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Author Topic:   I cannot take this anymore
marcia
Knowflake

Posts: 289
From: NYC
Registered: Oct 2004

posted February 20, 2005 04:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for marcia     Edit/Delete Message
I'm asking you guys for help (in strength and in spirit) I feel like I'm at a point where I can no longer deal, I feel like a f'ing bum and a failure, and I feel like I've not only let myself down, but most importantly my son. I feel like wtf is the purpose of even going on? I need a blessing, a prayer, anything to get me out of this. I guess what I really need is someone to hold my hand and tell me everything will be ok. I know that I may be stepping over my boundaries by sporatically posting and putting so much focus on myself,
I 'm just so far gone right now. I don't even remember being this low in my life. God, I was finally becoming happy ********* !

You guys are the most loving and positive people I know, so I beg of you to please pray for me, pray for my sanity, pray for my undying optimism to return.

Please help me, God if you guys could only see these tears.

I love you all.


Marcia

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26taurus
Moderator

Posts: 5912
From: the stars
Registered: Jun 2004

posted February 20, 2005 04:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for 26taurus     Edit/Delete Message
Marcia , It really pains me to read this. I really do know where you are at. It is the hardest most awful place to be. In it, you see no hope, no way of getting out. Your words have been mine so many times. I've been down some lonely and dark, dark roads. I wish I had some magic words, but I dont because I still deal with it myself. I can say that this is not permanant. You are at a crisis point and that is the beginning to the road of healing.

I am looking for a good prayer for you. Right now I am sending tons of White/Gold/Green Light your way. And asking the angels to help you in some way. You'll be in my prayers. That's all I can do. Please know you are loved and ask the Universe, God, angels, whomever for guidance. You must ask for it. And I'm glad you came here and did so. Life is a very lonely road sometimes. I dont know what to say except I feel your pain and this isnt permanent.

Bright Light to you.

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26taurus
Moderator

Posts: 5912
From: the stars
Registered: Jun 2004

posted February 20, 2005 04:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for 26taurus     Edit/Delete Message
You may want to print these out and tape them places in your house where you can see them often. Say them until it becomes an ingrained part of you. Until you start seeing changes in your life and thoughts. It will happen if you work at it. Your thoughts create. I know it may seem silly but do it anyway.

"Heavenly Father, I will reason, I will will, I will act; but guide Thou my reason, will, and activity to the right think that I should to."

~Paramahansa Yogananda The Law of Success ~ Using the Power of Spirit to Create Health, Prosperity, and Happiness

...more to come....

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26taurus
Moderator

Posts: 5912
From: the stars
Registered: Jun 2004

posted February 20, 2005 05:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for 26taurus     Edit/Delete Message
During these very difficult times of coping with the tragic events that have affected so many people both near and afar, there is much we can do through the power of prayer and affirmation to serve our families, our friends, our neighbors, and the world. We offer to you the prayers and affirmations that follow as a means of bringing a deepening sense of the strength, compassion, peace and understanding within each one of us.

Paramahansa Yogananda, in his spiritual classic SCIENTIFIC HEALING AFFIRMATIONS, stated, "Sincere words or affirmations repeated understandingly, feelingly, and willingly are sure to move the Omnipresent Cosmic Vibratory Force to render aid in your difficulty. Appeal to that Power with infinite confidence, casting out all doubt; otherwise the arrow of your attention will be deflected from its mark."

"I know that God’s power is limitless; and as I am made in His image, I, too, have the strength to overcome all obstacles."

"God is within and around me, protecting me; so I will banish the fear that shuts out His guiding light."

"I am submerged in eternal light. It permeates every particle of my being. I am living in that light. The Divine Spirit fills me within and without."

"I relax and cast aside all mental burdens, allowing God to express through me His perfect love, peace, and wisdom."

"Teach me to feel that I am enveloped always in the aureole of Thine all-protecting omnipresence, in birth, in sorrow, in joy, in activity, in meditation, in ignorance, in trials, in death, and in final emancipation."


http://www.yogananda-srf.org/writings/prayers_main.html


"Nothing is too good for me as a child of God. I deserve the best!"
http://www.consciouslivingfoundation.org/affirmations.htm


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26taurus
Moderator

Posts: 5912
From: the stars
Registered: Jun 2004

posted February 20, 2005 05:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for 26taurus     Edit/Delete Message
I know you probably dont have it in you at all right now to use these. That's okay. They will come in handy for you at some point. I'm sure of it. Things will get better.

(((BIG hugs to you)))

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marcia
Knowflake

Posts: 289
From: NYC
Registered: Oct 2004

posted February 20, 2005 06:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for marcia     Edit/Delete Message
I love you 26Taurus.

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26taurus
Moderator

Posts: 5912
From: the stars
Registered: Jun 2004

posted February 20, 2005 06:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for 26taurus     Edit/Delete Message
I love you to marcia. Take it day by day. That's all you can do. You are in my thoughts and I'm sending you Light.

