posted April 07, 2003 11:57 AM         

It is my son, Arthur, Fajita. He is a very sweet boy, but he has no functional language. I'm reasonably sure he is of average-to-above-average intelligence, but he does not seem to have the aptitude (yet) for verbal and non-verbal communication. Thank you for your interest!

Sincerely,
divinia

posted April 07, 2003 01:24 PM         

or www.camphillschools.org.uk

or www.inala.org.au

There's a book called "Autism, a Holistic Approach" written by Bob Woodward, Floris Books, ISBN 0863153119

posted April 07, 2003 01:57 PM         

Sincerely,
divinia

posted April 07, 2003 02:39 PM         

I have an autistic brother, but when he was born in the 50`s, they called it Mental Retardation. He was a premie & developed a high fever from chicken pox and it damaged his brain. His IQ is about 70 and a happy and generous soul. While a different type of autism, I heartfully understand the help your seeking.

Stella gave you the most up to date info I`m aware of. Music touchs the children deeply too.I do know your love and devotion will work miracles. You must be a very special person to be blessed with Arthur

posted April 07, 2003 11:15 PM         

Juniperb I did not know that about your brother.

posted April 08, 2003 12:29 AM         

Thank you very much for your insight about your brother. I know that it is only recently that Autism has come out of the closet, so to speak. I think that I was affected by it in some way as well, but I was never labeled as such....it's just that all of the pieces fit.

I am so fortunate that my husband and I are able to stay home with him. He is so attached to both of us. We also make sure that he takes Brewer's Yeast. It has a very high concentration of B-Vitamins and seems to make his mind more alert. Tonight for the first time, he helped me in the grocery store. I was so surprised when he started placing the cans on the moving belt. Usually, he tries to place himself on there instead.

Anyway, thanks again for sharing with me. I am so happy to be here with such fine people.

Sincerely,
divinia

posted April 08, 2003 12:35 AM         

Although he doesn't talk yet, he does try to sing quite a bit. I only wish I could understand him better. I know he tries to talk to me sometimes and I just can't figure out what he's saying. I'll keep trying though.

--divinia

posted April 08, 2003 03:27 AM         

Have you tried the wheat and dairy free diet?! I've heard of wonderful results with this diet. It seems certain things in dairy and wheat aren't digested properly in many autistic children and eliminating this from the diet greatly helps them.

here's a couple links with recipes/cook books and info on autism: http://www.glutenfree.com/ http://www.glutensolutions.com/

My son has verbal apraxia and some sensory issues and I've considered trying the diet just to see if it helps with his sensory issues.

posted April 08, 2003 03:33 AM         

3 years old is a little early for an Autism diagnosis. Are the doctors certain that's what it is? You say he's average or above average intelligence... is it just his lack of speech that makes him different or other autistic characteristics as well?

Sorry if that's too personal. I've just spent the past 6 years researching autism because of my sister so I know a little about it.

My sister, Autumn, loves music too!! *Rod Stewart especially.. which is pretty funny*

posted April 08, 2003 12:58 PM         

First off, some personal history about myself. As a little girl, I was very shy, painfully so. My extended family thought that I was very eccentric and my parents thought I was "the most miserable child they had ever seen". I had tantrums for no apparent reason. I had mild seizures or "staring spells" which my Pediatrician told them I would outgrow. (I did.) I had language at an early-to-normal age but I could not hold a conversation. In fact, one of my biggest fears was that someone would talk to me. Because of my reticence to speak, I was labeled retarded by my kindergarten teacher. Once I did become able to interact somewhat with my peers, I felt like I was reading from a script most of the time. From the research I have done in to ASD, I now think I may have Asperger Syndrome or "high-functioning" autism.

As you probably know, autism has 3 components: social, behavioral, and language. Although Arthur is very attached to his father and me, he seems to have virtually no interest in other humans. When people speak to him, he turns away and will not make eye contact. He is very prone to throwing tantrums, at home or in public. You should see the dirty looks we get. You can just tell the people are thinking "Why can't you control this child?" or "I certainly don't let my children behave like that!" Fortunately, I am able to let it roll off my back.

Anyway, Wych, I really appreciate your support and sharing with me. The GFCF diet sounds like something I should try right away. Thank you very much for the information!

Sincerely,
divinia

posted April 08, 2003 02:59 PM         

Tantrums.. yes. My sister was the same way, I think. My mom was worried to bring her anywhere but wow I respect my mom. She is my sister's biggest voice. That woman is a non-stop advocator. I love it! But that's the way parents HAVE to be otherwise their children get overlooked.

It's WONDERFUL you are on top of things. It may seem natural but you'd be surprised how many parents don't care. My son had an IEP at his preschool last month and when I showed up, someone in the office said "wow! A parent!!" because they were surprised a parent showed up to it!! I found that so sad that it's a rare thing.

ANYWAY!! I do hope the diet helps. It can be difficult to cut out dairy and wheat... but it IS possible. A lot of autistic kids crave the stuff and some will only eat certain things. For instance my sister's diet is grilled cheese sandwiches, peanut butter cups, and Dr. Pepper. I keep trying to get my mom to do the diet but she hasn't yet. I'll keep poking at her to try it.

posted April 08, 2003 08:13 PM         

It is hard to believe that some parents aren't that concerned about their children, special needs or not. I love being a mommy and I'm glad to be able to identify with Arthur. I just wish I could understand his language better.

