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Author Topic:   Feelin Sad (semi angry rant)
marcia
Knowflake

Posts: 250
From: NYC
Registered: Oct 2004

posted December 16, 2004 10:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for marcia     Edit/Delete Message
One of the ladies at work stopped me yesterday to tell me I look terrible, I'm way too fat, my face is too bloated, for 24 I look like an old lady and I need to quit pigging out on junk food (funny because she's never seen me eat junk food because I BARELY EAT AL ALL but the little stuff I do eat is usually fast foods). Naturally my Cancer moon made me want to just cry then and there, then she went on to tell me that I don't love myself to let myself get the way I am and that that's why our supervisor treats me the way she does because of the way I look. THEN she says, "you know I could've said this behind your back, but I didn't" as if I should be f*cking thankful.

I mean, HELLOOO I know when I gain weight, I really didn't need to hear that BS, now it's really affected me to the point that it keeps repeating in my head. She made me feel like that's how everyone sees me, like some big fat ugly joke.

Is that what I am, some friggin joke. Does my weight define me? Am I looked down upon for it?

What a b*tch! If she only knew that I'm now just recovering from being a buliemic for 8 years and I'm seeing a therapist because of my weight issues, then what?

This type of thing makes me wanna just get under my covers and disappear.

Damn you, Cancer moon, I know this is you doing this!


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LibraSparkle
Moderator

Posts: 4154
From: Vancouver USA
Registered: May 2004

posted December 16, 2004 11:08 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for LibraSparkle     Edit/Delete Message
Try not to obsess over that biznatch, Marcia. You're beautiful no matter how much you weigh.

You are NOT defined by your weight.

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trillian
Moderator

Posts: 2726
From: The Boundless
Registered: Mar 2003

posted December 16, 2004 11:14 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for trillian     Edit/Delete Message
Document this incident. Write it down in detail.
Report and present it to your supervisor without delay.
This is undue harassment.
She cannot treat you this way, if you do not allow it.

If you are concerned that your supervisor does indeed show prejudice against you due to your physical appearance, that too should be addressed. It's called discrimination. There are laws against that. Document your conversation with your supervisor, or ask that her supervisor also be present. You haver rights.

You might want to speak to a lawyer if your supervisor does not address the issue. Find out of your company has a harassment committee.
No one should be treated in such a manner anywhere, let alone in the workplace.

Your weight does not define you. You define you. Beauty comes in many packages, thick, thin, tall, short, bald, curly, etc. And your Cancer moon knows this.

Don't blame your Cancer moon. It's emotional, but it's also a Cardinal sign. It can fight, quite effectively. It's up to you. Her words have only as much power over you as you allow.

I wish you well, and I wish you healing.

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miss_apples
Knowflake

Posts: 286
From: white bear lake, MN, USA
Registered: Oct 2004

posted December 16, 2004 11:36 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for miss_apples     Edit/Delete Message
And what does this woman think she is..a supermodel? No honey your weight doesnt define you. Ive conversed with you a lot through all these Lindaland threads, and I know for a fact you are a very beautiful woman and I have never even seen you!

Dont worry though hun, the universe has its way of working things out, she will get hers !

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merlinesque
Knowflake

Posts: 44
From: United *Magical* Kingdom
Registered: Nov 2004

posted December 16, 2004 12:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for merlinesque     Edit/Delete Message
I've been in situations some time back now, where I was made to feel belittled by things people had said. Pointing out to me things, that I am already aware of. I reacted in the same way. Angry, questioning if those things define me as a person.
Now, people could throw the worst insults as it and it would bounce off me. Why? Because the only person who defines me is ME. And that's how it should be for you also Marcia. Don't let other people's words and other people's perceptions distort either your thoughts or your emotions.
I wonder if the people quick to point out the flaws in others, are not the ones who are themselves sad and upset at their own.
Define who you are and know what you want.
If people try to bring you down in some way, turn the other cheek, don't feed them any negativity back, and be secure with yourself.

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marcia
Knowflake

Posts: 250
From: NYC
Registered: Oct 2004

posted December 16, 2004 12:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for marcia     Edit/Delete Message
Thanks guys, all of your thoughts are well appreciated

Trillian, if I bring this to my supervisor's attention, it'll do more harm than good.
I was in a situation before where some Hispanic coworkers were casually using the word "nigga" in the office (not as racism, but as slang) with me being the only black woman there, and what happened? After going to the manager, director AND human resources, nothing because it inevitably turned into some he said she said bullsh*t, therefore they couln't quite believe me since the girls denied it.

