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Author Topic:   postpartum depression
DepTaurus
Knowflake

Posts: 601
From: canada
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 09, 2009 11:08 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for DepTaurus     Edit/Delete Message
i did not know where to put this so i put it here in health.

i had a question about this. ok i want to know why do most women get depressed when they have a baby. i mean if i was a women and had a baby i would be so happy. how can a women get depressed after getting pregnant and then having a baby. i would think it would be the most happiest thing to ever happen to you.

i would understand that if you were a single mom then had to take care of the baby by yourself. but i dont know.

i mean it seems like a pretty wonderful time in your life. you get to eat whatever you want. anytime you want it. get pampered make your husband get out of bed at 1am and get wendy or pizza or whatever. and they do it. i would be so happpy to just lie around and watch tv all day. why didnt men get pregnant instead of women seems like it fits our profile more than it does women.


ladies any insights seriously cause this is getting on my mind. did you feel this way during or after.

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katatonic
Knowflake

Posts: 1198
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 09, 2009 11:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for katatonic     Edit/Delete Message
it's mostly down to chemical/hormonal reactions. being pregnant also affects different people in different ways. some are exuberant, radiant and full of vitality and others are nauseous, weak, depressed DURING pregnancy.

a major shift in hormones also occurs right after delivery, which can send some people into a tailspin. emotionally and physically.

then there is the sudden REALITY of having a baby, very different to the EXPECTATIONS. it may be wonderful, but it is also fraught with responsibility and for first time mothers especially, adjustments to suddenly being on tap 24/7 to someone who cannot do without you....we may think this would be pure wonder/joy but it can also be stifling/constricting and if you have any self-doubt (what's that??) at all it can create major anxiety.

of course 2nd and 3rd babies can also upset the emotional balance. my experience includes seeing many mothers who thought they had it down completely flummoxed by a later child who just doesn't react/ act like the others.

so i guess motherhood is a great joy and somthing a lot of people feel will complete them, but ultimately it cannot complete you and lays a multitude of incessant responsibilities in your lap that may or may not seem impossible to deal with....

just a start!

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Azalaksh
Moderator

Posts: 439
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 09, 2009 12:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Azalaksh     Edit/Delete Message
"Lie around and watch TV all day"?!?!?!?
quote:
ok i want to know why do most women get depressed when they have a baby.
Curious why you say "most" women get post-partum depression.... ?? One study showed that 12-20% of new moms suffer.....
And I just don't see men like Andrea Yates' husband running out to get their pregnant wives Wendy's at 1am :-\

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lalalinda
Moderator

Posts: 190
From: nevada
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 09, 2009 06:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lalalinda     Edit/Delete Message
My heart breaks for Andrea Yates.

I went through this with my oldest daughter.
There is no rhyme or reason to what you are feeling.
I would watch my baby daughter cry (for diaper or feeding) and I would be overwhelmed with the thought that anyone would ever hurt her or make her cry or suffer in any way. I wanted to spare her the heartache of life.
I very nearly killed her and myself.

What stopped me is that I knew something was wrong, I knew I wasn't thinking right and Thank God for my family who stayed with me through the tears.

I did see a Dr. and I found out that I'm not the only mother who has been overwhelmed with emotion after birth. It's more common than you think and for me it was caused by a hormonal imbalance.

Because of my own post partum depression I can understand Andrea and I know that when the full realization of what she did hits her, it will be very, very hard to live with. I pray for her and her babies

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DepTaurus
Knowflake

Posts: 601
From: canada
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 09, 2009 06:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DepTaurus     Edit/Delete Message
well zala i used most women because some women have it harder than others when dealing with postpartum depression. not all women can get like that. im guessing. i asked my mother and she said she never went threw it because she didnt have time to worry about getting depressed she was actually reallly happy when me and my sister came along.i guess she didnt have time to be depressed cause she had both of us to worry about and take care of.

same thing with all my grandmas and aunts.

aside from andrea yates husband most men would do anythng to go out and get food for there pregnant wifes. i dont think every man is like russell yates.

