posted April 15, 2012 06:18 AM            

I feel that I'm the weakest link at work, that people are looking down on me/ feel exasperated by me and that I don't fit in due to people looking down on me for the reasons above. I'm not just imagining it- I've picked up on enough signs that this is the case during my time there. What's worse is I've always felt this way- that I've never fitted in and for a large part of my adult life I isolated myself and avoided people, which in turn also adversely affected my self esteem and made me feel I hadn't achieved/ contributed anything to society.

Sometimes I feel so worthless that I wonder if I even deserve to be living.

I hate being this way.
On one hand it would be great to get beamed above a spaceship by benevolent aliens who could do something to heal the problems in my brain causing these things and give it a sort of revamp so that my mental and cognitive abilities can be fast and excellent.

On the other hand if people are shallow and bitchy enough to look down on people with problems such as mentioned, who clearly aren't like it on purpose and who are good in other ways, caring and kind.....maybe it isn't just me and people like me who are lacking, but others for lacking tolerance and empathy, and don't give much thought regarding how some of their words or actions could be very hurtful?

However aside from this, bills need to be paid and I, as everyone, would like to feel that there is at least something I am good at and that I can contribute, so until I find what this is, having some sense of self worth is going to perhaps be a battle.

posted April 15, 2012 08:15 AM            

Brain fog is a common condition. It affects people of all ages and is characterized by a state of confusion and a decreased level of clarity. Brain fog can cause an individual to be abnormally forgetful and detached. It can also lead to a feeling of discouragement and depression.

It is estimated that brain fog affects thousands of people, contributing to a host of problems at school, at work, and even at home. It can contribute to low self-esteem and may cause or exacerbate relationship problems. Some people even assert that brain fog can lead to crime and delinquency as well.

Despite the fact that brain fog is a common problem, it is not well recognized within medical or psychology-related fields. It is not considered a real diagnosis, yet many individuals claim to have suffered from it for years. In fact, those who believe the condition should be recognized as a medical disorder assert that some people suffer from it their entire lives, believing they are functioning as normal.

The causes of brain fog are many and include physical, emotional, and biochemical factors. There may even be spiritual causes of brain fog. As far as physical causes are concerned, fatigue is considered the most common. The brain needs a high amount of energy in order to function properly. When an individual is too tired, the brain can suffer and brain fog can set in.

Brain fog may also develop as a result of a variety of other physical conditions, including, but not limited to, adrenal exhaustion, food and chemical reactions, and nutritional deficiencies. It may also be caused by stress, depression, or denial. In fact, brain fog may provide an escape to individuals dealing with high levels of stress or conflict. By retreating into a fog, individuals are able to avoid the sadness, frustration, and anger typical of stressful situations.

Some people with long-lasting brain fog believe that they are stupid and simply unable to think clearly. However, this is not the case. Those with knowledge and experience with the condition assert that it is not a result of low intelligence, but a real disorder with causes, symptoms, and treatments.

posted April 19, 2012 08:00 PM            

If you have kundalini or are ungrounded, try wearing a sandalwood wrist mala or bracelet on your left hand (focusing and grounding) or something else that is grounding and helps with mental focus like hematite. For a while I couldn't work without hematite. You could try david wolfe's grounding mats/sheets too. I had to find a mindless job to do and take it easy for a while personally.

Rudraksha have also been most beneficial to me. You'd have to research how to activate and use them, keeping in mind that india loves selling fake ones (try amma.org for legit). The four, five, and six mukhi rudraksha should all help for your situation, and I can attest that an energized rudraksha worked wonders for me personally. The rudraksha I listed should be legit in most circumstances, and you're not supposed to wear them on your period, but they're worth a go.

If you wanna get more exotic, you can try a sadhana to the god or ruler of mercury. There are details as to how to do that in the book The Greatness of Saturn, and reading that in itself may prove beneficial to lighten your karma. If you're in the states you can interlibrary loan it.

I'm sorry people are cruel and hurtful. Lately I've been using Byron Katie to try to see their actions in myself, whether externalized or internalized and I usually end up laughing as I do the same thing to myself or others or have in the past. Reading the line.. "Sometimes I feel so worthless that I wonder if I even deserve to be living." I think I can see their cruelty reflected in your own internalized dialogue, and I have never seen a post from you that I did not think was balanced and insightful in some way.

posted April 20, 2012 08:09 AM            

I went to the doctors yesterday and sorted a few things that may help.

Kundalini is a possibility, I didn't think of that. First of all though I need to rule out other possible factors that may be causing it. Sleep deprivation (I suffer from insomnia) could be one (sleep deprivation is a well known cause). Anxiety and depression can cause it too. Then there are things like vitamin deficiencies, hypothyroidism (as you suggested), ADD, toxins, diabetes, viral induced damage....etc etc. Lack of adequate oxygen to the brain maybe too......allergies.

I'm not sure on the cause, but I do know that my development in the area of common sense/ practical ability/ spacial awareness etc was slower than average. It is possible that as a child not getting out enough and doing enough could be a factor.

My mother is also very scatterbrained, seems to have a little OCD, and also suffers from insomnia. It is possible that it could be genetic. My father is a bit slow too, and when they did a brain scan not long ago (he was in hospital with a virus that at first was suspected to be a stroke) they found degeneration in it that would normally only be found in someone much older, but they did not know the cause...some kind of trauma though that had happened some time in the past (not recently), such as viral damage.

posted April 21, 2012 02:33 AM            

Brain Fog/Fibro Fog in Fibromyalgia & Chronic Fatigue Syndrome http://chronicfatigue.about.com/od/symptoms/a/brainfog.htm

This describes me to a tee:

quote:

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Brain Fog Symptoms

Symptoms of brain fog can range from mild to severe. They frequently vary from day to day, and not everyone has all of them. Symptoms include:
•Word use & recall: Difficulty recalling known words, use of incorrect words, slow recall of names.

•Short-term memory problems: Forgetfulness, inability to remember what's read or heard.

•Directional disorientation: Not recognizing familiar surroundings, easily becoming lost, having trouble recalling where things are.

•Multitasking difficulties: Inability to pay attention to more than one thing, forgetfulness of original task when distracted.

•Confusion & trouble concentrating Trouble processing information, easily distracted.

•Math/number difficulties: Difficulty performing simple math, remembering sequences, transposing numbers, trouble remembering numbers.

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posted April 21, 2012 02:50 AM            

Just know you arent the only one going through these things okay?

posted May 01, 2012 05:16 AM            

quote:

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Ideal cookbook for many health conditions: The Gluten-Free Vegan is a groundbreaking cookbook, combining both special diets for healthier, allergy-free eating. Millions of Americans have health conditions like celiac disease, fibromyalgia, or food allergies that require a gluten- and/or dairy-restricted diet. In addition, going vegetarian/vegan is fast becoming mainstream, and many vegans are also looking to cut gluten from their diet. The Gluten-Free Vegan offers solutions for anyone seeking a tasty approach to healthier eating. Quick, easy, and delicious recipes: Written by a food-allergy sufferer and gourmet cook, this collection includes more than 150 healthy recipes for a wide range of dishes that are both gluten-free and vegan. The cookbook also includes guidelines of each dietary restriction, information on sugars, raw foods and organic foods, advice on ingredient preparation, quick-cooking tips, and resources for easily finding ingredients.

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http://www.amazon.com/The-Gluten-Free-Vegan-Delicious- Animal-Free/dp/1600940323/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1335863759&sr=8-1

posted May 10, 2012 04:23 AM            

I hate to be rushed!!!

Check out some videos over on the youtube about empaths....and empathy...