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Author Topic:   Synastry with my best friend's boyfriend...eek!
margym0o
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Posts: 272
From: Ontario, Canada
Registered: Jul 2014

posted October 16, 2014 02:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for margym0o     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I've been wondering about this one now that I've run charts on pretty much everyone else in my life!

My friend, her boyfriend and I took a trip late last year and to make a long story short there was definitely some sort of a connection there! Enough that I think my friend noticed. He and I would dominate the conversation most of the time and a few nights he and I stayed up late just talking about life long after she fell asleep. His affinity for me was palpable. Nothing inappropriate happened but by the end of the trip he was telling me how if he had the chance he would definitely date me!

I am a very loyal person to a fault and I began to feel guilty for everything that happened but it didn't stop there! He continued to write me after the trip was over, very long-winded messages about how he was so taken aback by me, how fascinating, how intelligent, how this and that blah blah blah I am all the while still dating my best friend! I really honestly believed he had worked up this fantasy in his head that I would break up their relationship, move down to the US to be with him and we would ride off into the sunset together. It all felt so "dreamy" in the way he described things.

From my end I was honestly torn. I did feel a connection with him intellectually and it felt really nice to have those types of soul-satisfying conversations with someone, but...I wasn't sure it went any further than that. Through his messages though I felt like maybe there WAS potential there and I was getting slowly reeled into his fantasies.

Eventually I had enough and out of sheer guilt began to progressively give him the cold shoulder. I visited them this past summer and resisted any situation that put us alone together or with any significant one-on-one time. I think he got the hint and has since "given up" his attempts to reach out to me in that way. Despite all of this he and I still remain friends and my best friend in none the wiser!

Is our synastry that great??? What would cause such a pull from his end (and a little from mine)? Is there potential here? Or is all his Pisces influence clouding his judgement?

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Aubyanne
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From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
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posted October 16, 2014 02:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aubyanne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
In a word, karma.

It's like you'd have some karma to clear, but the relationship would be short-term. I DO feel you were destined to meet; there's always a strong simpatico with anyone who's ASC-DSC overlays ours, and VX-ASC is an extremely powerful pull.

JUPITER-SUN is always an intriguing aspect; JUPITER finds they are very supportive of the SUN; often providing guidance and assistance where needed.

NNODE-VENUS doesn't bode well for NOT starting a romantic relationship, however. I see that aspect almost as a matter of course.

Consider this. Perhaps, their relationship will run its course, and, after that point in time, you may debate upon whether or not you should enter into a relationship, in order to clear the karma / learn the lessons / etc.

How does the composite look?

Oh! And should I presume the TOB for him is correct?

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margym0o
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From: Ontario, Canada
Registered: Jul 2014

posted October 16, 2014 03:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for margym0o     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Aubyanne:
In a word, karma.

It's like you'd have some karma to clear, but the relationship would be short-term. I DO feel you were destined to meet; there's always a strong simpatico with anyone who's ASC-DSC overlays ours, and VX-ASC is an extremely powerful pull.

JUPITER-SUN is always an intriguing aspect; JUPITER finds they are very supportive of the SUN; often providing guidance and assistance where needed.

NNODE-VENUS doesn't bode well for NOT starting a romantic relationship, however. I see that aspect almost as a matter of course.

Consider this. Perhaps, their relationship will run its course, and, after that point in time, you may debate upon whether or not you should enter into a relationship, in order to clear the karma / learn the lessons / etc.

How does the composite look?

Oh! And should I presume the TOB for him is correct?


That Sun-Jupiter aspect you mention resonates because on the trip, many of our conversations were steered towards his personal growth and development and what he has experienced in his life and I tried to "lift him up." Me being Jupiter, that makes sense.

So you're saying the NNode-Venus aspect IS a heavy romantic relationship draw?

As far as their relationship running its course, I suppose it's possible, however unlikely since she is DEFINITELY in it for the long haul and he is hesitantly so. He made it perfectly clear to me that he is only with her for, essentially, fear of being alone and "it isn't THAT bad" so he can "make it work." Sad isn't it? Hence...his and my "happily ever after."

Yes, his TOB is correct.

Here is our composite:

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KarmicMoon
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From: Moon, Milky Way
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posted October 16, 2014 03:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for KarmicMoon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
There are quite a few nice connections here without even looking too deeply into the charts. The bottom line is though how attracted to him are you? You say you like the intellectual conversation but is that enough to end a friendship over? This would be a significant betrayal. I'm not judging one way or the other. Sometimes life sets us up with these difficult circumstances to learn from. Do you have mutual friends that would also be against this relationship?

