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Author Topic:   Never thought I would be writing this.
charlie
Knowflake

Posts: 4692
From:
Registered: Jun 2012

posted November 07, 2018 10:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for charlie     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Proud? Sure. Not really knowing which words to use? Yeah.
I just need to get some things off my chest.

I have been married for 4 yrs almost exactly on the date. When I met my husband (we will call him "S") I will admit that he "sold me" a picture of him that I now know not to be true. Or it might be true, just not something that he chooses to show.
He sold me a picture of him being kind (he is when he wants to be), curteous (he is when he wants something from you), understanding of all the different nuances that it entails being a human; being freightened, angry, sad etc etc

Anyway, S was kind, loving, content and caring for about 1 year. During this time, I had little knowledge about his past and that included his ex-wife. He never told me what a controling psycho she is and how she manipulates everyone so that she can get money. He never told me about all the years he used drugs or all the people he used to hang out with, doing drugs. He never told me about all the people he used to do "business" with. People that later popped up out of nowhere and literally scared me to death all the while he kept saying that I should keep calm and stop being silly.

The more I kept finding out about his past, the angrier he has become. Nowadays he is downright vile. He calls me the C-word almost on a daily basis. He flips me off. Yells at me in front of complete strangers. Humiliates me infront of his daughter. Threatens divorce only to later say he was joking.
It also doesn't help that I CALMLY tell him that it makes me sad because that makes him angrier.

Things have been OK-ish for most of 2018. We are currently in the middle of signing a contract on a new business and it's been going really well, bar a few sidesteps in terms of contract signing and then BOOM!

Apparently, his past has come to knock on the door again. The seller (we had never met him because deal is being brokered) is an "old friend" of S. They used to drugs 20 years ago while seller beat the **** out of his police-girlfriend. S has stopped drugs since way back, but not the seller whom appears to have taken drug use to a whole other level...

Seller showed up at work today, yelling and screaming. High as a kite. I was literally so scared I was sweating through my tshirt while hiding out in office. Seller wanted to shake my hand but I didn't want to because I was SCARED OF HIM!! When he left, S told me he didn't want to be my business partner (one of MANY (!!) threats he has used on me) because I couldn't behave properly. I tried telling him that I was scared but he didn't care.


I don't really know what add besides this right now :-/ Sorry if spelling is off-I am still upset.

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 107079
From: From a galaxy, far, far away...
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 08, 2018 11:36 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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mirage29
Knowflake

Posts: 11024
From: us
Registered: May 2012

posted November 08, 2018 05:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mirage29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
**RED FLAG**, Charlie.
That's abuse.
Contact the Domestic Violence office near you, and go sit down with an advisor/counselor. Some women's shelters have DV counselors running them. You don't "need" to be a sheltered person to receive services (I believe).

Let them give you some advice. Assess your situation.

uh, WHY are you signing contracts with him and his buddy .. I'm not a lawyer, but, if they start doing something wrong, couldn't you be liable?

If you have the finances, have his buddy (the one you are contracting with) investigated. Background check, criminal check. Do it secretly … if you can, for now. Do you have (your own) lawyer who could do that for you?

His change of behavior is **RED FLAG**?

Go consult with DV .. You've got "addicts"!!
Protect yourself.

If you feel it's right, do something to stall the business deal, if you need counsel with this. Don't want you getting screwed!

(music) Evangeline (Little Big Town, 2010) [4:33] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6R_A1X_cJI

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Dumuzi
Knowflake

Posts: 704
From:
Registered: Oct 2018

posted November 08, 2018 08:21 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dumuzi     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
ive been a junkie, so i'm going to level with you here and be real

you dont quit hard drugs and keep associating with the people you used with unless there's **** still going on

because you cant get away from drugs without stepping away from all of it and that includes the people you used with unless they clean up with you

his erratic behavior and these people showing up tell me he's likely back on drugs or will be and you need to think of yourself and get away because things are unlikely to get better but highly likely to get worse

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charlie
Knowflake

Posts: 4692
From:
Registered: Jun 2012

posted November 09, 2018 10:39 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for charlie     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I want to clarify: we are NOT going into business with this crazy person! He is the SELLER and we, the BUYER. We didn't know it was actually him until he just showed up one day out of the blue, high as a kite. The deal is being brokered by a firm.
When he showed up, my husband realized that they had a "past" together; as it always seems to be with him..There's always a "past" waiting around the next corner.

I just feel that there is nothing we can do to start FRESH because his past is ALWAYS coming back sooner or later and I am freakin sick and tired of the sh1t!

Like other poor women, I am sitting here making delusional excuses as to way he is behaving like a **** :-/ It's pathetic, really.

As for the past drug-use-history. I don't really know how hard drugs can affect one's brain longterm?! I have done my fair share of drugs but it was a fleeting thing and I *think* I didn't sustain any serious damage from it. I quit New Year's 1999. My husband on the other hand, has done some SERIOUS nose diving and inhaling through his years and sometimes I wonder if his brain is seriously damaged from it? It's as if he is possessed by a demon on/off that he fights with, and loses to.

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mirage29
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Posts: 11024
From: us
Registered: May 2012

posted November 09, 2018 12:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mirage29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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Morrigan
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Posts: 82
From:
Registered: Sep 2018

posted January 14, 2019 08:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Morrigan     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Wow, I'm really sorry to hear all this.

This, along with some of your other posts really makes me wonder... Why are you still with him?

Pardon me if that's rude, but it's not sarcastic - a genuine question. Is there any reason you can't get out or do you just love him or...

Having said that, obviously we on the internet don't know anything about your life and at any rate - it's hard to give up on relationships. But it just seems like everything is stacked against you in this one.. My sympathies are with you. Please keep posting and hope things get easier for you.

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Ami Anne
Moderator

Posts: 72954
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted January 15, 2019 06:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 107079
From: From a galaxy, far, far away...
Registered: Apr 2009

posted February 10, 2019 07:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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anonymidarkness
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Posts: 6803
From:
Registered: Aug 2012

posted February 10, 2019 10:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for anonymidarkness     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It's better not to bump sensitive threads, can serve as a trigger.

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