posted October 27, 2014 01:47 AM            

Okay so I was reading this astrologer’s blog, and one of his posts was about something he called ‘Dsc Affinity‘. Basically, the astrologer (Phil Bowler) was talking about how he had observed that if we lack Dsc Affinity with our partner the relationship can feel like there is something ‘missing’ over time, even if on all other levels the relationship was great (due to overall good synastry). I actually agree with this to some extent but I think his idea of Dsc Affinity is too narrow…

In the article (I’ll post a link below if anyone’s interested), he noted that our partner should have at least SOMETHING (like an inner planet) in our Dsc sign in order for them to feel ‘right’ to us over time in long term relationships. In his article he used the example of a women who’d been married for 35 years, and although the relationship was a good one, she had always felt like there was something missing. As it turns out her husband had no planets in her Dsc sign, and the astrologer concluded that this was the reason why she sensed something was missing.

Phil Bowler (the astrologer) also noted that he himself had a Cancer Dsc, and that male or female, all people in his life that he had a ‘special affinity’ with had the sign Cancer featuring in their charts. Most were not actually Cancer Suns. There were lot of Cancer Moons, Cancer Venus, and Cancer rising sign people.

One thing I really agree with here is that the 7th house is like a long term relationship ship anchor in our chart, and when people resemble the 7th house symbolism in our chart, they just seem to have a vibe about them that attracts us. Like we know deep down we’re meant to be around somebody like that. Even if we’re madly in love (5th house), or we feel deeply connected (8th house) to somebody, if our 7th house component is missing in the partner’s chart there’s still be a feeling like something is lacking (even if we’re not sure what it is exactly).

The thing I disagree with about Phil Bowler’s ‘Dsc Affinity’ notion, is that just basing it on the Dsc sign is too narrow a parameter to go by.

For sure we should also include planets in our 7th house, and the sign of our Dsc ruler.

Some people have a planet tightly conjunct or aspecting there 7th house ruler and this can have an influence on their attraction pattern too. If a person has Saturn conjunct the 7th house ruler they might be attracted to Capricorn types even if there Dsc sign is Gemini or Aries. If a person has Uranus in the 7th house they could be attracted to Aquarius types, even if their Dsc sign is actually Scorpio or Capricorn.

Another possibility is that a person could be attracted to someone that matches the symbolism of there secondary 7th house. That is the house ruled by the sign on the Dsc.

Here’s a link for this if you’re not familiar with it.
Love Synastry: Secondary 5th, 7th, and 8th houses
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum35/HTML/000168.html

There’s more then one way for a partner to have at least some type of ‘7th House Affinity’ with us.

I’ll use myself as an example here. I’ve got Gemini on the 7th house cusp, Jupiter in early Cancer in the 7th house, and Mercury in Sagittarius ruling my 7th house. Yes, I can be attracted to Gemini energy but I think my actual top pick for a marriage partner would be Sagittarius. This sign just attracts me more.

If you like at my chart the reason for this is obvious. Jupiter (Sag’s ruler) is in the 7th house, and my Dsc ruler is in Sagittarius. The Sagittarius energy is so strong it overpowers my Dsc sign in rank. And I actually have a stronger ‘7th house Affinity’ for Sagittarius then Gemini. I’m more likely to fall for a Sag with a strongly placed Mercury, then a Gemini type by sign.

The attraction to Sagittarius is also reinforced by my Venus in Sagittarius conjunct Juno (also in Sag).

Then there’s the Secondary Dsc to consider. My Dsc sign is Gemini, Gemini is in charge of the 3rd house, and so in my chart the 3rd house is my secondary 7th house. It shows more detail about my partnership taste. I have Aquarius on the 3rd house ruled by Uranus in Scorpio, and I have noticed that those with personal planets in Aquarius and Scorpio do quiet attract me.

Usually, I’m most attracted to Sagittarius or Aries Suns (Aries is on 5th house cusp), with personal planets in Scorpio, Aquarius, Gemini, Cancer (Cancer is on my 8th house cusp, my Moon is also in Cancer in the 8th house), even more planets in Sagittarius or Aries, and sometimes Leo (my Mars is in Leo and it rules my 5th house). Sun in the Fire signs Sagittarius or Aries seems to be particularly important to me, and everything else just fits around that. And if the Sun sign is Aries, it’s like there HAS to be something in Sagittarius, or maybe even Gemini, to go with it or it starts to feel like something is ’missing’. This type of combination seems to be what I’m most attracted to.

