posted July 22, 2014 05:08 PM            

And today the most people don't really believe in staying together with just ONE person for the REST of their lives. It sounds as such a long time…

And is it possible at all? No matter how great a synastry you got, do you believe in the one and only, the one you can actually spend your life with forever? Do you believe that it's possible at all, to have such a nice synastry AND never get tired of each other/wanting to try something new?

posted July 22, 2014 06:26 PM            

I personally don't live my life in pursuit of "that one" - if i find someone that intrigues me, I'll go forward. I'm not thinking about marriage and children, I'm just going with the flow of things. I don't believe, in my own case, that there is one person meant for every other one person.

posted July 23, 2014 05:33 AM            

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Originally posted by athenegoddess:
Yes I know the one and only exists. And not only does it last a lifetime, but it lasts for eternity.

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posted July 24, 2014 02:33 AM            

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Originally posted by IV XXIV:
I believe that it is possible to stay with one person for the rest of your life, and to be completely happy with that decision.

I personally don't live my life in pursuit of "that one" - if i find someone that intrigues me, I'll go forward. I'm not thinking about marriage and children, I'm just going with the flow of things. I don't believe, in my own case, that there is one person meant for every other one person.

I guess it just comes down to who you are as a person. While I may believe that there's one specific person out there for you, or my best friend, or whomever, I don't believe there's one specific person out there for me. Get me?

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posted July 24, 2014 03:31 AM            

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Originally posted by IndigoDirae:
I don't think so. Personally, I think we grow and change so much (or at least we should, if we're constantly evolving) that we often need different sorts of partners for each leg of the journey.

We become very fortunate if we're able to limit that to one, two, or even three. If one, that's truly exceptional. Life partners are a rare gift -- and it takes a LOT of work.

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posted July 24, 2014 06:33 AM            

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Originally posted by IndigoDirae:
I don't think so. Personally, I think we grow and change so much (or at least we should, if we're constantly evolving) that we often need different sorts of partners for each leg of the journey.

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I fully agree with this To me, however, they are all different versions/partials of the same person, like holograms, as I said. But indeed, as we evolve and we become better versions of ourselves, we also meet better versions of "him/her".

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posted July 24, 2014 07:13 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by IndigoDirae:
I don't think so. Personally, I think we grow and change so much (or at least we should, if we're constantly evolving) that we often need different sorts of partners for each leg of the journey.

We become very fortunate if we're able to limit that to one, two, or even three. If one, that's truly exceptional. Life partners are a rare gift -- and it takes a LOT of work.

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posted July 25, 2014 12:26 AM            

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Originally posted by next to neptune:
I also more like meant if you think it's possible to live forever with the same person, not necessarily the "one and only". But that was what I wrote anyways…. but do you think you can live with someone for the rest of your life, without the need to find someone else, because the one you found just fit so perfect to you?

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posted July 25, 2014 12:57 AM            

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Originally posted by IV XXIV:
I don't believe I could happily and willingly live the rest of my life with one person without the need or want to find someone new. When things get boring, and I'm sure they will eventually, and I've run out of major things to learn about you/the initial adrenaline has run its course.. I will want to move on to someone new and experience them.

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Maybe it's something in your natal chart that makes you want this?

posted July 25, 2014 06:23 AM            

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Originally posted by IV XXIV:
I don't believe I could happily and willingly live the rest of my life with one person without the need or want to find someone new. When things get boring, and I'm sure they will eventually, and I've run out of major things to learn about you/the initial adrenaline has run its course.. I will want to move on to someone new and experience them.

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People evolve, you know, and they get much more interesting and exciting with age...much more interesting than any "fresh meat"...it can happen hahahaha

I think this approach allows you to see only the surface of people and yourself.

posted July 28, 2014 07:09 PM            

If it was possible to stay married to one person for life in times gone by, then it's possible now. I'm not talking about soulmates, twin flames, or any of that. I'm talking about commitment, patience, maturity, a willingness to work on the relationship, having compassion and consideration for the other person, and not depending on them to 'fill you up' completely.

