posted February 28, 2008 11:21 PM         

i have never been in a better place on so many levels. spiritually my eyes are more open, my heart is more open.

emotionally i am peeling away the unwanted for what IS. it is hard f---ing work.
i have to keep reminding myself that when my mind and heart start to spiral back into the negativity, it just is not where i want to be.

i am beginning to rely on Faith when there once was none. i have been shown things that go beyond explanation or words. it has been of the EXPECT A MIRACLE sort and it has been beautiful. i pray to say thank you.

i am a level II reiki practitiner, i use the purple plates. and i still am having these moments of wanting to just scream. so when my kids are not home i do. i think it is hormonal. i think it is knowing that half of my life is over. the innocence of hope is slipping. yet i am growing into the KNOWing.

so why the hell am i so boluxed up still? moments of shear peace slip in between, where i KNOW it and i will be ok. I Am ok. then it begins again.

in so many amazing ways, it is all here for me yet... the fight, the struggle, i want it NO MORE. it is my karmic wheel a spinning. stop the fear of loss and rejection, that is my plight. i am secure in who i am. i like me, i love me. then good ole' saturn creeps toward me. go back whence thee came saturn. i will forever learn in this life but my karmic lesson has been learned. is it the rings of saturn that has me in its grips?

just please, i need the help. i KNOW that there is so much in the world that needs our love and attention and prayer right now.

please pass some my way.

thanks for listening

posted February 29, 2008 12:32 AM         

What's stressing you out?

posted February 29, 2008 01:28 PM         

i am creating a healthier space for my Being, for the me of me, for my family, for my friends, for life.

Azalaksh- could you please explain your response further. i will look some info up in the meantime, as well.

thanks and many belssings