Talk to you soon,
divinia

posted April 09, 2003 05:04 AM         

Another thing I wanted to mention...My stephmum is a child psychologist, and she's been a lot in the States for work, studies, conferences etc. She was telling me that in the US one have a quite different attitude to "labelling" children who don't behave "normal". She was especially talking about hyperactive children, in US one out of ten children are diagnosed as hyperactive, while in Europe the number is much, much lower. (She's saying that kids are diagnosed as hyperactive, while all they actually need is more activity - instead of being confined to small apartments and classroom most of the day, they should be out climbing trees or running or chopping wood.) I remember her telling the range for what is "normal" is much wider in Europe than in US.
My only experiences with autistic kids is working in a unit in a mental hospital for a week (I couldn't take it any more!). Those children certainly didn't attach to their parents (or anyone else), and there's no way you could have brought one of those children to a supermarked with you for shopping. My best friend still works there, and from time to time brings one of the patients, now a grown woman, with her home or to a coffee shop, but this woman only sits there shaking her head and seems completly lost in her own world. I remember my friend laughing at the film "Rain Man" for what she called the "glorification" of autism, and said she would have liked the Hollywood producers to come to her work and see what autism really is like.
From this little description of Arthur, he seems completly normal to me! (And the way you describe yourself as a little girl, I think here in Europe you'd be considered just shy...). I'd say a three year old child would be abnormal if he did NOT have tantrums, it's an important part of our development as human beeings. And I don't know how many children I've met who don't want anything to do with anyone but mum (or dad or both). My oldest son didn't speak untill he was three years old, we thought he was "late" because he is bilangual, but then his brother Alex came along and spoke long sentences at the age of one (Mercur 9th house in Virgo!). Now I realize Jason is just lazy, he's now nine, but sometimes he speaks very blurry, like he doesn't bother to pronounce the words properly, or he might not speak in proper sentences, and we just have to tell him to talk properly so we can understand what he's saying. He has Mercur conjuct Saturn in Pisces, so that might explain some of it. A friend's son didn't speak untill he was five. Both my sons had speech therapy (they couldn't say R), and there I met loads of children who had problems speaking - but there was nothing ELSE wrong with them. WOA, when you write about Hunter seeming to have his own language, that might actually be true...When you read about karmic astrology there are reports about children continuing to speak the language of their last life...Jason also continued to use his own words for very long, like "ni-ni" for milk and "Asiko" for Alexandros.
Anyway, the point of my very long essay here is that in Europe there might be a wider acceptance for what is "normal" and a tendency to just wait and see if the kid grows out of it. Whether this is good or bad, I don't know.

posted April 09, 2003 01:28 PM         

Thank you so much for your insight! You are absolutely right that here in America we are very into labelling and pigeonholing everything. I really appreciate you taking the time to explain thoroughly an alternate outlook.

In many ways, Arthur does behave like a "normal" child. He loves to run and play. We try to make time for an outside activity, such as going to the playground, with him at least once a day. He loves his mommy and daddy. He is willful and temperamental, but he can be affectionate as well.

I definitely think that dietary changes will help to improve his affect. Maybe once his diet is changed he will be able to take direction from us more readily. My main concern is that he will be able to function in a setting that is removed from us; e.g., school situations. This is what we are working for right now. He's never been in close contact with other children. He sees them, of course, almost everywhere we go, but he has not had much interaction. It doesn't help matters much that I am shy and tend to avoid people as a rule. It is painful to talk to people for me. Writing is much easier, thanks to my Mercury in Virgo. Although I am a sun sign Libra, my heaviest influence is earth. Arthur is a sun sign Capricorn with his Mercury also in Cappy. His strongest element is earth as well. Fortunately he doesn't have too many placements in fixed signs. Maybe this will be of help.

Again, Stella, thank you very much for your help!

Sincerely,
divinia

posted April 09, 2003 04:34 PM         

You almost sound like me, actually. I was painfully shy as a child and in my early teens. PAINFULLY shy. It's still hard for me sometimes to make eyecontact. i have to FORCE myself. I'm much better now but all of my friends are people I have met online first and then meet in person. I don't have any friends recently that I've met in an offline environment because I am TOO SHY.

yeah yeah i know... some people find that hard to believe because I look all crazy and I have a big mouth online I just say my online persona is how I'd like to be in real life. Offline I have turned to alcohol while I'm 'out' to open up. If I have some vodka my shy barriers go down.

BUT ANYWAY!!

Hunter started preschool in November. He just turned 4 a couple weeks ago. Before preschool he really didn't have interaction with other people besides me and his father. It took him 3 months at school to open up but now it's REALLY helping him. He's in a class with 'typical' peers and some peers with some speech and behaviorial differences. The typical peers have helped SO much. You might want to consider putting your little one in preschool It should be free. His teacher told me the other day that Hunter is the brightest kid in the class and one of the youngest but he has to do things HIS way (more so than other kids), on his own terms, at his own pace... and he's beginning to open up socially.

WOA, when you write about Hunter seeming to have his own language, that might actually be true...When you read about karmic astrology there are reports about children continuing to speak the language of their last life

stella! It's interesting because a year or so ago a friend of mine from Russia came over to visit and she was really pretty freaked out because she said Hunter said 4 Russian words to her and that he seemed to understand what she was saying. She was taken off guard and our visit was mostly spent with her looking at Hunter sideways. HAHA!!

posted April 10, 2003 01:29 PM         

Thank you very much for sharing about Hunter! I can identify completely about the drinking. When I was in my early 20s, I used to drink heavily just so I could function in social situations. I was so desperate to function so that I could find my special someone (i.e., looking for love in all the wrong places) that I would drink myself into a stupor, thereby becoming as unfunctional as they come. Pretty rough times. Now that I am 33 and happily married, I hardly ever touch the stuff. I still have a desire to obtain altered states, but my love for my family overrides this desire.

I was thinking last night I should look into some sort of daycare for Arthur. I would like to find something where I could be there too, at least part of the time. I do feel that he is at a point where he can be benefitted by being around other children close to his age.