Interesting Yod in the composite with Chiron, Jupiter and Pluto.

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margym0o
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From: Ontario, Canada
Registered: Jul 2014

posted October 16, 2014 04:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for margym0o     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by KarmicMoon:
There are quite a few nice connections here without even looking too deeply into the charts. The bottom line is though how attracted to him are you? You say you like the intellectual conversation but is that enough to end a friendship over? This would be a significant betrayal. I'm not judging one way or the other. Sometimes life sets us up with these difficult circumstances to learn from. Do you have mutual friends that would also be against this relationship?

Interesting Yod in the composite with Chiron, Jupiter and Pluto.


I would never pursue him under these circumstances. It's not in my nature to betray a friend like that. Plus I never even let myself "fall" for him in any way knowing the outcome would be negative no matter how you slice it. We have no other mutual friends to be for/against this happening. Could there be potential? It's quite possible. If we gave ourselves more opportunity to get to know each other or explored being intimate...who knows!

What is the interpretation of the yod?

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astra7
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posted October 16, 2014 06:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for astra7     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
YOD consists of Jupiter (relationship) + 12th H ruler (secret) Pluto = Chiron (pain) so it has already manifested.

You have a few strong compelling attraction aspects.
- Sun trine Pluto
- Moon trine Mars
- Moon trine Sun
- Moon conj Uranus (instant attraction)
- Asc/Dc overlay

Dreamyness you felt must have come from Sun opp. Neptune.
And Mercury trine Sun for feeling connected through communication.

Other nice aspects:
Mars sextile Mars
Saturn sextile Saturn (glue)
Saturn sextile Venus (glue)

Outside person's Pisces Sun is conjuncted by Jupiter (Asc ruler).
Reverse is happening for Inside person too.
Gemini Sun is trined by Mercury (Asc ruler).

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KarmicMoon
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From: Moon, Milky Way
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posted October 16, 2014 07:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for KarmicMoon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
There is definitely potential here. Besides what Aubyanne and Astra said you also have vertex/ASC and Vertex/Sun and Mars, Destinn/Venus, Destinn/Neptune, psyche/Chiron.

I hate when there are no degrees! Is that Karma oppose Sun and karma oppose Saturn? That's heavy.

It sounds like he doesn't live near you? This is a hard situation. You say you would never do betray your friend but then you say if there is potential maybe, lol. Writing to each other behind her back is already kind of bad (again not judging). Guess you'll have to weigh the options.

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margym0o
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From: Ontario, Canada
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posted October 16, 2014 07:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for margym0o     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by KarmicMoon:
There is definitely potential here. Besides what Aubyanne and Astra said you also have vertex/ASC and Vertex/Sun and Mars, Destinn/Venus, Destinn/Neptune, psyche/Chiron.

I hate when there are no degrees! Is that Karma oppose Sun and karma oppose Saturn? That's heavy.

It sounds like he doesn't live near you? This is a hard situation. You say you would never do betray your friend but then you say if there is potential maybe, lol. Writing to each other behind her back is already kind of bad (again not judging). Guess you'll have to weigh the options.


Haha you're right, though to be fair it was very one-sided (coming from him mostly). It has been put to bed for quite some time now, as again it got to be very uncomfortable for me being the recipient. Friends is all we will ever be 😊 He is a very stabilizing force in my friend's life so I hope for her sake he puts all of his heart into it. Interesting to hear about the aspects though! Glad to know I wasn't imagining it lol astrology is amazing sometimes!

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Aubyanne
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From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
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posted October 16, 2014 07:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aubyanne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by KarmicMoon:
There is definitely potential here. Besides what Aubyanne and Astra said you also have vertex/ASC ...

Just nitpicky, but I did mention their ASC-VX conjunction. I'm quite familiar with that one.

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Aubyanne
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From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
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posted October 16, 2014 08:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aubyanne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
JUNO is exactly 0º00 Aries? ... Am I reading this properly? I'm used to seeing the symbol for JUNO, so I'm not sure.

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Nine
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From: The Cusp of Love
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posted October 16, 2014 08:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Nine     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Your Scorpio moon makes you magnetic, alluring.

Pisces men are notoriously porous, and yielding.

While some attraction may exist, don't take him seriously, it's nothing deep. The Pisces get bored with people quickly.

