posted March 22, 2003 06:37 AM         

My sister has an eating disorder, so I know that I don't want to go down that path. I do go to the gym 3 times a week and I walk my dog regularly. But despite the fact that I am down to my pre-pregnancy weight, I still question whether losing one more kilo or more is going to make me look good.

I am just wondering if there are others out there that stress about this topic?

posted March 22, 2003 07:30 AM           

Funny thing is it's not the guys who make me feel body consious. It's the girls. My partner plays Aussie rules and alot of the girls at the club are just gorgeous and have awsome bodies. That's great, I'm happy they look good. Thing is, they put so many girls down!! They will seek a girl out and gossip about all her faults and it makes me wonder what they say about me when I'm not around.

I usually only worry about it at that time of the month when I feel horrible anyway...

Some girls do it so, so tough and I really feel for them. I'm not sure what the answer is though, I don't think you should worry about it so much. It sounds like you exercise enough and I bet the little guy keeps you on your toes!!

Also, if you have a set of scales throw them out!! They are no good as muscle weighs more then fat and if you are gaining some muscles from working out you may even put on weight!

I bet your husband loves you just the way you are and probably says something along the lines of 'I don't even know what your worried about' (like mine does )

posted March 23, 2003 04:06 AM         

RubyRedRam, do you think the paranoia people have about their bodies derives from the magazines and fashion models? My opinion is that it does as these models are society's role models for women. Let's face it - everywhere you go there are always pictures/posters/ads that have a skinny/slender woman who has no trace of cellulite or wrinkles. As the Body Shop said in their campaign, there are only 8 women in the world that have supermodel bodies. The rest of us come in all shapes and sizes. But, how can you retain a positive body image about yourself if there are always these pictures of skinniness flashing at you constantly? How can we women overcome it? What's the answer?

I try to focus on having a healthy and fit body as opposed to looking like skin and bone. But, it is hard to stay on that line of thought. I think women tend to compare each other's bodies with one another.

It has been a hard journey for me falling pregnant and then trying to lose the weight I had gained. So many times I wanted to starve myself or start a diet. But, I couldn't as I have decided to breastfeed and I didn't want to shortchange my little boy. So, this has been my saving grace. Plus the fact I have a wonderful, supportive husband who probably gets sick of me saying "Do you think I have put on weight?". Sometimes he says to me, "I love you for who you are". And that gives me the reality check I need.

Anyway, thanks for listening RubyRedRam. I really appreciate it!!!

posted March 23, 2003 05:17 AM           

Yes, the images we get thrown at us don't help but alot of them are airbrushed to perfection. I guess thats the whole point, they can't even leave models bodies alone!!!

My little sister is 13 this year and she has the likes of Brittney Spears, Christina etc thrown at her non-stop. We were watching chanel V once and she sighed and said, 'I hope I end up with a body like that when I lose all my puppy fat'.

Eerr, if only we could see a few more realistic bodies on TV it would be great. Just to show our young girls in particular it is ok to be the shape you are and not stick thin!! Curvier shapes are normal AND nice, just look at Sophie Dahl the first size 16 model!

I guess the best thing to do is think about the ones we love in our lives and say:
'Do we want to have a good body to make ourselves feel better even if we starve?'

or

'Do we want to be healthy and have all the energy and warmth to enjoy life with?'

posted March 23, 2003 08:05 PM         

O, the POUNDAGE!

Anyone who's ever struggled with weight seems to keep on struggling with it -- mentally if not physically, even if the problem is over. To use an old saying, whatta broken record (or skipping CD ) Why do we do that?

I gained a lot of weight a few years back, partly in conjunction with huge stress, and my thyroid gland, which went underactive. I've lost some since, but am into the gradual fat loss and muscle toning rather than rapid weight loss.

About media images of women, SG, I don't read fashion magazines anymore, with the exception of Grace (and one called Mode before that). Like Baz Luhrman says, fashion magazines'll only make you feel ugly! Grace is for so-called plus sizes -- although whichever publisher decided that "plus-size" starts at size 12, just made everybody in my old highschool "fat"!! What attracted me to buy these publications in the first place was flipping through one day, and seeing _normal_-sized women in the ads. I had no idea about this plus-size designation, I just liked the sane, real media images of women and I wanted to support that. I think it's important to surround oneself with positive people and positive images; no way I will ever, or would ever want to, achieve the "heroin chic" look!

Here's another question: why do we frequently discount our man's reassurance that we are gorgeous?

But I have several skinny or very slim girlfriends who are obsessed with their weight; one looks gaunt and could use 5 lbs. more, and they have the gall to complain about their "fat" to moi!!!!! I realize it's in their heads, and I do speak up about it, usually by asking a question or by cracking a joke, but their obsession goes deep, and they have no idea that they're doing it. So RRR, I hear you about that. A 'compare-and-find-wanting' mentality brings so much needless pain!

I met up with a friend's gorgeous 12-year-old daughter this summer; she's as slim and beautiful as a gazelle, all brown eyes and long hair, and body image came up, and like you say, RRR, she just shook her head and said, "No, BRITNEY has a beautiful body. Mine's not."

On another thread here recently, I believe it was ZenRia who said that self-esteem is a 2nd house issue. Any thoughts on that?

posted March 24, 2003 05:04 AM         

Yet, as you both say it is more important to focus on health and fitness issues rather than looking like an unhealthy gaunt model. It's such a pity those young girls feel the pressure already of looking like Britney Spears etc. We women have come a long way with equality issues. We aspire to be strong, independent women with our own careers, dreams and goals. Yet, we are our own worst enemy. Why is this? How do we change this?

posted March 25, 2003 01:12 AM         

I suppose I should appear more confident because that is what is sexy: a confident woman.

