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Author Topic:   friends say I should close the door
sis
Knowflake

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posted August 25, 2014 11:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sis     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have posted this chart before without astreoids... It's a complicated and a long story Let me give you the basicss..

- highschool classmates
- on / off affair for 5 years

we started on the wrong foot... At the early stages I think I was disrespectful and very careless with him... He was no angel either... but still I think I shed the first blood... Yeah, I did some stupid things.. Anyway, I tried to get away from him so many times he did not let me go... I could not say no.. It has been 8 months since he is seeing another woman but he is not loyal. When I learned about the other woman, I told him not to call me till he is finished with her.. But well we kept on having sex and I kept playing on repeat... I deleted him from facebook, told him not to call me but he did.. Kept sending me messages and travelled out of town to come wisit me in a farm house.. I forced his hand.. and once again told him not to call me... aghhh it's so complicated because I am a very complex creature...

my friends are fed up and they advise me not to answer if he calls again...

but I love him, we are pretty close in our own private world and sex is great. And I know that he loves me as a friend/sex partner ? the last time we argued his lips were trembling and he was about to cry.. but but aghh I am so confused about him..

here is our synastry.. shall I answer his call or shall I bury the love ?

[IMG]http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l629/thechironicdance/02dff69a- 6c04-4951-99ee-6b48a95558a3.gif[/IMG]

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IndigoDirae
Knowflake

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From: Venice, California, US
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posted August 25, 2014 11:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for IndigoDirae     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by sis:
... aghhh it's so complicated because I am a very complex creature...

Sounds pretty part and parcel.

Lemme try and get this clear, though. You met in high school and dated off and on for five years after? What's happened in all the years in between? Were you in touch?

Isn't he a little old to be playing this game? Late thirties? Seriously? I think on that alone your friends are giving sound advice.

I'd suggest changing your house system, as I suspect 8H/5H overlay shenanigans.

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LeeLoo2014
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From: Venus cornering Neptune
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posted August 26, 2014 06:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for LeeLoo2014     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Not if he has a relationship! Would you like to be in her place?

Use your energy and time only with men who are single, sis.

------------------

I seem to have loved you in numberless forms...

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sis
Knowflake

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posted August 26, 2014 07:11 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sis     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
no, we were not in touch. He found me via a friend... And yes he is 40. And yes when you change the house system, the moon falls in the 8th house...

and yes I know I should not be with a man who has a relationship. It's just whenever he called me to see me, I thought he ended it. Fooling myself perhaps.. I have mars conjunct neptune in my natal chart and we have it in our synastry as well.. I am capable of creating illusions about my men.

yeap, glup, I have to put an end to this..

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Enneline
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posted August 26, 2014 07:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Enneline     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Who is who? And are you sure about the TOB?

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sis
Knowflake

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posted August 26, 2014 07:29 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sis     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I am the Capricorn, he is the Scorpio.

Yes, TOB is correct

My heart is sinking at this very moment

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libran_dream
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posted August 26, 2014 08:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for libran_dream     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The chart isn't showing up for me.

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Enneline
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posted August 26, 2014 08:23 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Enneline     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Can't you go to astro.com and choose "web" and "placidus". That would make it far easier for me to read the synastry

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sis
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posted August 26, 2014 08:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sis     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
here is the plasidus version..

[IMG]http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l629/thechironicdance/2913fa2c- ad2e-4a1d-816a-c37889ece0c8.gif[/IMG]

thank you..

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Enneline
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posted August 26, 2014 08:56 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Enneline     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Argh...

Grand Trine & Grand Cross. No wonder you feel like not being able to get out of that "relationship"

I need some time interpreting that chart...I will get back to you

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IndigoDirae
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From: Venice, California, US
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posted August 26, 2014 11:58 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for IndigoDirae     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ahh, okay.

Yeah, he's naturally inclined to direct his emotional energy into sexual matters with you (MOON/8H overlay).

You've also got a SNODE-MOON conjunction. There's some karmic residue going on there, regarding your MOON. So he's clearly owed you something in that area. 5H. I wonder if you were supposed to clear the debt by having a child together -- which, obviously, this man isn't anywhere near ready for. Hm. There are other ways to use the 5H -- free and easy non-committal love affairs. So, THAT you've done.

Also, you've got NESSUS but no DEJANIRA (157). To understand sexual obsession (which it sounds like) we need both. Add in PRIAPUS, too -- h22.

And it's a Mutable Cross. You can work with that. Especially by clearing the karma. I'd look at progressions, honestly, to see if that's done.

The rest is probably good old-fashioned addiction. 21 days can start putting a dent in that.

