posted June 14, 2014 04:07 AM            

If we'd met in person, it would've been the 'across the crowded room' kind. Not because of sparks flying. More akin to the way you go to meet a dear friend in a busy location.

The fact we didn't know each other existed a month ago, is a bit head-spinning. The fact we now talk everyday in some written, distance medium is phenomenal.

Yes, he was born where I was.
Yes, he's familiar with the state where I am. (We'll leave it there.)

He's important to me. I knew that almost immediately. The way I became treasured by him is, not only astounding, but merely mutual.

He's a soul brother. He's a friend. He's a confidante. He's a partner. He's a companion.

We need each other so, so much right now. While we're both trying to catch our collective breath here, we're loving the rush and the ride.

He challenges me with JUST the right questions; getting me to think and feel in powerful ways.

I push him to grow and evolve; to repair the painful past by taking his future by the reins.

His tragic story is like mine. Except he never told her who he was. He regrets it to this day.

Through each other, we make amends.
Together, we build a better tomorrow in an effort to resolve tragic yesterdays.

He has the expertise knowledge of the physical brain I lack, and I have the psychology he needs. We create a synthesis together. He wrote in my universe, for the hell of it, and birthed an origin story that brought a 15 year old story into focus that's given the whole project new life.

I cannot say enough about this man, except offer gratitude to the Universe, and enjoy the mutual benefit we provide each other.

True friends. Real confidantes. Powerful agents of change.

I'm letting go of my own pain in my past, too. He's helping me do it. Finally, FINALLY let go.

And, now that he's here, creating some bizarre bridge between my Twin and my Guardian, I feel like I'm going to be okay. I can let go, and it's OKAY.

Even if he brings me somehow closer -- to confront more, and face what I've been avoiding -- I FEEL like I can let him go.

Because I don't NEED him anymore! Not while he's like this! Hurting me.

I have love! I have companionship! I have friendship! I have positivity and evolution.

I confided things I never thought I would; I've been emotional and expressive and ranting and venting. And he gets it. He GETS it. I don't feel like I'm having to explain myself. I'm just being, IN my emotions, and it's wonderful.

I even emailed my Twin. I was honest and brief.

I apologised for being unable to maintain a friendship. I explained I distanced because I was afraid he would break my heart. But I forgave him for doing so. I wish I could share in whatever future happiness I want him to have, should he someday, but I asked that he understand that I can't. My feelings run too deep, and I'm afraid they always will.

I wished him well. Genuinely.

And then I decided ... I'm done.

It's hard. It's ALWAYS hard. But my karma partner here makes it doable. He helps it be okay in the day-to-day, by being supportive, just the right kind of provocative, and a real friend.

posted June 14, 2014 10:49 AM            

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Originally posted by sc0rpioRising:
Its sounds like u have turned a corner.. well done... i thinkthe way I feel about my karmic soulmate.. i never want to see him again.. and im certain he feels the same way. The pain was so much.. i look back and i hatemyself for ever looking at him and he brought out the absolute weakest and worst side in me. Never again.

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Karmic soulmates come in all flavours, sc0rpio.

I think because I'm further along this part of my journey now, I'm being gifted with the fortune to meet and experience the ones who can not only help me, but that I can help, too.

Just wait until I tell you about some of my karmic soulmates of yesteryear!

I call him a 'karmic partner' because of the way we're both working to clear negative karma and establish positive patterns.

The fact his SUN is exactly on my NESSUS is interesting. Maybe that it's conjunct my CERES is what softens the guy up? Either way, he seeks to transform others, if a bit forcefully.

His age also helps me clear age-related karma, as I've had some issues with that bunch. The 'soulmate who got away' has my godsister's birthday -- exactly!

Just as he wrote me today, 'I'm not one for synchronicity, but knowing you is straining my faith in the meaninglessness of coincidence.'

Pretty wonderful, no?

I wonder what's with me and these physical scientists! My Twin is one, several of my soulmates are in science, and my Guardian Soulmate studied military science -- so, a soft (social) science, like me. My husband also studied chemistry -- like my Twin.

posted June 14, 2014 10:51 AM            

One of my absolute worst had his MARS right on my VENUS! Along with JUPITER there -- with my ASC!

posted June 15, 2014 12:14 PM            

Mercury Wretch has really got you in its grip. That's a private library I can't view. Heh!

posted June 16, 2014 12:52 AM            

Though, truthfully, I've given up on the whole thing. But, for research purposes, I'm happy to oblige.