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Yin
Knowflake

Posts: 735
From:
Registered: May 2004

posted December 16, 2004 01:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Yin     Edit/Delete Message
Marcia, I can't believe what I just read! This is pure harassment like Trill said!!!
I know very VERY well first hand what it feel like to be discriminated against!!
Get your work's harassment policy.
I don't remember which part of NYC(Brooklyn?) you lived in but here is what I found http://www.attorneylocate.com/category.asp?state_code=NY&state=New%20York&city_id=1957&city_name=New%20York%20-%20Brooklyn
Check that link, you can talk to an attorney for free. Talk to them. See what they can do. Don't give up! You have the right to be treated as the normal human being that you are!!!
I'm so p1ssed, if I were a man or even stronger I'll be beating everybody that dares to be nasty like that!!!

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merlinesque
Knowflake

Posts: 44
From: United *Magical* Kingdom
Registered: Nov 2004

posted December 16, 2004 01:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for merlinesque     Edit/Delete Message
Marica, I rarely use my Zen Koan cards, but today I have decided to pick one out for you. The card says: "I burn the books in my bag. But the verses written in my guts cannot be forgotten."
I interpret it as trusting your own intuition and knowing what it tells you, being secure with it and not expressing yourself through the judgments of others.

Every cloud has a silver lining as they say.

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marcia
Knowflake

Posts: 250
From: NYC
Registered: Oct 2004

posted December 16, 2004 01:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for marcia     Edit/Delete Message
Yin and Merlinesque.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

(BTW from the Bronx)

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merlinesque
Knowflake

Posts: 44
From: United *Magical* Kingdom
Registered: Nov 2004

posted December 16, 2004 01:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for merlinesque     Edit/Delete Message
Sending Love and Light.

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Yin
Knowflake

Posts: 735
From:
Registered: May 2004

posted December 16, 2004 01:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Yin     Edit/Delete Message
http://www.attorneylocate.com/category.asp?state_code=NY&state=New%20York&city_id=1956&city_name=New%20York%20-%20Bronx

Marcia, you are such a cool Leo! Good luck to you, kick some a$$!!!

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26taurus
Moderator

Posts: 3764
From: the stars
Registered: Jun 2004

posted December 16, 2004 01:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for 26taurus     Edit/Delete Message
marcia,

That's awful. That was extremely rude of her to say. *sigh* Some people like to make other people feel bad. It's disturbing. I hope she never does it again. And if she does tell her you dont appreciate her thoughts on the matter, you are dealing with things in your own way and her comments dont help, they just make you feel worse.

I agree with missapples, from what I know of you, you are gorgeous.

Yes, what goes around comes around. This woman is unhappy with herself anyway, to have to point things like that out to people, so rudely.

We're all fighting a hard battle. Dont let this negative woman affect you anymore. Understand that she is unhappy and wants others around her to feel the same way. Dont play into it. Love yourself marcia. We do.

Much Love & Light.

26

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marcia
Knowflake

Posts: 250
From: NYC
Registered: Oct 2004

posted December 16, 2004 02:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for marcia     Edit/Delete Message
*tearing up*

I love you 26Taurus

Yin, that website is very helpful.

Merlinesque, thank you for your reading, that card will give me something to think about on my train ride home

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NeoKitty
Knowflake

Posts: 133
From: Heaven
Registered: Dec 2004

posted December 16, 2004 05:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for NeoKitty     Edit/Delete Message
You have the strength marcia, to speak up- but always do it with a smile!

People normally find faults in others that is just a reflection of themselves.

Chin up! And let your Light shine bright!

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LeoSweetHeart
Knowflake

Posts: 111
From: San Diego, CA USA
Registered: Nov 2004

posted December 16, 2004 08:21 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LeoSweetHeart     Edit/Delete Message
Marcia you ARE Beautiful! We live in a world that is not so easy sometimes and full of negetivity and yet whenever I "hear" you talk, I only hear a loving kind person who spreads positive, bright light around. When you "walk" into a forum, you light it up! I'm not just saying that i was just thinking about how kind hearted you sound in all your posts To me that is sooooooo beautiful, I just want to love you and hug you and kiss you, heheh (in an innocent way) Thats why I am so angered with the media, we only get a sense of One kind of beauty, causing these stupid insecurities!! Now you see?

That woman is living in a world of bitterness and hatred it sounds like, she is spreading around her negetivity, so that others can be with her..Misery loves company! And sometimes people who are really asleep, like to make others feel lower than themselves to get a sense of power. I never understood people like this, it always make me sick.. Bottom line, this woman is sick, not you! Keep being a bright light in the world, we need all that we can get

With love

Monica*~

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pixelpixie
Moderator

Posts: 5433
From: Ontario, Canada
Registered: Aug 2003

posted December 17, 2004 02:35 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for pixelpixie     Edit/Delete Message
****GASP****
She said what now?


