posted September 10, 2004 12:08 AM         

They didn't know about the sexual assualt. Both times it was guys I knew who I trusted more then anyone else in my life.
I wrote alot of poetry to try and destroy my feelings but they just seemed to get worse. It took up all my time and I was kicked out of school.

Men wasn't an option for me, I found the idea of boyfriends just wasn't going to work. (Is this normal?)

I dont know if I was always after a girlfriend but I have one now. OKay heres my problem. I know this doesnt bother her at all, but sex isn't happening. Everytime we get close to anything sexual I freake out. She said she doesnt care about sex and everything but it's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me? I know that the sexual asualt is an issue but I want to get over it. I just want to move on and live a normal life.

How can I get past these thoughts that have been occupying my mind for far to long already?

posted September 10, 2004 01:55 AM         

To move on you have to acknowledge the experience and understand it has already been lived. You do not need to constantly
RE-LIVE it. I think you need to understand that YOU are NOW in control. TRUST is a big issue.

TRUST in yourself.
TRUST that you'll be able to move on.
TRUST that you are now wiser.
TRUST that you are worthy and lovable.

Running away from men after a bad experience is VERY normal.

Are you sure that a girlfriend is what you really want?

Think about it. I suspect you are just playing it safe are you?

Gia

posted September 10, 2004 02:13 AM         

I've been dating her for about 6 months now and like her alot, I just cant get past this experience.

I'm happy with her, I just want her to be happy with me. And although she says she is, it's constantly running through my mind that she may not be.

posted September 10, 2004 03:59 AM         

Not all men are bad. It's so cliche, but it's true. Were they the same type of guy? Whatever your preference, be open to love. Be open to recieve love. If you open your heart, someone will fill it up with love.

When you say, "I wrote alot of poetry to try and destroy my feelings but they just seemed to get worse. It took up all my time and I was kicked out of school," it sounds like maybe you have alot of anger that is suppressed or hidden that you're afraid to let out. I could be wrong.

And Gia's right. Acknowledge the experience. You prolly felt violated, shocked, confused, numb, anger, scared...I know, I can relate. But when you release your feelings, you'll be free. How do you release them? By acknowledging what happened, how it made you feel. Understanding the circumstances, and know that you are smarter. Know that no one ever has power over you unless you give to them. And you will not let these dirty men, excuse me, pigs, have power over you and your life. You live your life at your own pace; you have the power to do that. Begin to think about what you want in a relationship, what you want in a person, what you want in yourself. Write down what you'd like to have and don't have, what would be ok..ect. Make a list as if "Santa," or whomever were gonna deliver it to you. Because, here's a secret: You will have that kind of relationship, meet that person with those qualities you thought about, and become happier. And if you decide that it's not working for you, edit your list, or make a new one. Then just fax it away, cuz the universe will answer it.

As for your Sweetie, open communication. She may be able to calm your fears.

posted September 10, 2004 05:06 PM         

quote:

---

Begin to think about what you want in a relationship, what you want in a person, what you want in yourself. Write down what you'd like to have and don't have, what would be ok..ect. Make a list as if "Santa," or whomever were gonna deliver it to you. Because, here's a secret: You will have that kind of relationship, meet that person with those qualities you thought about, and become happier. And if you decide that it's not working for you, edit your list, or make a new one. Then just fax it away, cuz the universe will answer it.

---

i'm gonna do it!

it really works you say?

posted September 10, 2004 05:12 PM         

You've been given some very good advice.
I'd like to add just one thing.
Manifesting by writing what you want is excellent, but don't forget to thank The Universe, The Loving Creator of All That Is, for the blessings of your life. Tell the Universe what you appreciate in each day.
Love goes hand in hand with gratitude.