Which brings me to my next point… Most people are actually attracted to a certain combination of energies in others based on their 5th, 7th, and 8th house symbolism, with extra influences possibly coming form the Vertex Axis, Juno, and the gender planets (like Mars and Venus). If a certain sign is repeated in our attraction pattern several times, like in my case with Sagittarius, then it becomes like a focal point for us, and we may have a very strong attraction to that sign.

About the 5th, 7th, and 8th houses…

The 7th house symbolism shows what we need from our partner in order for them to feel like they are supposed to be our match for life, while the 5th house what excites us romantically, and the 8th house shows what we need to form an intimate bond of trust with our partner. At least a little bit of each of these houses in our chart showing up in the symbolism of our partner’s chart is a good sign. It shows a more balanced attraction to them from our side.

The 7th house is arguably the most important of these houses because it’s like the base on which the rest of the relationship can rest. Romantic excitement (the 5th house) might be nice, but if the person doesn’t feel like they’re right for us in the long term we’ll be reluctant to marry them, even if we’re attracted. We may even deliberately avoid someone we find attractive for that reason.

So I guess my conclusion is that the term ’7th House Affinity’ is more fitting then “Dsc Affinity’, when it comes to finding that special thing that feels right to us in long-term relationships. There’s more then just finding our Dsc sign in our partner’s chart to consider here.

One thing that a Phil Bowler said is that: “A true mutual bond develops when your partner’s descendant sign is equally strongly featured in your chart“. Again, I agree with his general point here. I think when both people in a relationship mirror each other’s 7th house, this is a good indicator that the relationship is mutual, and the both see each other as a good fit for the long term. However, we need to take a wider look at the 7th house and not just zero in on the Dsc sign.

Here’s a link to Phil Bowlers Dsc Affinity article http://www.selfhelpastrology.com/Blog/2012/Feb/20/4-Descendant+Affinity.html

posted October 27, 2014 04:27 AM            

I have cancer descendant in the 7th house. Cancer on the house cusp. No one who is close to me has cancer placements. Except for my husband who also has cancer descendant and 4th house NN.

I have jupiter in the 7th house trine 3rd house moon. While I don't feel particularly drawn to sag suns, one of my best friends has sag moon/asc, 9th house mercury. The other has a 9th house stellium.

Husband has 9th house sun and singleton sag uranus. It makes a fire grand trine with my moon/jupiter, I like it. My sag merc is too far away.

posted October 27, 2014 03:56 PM            

I have a sag DC, Jupiter in Scorpio in my 5th house conjunct my vertex (2) and Pluto (6)

Neptune (10HR) in my 7th not conjunct the DC or making any close aspects to other planets

Cap moon in the 7th 2-3 degrees fm my 8th house cusp, widely conjunct my SN(4), trine venus (1), square mars and Saturn (4,6)

I have a lot of 7th house... Shall we call them - standards. Lol.

Anyways...

The best relationship I have - bar none - is with a sun/mars/mercury in sag, moon in Pisces, venus in cap, AC/NN conjunct my Jupiter/vertex in Scorpio family member. That's my 7th house. I need that in a non-relative being. Lol.

As for my husband...

I think I have a strong lunar cap or Saturnian presence that my husband is attracted to. He has a cap DC, Saturn in libra conjunct his IC (2) from the 3rd house (I'm a gem sun/AC/mercury), 4 other planets and Juno in his 4th, no planets in the 7th. His moon (chart ruler) is in Aries conjunct his MC. He does answer the call of my moon, but not sooo much my Neptune and DC. He does have sun square Neptune (0) which is mostly just annoying. Plus his moon in Aries trine his Leo mars can be a lot for my cappy moon to tolerate. I need fire, but having it in the moon can be difficult for me.

posted October 27, 2014 08:25 PM            

On the other hand, a clear lock has always been Sag. It's my VALENTINE sign, (15º, so, pretty strong, too) but also my NEP -- which is 7R. And 4H.

Without fail, CAN VENUS has curiously drawn me -- but never so much as SAG MOON. Most of my closest friends, my husband, and my Twin are both lunar Sag (and my husband's CAN VENUS, too.) My partner, on the other hand, is SAG rising. I've had a few soulmate relationships with SAG Risers, too.

