear when I tried bonding with him by inviting him to go target shooting--the only thing we really had in common as adults beyond our warped sensed of humor--with me, like he thought I was luring him into a trap, which goes to show he realizes I have reasons to not think of him kindly, though he's wrong about me plotting his death. )

I understand no human being is perfect. Every mother and father on this planet who care about their children will make mistakes even by their own measure (though they may reflexively go in denial over as a psychological defense mechanism), because they're only human (though put into metaphorical terms, there's a huge difference between someone who accidentally hits you with a hammer and one who does it on purpose, especially as a pattern of behavior). But I really hope people who have loving, supportive parents appreciate them and overlook many of their relatively minor flaws and mistakes (just as parents should do for them--heck, we should strive to do that for each other since none of us are perfect, which is a perfectly valid Christian belief as well), and show them the same love when their parents are old rather than sticking them away somewhere or otherwise ignoring them.

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mirage29
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posted May 10, 2018 12:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for mirage29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I liked what you said about the target shooting.

You are well-spoken, always.

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mirage29
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posted May 10, 2018 05:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mirage29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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Randall
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posted May 11, 2018 07:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You jinxed it!

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mirage29
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posted May 12, 2018 11:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for mirage29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Randall:
You jinxed it!

hahahaha

omg!!! Thanks for that moment of levity, in an otherwise somber post!!!

Laughter and a Good Sense of Humor is a Medicine.

Stress break!!!!!!!

Shuck off the ballasts and weights that can drag your life down! It's important to know and place what had happened to you. And there may be more posts following, highlighting the healing from these.
{{*hug*}}

Super important to be able to let go, and take on some fresh perspectives.

(music) I Love to Laugh (from Mary Poppins, 1964) [2:50] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RTokqMhAuE

*~

To Life!!!

The following vids are posted "just" for Fun and Warmth!!

(music) To Life L'Chaim (Vanessa's Wedding Surprise, 2010) [5:28] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgZ4ZTTfKO8

(music) Bottle Dance, from Fiddler on the Roof (performers at a Jewish wedding, Sept 2010) [4:33] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYuYojyDwN4

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Randall
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posted May 13, 2018 07:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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Randall
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posted May 14, 2018 05:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I felt a little guilty laughing on this serious thread.

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mirage29
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posted May 15, 2018 08:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mirage29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
No ... no . Don't worry about it at all.
It thought it was funny!
Cracked me up.

I get too serious anyways?.

Humor is a medicine.

(topic) 'Bill' + Angel (Robin Williams, scene from movie Patch Adams) [1:44] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DgXa6Jp_wXY

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Randall
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posted May 16, 2018 04:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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mirage29
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posted May 17, 2018 01:16 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for mirage29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

(music) Teach The Children (Crosby Stills Nash & Young, 1970, album Deja Vu) [2:54] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkaKwXddT_I

lyrics
You, who are on the road
Must have a code that you can live by
And so, become yourself
Because the past is just a goodbye

Teach your children well
Their father's hell did slowly go by
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picks, the one you'll know by

Don't you ever ask them why
If they told you, you would cry
So just look at them and sigh
And know they love you

And you (Can you hear?) of tender years (And do you care?)
Can't know the fears (And can you see?) that your elders grew by (We must be free)
And so, please help (To teach your children) them with your youth (What you believe in)
They seek the truth (Make a world) before they can die (That we can live in)

Teach your parents well
Their children's hell will slowly go by
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picks, the one you'll know by

Don't you ever ask them why
If they told you, you will cry
So just look at them and sigh
And know they love you...

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