posted December 10, 2005 02:52 AM         

I have TONS of experience with depression. I have had depression relating to having Asperger's syndrome, from having PTSD, from being pregnant and having an abortion, from being stressed and exhausted by college and finances and from growing up in a family that was emotionally neglectful and unresponsive to me as a child. I have had depression in various forms and varying degrees of intensity since I was 8 (as far as I can remember). Because of depression I have been suicidal many times in my life. I've abused drugs, and have been in a drug rehab as a teen. I've lost jobs. I've gotten failing grades in college and even had to drop out of grad school. I've spent years wasting away emotionally and spiritually in self-destructive behaviors, thinking I should be able to handle this on my own. I've been in denial. I've been in therapy. I've been on meds. I've tried vitamins, herbs, flower essences, meditation and prayer, exercise, and diet changes. If I could make a career out of being chronically depressed, I'd be top of my field. I know what helps, what doesn't help, and what just adds fuel to the consuming fire.

I don't take depression lightly. I know it is a very serious illness and anyone suffering from it needs serious healing. I don't like to waste time entertaining other people's "opinions" on whether depression is real or not, or what it truly it is. I know it's real and it's devasting. It's like an invisible cancer that invades the brain, the body, the heart and the soul. I know you can't beat with happy thoughts, pep talk, will power or "turning that frown upside." And I resent other people pushing that nonsense. I have had friends who haven't been as resilient as me in my own struggles - I've lost too many friends to drug abuse and suicide steming frfom their own depression. When I talk here at LL about depression and offer my advice, I'm not doing it as some glib "know-it-all" - I'm doing it because I hate seeing people going through the pain I have been through and other I love have too. I
*know* there are ways to cope with depression and to overcome the worse of its effects. Would you kid around, making glib and self-important chatter if someone with 3rd degree burns was asking for help? That is essentially how I feel when people come here and post about their struggles with depression, whether they realize they are depressed or not. That is also why I have such little patience for people who offer pointless, irrelevent or very bad advice.

Now, a short list about who's at risk for depression: essentially anyone but namely

- victims of abuse or trauma, past or recent
- people who have recently experienced a great loss
- people experiencing sudden life changes (even seemingly positive ones like a birth of a child or getting married)
- people under continual or severe financial or job-related stress
- people with chronic or lingering illnesses
- the eldery
- people who lack sufficient social networks
- people who lack healthy coping skills to deal with negative feelings, disappointments, and loneliness
- teens
- pregnant and post-birth women
- women with menstrual problems or going through menopause
- men experiencing hormonal changes
- people with hormonal problems, namely with thyroid or adrenal glands
- people with any kind of physical condition (including deformity, injury or scarring), handicap, neurological condition or learning disability that may advserely affect their self-esteem or sense of worth

And all of these groups are more at risk during the holidays.

A short list of things that can help *cope* with depression (but not necessarily "cure" it):

- therapy to learn effective coping skills, learn behavior modification, and to understand the roots cause and/or triggers of one's depression
- support groups relating to coping with depression
- meds (I'm not a big advocate for meds, but when used as *part* of therapy, meds can help overcome some of the more inhibiting symptoms so the person can start taking their life back. Meds are not, however, a quick fix - only a tool.)
- exercise
- getting enough sleep
- spending time outdoors, in nature, around plants
- daily exposure to sunlight or full-spectrum lighting
- having a dog, cat or other interactive companion animal (one you can touch, play with, bond with, etc.)
- regulating diet so to exclude junk food, fast food and excess sugar,fat, caffiene, starch and alcohol, as well as any food allergies or foods not well tolerated
- adding to diet foods that improve neurological function, such as green leafy vegatables, legumes, fish, nuts, berries and citrus fruit (among others)
- acupunture
- herbal therapy and flower essences
- prayer, meditation, yoga and attending religious services/ceremonies

It is important to understand that deprssion is an illness that effect the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual, and so the most effective treatment is one that covers all those areas. For most people beginning to cope with depression, however, they need to focus on the most pressing problems they are experiencing, such as fatigue, suicidal thoughts or inability to cope with emotions or stress, adding other things to their recovery process as they begin to heal.

If there is anyone here who knows or suspects they are struggling depression, please know there is hope. There are things you can do to help yourself, to heal and to get your life back. It's not your fault that you're depressed, there's no shame in being depressed and you shouldn't expect yourself to deal with this problem on your own. Please consider all the options available to you.

posted December 10, 2005 06:04 AM         

In fact, the key signs of betterment is when one isn't even thinking about the end goal any more. One is just concentrating on making oneself better, and better, and better.

10 years ago I was in a total depressed, neurotic hell, crying constantly, no confidence whatsoever. In the intervening years, I have had several bouts of counselling, quit talking to certain people, resumed talking to these certain people, got married and experienced some sort of solace through being "rescued" in that way...until there came a point when I started to become more assertive and didn't need rescuing any more, so relations between me and my husband went downhill (we are now divorcing). Over the last couple of years my confidence has increased exponentially to enable me to get to the stage where I am now. A chaotic way of doing things? Maybe - but you sometimes need to roll with the punches. You can't give up. And you can't waste time focusing on regrets. Do what you are sure of, and be confident in your ability to make that decision, even if you have to change your mind 8 weeks later, as I did recently with a postgrad. course which I pulled out of - because I decided I'd rather run my own business. It's all a question of constant review, analysis etc. It's also a question of taking responsibility. The depressed person needs to realize that they can in part be responsible for their actions.

I was so depressed years ago that people thought I was going to go the same way of my schizophrenic cousin. I used to get terrible rages, although this was in part to do with some of the controlling people in my life, who I ceased talking to for a while...lately I heard my cousin, who had been let out of a secure unit, threw himself in front of a train, intending to commit suicide. He wasn't killed but apparently lost limbs. Now...NO-ONE wants to get to that stage.

I think that with schizophrenics it is a case of a genuine chemical imbalance. I don't know whether it is a familial thing, but I certainly feel things more acutely than many people around me. This is maybe why I have never been interested in mind-altering drugs of any type. Because I can experience what I want to in my mind, out of pure choice. And I also need to be in control. I think it's best to try and avoid drugs as far as possible, it lessens the ability to become self-sufficient.

Self-sufficiency IS an issue, whatever difficulties one may have, and there are two choices the individual faces: going all the way up to heaven...or all the way down to hell.

I think the key to recovery is knowing oneself and individuating oneself, recognizing the idiosyncrasies in one's character. The pivotal people in my life (mainly Aqua/Scorp/Leo influences) may have traits that I have reacted very strongly to, but they have also helped me grow.

Possibly one of the most helpful factors in my recovery has also been this forum (especially regarding my separation). It's not quite the same as a counsellor, who may not have been through the same experiences.

posted December 11, 2005 12:22 AM         

quote:

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It's not your fault that you're depressed, there's no shame in being depressed and you shouldn't expect yourself to deal with this problem on your own.

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posted December 11, 2005 02:30 AM         

Thanks a lot GN. We have been similar places in our youth. I too have seen the devastating effects of depression and drug use both on myself and on others.