My partner's the first time any committed romantic partner has put anything anywhere near my DSC. CHIRON, and it's 10º from the 8C. So, it's 7H -- but nothing doing with the DSC.

I curiously put a lot in my Twin's 7H: NNODE, VENUS, JUPITER ....

My SUN is EXACTLY conjunct my husband's 7R (URA). So, I've always thought that's cool. Again, nothing in our respective 7Hs, but a lock on the 7R. (My Twin's SUN is conjunct my 7R, too, with my husband's MOON widely conjunct it as well.)

My Twin's 7R is actually his SUN, too; the fact we have 7R conjunct 7R has always been intriguing, to say the least. And, okay, fine. It's conjunct his NEP by 2º. So, sue me.

OH. My mistake. I always forget that my husband's MARS is there. 26º Pisces. So, I'd say he's the first in awhile to put anything there. Usually, I prefer the man have his MARS in a Pisces dwad. For some reason, I do resonate to that. Subtlety, I suppose.

For my partner, it's his 8H MERCURY that's his 7R; and, oooh, boy, is it involved in a fustercluck: square MOON and MARS. Ohhh, yeah. Good times. Of course, I feed into that: my SUN/BML/PLUTO squaring it, 0º-1º; my MOON-URA trining it 2º-3º.

posted October 28, 2014 08:42 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aubyanne:
Hard to meet them, or hard to bond with them, starmoon?

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posted October 28, 2014 09:05 AM            

The excepction might be planet around 5 Gemini (opposing my Mars and conjunct the DESC), 17 Gemini (trine my Moon), and 25 Gemini (opposing my Sun-Mercury). But that is more or less just theoretical.
Actually I remmeber a Taurus with Venus-Mars on my DESC, opposing my Mars and Moon somewhere around, too. He was easily the most annoying and dull person I can remember. lol

EDIT
But I am weird like that. I am not attracted to planets in my 5th or 8th house so much as to those falling into the house where the rulers of these houses reside.
Unless of course the 5th or 8th house planets make strong synastric aspects.

posted October 28, 2014 10:44 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by ReachingForTheStars:
I can relate to both theories. I've been married for 13 years, and my marriage is, **by comparison**, a pretty good one. I've always felt something was missing though, and been really unhappy about it. All things considered, those feelings of something "missing" doesn't really justify a divorce. My husband has no planets in the sign of my DC. He has lots of the element, and his venus conjuncts my DC ruler/vertex, but still it's just blah. We have lots of mutual 7th house affinity including my moon in the sign of his DC.

I have a sag DC, Jupiter in Scorpio in my 5th house conjunct my vertex (2) and Pluto (6)

Neptune (10HR) in my 7th not conjunct the DC or making any close aspects to other planets

Cap moon in the 7th 2-3 degrees fm my 8th house cusp, widely conjunct my SN(4), trine venus (1), square mars and Saturn (4,6)

I have a lot of 7th house... Shall we call them - standards. Lol.

Anyways...

The best relationship I have - bar none - is with a sun/mars/mercury in sag, moon in Pisces, venus in cap, AC/NN conjunct my Jupiter/vertex in Scorpio family member. That's my 7th house. I need that in a non-relative being. Lol.

As for my husband...

I think I have a strong lunar cap or Saturnian presence that my husband is attracted to. He has a cap DC, Saturn in libra conjunct his IC (2) from the 3rd house (I'm a gem sun/AC/mercury), 4 other planets and Juno in his 4th, no planets in the 7th. His moon (chart ruler) is in Aries conjunct his MC. He does answer the call of my moon, but not sooo much my Neptune and DC. He does have sun square Neptune (0) which is mostly just annoying. Plus his moon in Aries trine his Leo mars can be a lot for my cappy moon to tolerate. I need fire, but having it in the moon can be difficult for me.

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Interesting, and you kind of answered the question. So it is possible to have a long relationship with out 7th house affinity, and to be aware of it the 'something missing feeling', and yet still value the relationship for other reasons.

If you read the article, the astrologer Phil Bowler used an example of a women who'd been in a relationship for 35 years, and she felt the same way. I seriously doubt that after 35 years she was going to up and leave just cause of that. The relationship was a good one.

posted October 28, 2014 10:54 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ceridwen:
I agree with you, Lotis.
The theory is right,b ut too narrow.
The houseruler and planets in there should not be overlooked. For me personally I am drawn more to the the DESC-ruler.
In fact I have met some Geminis, and some Taureans and Cancers with personal planets in Gemini in my 7th house, but didn`t really vibe with them, at least not in terms of relationship-material. And sometimes I found them astonishingly annoying or boring. No offense to anyone with that placements, it just doesn`t seem to do it for me.