Well actually I am feeling pretty confident today I am on a good path in life right now and that is good

posted March 26, 2003 03:40 AM         

We could throw away our bras for one day!!!!!

posted March 28, 2003 01:07 AM         

I was always thin... 5'11" and around 130-140 pounds. Until... *dramatic music*.. I got pregnant 5 years ago. I gained a bunch of weight. The thing is... when I was 130-140 pounds I still thought I was too big because I tried to go into modeling and even when I was 128 pounds they wanted me to lose 10 pounds. Very difficult on the self esteem.

So now that I'm much more than that I just feel awful. A couple months ago a friend came to Los Angeles and I didn't go see him because I didn't want him to see me 'fat'. A concert for a band I love came and went and I didn't go because I didn't want to go 'fat'. It's very destructive. And I can sit here and say "i'm beautiful no matter what my size!" or "it the inside that counts!" and it doesn't matter.

Well it was my fault I didn't lose that weight. I don't WANT to be skinny. I want to be healthy.. that's a definate. I wasn't doing ANYTHING healthy, eating all sorts of crap, and not exercising at all. So for the past month and a half I've changed that and I DO feel much better and have lost 10 pounds. I figure if I lose another 20 I'll be happy and healthy and not a stick and I won't deprive myself of the FUN things I want to do

so we are definately not alone

posted March 28, 2003 10:08 PM         

"Thank you, WychOfAvalon. Way to go, you inspire us all! I now propose we all join hands (or lock horns, grasp fins, clasp wings, or extremity of choice) and repeat the "I-will-not-obsess-about-body-image-and-keep-thinking-I'm-fat" prayer:

I AM A GODDESS
EVERY DAY
EVERY NIGHT
DESPITE MY FEARS
DESPITE MY MIRROR
MY BEAUTY IS ME

In honour of our bodies, we will forego snacktime, and take a walk around the block instead."

I think trying to be sane about body image in L.A. especially must be unbelievably difficult. I was an extra on a set with Jenna Elfman and another L.A. tv actress last year, and their thinness made them look breakable, and I looked like a _troll_ beside them!! They had NO CALF MUSCLES, although they were supernice and seemed fun people. NO ONE I know has no meat on their bones like Hollywood women... and I work out at a gym where many women have amazing bodies (guys too) So WychOfAvalon, I can imagine you've got an extra challenge, so double good for you!

I'm with Sunmeadow Glades about the bras off!

But why quit there? How about tossing out (or putting away!) most of those lying, nasty mirrors? Having too many is bad Feng Shui anyway, isn't it? A good pal enlightened me about mirrors years ago-- she said they lie, because they never show a person in motion -- the hair, the walk, the arms, the spirit moving through the body -- and so can never really show our true beauty.

Who needs more reminders that we're not PhotoShop-perfect media women?

Pass me that apple.

posted March 28, 2003 11:14 PM           

It made me feel great!!

posted March 29, 2003 03:47 AM         

I loved what you said about the mirrors, Lunagirl. That was truly inspirational!!

posted March 30, 2003 12:13 AM         

*sighs*

well one of my best friends.. KIAN.. is a size ZERO. She looks fab but I end up dressing her in all the stuff I really want to wear that I can't because it doesn't look good on me anymore. She has a hard time shopping with me because I'll hold up a little patch of fabric and say "HEY! This would look great on you!!" because *I* like it but won't dare wear it anymore.

Well honestly I do like my curves but I don't want to be self-conscious like I was about two months ago when I didn't want to leave the house because I was afraid people would look at me. And it's not like I'm HUGE. I'm fitting into my size 14 jeans and hopefully will be in my 10's in a couple more months. It's just warped body image. I have friends that are size 24's and I think they are gorgeous and wouldn't call them fat. It's all self-image... and how I portray myself I guess.

I wish I could get rid of the mirrors.. and the scale!

*HUGS EVERYONE IN THREAD*

posted March 30, 2003 03:16 AM         

Look don't worry about sizes. Hot girls come in all sizes, we're all individuals, we're not all going to be the same looking.

It goes both ways anyway. When I go up in pounds certain curves get bigger and I LOVE that and when my weight goes down I LOVE how I look but miss my bigger curves.

posted March 31, 2003 04:48 AM         

We women are so amazing and yet we focus on trivial issues such as a kilogram or three!!

We're nuts!! I tell you we are absolutely nuts!! The lot of us!!!

posted March 31, 2003 08:09 PM         

---> while the lurkers watch admiringly!

posted April 01, 2003 02:38 AM         

*sending happiness to your friend*

I had an ectopic pregnancy and as a result one of my tubes is not fuctional so I can relate!!

*HUGS*

posted April 01, 2003 03:41 AM         

When I was in school I was a lanky girl, and the other girls used to call me anorexic. But I wasn’t. When I was younger I used to eat an enormous amount for dinner! 2, sometimes 3 servings, as much as my dad. I did a lot of sport so I think that may be why I had such a big appetite. I was told by girls at school that I was abnormal, it wasn’t right to be that skinny, that girls are meant to have curves. In a magazine there was a graph of a healthy weight for your height. I was below average, and was teased because of it. Girls can be so cruel. But guys can be cruel too... the only guys I seem to attract are interested in only what I look like... they try to get in my pants and when they don’t succeed they want nothing to with me... I wish I could find a guy that it was interested in my mind!