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Azalaksh
Moderator

Posts: 439
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 09, 2009 07:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Azalaksh     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
well zala i used most women because some women have it harder than others
There's a big difference between "most" and "some" -- at least in my mind, Dep
It's likely that post-partum depression is under-reported and under-diagnosed, but that doesn't mean I support The Mothers Act.....
quote:
i dont think every man is like russell yates.
Good Lord!! I don't think even a *small* percentage of men are like Andrea Yates husband (thank heaven).....
And it's nice that your mom didn't go thru post-partum depression -- but I don't think "not having the time for it" has anything to do with it.....
I didn't have any issues with it either, after the birth of my son, and I had six weeks of "the time for it"

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katatonic
Knowflake

Posts: 1198
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 10, 2009 12:04 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for katatonic     Edit/Delete Message
i completely missed the "most of" part of that! i don't think most women suffer from the baby blues at all, but enough do that it has a "nickname" and we've all met someone who went through it. there is a big hormonal change on HAVING the baby that affects everyone differently. i have to admit i felt it somewhat, not enough to throw me but enough to make me wonder what i had gotten into at times!

before you have your baby you don't really get how much there is to do. i cannot imagine sitting around watching tv while hubby does everything you ask!! what a riot!! mine nearly threw the dinner out the window one night when i couldn't finish it AND calm the babe down at the same time and asked him to do it!

some people think they will just have this lovely bundle of love to cuddle and swaddle and it will love them to death and everything will be cozy and gorgeous. well, welcome to puke and spit and being peed on; some people take to mothering like ducks to water, and some of us have to learn by trial and error. daunting, yes. depressing, i couldn't allow myself to get depressed in the face of such an important job - but plenty do and i don't blame them.

heard of PMS DepT? a lot of people don't suffer from it, but it is very real for a lot of others....chemistry?

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DepTaurus
Knowflake

Posts: 601
From: canada
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 10, 2009 02:26 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for DepTaurus     Edit/Delete Message
can one of the moderators lock this thread please.

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lalalinda
Moderator

Posts: 190
From: nevada
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 10, 2009 12:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lalalinda     Edit/Delete Message
It's not that bad DepTaurus, you just didn't know.
In a way there is no real way to understand it unless you've gone through it.
I'm sure there are people who don't believe it can be that extreme but it can be.

wishing you light and love

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Azalaksh
Moderator

Posts: 439
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 10, 2009 07:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Azalaksh     Edit/Delete Message
Dep ~
quote:
if i was a women and had a baby i would be so happy. how can a women get depressed after getting pregnant and then having a baby. i would think it would be the most happiest thing to ever happen to you.
Kudos to you for both your curiosity and your warm heart
But "finding out you're pregnant = being happy" isn't an absolute.....
What if you were a hooker and crack addict who just found out she was pregnant??
What if you were a woman who was barely making ends meet and already has six kids??
What if you were a wife whose husband beats her when he gets drunk every weekend??
What if you were a 16yo girl who was planning to go to college??
What if you knew you were passing on hemophilia, Huntington's Disease, cystic fibrosis or HIV/AIDS to your baby??

Just some examples of hypothetical* people who might not be thrilled to be bringing a new life into the world.....

*the first example isn't hypothetical. Years ago, I was at a friend's house, and we went down to the basement to look for a box of books and found his younger brother and a young woman who was 6 months pregnant down there smoking crack
I nearly vomited and I was so angry!! I wish that the crime of attempted murder would apply in cases like this..... that girl hated her unborn child and didn't want to have anything to do with it or with the responsibility of bringing a new life into the world and caring for it -- she was a drug addict and her habit was all that mattered.....

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DepTaurus
Knowflake

Posts: 601
From: canada
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 10, 2009 09:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DepTaurus     Edit/Delete Message
oh wow that is disgusting how can you smoke crack when your 6 months pregnant wouldnt someone say hey you should not do that i would vomit to zala.

i guess i should have made things a little more specific. i should have said a couple or a woman and a man who are in love and have a marriage. instead of just all women in general. cause it seems like your really upset zala and i didnt want to do that. i just wanted to ask the question. so sorry if i offended you.

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Azalaksh
Moderator

Posts: 439
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 10, 2009 09:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Azalaksh     Edit/Delete Message
Dep, I'm not upset, and I'm not offended -- no worries
Hopefully, by explaining my interpretations and giving my opinions/point of view, I'm helping you to be a bit more aware of how someone can react due to how you express your thoughts

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hippichick
Knowflake

Posts: 65
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted August 13, 2009 09:20 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message
The following is an extream case of post partum depression, and I almost did not post it...however it does show what the tremendous hormonal shift that takes place after child birth can do...granted this lady was psychotic way before she even got pregnant, but it took the shift of hormones that had been building up for nine months for her psychotic mind to do what she did.
http://www.ksat.com/news/20214868/detail.html

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