Have you studied limerence, sis? You might find a lot there that can help you.
http://www.match.com/magazine/article/12710/Is-It-Love-Or-Limerence/

And before you go, 'oh, no way -- that's not it at all, I'm just confused -- it's just extremely complex,' -- know that my husband only knew limerence before he met me. I've spent the last several years teaching him what legitimate love is about. He had no concept, and still longs for the limerent feeling when times get rough. His mistakes MY love for him to 'not really be love' because it's not limerence.

Anyhow. Have a look. You'd be surprised how pervasive limerence is -- and how much it can mess up human relationships.

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Enneline
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posted August 26, 2014 12:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Enneline     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The several Grand trines consisting of
1) Pallas/ Psyche and Moon/node/Pluto
2) Lilith Pschye and Amor or Merc/Ur and Amor

are enough to suggest a deep, karmic and fascinating involvment and I don't believe it's unrequited I know his behaviour proves that he has no big crush

To be honest I am not really getting into this synastry....

Maybe it's because you don't touch his sun/venus in scorpio that much (just a sextile from you sun/asc and a square from your vertex) neither you do with his desc

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sis
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posted August 26, 2014 05:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sis     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
IndigoDirae@ It's the first time I am hearing about limerence love. thank you for teaching me something new. I could not open the link but I googled it... Obsession; I have Venus square Pluto nataly, love is obsession to me :S I constantly think about him but it's not like I can't breathe without him. I don't think I need him, I just want him. and I want him to be madly in love with me... Is this a limerence love ?

Having a child together; well he is the only man got me pregnant. It happened at the very beginning of our affair. I had an abortion, without telling him ( appr. 1,5 year later I told ) The thing is we were both obsessed with our exes at the time, and when I learned about my pregnancy, we were both on our way back to them. Neither his, nor mine lasted even a month. But I cut my ties with him and ignored his calls and messages for over a year... one day, when I was not so angry with him anymnore, I answered. My main motivation was to "serve" him to my life long friend who had cancer. Sh really liked him... and all I wanted was to cheer her up... aghh I told you it's a complicated story... And I am on my way to hell with my good intentions :S

His 8th house Dejan is in my 2nd house; not making any major aspects trine to Eros 4a, square Nesus 0a; My 3rd house Dejan is in his 8th house; square Eros & Priapus 3a

My 7th house Priapus is in his 11th house, his 12th house Priapus is in my 8th house.. they are not touching any personal planets..

thank you...

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sis
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posted August 26, 2014 06:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sis     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Enneline@ yeah there is a lot of attraction but feels like something vital is missing..

I have relationship phobia. he is addicted to having a relationship. The last time we were together I retold him that I don't want to be in a committed relationship. I never had one, and he knows this. You know, I just need a man who can fight this... I thought he could..

I don't know maybe because I hurt him at the beginning, he wanted to hurt me too.. Maybe his end goal was to make me fall for him so that he could get his revenge.. May be that's why he did not let me go... He has sun, venus, mars in scorpio after all... Well, he won... But now it's his Karma to deal with...

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IndigoDirae
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From: Venice, California, US
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posted August 26, 2014 07:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for IndigoDirae     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by sis:
IndigoDirae@ It's the first time I am hearing about limerence love. thank you for teaching me something new. I could not open the link but I googled it... Obsession; I have Venus square Pluto nataly, love is obsession to me :S I constantly think about him but it's not like I can't breathe without him. I don't think I need him, I just want him. and I want him to be madly in love with me... Is this a limerence love ?

Having a child together; well he is the only man got me pregnant. It happened at the very beginning of our affair. I had an abortion, without telling him ( appr. 1,5 year later I told ) The thing is we were both obsessed with our exes at the time, and when I learned about my pregnancy, we were both on our way back to them. Neither his, nor mine lasted even a month. But I cut my ties with him and ignored his calls and messages for over a year... one day, when I was not so angry with him anymnore, I answered. My main motivation was to "serve" him to my life long friend who had cancer. Sh really liked him... and all I wanted was to cheer her up... aghh I told you it's a complicated story... And I am on my way to hell with my good intentions :S

His 8th house Dejan is in my 2nd house; not making any major aspects trine to Eros 4a, square Nesus 0a; My 3rd house Dejan is in his 8th house; square Eros & Priapus 3a

My 7th house Priapus is in his 11th house, his 12th house Priapus is in my 8th house.. they are not touching any personal planets..

thank you...


What are the actual placements of DEJANIRA, PRIAPUS and LILITH (Black Moon Lilith)?

Limerence is that kind of 'love' which is not borne of true caring, but the desire to 'have' the individual.

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sis
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posted August 26, 2014 08:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sis     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
aha ! now got it better.. but I truly care for him ! deeply care for him.. but well maybe his is limerance love :S

here is the revised chart, I guess I included all...

