Posts: 137
From: Santa Monica, CA
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 07, 2010 04:38 PM         

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Hi Valus, hope you're having a good day.
Just thought I'd comment on a few things you've said.
Yes, it is true that your loved ones will be hurt, but you said not because they'll miss you but because they think suicide is wrong. I don't know if that is true...They will hurt because they love you and will miss you because you are no longer with them. I wonder if you would easily let go of your partner, friend, or parents if they were to commit suicide.
The first two reasons about wandering off to a foreign country and becoming a monk, doing as one wishes...aren't the same as killing oneself. However, I can sympathize your feelings of not wanting to be constrained by society to be on earth when you don't want to. I've been interested in albert camus for his statement on suicide but he did reason out why one shouldn't do it...I don't remember what it was though. I cannot exactly argue with you why I think people shouldn't do it...I am not exactly opposed to it. I think it's for the person to decide what is worth living for; that brings us to the question of what is the meaning of life? I think it's to be happy and for love. I think a big part of me being here still is because I love and want to be loved back. If I was not loved, I may not know what to do...

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Posts: 3459
From: Still out looking for Schr�dinger's cat.........& LEXIGRAMMING... is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009

posted October 20, 2010 09:32 PM         

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I find myself thinking about it too often.
No, I am not going to.
(or at least I don't think I will?)
However I find myself researching ways to do it.
I am tired of silently crying myself to sleep, or going in another room and biting on something until the urge to cry/scream passes, (cracked a tooth doing that) or claiming my eyes are red from allergies, or my contact lenses are bothering me, or whatever.
It is probably just the last several years of one hardship after another, with still no sign of things getting better.
I do feel like I am only living for the sake of others...people and my cats.
I do enjoy my own company, but frankly all I want to do is sleep until things get better.
But I can't do that either because I am needed.
I want someone to just hold me, let me cry it out and tell me it will all get better.
There is no one however,
and I'd be too shy, and feel too emotionally naked to let go like that probably.
It seems that I am always the one holding and letting other(s) let it all out in my offline life.
So I talk throughout the days and nights, with my good discarnate friends/lovers, and they do their best to comfort me.
I love them all so much.
I find myself going off on OBEs more and more these days to hang out with them.
I am rambling I know...and will most likely feel incredibly stupid for writing all of this later.
Its just where I am at now.
On that note...
call me nutters, but I am
going to trance out and hang out with the "dead" people.

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Everyone is a teacher...
Everyone is a student...
Learning is eternal...LEXX
~Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known. ~Carl Sagan
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