posted June 28, 2008 04:06 PM         

aLSO IF YOU DO A BIT OF HOMEWORK REGARDING HERBAL THERAPIES i THINK YOU MIGHT FIND SOME HELPFUL SUGGESTIONS. PERSONALLY i LIKE dR wEIL. cHECK OUT HIS WEBSITE & GOOD LUCK TO YOU. OOPS...my apologies on the caps.

posted July 01, 2008 03:08 PM         

( bit edited out )

posted July 02, 2008 06:54 AM         

**The thing I'd most like to know is whether the planets are against me ever finding my true love.**
no .. i certainly don't think the planets are against you .. not at all ..
but .. there is definitely a transiting influence that would get you thinking about that subject ..
and it's been going on for quite a while now ..

**I was told by someone on another website that I won't be with someone until 2010. **
yeah .. i' noticed that post .. .. personaly .. i wouldn't take any notice ..
unless .. maybe they are a *genuine* psychic/medium .. even so .. via a website .. a bit dodgy ..
but if it were astrology .. i'd take that with a very large pinch of salt ..

posted July 02, 2008 01:13 PM         

have sent u mail ..
( reply adrs. being diff. to what i posted )
and .. .. looked at your progressed chart ..
explains a few things .. plus some venusian reasons to feel upbeat ..
i need to double-check it all out before making any statements .. :-)

i still rekon .. ( re your above query ) much has to do with your North Node ..
and the fact it is being aspected by transiting Neptune ..

north node in leo ..
~ http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/007994.html ~
i guess in a sense .. yearning for a 'one and only soulmate' is something you should be doing ..

on the other hand .. by co-incidence .. my north node is in aquarius ..
( the opposite of n.node in leo )
and it's said that n.n aqua folk have a tendency .. in early life ..
to yearn for and seek their 'one and only'
( can vouch for that observation )

i.e. what n.node aqua should avoid .. and what n.node leo should do ..

and transiting Neptune is exactly opposite your North Node in Leo
and exactly conjunct your South Node in Aquarius ..

so some sort of inner crisis going on .. via Neptune ..

you've had transiting Neptune making an aspect to natal Nodes before .. once ..
when you were 1 and 2 year old .. and it was an easy aspect ..
suffice to say you probably don't remember too much ..:-)
now .. however .. it's back to aspecting your Nodes ..
and the aspect is potentially a difficult one .. but more to the point ..
it's mainly a 'first-time' transit .. i.e. no teen-adulthood prev. experience of what it's like ..
no personal measuring stick as to how that Neptune feels .. so to speak ..
( maybe reminds you of childhood somehow .. i don't know .. just guessing )
i.e. .. a new experience .. ..

i count 3 transiting neptune aspects to my node's .. since birth ..

posted July 06, 2008 01:38 AM         

admitting that i was afraid. I don't know exactly what i had this overwhelming fear of but i instincively knew that my anxiety was caused by fear. It helped me get thru it all.

From your posts I will tell you what I feel.

You want a quick fix. You are obsessing over having someone and you said if you don't get to be with this random person until 2010 you will die! Let me tell you something, the only person who could permanently make you feel better about yourself is Jesus himself.

Let's say someone does come along that makes you feel complete for a moment. He/she (I don't know your sex but i'll assume it's female) gives you the time of day and wants to hang out and maybe even get to know you beyond your desperate loins.

You'll start planning the names of your first 5 children out of shear joy that you won't have to face any personal issues on your own and will be able to, in fact, bypass them by projecting what your idea of happiness on to this hypothetical relationship---

I'm guessing the 2.5 kids, and white picket fence that nearly everyone's minds are ingratiated with from the moment they were born--- from television and generational conditioning passed down from our 1950s era ancestors.

You attribute your panic attacks to stress you've been having lately, but let me assure you- the fact that you are seeking the timeline to when you will be united with your true love is the ultimate reason for your attacks. Stress in your real life is just a trigger that catapults you into the same pit of helplessness shared by your urge to find your true love. the dark pit of aloneness

helplessness is the key. Your obsession for having your true love is what you have deemed the answer to said helplessness. You have taken this one step further and subconsciously declared you will never feel complete without said true love. You have in essence given up on your self to truly face yourself. To truly face the reality that you are alone. You are utterly alone. Later in your evolution you will know that even in the most dynamically heaven inspired relationship- the one that will prove the existence of god to you first hand- you are still alone. A flame of god resides in you and you can understand it, learn from it, even grow into it, but the best any relationship will ever do for you is remind you of this flame- help you attune yourself to it- to the point where you can no longer differentiate between yourself and it.

The fact that you don't even have a face to match this desire truly demonstrates the desperation, determination and complete blind ambition of your pursuit. You need to stop and take what I am saying to heart because I swear on anything that should only be sworn upon in only the most honest of moments that I do not want to see you like this, just as much as you don't want panic attacks- for the obvious reasons.

But for the love of yourself, give up on trying to quench your thirst from another individual. Focus on your own individual. Don't even try to internalize the idea that everything you need is inside yourself. You are at an extreme point where the only acceptable/logical/perceptible answer is outside of yourself- caught in some web that the stars have plotted against you.

This is a dream, a fantasy, it's all made up. True, astrology has deep and profound truths, but very few people you will ever come across can perceive the depths of astrology necessary to truly give you any sort of answer. The energies of planets and the way they align are feelings that astrologers must come to understand through deep evolutions of the soul- think like this.... Linda Goodman would never tell you that you will meet your true love in 2010, and she's a great astrologer.

Stop looking to the stars for answer(excuses), start focusing your eyes on the great hilarity of it all. Say this 10 times every hour of the waking day--- I am powerless to stop what will happen to me, who I will meet, and who I will become. But fear will not guide me any longer. If I should die a thousand times, live a thousand years, and never meet another person who understood me, I will still never let fear be the host of my party.

If you carry this cross, eventually the search for another who understands you, loves you unconditionally- without paranoia on your part- will reveal itself to you. It will reveal itself to you. It will.

Then you will be firmly down the rabbit hole.

Buck up buttercup, you're alone just like the rest of us--- death would be easier, yet we live on

posted July 08, 2008 02:54 PM         

I do sincerely feel that I understand the value of being alone as well as being in a relationship. I am someone who is very use to my own company, as I was more or less an only child growing up due to the wide age gap between my brothers and I. There are other things as well, such as problems I went through at school and outside of school which lead to long periods of truancy and hermitism. But the past really is the past, so all I want to say really is that I am a person who has experienced a very large amount of solitude, but who also appreciates the value of true friendship and thrives on the company of others. People are fascinating!

If I spend a lot of time in the company of other people, I feel I need time alone again to find that sense of equilibrium which just seems to be a part of who I am.

But.....

As one said in the film Amelie, "love is a great beautician".
Love-making even boosts the immune system; this is a fact.
I've seen this for myself, as when I am in a happy relationship, a skin disorder which I suffer from disappears.

There are many things we can enjoy alone, but isn't it all so much more with a good companion to share those moments with?

That's all I am saying.

It is also more difficult to go back to being alone, I feel, when one has experienced such intimacy, though it might not have been with the "twin flame".

I know I have to be patient, and I know one day I may find him.

Meanwhile, I'll do whatever I can to make most of the here and now. "The Power Of Now".