Gaap. I am absolutely outraged.. and it would run over and over in my head too, equal parts agreeing or wondering where the truth lay within her assured statement... and also the scenario that had me defending myself to her ill-conceived notions of superiority.
As everyone else has said, my lovely Mar-cee-a....
YOU are a friggin' beautiful human being. I see it. If she doesn't see it, or wants to belittle you for it... throw her in the bin. NO ONE should tolerate that sort of opinion.. whether you do anything legal with her little irade, or psychologically analyse it until you make sense of it.. it will still be one of those things you shouldn't have to revisit every time you have a low day. I hate those things. Please categorize it as only a thing the b!tch of the century would actually say to another human being.. as complete drivel aimed to cut, disguised as 'helpful critisism'. Bullsh!t.. she is a lowly thing and i hate her for treating you like that.. no one has disposable feelings.. no one wants to hear that.
GGGGGgggggggggggggrrrrrrrr. You just send her on over here, i'll get her.

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marcia
Knowflake

Posts: 250
From: NYC
Registered: Oct 2004

posted December 17, 2004 08:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for marcia     Edit/Delete Message
You guys truly overwhelm me, ALL of you.

I don't know what to say now, I'm not very used to hearing good things about me from other people. Although this is beautiful and
I greatly appreciate it, it's not familiar to me and is hard for me to accept.

The love and sincerity here is unlike anything I've ever experienced. This is a
family that I always wished for and I finally have it. Even the lil fights you guys have here are cute. LoL!

I don't know how busy it'll be here at work,
so if I don't get to post again (which I doubt) then have a lovely weekend all, I will
be thinking about all of you and how extraordinary and amazing each and every one of you are.

I do love you all, truly
I want to thank you guys for once again welcoming me and dealing with my crazy sh*t

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miss_apples
Knowflake

Posts: 286
From: white bear lake, MN, USA
Registered: Oct 2004

posted December 17, 2004 10:26 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for miss_apples     Edit/Delete Message
The most interesting thing is that this woman said "you know I couldve said this behind your back" Its like, honey didnt your momma tell you that if you dont have anything nice to say dont say it at all!

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pixelpixie
Moderator

Posts: 5433
From: Ontario, Canada
Registered: Aug 2003

posted December 17, 2004 12:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pixelpixie     Edit/Delete Message
How you like them apples!!!
I know, I know.. like in her head this horrible, disgusting, rude, unjustifiable thing can be said by qualifying it with a twisted 'justification'.
Just twisted.. i have no doubt she has social problems.
SHE is the one who needs help, my dear Marcia, not you.

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LeoSweetHeart
Knowflake

Posts: 111
From: San Diego, CA USA
Registered: Nov 2004

posted December 17, 2004 02:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LeoSweetHeart     Edit/Delete Message
Marcia

You should take our opinions to heart because we all Know you a lot better obviously and throw her heartless pathetic opinion in Garbage where it belongs! Just remember when you see her, if you don't decide to report her, that you are Awake and drowning her pathetic miserable ways and she's trying pull you in with her.

Let her drown by herself and remember if anything, feel sympathy for her but never value the opinion of someone who's or anyone who makes you feel less than Beautiful, seriously. I don't mean that she deserves your sympathy after that, but it just helps when your ready, not to carry around anger, its more for you Yes I know I feel the love here to, its amazing

Monica*~

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LeoSweetHeart
Knowflake

Posts: 111
From: San Diego, CA USA
Registered: Nov 2004

posted December 17, 2004 02:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LeoSweetHeart     Edit/Delete Message
I meant **she is** drowning, sorry

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pixelpixie
Moderator

Posts: 5433
From: Ontario, Canada
Registered: Aug 2003

posted December 17, 2004 03:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pixelpixie     Edit/Delete Message
SECONDED!!!!!
and also..... Leo sweetheart~ Click the edit on your own post, fill in your info, and you can edit within your original passage. So you don't have to post again to qualify.
SEE???

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LeoSweetHeart
Knowflake

Posts: 111
From: San Diego, CA USA
Registered: Nov 2004

posted December 17, 2004 03:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LeoSweetHeart     Edit/Delete Message
Ohh koool! Thanks Pixie Now you guys will know I can actually write, I'm just a careless sometimes.

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NeoKitty
Knowflake

Posts: 133
From: Heaven
Registered: Dec 2004

posted December 17, 2004 09:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for NeoKitty     Edit/Delete Message
Aww, what would ya do without these knowflakes

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