HIS HOUSES / MY OVERLAYS:

posted June 16, 2014 01:32 AM            

• his SATURN-KARMA-SNODE conjunct my MOON-URA-ANGEL.

The fact it's URA intrigues, since it's also his chartruler, and my 6R, where my SNODE is placed, in AQU, which is =VENUS/MARS and PSYCHE/EROS, 1°.

• our JUNO conjunct ALMA

iQ has delineated this natal aspect as being one that confers a soul-mission regarding unconditional love and evaluating and removing the obstacles to it in romantic relationships. The fact we each have it natally, (1° or > ) is very telling. In our composite, it's an exact aspect.

• his ANGEL is also conjunct his ALMA-JUNO, as well as mine.

• KARMA-DESTINN linkage

This is a sneakier one. We each have them 6° apart, though not conjunct. Mine are parallel. They are conjunct less than 1° in the composite, and 12H. Each make some significant aspects synastrically, too:

- my LILITH conjunct his DESTINN
- his PRIAPUS conjunct my KARMA

- his EROS square my DESTINN
- my PSYCHE quincunx his DESTINN

- his PLUTO conjunct my KARMA
- my PERSEPHONE quincunx his DESTINN

- his DESTINN square my OSIRIS
- my ISIS square his KARMA

- my PRIAPUS quincunx his DESTINN
- his LILITH conjunct my MOON
- my MOON conjunct his KARMA
- his KARMA conjunct my ANGEL
- my DESTINN quincunx his ANGEL
- his CHIRON quincunx my KARMA
- my DESTINN conjunct his VALENTINE

... several things. All within 3° orb.

• his ASC exactly conjunct my VERTEX
(My ASC is 7° from his.)

• as mentioned, my SNODE is 18° AQU, which is 1° of his PSYCHE/EROS and VENUS/MARS
Midpoint.

• we each have our ISIS and OSIRIS at 8°, but in opposite phases. It makes a 1° conjunction in our composite.

• his MARS is quindecile my VENUS. Yep, it's as obsessive as you would imagine.

posted June 16, 2014 01:33 AM            

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Originally posted by MorpHnStorM:
Wow, Indigo, that's incredible and I am sooo happy to hear of this! So happy for you!

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posted June 16, 2014 01:35 AM            

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Originally posted by sc0rpioRising:
looooool! right I have taken the private settings off..... fingers crossed!!

And thank you for having a look!

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posted June 16, 2014 03:53 AM            

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Originally posted by IndigoDirae:
It's all good now, sc0rpio. I'll be travelling tomorrow, so if I don't get to it then, I will late evening or Tuesday.

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posted June 17, 2014 02:51 PM            

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Originally posted by sc0rpioRising:
Ahh thank you, i am wondering to myself why i am even bothering to look at the synastry .. he kinda ruined my life.. he brought a false sense of happiness. I think the reason we were brought together was so he can run away and live his ACTUAL dream.. which was to travel.. whuch is what he is doing right now.. and i feel a deep sense of loss.. a loss which i didnt need to feel. I dont think i could physically and mentally cope with seeing him again.. i told this to Gabby.. she said i need to learb to love myself... and thats what im trying to do.. at 29 i never thought i wud have this realisation that i dont love myself. I have also been diagbosed with ADHD and now will be taking counsalling for my self esteem. I just want him out of my head forever abd live my life happily like he is.

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Ahhh, yes. The Saturn Return 'Time To Love Thyself' lesson. I started flirting with the concept at 29 myself. Didn't really GET IT until 31. It's a hard, HARD, but EXTREMELY important lesson.

Be good to yourself. Gentler. Eat more chocolate. Take deep breaths. Punch pillows. Cry when those damned songs come on the radio (we ALL know the ones) and write a list of ten things you love about yourself.

Marvel at how hard it is -- and how easy it is to write ten negative things about yourself. Pay attention to whose 'voice' you seem to hear them being spoken by. Limit your involvement with those people. And, if you absolutely can't, work to repair the relationship.

Keep working at this simple list of ten until you DO jot down a solid ten. Then put it away. Bring it out every birthday from that point on.

posted June 17, 2014 03:23 PM            

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Originally posted by sc0rpioRising:
Ahhh thanks for the advice.. i have had many good people like yourself helping me and trust me when i say its the hardest thing.. to love myself... im trying..

Did u manage to look at the synastry? No worries if u didnt... u will just see loads of karmic points including saturn square north node... will he ever leave my mind? I have left his mind.. i need to get him out of my head and need serious help with that.

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