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noreenz
Knowflake

Posts: 545
From:
Registered: Feb 2004

posted February 20, 2005 08:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for noreenz     Edit/Delete Message
~~~~~Heyyyyyyyyyyyya? Your break'in my heart here, what is it that is taking you so low? ok, maybe that is none of my business, but perhaps it might help to talk about it. 26taurus (bless ya schweetie ) has offered some great advice.

Well in any case much love and light coming your way:

How old is your son? Please stop beating yourself up, you don't deserve it, you have a very kind soul.

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marcia
Knowflake

Posts: 289
From: NYC
Registered: Oct 2004

posted February 20, 2005 11:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for marcia     Edit/Delete Message
My son is 2.5 years old

I lost my job, unemployment is denying me, I have no money and for the first time in my life, I have to go on welfare.

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miss_apples
Knowflake

Posts: 494
From: white bear lake, MN, USA
Registered: Oct 2004

posted February 21, 2005 12:32 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for miss_apples     Edit/Delete Message
Marcia baby, I was in your exact spot. I lost my job, I couldnt get unemployment, I had to go on welfare and welfare wasnt even enough to pay 1/4th of my rent so eventually I did get evicted. However I feel like God still watched over me. God made sure I had somewhere else to go and God made sure I at least had one person to rely on. I dont think that God lets us go through anything he/she doesnt think we cant handle. So even if worse comes to worse, you will handle it with extreme class and you will pull through everything. Then your son will admire you even more, because he will know how strong his mommy is and how she faced hard times and was able to pull herself through. And you will, you are a very strong lioness, you will overcome.

Now go out there and be the Queen of the Jungle.

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pixelpixie
Moderator

Posts: 6715
From: Ontario, Canada
Registered: Aug 2003

posted February 21, 2005 02:15 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for pixelpixie     Edit/Delete Message
Oh yes, I heard that!!!!!
You can do it!!!!!!!!!





I know you can do this.

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LeoSweetHeart
Knowflake

Posts: 282
From: California, USA
Registered: Nov 2004

posted February 21, 2005 04:00 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for LeoSweetHeart     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Marcia I've missed you. I'm really sorry to hear that your not doing so well. But like the girls said, you WILL get through this, your Marcia, of course you will! Your much to good of a person to not come out of this on top. And don't worry, your son is still so young. When children experience having no money, its not usually the lack of money that affects them, its lack of a loving environment. Surely you a very loving and nurturing mother, I couldn't picture you to be otherwise. That will get your son through this..He needs love and food, not material things yet. Don't be so hard on yourself either, anyone could lose their job at any moment..it doesn't mean your a failure by any means. Keep your head up through all of this and remember you are loved and protected and you will pull through baby!! We all have faith in you and we're all here for you,k. I don't know how to send Light, but I'll pray for you and send you my Love by saying, I love you

Love

Monica

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thirteen
Knowflake

Posts: 207
From: Rochester Hills, MI USA
Registered: May 2004

posted February 21, 2005 12:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for thirteen     Edit/Delete Message
Go on welfare and then clear your thougts and learn some affirmations to help you get to a better place. Open yourself up to receive and let the universe help you. Here is my favorite affirmation when I am down and out. "The universe supports me". The worst of times are learning grounds only. You were not born into this earth to be a victim. Sometimes one must really hit bottom to be able to rise to their heights.

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merlinesque
Knowflake

Posts: 87
From: United *Magical* Kingdom
Registered: Nov 2004

posted February 21, 2005 12:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for merlinesque     Edit/Delete Message
Sweet Angel Marcia, I don't know you, but even so, I know you are capable of great things. Never be down on yourself and your possibilities. And never feel that things will always be as they are in this present now.
Believe in the possibilities, yourself, your future, your Love for your son and look ahead with hope and faith in your heart. Creating positive feeling is very hard when all around is such negativie situations, but never give in and never give up.
I personally recommend doing this meditation: http://www.lightcoach.com/PowerofLight.html
The 'Light' meditation. It comes from "Unveiled Mysteries" the first book from the I AM discourses. The meditation itself is powerful, if used with commitment. And it brings such feelings of total peace, that no feelings of hurt could ever touch you when used daily. It requires visualisation...anything we visualise can be made real. If we can imagine it...it can be made manifest. Try it.
I will put you in as much Light as I can muster in my own meditations.

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marcia
Knowflake

Posts: 289
From: NYC
Registered: Oct 2004

posted February 21, 2005 01:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for marcia     Edit/Delete Message
This makes me cry, all the love here

I'm so overwhelmed with love right now that
I CANNOT EVEN BE DEPRESSED LoL!
It truly is A MIRACLE!
The power source of this place is unimaginable, and it is our deep affinity for Linda that reUnited us and I am so grateful for that. To have a place where people accept me and support me through the good times and the bad. I truly know in my heart that this is just a challenge, it will not break me, it will only make me strong.
