posted April 03, 2012 06:49 AM            

Do you think that, when some groups have suffered, or when there has been fighting between two or more groups, that people should focus more on remembering the past wrongs, or that people should mutually agree to reconcile and move forward?

On the side of remembering, I can see how some would feel that it would be dishonoring people who suffered if they did not remember what happened before. I can see too how people would want to make tribute to people who went through a lot of pain at the expense of others, and how people would want to prevent similar things from happening in the future. I can also see how people who may not have been given a voice in the past would obviously want one now.

On the other hand, though, on the side of healing, how can people who've fought each other in the past possibly move forward without forgiveness? If things are constantly brought up, old wounds constantly opened, how can people ever come together? And, too, should people living now be punished for sins of the past that they themselves never committed? Should people be punished or demonized simply for being born into a certain group or class when they have no control over who their parents or ancestors are?

I also can't help but feel that, if you never invite your enemies/former enemies to the table or to the conversation, this not only impedes negotiations and mutual understanding, but also creates further tension and resentment. Yes, obviously, don't invite the sort of enemies who have no intention of making peace, and who would only cause further harm, but if you don't reach out to people who are reachable, sensible, reasonable, and civil, how are you going to accomplish your goals? If neither side will speak to each other, how will either be able to go on and move forward?

I admittedly can sometimes get caught up in the heat of the moment/in anger when it comes to men, and I have to remind myself of this sometimes. It's something that I personally need to work on. On the one hand, I certainly am NOT all right with sexual violence or other forms of sexual misconduct, such as street harassment, sexual harassment, and other things of that nature--it's one of the things that deeply offends and angers me. However, obviously, not all men are bad, and it's not fair to demonize all men for the sins of some, which, admittedly, I can be guilty of doing. This can be applied to other things, too.

I honestly feel torn. On the one hand, forgetting the past doesn't do anyone any good--if you forget, you're doomed to repeat. On the other hand, though, if you can't try to move forward, you're also doomed to repeat.

I suppose where I would be is the middle path: remember the past, but work together for healing in ways that are constructive and positive for both sides. Easier said than done, very hard to do, sometimes almost impossible and laden with setbacks.

posted April 03, 2012 04:38 PM            

I personally think that should be taken with a grain of salt--after all, some people literally have the belief "you have to forgive me and that means I get to do it again without any consequences"--but I can see the point of it.

posted May 19, 2012 09:37 AM            

I mean, yeah, people should acknowledge that wrongs were done, but I don't see any point in continuing to hate and build divisiveness. Plus, on a pragmatic side, you NEED people from the "other side" on your team if you want your goals met. By hating them, you alienate them. No one is going to sympathize with your aims if you just hate them and think that they're all bad, or make vitriolic remarks.