[IMG]http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l629/thechironicdance/8c9b876e- 4a15-4aa6-a01b-c339fb0f93c6.gif[/IMG]

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sis
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posted August 26, 2014 09:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sis     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Enneline@ while revising the chart with additional astreoids, I realised I forgot to reduce the orb to %50 on the previous plasidus one ( %85 ) sorry.. as a result some of the trines are gone.. ühühüü :S

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MiaPluto
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posted August 26, 2014 09:14 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You generation with your plutos in libra...

*sigh*

My mom is from that generation too.

You guys have obsessive love relationships. For you, relationships mean a lot.

You can't let go of each other.

Pluto squares in your synastry, with the sun and the ascendant.

I don't know who is who since you didn't mention it.

------------------
Mia x

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sis
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posted August 26, 2014 09:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sis     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
maybe we transform through relationships... when I think about my generation, friends you're right majority of us having a hard time to let go. But none of them are as bad as me. Thanks to my Pluto square aspects ( Venus, Mercury, Sun )

I did. I am the Capricorn, he is the Scorpio.

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IndigoDirae
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posted August 27, 2014 01:06 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for IndigoDirae     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by MiaPluto:
You generation with your plutos in libra...

*sigh*

My mom is from that generation too.

You guys have obsessive love relationships. For you, relationships mean a lot.

You can't let go of each other.

Pluto squares in your synastry, with the sun and the ascendant.

I don't know who is who since you didn't mention it.


Not all of us, Mia. But, yes, PLUTO in Libra is to transform the marital structure. We do seem to be doing that.

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IndigoDirae
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From: Venice, California, US
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posted August 27, 2014 01:11 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for IndigoDirae     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Huh. No, no PRIAPUS/BML and NESSUS/DEJA activity.

My vote is EROS-SATURN, if that's within orb. I've recently learnt (from Amelia, I think?) that EROS-SATURN can get caught in a pattern of karma-clearing for decades. Then, once it's finally clear, it ends very suddenly.

At any rate, 'loves me as a friend/sex partner' is not love. If anything, it's sex addiction.

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sis
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posted August 27, 2014 11:26 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sis     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
thank you all <3 I feel much better today. Detached, calm and collected. I think it was not meant to be and I believe it served its purpose, if I owed him any Karmic debth, I believe it is paid back.

I know almost nothing about astreoids... Information on the net is limited. I should obtain a book...

Anyway, it's a new day, it's a new dawn..

once again thank you...

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sis
Knowflake

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posted September 03, 2014 09:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sis     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
UPDATE;

He texted yesterday, I did not reply. Then he called and could not help but answer. He was slightly drunk... I was down due to a family issue...

Summary of our phone conversation; he insisted on to pick me up and take me to his home. I turned him down.. We talked about my family issue, he tried to comfort me, we talked, we laughed.. He told me you know you re very special to me... Some other intimate things about us... kept on trying to convince me to spend the night together... At least, I was able to stand my ground on that part.. At the end of our phone conversation, right before we hung up he said " I love you "...

Aghhh... as a friend ?, as what for God's sake ! I mean I told him not to call me ever again, I told him what I would not do as long as he is with the other woman.. I told him, told him, told him.. Why is he doing this ? Sun, Venus, Mars Scorpio... Does he have a sick part in him causes him to act this way ?


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Aubyanne
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posted September 04, 2014 02:10 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aubyanne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
sis,

You need to ask yourself what the pay-off is. What it is that you truly get out of continuing this association. If you weren't, you would not be continuing it.

If you feel it's truly compulsive, consider it's an addiction. 21 days. Nothing. No contact. And certainly not seeing each other. Tell him, if you must. Say you're going to be going away for 3 weeks -- or just disconnecting from everything. You need a sojourn.

You'll be able to look upon it with fresh eyes, unencumbered by the compulsion. Then you can view it with a greater objectivity.

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sis
Knowflake

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posted September 04, 2014 05:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sis     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I love him. He is the only man so far -and I am 40- who I can be truly intimate with... I can be direct and honest with him... I feel more alive when I am with him. And I fantasy together we can accomplish great things.. No matter what, it seems we easily forgive eachother... I have guilty concious -we're in this mess because of me, we could have a proper relationship but I prevented it- He does not let me go and I like it.. But then on the other hand I don't trust him enough... He makes a move and then become evasive...

Sex is great.. And yeah sex matters to me...

I did get away from him for longer than 21 days... As soon as I come back, he gives me call... There was a time I did not return his calls for over a year, he did not give up..

One of my best friend is a relationship therapist... She knows him.. and even she cant figure out what this is all about...
She says he is either a psycho or he denies his feelings because he does not see me as an ideal partner but can't let me go either becuase I am his sunshine ( sun square pluto syastry )

Here is my decision; I can talk with him on the phone but till he cuts his ties with the other woman I will refuse to see him..

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