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margym0o
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From: Ontario, Canada
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posted October 16, 2014 10:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for margym0o     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Aubyanne:
JUNO is exactly 0º00 Aries? ... Am I reading this properly? I'm used to seeing the symbol for JUNO, so I'm not sure.

I was confused about that too but I think the symbol in the 11th house at degree 20.51 is the right one. Not where that other one is coming from.

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Bluejay
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posted October 17, 2014 01:14 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Bluejay     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I would never trust a man(or woman) with all those personal planets in Pisces. Especially coupled with his 12th house Venus and Mercury, with a Gemini Moon....this guy has A LOT of cheater red flags waving here. You do have some nice aspects, but his natal chart is very telling.

Heavy Pisces people are shape shifters, and they are someone different to everyone they know. They don't know or understand themselves, and even when they do, they change tomorrow. I speak from personal experience, including 2 family members, and a friend since preschool. As a heavy Scorpio, being deceived by someone I love is worse than death to me. I dread the day I might fall under the spell of a sweet talking Pisces man. They are notorious dreamy romantics, then they swim onto the next one.

The fact that he is(or was) secretly talking to you behind your friend's back shows you exactly what type of guy he is. You are not innocent either by not telling your friend what a tool her boyfriend is. If you were to ever date in the future, you are already aware of his sneaky ways, so at least you're forewarned.

I know that people can't control their feelings, but you can control your actions. How would you feel if the man you were in love with was hitting on your best friend behind your back? I doubt you would appreciate her hiding it from you to spare your feelings.


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LeeLoo2014
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From: Venus cornering Neptune
Registered: Mar 2014

posted October 17, 2014 08:13 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for LeeLoo2014     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Bluejay:
I would never trust a man(or woman) with all those personal planets in Pisces. Especially coupled with his 12th house Venus and Mercury, with a Gemini Moon....this guy has A LOT of cheater red flags waving here. You do have some nice aspects, but his natal chart is very telling.

Heavy Pisces people are shape shifters, and they are someone different to everyone they know. They don't know or understand themselves, and even when they do, they change tomorrow. I speak from personal experience, including 2 family members, and a friend since preschool. As a heavy Scorpio, being deceived by someone I love is worse than death to me. I dread the day I might fall under the spell of a sweet talking Pisces man. They are notorious dreamy romantics, then they swim onto the next one.

The fact that he is(or was) secretly talking to you behind your friend's back shows you exactly what type of guy he is. You are not innocent either by not telling your friend what a tool her boyfriend is. If you were to ever date in the future, you are already aware of his sneaky ways, so at least you're forewarned.

I know that people can't control their feelings, but you can control your actions. How would you feel if the man you were in love with was hitting on your best friend behind your back? I doubt you would appreciate her hiding it from you to spare your feelings.


I agree with your post and heavy mutable makes one...well, mutable lol

But how can one be a true romantic if one doesn't love? Love doesn't come and go in one day and it's not universal (not romantic love). Fleeting "love" is a sign of NOT being a Lover, not having the gift of loving/being loved.

Sweet talk, scattered interests, trying one's seduction power is not the same with being romantic, IMO.

------------------

I seem to have loved you in numberless forms...

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KarmicMoon
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From: Moon, Milky Way
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posted October 17, 2014 08:59 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for KarmicMoon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Sorry Aubyanne, yeah I recall you and I both have ASC/Vertex DW's!

As for Pisces being a cheater. This can be true of some. I'm a Cancer Sun and Virgo Rising so I am a Pisces magnet. My husband has Sun, Venus, Vesta and NN in Pisces and is as stable and faithful as they come.

However, this guy is already looking to cheat on his girlfriend. Puts you in an odd place knowing this. I had someone very close to me, husband hit on my last year and tell me he wished he was married to me instead. It's a nightmare trying to decide to tell or not. I also have a friend whose boyfriend starts messaging me on FB everytime they break up and he knows just what to say to come very close to crossing the line but not stepping over. Her I tell, because there is a good chance she will find out and I don't want any question about what was going on. But it sucks because I have to call her and tell her then she starts crying. It does make you wonder how devouted this guy is to her. I feel for you sweetie!

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PisceanDream
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posted October 17, 2014 09:55 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for PisceanDream     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Bluejay:
I would never trust a man(or woman) with all those personal planets in Pisces. Especially coupled with his 12th house Venus and Mercury, with a Gemini Moon....this guy has A LOT of cheater red flags waving here. You do have some nice aspects, but his natal chart is very telling.

