posted September 19, 2012 02:41 PM            

Has anybody ever had to do this?

Alot of you know about my issues with Virgos in my lifetime (all 50 years of it) which stem greatly from my Virgo mother and our past.

I had a reading a palm reading by a coworker the other day, a VERY gifted Persian lady that took one look at my palm described my "man problems" and told me it was due to my mother never being there for me, my mother not raising me and not showing me the way.

I almost fell over in the ICU~so, so correct!

So, once again, I have drug out this portiait of me, when I was about 4, my dear grandparents (who really raised me, Scoprio granny, Cancer granddad and little lost Pisces girl) had on their fireplace mantel for years and placed in in my room so when I go to bed at night and when I wake in the morn I talk to her and raise her as she should have been.

Anybody ever had to do anything similar?

I really had to "raise" myself, while my grandparents were great, I still needed a mommy and a daddy which I never had and I had to be both to myself from 4 years on...

Thoughts?

blessins'

posted September 27, 2012 10:18 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Yin:
Yes, I have crazy abandonment issues that I believe have manifested into my weight problems, anxiety etc. Being kind to yourself is not easy either. One step at a time.

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posted November 06, 2012 05:45 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hippichick:
Cliche I know, perhaps the more accurate term would healing our past selves as children~

Has anybody ever had to do this?

Alot of you know about my issues with Virgos in my lifetime (all 50 years of it) which stem greatly from my Virgo mother and our past.

I had a reading a palm reading by a coworker the other day, a VERY gifted Persian lady that took one look at my palm described my "man problems" and told me it was due to my mother never being there for me, my mother not raising me and not showing me the way.

I almost fell over in the ICU~so, so correct!

So, once again, I have drug out this portiait of me, when I was about 4, my dear grandparents (who really raised me, Scoprio granny, Cancer granddad and little lost Pisces girl) had on their fireplace mantel for years and placed in in my room so when I go to bed at night and when I wake in the morn I talk to her and raise her as she should have been.

Anybody ever had to do anything similar?

I really had to "raise" myself, while my grandparents were great, I still needed a mommy and a daddy which I never had and I had to be both to myself from 4 years on...

Thoughts?

blessins'

terri~

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I can so relate to this as I am sorting through my issues from childhood. My inner child is so very sad and angry at her bio mom and wondering why she was not adopted into a loving, caring and supportive family.

My bio-mother was not nurturing, supportive or caring. The divorce devastated her and she made men a top priority. She became a wife and decided that she was not obligated to guide me, support me or nurture me - her duty was to her husband and his kids.

My maternal grandparents had to step in and guide me in life and I don't know what I would have done without them and their love and support. They brought stability and comfort into my life. The day dad died was the most devastating thing I experienced and there still is a gaping hole in my life without him. My mom died a few years later.

Now I have no family.

I was in touch with the bio-mother but her family is a bunch of bullies and she is very conditional with a lot of double standards - she recently told me that I did not need her and her association with me was unacceptable.

I am currently in therapy for abandonment issues - this links to my commitment phobia. There is also a lot of self hatred and my self worth is not so hot right now. Out in the world, I don't feel safe venturing out in public - I get fearful and frustrated.

A psychologist I know brought up the inner child and I have started working with Little Red. Back in 1993, when I first started doing some Inner Child work, I wrote down a bunch of exercises to work with my inner child. I answered most of the questions and put it away - back in the 90s.

I was still very much enmeshed in the dysfunction with the family who didn't want me.

Dad was a Cancer and Mom was a nice Taurus lady and me the Aries. I got along well with them. The bio-parents were Gemini and Leo and we didn't mesh.

posted November 07, 2012 09:22 AM            

I am so sorry you are going through this.

Gawd, so many people are so flippin selfish and dont care what they might be doing to another, especially a child.

I come from a long line of women emotional abusers on the maternal side. And I stopped it, it did not progress with my daughters.

At that time in my life, when they were young I was not aware of the effects of my dysfunctional upbringing, but I never said a negative word to my kids, that is not me anyway.

Their dad's upbringing was emotionally and physically abusive, but he, somehow did not pass it on to his kids, literally, tho was horribly emotionally abusive to me.

Tho I do think that those of us who are "aware" and are doing something about it so save what is left of ourselvs, are helping the masses somehow.

I ran across this book years ago, and I have it somewhere, but you can get alot of good info from his website as well.

Be blessed and thank you for sharing your story....

posted November 07, 2012 09:28 AM            

There is much wisdom in pain~

posted November 08, 2012 09:56 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
For what it's worth I'll share about how I helped to mitigate to outright stop nightmares (and possibly even help my PTSD). It was because of my nightmares where doors wouldn't lock, I couldn't defend myself, and guns wouldn't work, and there was just a paralyzing sense of dread & fear. Then I realized that this was me as a child.

So I practiced some self-hypnosis and saw myself raising child-me, turning my child into an adult with the skills and abilities I have now. And after a few months it had a noticeable effects which lessened my nightmares and I continued so that now I only rarely have them, even in October, and I don't know if it's coincidence or not but my PTSD is no longer as powerful as it once was.

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posted November 09, 2012 12:33 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hippichick:
Cynn

I am so sorry you are going through this.

Gawd, so many people are so flippin selfish and dont care what they might be doing to another, especially a child.

I come from a long line of women emotional abusers on the maternal side. And I stopped it, it did not progress with my daughters.

At that time in my life, when they were young I was not aware of the effects of my dysfunctional upbringing, but I never said a negative word to my kids, that is not me anyway.

Their dad's upbringing was emotionally and physically abusive, but he, somehow did not pass it on to his kids, literally, tho was horribly emotionally abusive to me.

Tho I do think that those of us who are "aware" and are doing something about it so save what is left of ourselvs, are helping the masses somehow.

I ran across this book years ago, and I have it somewhere, but you can get alot of good info from his website as well.

Be blessed and thank you for sharing your story....

t~~~
http://www.woundedsouls.com/

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Thank you and you're welcome!

posted November 10, 2012 04:28 AM            

Many thanks, PixieJane for the PTSD suggestion. I have PTSD and a whole new layer (ugh! lol) came up during the recession when all of my pre-existing work stopped suddenly. I have a lot of jaw/tongue/upper body/holding breath tension, it wakes me up in terror at night, and little financial flow. (It's the "freeze response".)
I am going to try your suggestion, I love the self-re-empowerment of it!