It was the love of this group that made me realize that in less than 24 hours.

Anyhow, from the depths of my sould I want to thank you guys, if my son weren't running a marathon in my apartment, I would respond individually. I will make every effort to within the week. But do not think for a second that I do not love you guys

Please be patient with me though, very soon I will be up and at am in this forum again.

I just need a little more time, even though I'm no longer blue, I am still a lil stressed.

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trillian
Moderator

Posts: 3059
From: The Boundless
Registered: Mar 2003

posted February 21, 2005 03:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for trillian     Edit/Delete Message
Much healing light and love for you and your child. I hope what seems to be misfortune is simply a realignment that will bring you great happiness.

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merlinesque
Knowflake

Posts: 87
From: United *Magical* Kingdom
Registered: Nov 2004

posted February 21, 2005 03:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for merlinesque     Edit/Delete Message
Love you Marcia xx.

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Aphrodite
Knowflake

Posts: 3935
From:
Registered: Feb 2002

posted February 21, 2005 03:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aphrodite     Edit/Delete Message
to you.

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miss_apples
Knowflake

Posts: 494
From: white bear lake, MN, USA
Registered: Oct 2004

posted February 21, 2005 04:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for miss_apples     Edit/Delete Message
May The Archangel Ariel be with you and help provide you with much needed courage and prosperity Marcia my dear!

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SunChild
Knowflake

Posts: 464
From: Vic, Australia
Registered: Jan 2004

posted February 21, 2005 08:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SunChild     Edit/Delete Message

Glad your feeling better Marcia!
This place does offer such, and your on your way to experience many more miracles.

------------------
"And dreams, don't ever forget, are the first step in manifesting wishes into reality"-- Linda Goodman's Star Signs

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PinkPearls&Stars
Knowflake

Posts: 51
From: San Diego, Ca, USA
Registered: Apr 2004

posted February 21, 2005 08:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PinkPearls&Stars     Edit/Delete Message
my prayers are with you, i know you can get through this. lots of love and light!

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Jaqueline
Knowflake

Posts: 1203
From: Rio de Janeiro , Brazil
Registered: Oct 2002

posted February 21, 2005 10:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Jaqueline     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Marcia,

I can imagine what you are going through...
Four years ago I was crossing one of the worst, maybe the worst moment of my life.

I had just separated from my husband, with whom I lived for fifteen years.
I didn't have a job, I didn't have a perspective...
I had a house to sustain and two children that needed me.
My daughter is diabetic since she is five years old and my divorce made her disease totally uncontrolled.
Her father disappeared.

I cried every night and sometimes during the day also.
I didn't have how to pay the bills...sometimes I didn't even had $ to buy decent food.

My children used to have everything...yes...we were " rich ".
We had Mercedez and BMW in the garage, 4 employees in the house and everything that $ can buy... but all this ended in a flash.
On that moment I had only two choices: got mad or struggle, I decided to fight using the only weapon I had: my Faith.

I don't know exactly how, yet in some way things began to "walk".
I met people that helped me, not with money but with ideas. People that helped me to find a spiritual path, people that gave me force. I am not talking about a boyfriend, but people that God put in my life when I needed most.
Somehow I began to work and my mother came to live with me and helped me with my children.

Marcia, when I look back, I don't know exactly how, but the Universe "CONSPIRED" to help me to cross the crisis and survived in the end.
Boyfriend? Yes I met somebody two years ago. Today we are married.

Naturally, today, my life is not perfect. My ex husband is practically the reencarnation of the devil , my daughter continues diabetic and I continue struggling day after day, but every day I reaffirm my faith in God and in me.

Then the only thing that I can say to you is: BELIEVE!
Believe in YOU, believe in a Superior Force that protects all of us and mainly: Believe in Miracles!
In a subtle way, Miracles happens everyday, we just have to BELIEVE.

Love,
Jackie

------------------
"If you want my final opinion on the mystery of life, I can summarize it in a few words:
The Universe is like a safe with a combination. The problem is that that combination is locked inside the safe."

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bstephens30
Knowflake

Posts: 5
From:
Registered: Feb 2005

posted February 23, 2005 11:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for bstephens30     Edit/Delete Message
Here's a late reply, but I think it's worth saying. When things go bad for me, as they sometimes do, I always say, "What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger". Then I tell the lord that he didn't do this to me without a reason and I ask him to show me the way. Boy, he does like to let us know who's in charge when we forget! I also think that sometimes he puts us in bad spots so we know and appreciate the great spots! That way we don't take anything for granted. Please know that I'm thinking of you and I hope that everything works out! Oh, and about your son, perhaps that this bump in your road may teach him that faith and friends are important, that sometimes we have to swallow our pride and that grace under pressure works out? Hope I didn't over reach, but I could feel all the emotions in the posts and was just drawn to help out a little too.

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