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Author
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Topic: Marriage Or lack There Of
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Ann7
Knowflake Posts: 353
From: united states
Registered: May 2009
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posted July 29, 2014 08:26 PM
  
I've been with my guy for 6 years and he has yet to ask me to marry him. Besides the obvious (being a fool for waiting) I was wondering id there are any synastry indicators as to if it will ever happen or if it will never happen. IP: Logged |
lvASTRO
Knowflake Posts: 190
From: Las Vegas, NV
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted July 29, 2014 08:33 PM
Why do you feel like a fool for waiting? Have you two had the conversation? Have you let him know how you feel?Some people just don't believe in marriage. After all, it is a societal construct--a convention. I believe the choice to stay together, without marriage, can be even more powerful. Many people are in loveless marriages, feeling trapped and unable to get out. When there is no marriage, the duality is that you could leave at any moment, but are CHOOSING to stay. To me, that is a powerful notion of love and commitment in and of itself. I know I didn't answer you question, but something to ponder. If you feel loved and taken care of, and know he is committed to you, then that is 99% of most peoples' battle with love, y'know? --Sometimes afflicted Saturn can mean no marriage or delay of commitment. Look there in personal natals/composite. IP: Logged |
Ann7
Knowflake Posts: 353
From: united states
Registered: May 2009
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posted July 29, 2014 09:03 PM
I totally hear what you are saying and I agree to an extent. Yes, I've talked to him about it - not to push him because I don't want a proposal that way but because I'm confused. long story short - he asked me to marry him 6 years ago before his divorce was final. I said ask me again when you aren't married and he never did. He doesn't want to live without me, wants me to move across the country with him, he tells me I'm the equivalent of his wife, we live together, raise kids together, etc - -- but he won't make it official. Mind you, I don't want the fancy wedding, I just want to be able to call him my husband and know that we are honoring a bond. I feel like he's biding his time and stringing me along until something better comes along (?) IP: Logged |
Ann7
Knowflake Posts: 353
From: united states
Registered: May 2009
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posted July 29, 2014 09:16 PM
I have saturn retrograde in my 5th, he has natal moon square saturn and natal jupiter quincunx Saturn with his saturn falling in the 4th. IP: Logged |
DeepFreeze
Knowflake Posts: 2679
From: Pluto with Barbiegirl19
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted July 29, 2014 09:43 PM
I knew a couple... Together 12 years. Got married... Divorced in 6 months.
I've seen a few kind of like that but not quite THAT long. Not astrology related, sorry, but if you get married you have to be realistic I think in that the workings of the relationship don't change and you shouldn't expect them to.
It's a spiritual/legal binding but the effort out into it remains the same. IP: Logged |
IndigoDirae
Moderator Posts: 3449
From: Venice, California, US
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted July 29, 2014 10:45 PM
quote:
Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
I knew a couple... Together 12 years. Got married... Divorced in 6 months.
I've seen a few kind of like that but not quite THAT long. Not astrology related, sorry, but if you get married you have to be realistic I think in that the workings of the relationship don't change and you shouldn't expect them to.
It's a spiritual/legal binding but the effort out into it remains the same.
THAT. So very much THAT. Sometimes people think the piece of paper and a fancy party will change something. And it just doesn't work that way. IP: Logged |
Ann7
Knowflake Posts: 353
From: united states
Registered: May 2009
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posted July 30, 2014 05:23 AM
Guys, I hear, respect and comprehend everything you are saying but it doesn't mean that it's not important to me. Thank you for the suggestion of the saturn aspects.  IP: Logged |
viiv28
Knowflake Posts: 52
From: kaspichan
Registered: Jun 2014
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posted July 30, 2014 05:46 AM
Dear Ann7, I had posted a thread about being an "old maid" some time ago in the general forum (Astrology2). There people gave some signs of a person never getting married (in the natal chart), while this is not the situation you are in, perhaps it can still be helpful. I wanted to say add that once divorced, a man has fears of getting married again, which is normal. If it is so important to you you need to tell him very clearly that it is very important and why it is. Honestly, to me it does sound like you already ARE married anyway, but I understand how you feel --it is not about the document, but about him WANTING to tie the knot with you. I get the sense that this man loves you and honors you and if you say your wishes clearly and calmly, he will do it. IP: Logged |
lvASTRO
Knowflake Posts: 190
From: Las Vegas, NV
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted July 30, 2014 09:40 AM
quote:
Originally posted by viiv28:
Dear Ann7, I had posted a thread about being an "old maid" some time ago in the general forum (Astrology2). There people gave some signs of a person never getting married (in the natal chart), while this is not the situation you are in, perhaps it can still be helpful. I wanted to say add that once divorced, a man has fears of getting married again, which is normal. If it is so important to you you need to tell him very clearly that it is very important and why it is. Honestly, to me it does sound like you already ARE married anyway, but I understand how you feel --it is not about the document, but about him WANTING to tie the knot with you. I get the sense that this man loves you and honors you and if you say your wishes clearly and calmly, he will do it.
👍 Read up about Saturn in the 4th. I bet you his inner security and need for it in the home life is probably shaken up a bit. It can create fear of commitment. Also, Saturn in the 5th is not an easy placement. It is the enemy of 5h/Leo and can definitely quell your optimism. Stay strong and let him know it is important to you. If he loves you, he will value that. IP: Logged |
Ann7
Knowflake Posts: 353
From: united states
Registered: May 2009
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posted July 30, 2014 05:57 PM
Thank you so much, It's appreciated!!! And, yes, we basically are married but not "officially". We love each others kids like our own, my 3 year old grandson calls him grandpa... There is a very deep commitment. At the same time if something were to happen the other person couldn't handle the affairs or be allowed in the hospital room (morbid but part of life) there is no security. I've offered to share everything I have with him (property sales, inheritance, etc) - he wants me to move from Florida to California and is willing to take all of the kids -- He will do all these things but he doesn't want to get married and it completely floors me as to why not. (I apologize for repeating what I've already written). You are right, it's about him wanting to. We have had discussions that turn into fights (because he makes a face similar to someone smelling something foul when I try to bring it up, lol - funny but it hurts). My biggest fear is that as my resentment builds my love for him will fade (once it's gone it doesn't come back). I'm afraid he'll ask me after I'm over it and it will be too late. I'm really confused. Anyway, sorry for rambling. Thank you again for all of your advice!!!IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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