I think western culture these days encourages a desire for instant gratification, and the notion that a relationship is just for our entertainment. And once the euphoria stops it's time to quit... All relationships eventually calm down on an emotional level and that's a scientific fact (it has to do with brain chemistry). Yes, you can still love them, like them, adore them, and really get along with them, but the 'new romance' feeling is not going to last forever. Or at least there'll be peaks and valleys regarding this.

Apart from excitement, there's a deeper kind of bond that comes when two people are committed to each other for life, are good and kind to each other, and can trust one another's loyalty. If our heart is no longer afraid we can open up and surrender more. It's a kind of peace.

In an ideal world, once we commit it should be for life. I know that once I commit I want it to be for life. Once I make a choice I'm gonna stick with it hard core. That's that. Ha ha, I'm a Capricorn.

I've heard the term 'love addict' before and in today's society I think this is an actual thing. A love addict is someone who is addicted to the 'high' they get from new romance, and who has trouble maintaining a lasting relationship. This is because they are always craving the next 'high'. They get off on the drama, excitement, and intrigue, of a new or unavailable love interest. They are capable of going over the top about someone, and raving about them like they're their soulmate, but then balking against the relationship if things become too normal. A long lasting, stable relationship... Where's the drama and excitement in that?

Honestly, I think it's natural for most people to feel addicted when they fall in love to some extent. But I also think it's not realistic to expect that phase of the relationship to last forever. I also think some aspects of today's society do encourage 'love addict' type behavior, if we are to believe what we see in the media. Our society moves at a faster pace these days and people are less patient in the area of romance.

However, if we do decide that we want to have a long lasting love relationship, we do need to cultivate the right attitude. We need more patience, more compassion, and more acceptance, more respect, and a fierce, no-nonsense attitude towards loyalty, when it comes to our partner. It's a good idea to set boundaries in the relationship as well.

For example, if we are already committed, spending large amounts of time around someone else, or maintaining a communication online with someone else, when we're a little (or a lot) attracted to them is a dumb idea period. If we unnecessarily encourage temptation it will cause the disintegration of any committed relationship we have. If we want to have a relationship of value that actually lasts we may need to learn how to extricate ourselves from the path of unnecessary temptation. Otherwise, if we are loose physically or emotionally there will be difficulty keeping a focus on our one chosen partner. And this is the beginning of the end...

There's always something else new or exciting around the corner for those who are not truly loyal in their mind and heart. They wind up endlessly jumping from one relationship to another, never content, until they can learn true loyalty (if ever). These people can't be depended upon and may bail at the slightest hint of imperfection, in their partner, or the relationship itself. Who wants to be with someone like that? How could you ever feel safe and trust your partner under such circumstances? The bottom line is: We can not keep our options open if we want to have long lasting love in our lives. Make a choice and stick with it.

Ups and downs will come and go. But our loyalty to our partner must remain consistent.

I think another key part to committing for life is choosing wisely. We need to pick someone who we really feel is right for us, and to also not pick an immature or troubled partner. They need to be ready for commitment. For instance, trying to save someone hopelessly irresponsible, or to tame a 'bad boy', when they are not willing change will lead to disappointment nine times out of ten. This part is really common sense.

posted July 29, 2014 07:47 AM            

I'd like to add the addiction for the first stage of romantic relationships instead of using the energy to bring romance and excitement into your long-term relationship is a form of consumerism. After five ten twenty "fixes" you realize it's the same thing and it's not about that person, it's a superficial level that prevents you from actually knowing people. They are objectified and consummated and you never get to love or be loved, which starts after the first-stage euphoria.

So don't be someone who visits over and over again the gatekeeper's little house at the gate of an immense palace with secret gardens. Go visit the palace.

posted July 29, 2014 11:23 AM            

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Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
Great posts, Lotis and Vajra!

I'd like to add the addiction for the first stage of romantic relationships instead of using the energy to bring romance and excitement into your long-term relationship is a form of consumerism. After five ten twenty "fixes" you realize it's the same thing and it's not about that person, it's a superficial level that prevents you from actually knowing people. They are objectified and consummated and you never get to love or be loved, which starts after the first-stage euphoria.

So don't be someone who visits over and over again the gatekeeper's little house at the gate of an immense palace with secret gardens. Go visit the palace.

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