Heavy Pisces people are shape shifters, and they are someone different to everyone they know. They don't know or understand themselves, and even when they do, they change tomorrow. I speak from personal experience, including 2 family members, and a friend since preschool. As a heavy Scorpio, being deceived by someone I love is worse than death to me. I dread the day I might fall under the spell of a sweet talking Pisces man. They are notorious dreamy romantics, then they swim onto the next one.


Lol. I'm Pisces heavy with a Gem moon. Don't you think you're perhaps making a very unfair generalization based solely on your experience as a Scorpio heavy person? Isn't that a little ironic? Your perspective too is colored with the influence of heavy fixed, intense placements. Perhaps your nature and personality was way too demanding, overbearing, unwilling to compromise or readjust? Wouldn't that be a valid argument to make given the sequence of logic you're employing? There is no placement or aspect which makes one a cheater or untrustworthy. No matter the "red flags" you pinpoint in a chart. I'm sorry to hear that your experiences played out that way, but there's two sides to every story and the failure or success of a relationship is definitely a product of each member in the relationship. If this kind of personality doesn't work for you, avoid it. But don't make judgments about it in such a way that it becomes a template of truth for you to warn people with whenever they're confronted with this kind of personality.

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libran_dream
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posted October 17, 2014 10:14 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for libran_dream     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The attraction is all written in the charts, sure. The classic Venus-NN, Mars-DC, Vertex-AC. Then you also have his Pluto completing your Sun-Eros trine into a Grand Trine and his Sun completing your Mercury-Moon trine into a Grand Trine.
So that's pretty potent.

But wow, the personality of this guy. No loyalty. Going behind your girlfriend's back to try and go for her best friend... That shows nothing and no one is off limits for him. Your best friend should get an ounce or three more of self-respect and dump this guy for good before he makes a complete mess of her life. Which he eventually probably will.

Also, his Nessus is opposite your Eros and square your Moon. That's initially exciting but very much of a no-good configuration that you don't want in your life. Could explain a part of why he's chasing you.

In the composite, that missing T-square leg in late Taurus is the cVenus. Also in composite, cNessus is in H8 square cSun. All bad, all very bad. You don't want none of that, trust.

I know it looks like a really hard thing to do, but I would tell your friend at least a part of what was going on. She needs to know what kind of man she's giving some of the best years of her life to, if she doesn't already. You'll save her heartache in the long run, even if now it might be hurtful. But that's just my advice, you know her better obviously.

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starmoon
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posted October 17, 2014 10:55 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for starmoon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Bluejay:
I would never trust a man(or woman) with all those personal planets in Pisces. Especially coupled with his 12th house Venus and Mercury, with a Gemini Moon....this guy has A LOT of cheater red flags waving here. You do have some nice aspects, but his natal chart is very telling.

Heavy Pisces people are shape shifters, and they are someone different to everyone they know. They don't know or understand themselves, and even when they do, they change tomorrow. I speak from personal experience, including 2 family members, and a friend since preschool. As a heavy Scorpio, being deceived by someone I love is worse than death to me. I dread the day I might fall under the spell of a sweet talking Pisces man. They are notorious dreamy romantics, then they swim onto the next one.

The fact that he is(or was) secretly talking to you behind your friend's back shows you exactly what type of guy he is. You are not innocent either by not telling your friend what a tool her boyfriend is. If you were to ever date in the future, you are already aware of his sneaky ways, so at least you're forewarned.

I know that people can't control their feelings, but you can control your actions. How would you feel if the man you were in love with was hitting on your best friend behind your back? I doubt you would appreciate her hiding it from you to spare your feelings.


i agree with this as well. too many pisces placements to be an honest guy and the 12H doesn't help. just the fact that you are both hiding an attraction from your "best friend" should tell you all you need to know. if he's willing to cheat with you and explore any type of feelings, seriously.. what kind of guy is that? not one you can trust, and one that would cheat if you gave a green light. pisces/gemini is a bad mix for a faithful man as they like to explore, fantasize, be enraptured for a while, and then move on.

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Bluejay
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posted October 17, 2014 11:38 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Bluejay     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by PisceanDream:
Lol. I'm Pisces heavy with a Gem moon. Don't you think you're perhaps making a very unfair generalization based solely on your experience as a Scorpio heavy person? Isn't that a little ironic? Your perspective too is colored with the influence of heavy fixed, intense placements. Perhaps your nature and personality was way too demanding, overbearing, unwilling to compromise or readjust? Wouldn't that be a valid argument to make given the sequence of logic you're employing? There is no placement or aspect which makes one a cheater or untrustworthy. No matter the "red flags" you pinpoint in a chart. I'm sorry to hear that your experiences played out that way, but there's two sides to every story and the failure or success of a relationship is definitely a product of each member in the relationship. If this kind of personality doesn't work for you, avoid it. But don't make judgments about it in such a way that it becomes a template of truth for you to warn people with whenever they're confronted with this kind of personality.

