posted October 08, 2014 02:28 PM
12HG,Wilde properly said that everything is about sex, except sex, which is about power. However, I'd like to amend that -- go a bit more Jungian with it -- and say that everything is about attempting to balance shadow and light, yin and yang, male and female. Naturally, sex is the go-to method for most folks; some individuals interpret a stimulus that goes straight to the libido. I've not done much work regarding NESSUS overlays, but it's placement in the 8H is complicated. It's my opinion that a point directs its energy through the lens of the house in which its placed -- towards its matters, and influences it thus. So, you've got Aries BML (oh, I do feel your pain) in your 8H, too. That could be dicey, as BML has been seen as a 'mistress' complex; she likes to be 'the other woman'.
KARMA-CHIRON, on the other hand, is very telling. Not a skipped step, but cusping the 12H from the 11H, and near to your IC, it seems there's some definite resolution going on here, as your CHIRON is close to your SUN, even if not conjunct within orb.
It sounds as if he's suffered some great tragedies in his life; watching your father die ... that happened to my Guardian. It changes a person. Deeply. Your FIL's SATURN-MOON is no surprise; he clearly had to 'pick himself up by his bootstraps', and 'walk it off'.
What sort of abuse did your husband suffer, by the way? I'm so sorry to hear this. Have they since resolved their issues? Has he forgiven him?
You also have a close VENUS-CERES conjunction. That's deeply appealing to a MOON-SATURN, which lacked nurturing and support. His PLUTO (given the generation gap, it becomes significant) on the MP of your NESSUS/VENUS-CERES shows how that drive is obsessive in nature. (His PLUTO is natal 8H, too.)
The 'attraction' here is complex, from where I'm standing.
Your PALLAS-CHIRON-PSYCHE holds to deep wounding from your own father; you have a powerful vulnerability wrapped up in paternal (specifically) approval, and both mental and emotional scarring resulting from those wounds. They cut to the core -- square your SUN. So, it's no surprise his MOON (and SATURN) are right there.
Both of your wounds are in conjunction with each other -- your PALLAS-CHIRON-PSYCHE squared SUN, and his MOON-SATURN.
Now let's look at a source from which these points are drawing.
His NESSUS-KARMA shows that he had (as he's older now, we can presume he's been dealing with this all of his life) a karmic debt or soul-contract regarding issues surrounding abuse. NESSUS can also be prone to taboo attractions and situations, forbidden relationships -- all that. And, yes, with KARMA there, it's stemming from somewhere else.
See your NNODE? It's right on it.
Let's talk now about that.
He's got NESSUS-KARMA in the 5H. Ohhh, yes. Childhood abuse. Awfully so. Your NNODE and BML are, it would appear, exactly conjunct. When you said that you need to 'embrace your Lilith' -- you're absolutely right.
Here's where it gets dicey, though. How much so? In what way? Where, and with whom? Your NNODE-BML is 8H, so it's undoubtedly embroiled and entangled in sexual themes and power-dynamics. And, of course, there's his 5H NESSUS-KARMA.
Why are you feeling the intense attraction? This overlay. Right here. When an activated 5H and 8H are overlaying each other, there's a powerful sexual dynamic. Period.
So, why's it happening? Well, you ARE trying to resolve the pain stemming from your own paternal relationship. He's trying to handle his own issues regarding abuse, selfishness, 'taking what we want without concern for others' (NESSUS) and the consequences (KARMA) of those actions.
To better understand WHY this is happening, I'd look at the Draco synastry. (I'd also suggest adding in DEJANIRA, #157).
Regarding the sexual component of the attraction, I wish that I could help you. All of your darkest issues are coming to light (that's 12H for you, especially in composite) with your wounds coming into contact.
Here's a question. Have you fully embraced your sexuality? What, about your marriage, is unsatisfying in this area? And I don't mean technically or physically. What of the dynamic with your FIL is lacking in your marriage?
Sometimes, especially if we're new to the motherhood thing, there's the tendency for the husband to feel second-place to the new child, which causes the wife-and-mother to suddenly feel as if she's raising two kids. Not sexy. And, something Freud was right about.
Check to see if anything's up with your ELEKTRA (130), too. This can help unearth some hidden sexual themes that were never resolved during childhood. Not stuff we want to think about -- but the subconscious doesn't much care. When you're dealing with 8H / 12H themes -- expect it ALL to come tumbling out.
All in all, your NESSUS is on the far MP of his EROS/PSYCHE (meaning it's opposite the two, but conjunct the point opposite the MP).
Your own morality, willpower, and judgement is being tested here. EROS and PSYCHE is the union of sex and soul. It also helps us see where one is lacking, or taking precedence over the other. He's got a natal conjunction, so we can assume, if he's embraced these energies, there's a balance between the two. Interesting, given your MIL's jealousy -- but that's a WHOLE other can of worms, which SHOULD also be explored.
In these situations, especially regarding the taboo and 'road not travelled', of which society is disapproving -- think of everything, and everyone. NESSUS failed to use good judgement. Wherever he appears, we're asked to do so, else we ourselves fail to learn the lessons involved.