My relationships with Pisces heavy people have absolutely nothing to do with me being "too demanding" or "overbearing". I was referring to my dad, my older sister, and my childhood friend. They are ALL guilty of being a different person to everyone, and all have closets stuffed with skeletons. Of course everyone thinks they are saints. I won't even go there now, but these are people that I've known my whole life, so I've witnessed their countless lies. What makes me fear these types is that they delude themselves, which makes them masters of deception.

As for me jumping to conclusions??? This guy is trying to get with his girlfriend's best friend!!! I don't have to even look at his chart to see what type if guy he is, his actions make that quite clear. That has absolutely nothing to do with me being a Scorpio and having a fixed mindset, that's just common sense. His chart just so happens to have a handful of aspects that point to a potentially unfaithful person. It's obvious that he is not a faithful guy, and if given the chance would act on these feelings. I draw that conclusion from his actions, not my personal opinions.

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Bluejay
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posted October 17, 2014 11:53 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Bluejay     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
I agree with your post and heavy mutable makes one...well, mutable lol

But how can one be a true romantic if one doesn't love? Love doesn't come and go in one day and it's not universal (not romantic love). Fleeting "love" is a sign of NOT being a Lover, not having the gift of loving/being loved.

Sweet talk, scattered interests, trying one's seduction power is not the same with being romantic, IMO.


I think a lot of people think love is a romantic fairytale, so once the initial infatuation wears off, some people go seeking that romantic feeling with someone else. That's definitely not love, it's attraction. Real love is unconditional, loving someone flaws and all, even if the romance has long faded.

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PisceanDream
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posted October 17, 2014 12:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PisceanDream     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Bluejay:

As for me jumping to conclusions??? This guy is trying to get with his girlfriend's best friend!!! I don't have to even look at his chart to see what type if guy he is, his actions make that quite clear. That has absolutely nothing to do with me being a Scorpio and having a fixed mindset, that's just common sense. His chart just so happens to have a handful of aspects that point to a potentially unfaithful person. It's obvious that he is not a faithful guy, and if given the chance would act on these feelings. I draw that conclusion from his actions, not my personal opinions.


That, I agree with. His personality and motives are questionable because his actions are bad. The fact that he was hitting on his girl friend's best friend is messed up, and that is a valid reason to judge someone's character but dumping it on being a heavy Pisces with a Gem moon doesn't make someone bad. The mutable energy and the need for a variety of different stimuli and ideals and experiences is present. The conflict that arises from this is present. But the choice to exercise the will in a morally inappropriate manner is not present in any chart. Not everyone with these placements are like that. That's my point.

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margym0o
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From: Ontario, Canada
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posted October 17, 2014 12:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for margym0o     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you everyone for your input. I do agree with most of what you all are saying and from a moral standpoint you are right - I should tell her what happened. It is something I have contemplated doing but at the end of the day, it isn't my place to drive a wedge into their relationship and perhaps he learned a valuable lesson from this experience - that his fantasy is just that and he needs to focus on what is in front of him (which I told him to his face). For me to cause an upset when nothing became of it seems a bit unnecessary now.

Also, to be fair, I don't believe your natal chart can completely depict if you will be a cheater or not. I think that is where astrology is left off and your own free will as a human being takes over. Predisposition to certain behaviours and thoughts, sure, but how you act on all that is completely up to you. For instance one of my other friends is a Gemini Sun/Aquarius Moon/Gemini Venus/Pisces Mars so a whole lot of mutable/erratic energy going on, and she is as loyal to her boyfriend as they come. A bit of a flirt, yes (because she likes the stimulation/attention), but she is deeply devoted to him. In contrast, a man I know with a Taurus Sun/Sagi Moon (maybe - TOB unknown)/Taurus Venus/Scorpio Mars shamelessly cheated on his girlfriend (now fiance - getting married next week) multiple times throughout the 7 years they've been together. I think he "cleaned up his act" and has been "good" for the past couple years (to my knowledge) though. For him I think it was more of a sensual pursuit - he loves the sensations and the feelings and the tactile pleasures (very Taurus) - than a pursuit of love. I guess his moral compass finally kicked in but he's probably one of the worst I've personally known!

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