The excepction might be planet around 5 Gemini (opposing my Mars and conjunct the DESC), 17 Gemini (trine my Moon), and 25 Gemini (opposing my Sun-Mercury). But that is more or less just theoretical.
Actually I remmeber a Taurus with Venus-Mars on my DESC, opposing my Mars and Moon somewhere around, too. He was easily the most annoying and dull person I can remember. lol

EDIT
But I am weird like that. I am not attracted to planets in my 5th or 8th house so much as to those falling into the house where the rulers of these houses reside.
Unless of course the 5th or 8th house planets make strong synastric aspects.

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I think it's an interesting juxtaposition how you and I are both different and the same when it comes to the cusp vs ruler of a love house issue. I like you like my Dsc ruler sign more then my Dsc (Plus I have Jupiter in the 7th house). Unlike you I like my 5th house cusp sign better then the ruler. Mars in Leo rules my 5th house cusp and for some reason I vibe better with Aries. I can still like planets in Gemini and Leo under the right synastry conditions, but sign-wise the pull to Aries and Sag is just stronger. Yet you vibe better with Cap (5th house ruler) then Taurus (5th house cusp).

I do have to say that a Leo-style guy does appeal to me though, even if he's not a Leo by sign. I'm mean in terms of external characteristics. I tend to be attracted to extroverted, class-clown types.

posted October 29, 2014 07:31 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Selene:
Not really. Yes, i am drawn to that Venus in Pisces that is my DSC sign. But i don't actually like other planets there. I've dated someone with Sun right conjunct my DSC, and blah. That was not IT. All too vague, not trustworthy, not stable, without that spark i need so desperately. My DSC ruler is in Capricorn, conjunct Uranus. I crave Uranian spark and, ironically, stability as well. Like someone who can protect me, who may be blunt on the outside, ambitious, trustworthy, older than me (at least gives a vibe of being older than me) (Capricorn traits - my 5th house), but then again i am drawn to those qualities, not necessarily personal planets in there. If a person doesn't have those traits that i mentioned and our relationship lacks that Uranian spark (i don't know exactly how to call it), then he can have 4 personal planets in Pisces and i won't take a second look - it will be - thanks, but no - thanks.

But what i need in the person to be truly attracted to him, is all these traits i mentioned, AND a sensitive side of him that he only shares with some special people in his life, not with everyone. Like something he may hide from the outer world, but lets me see through it. That's where their Piscean Venus comes in. I like the fact we can share our innermost dreams and adore arts and lyrics, but all in moderation.

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Thanks for the reply. So in your case you're one of those that vibes with a combination of your 5th and 7th houses, conditions of the rulers included.

posted October 29, 2014 07:44 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lotis White:
Interesting, and you kind of answered the question. So it is possible to have a long relationship with out 7th house affinity, and to be aware of it the 'something missing feeling', and yet still value the relationship for other reasons.

If you read the article, the astrologer Phil Bowler used an example of a women who'd been in a relationship for 35 years, and she felt the same way. I seriously doubt that after 35 years she was going to up and leave just cause of that. The relationship was a good one.

But then again, because the astrologer was only looking at the Dsc sign, maybe her husband did somewhat resonate with her 7th house... Just not very strongly. And the Phil Bowler couldn't see that because he only focuses on the Dsc sign. It's possible that your husband does actually resonate somewhat with your 7th house (in a non-Dsc sign way). Perhaps the feeling of something missing can also come from other things in synastry, like an unaspected planet.

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Yes. I think maybe my husband does subtly resonate with my 7th house, but not enough for me to feel fulfilled. I forgot that his Neptune (9HR) overlays my 7th. Also, my Saturn conjuncts his Jupiter, so I may inhibit his sag-like qualities. I don't think direct overlays, or conjunctions to the 7th house is necessary for a happy relationship, but some sort of strong resonance def. must be there.

Another thing, someone recently brought up being attracted to certain placements because of the composite it creates, and I was noticing it true in my life. In the composite chart between my husband and I, composite moon is in aquarius and overlays my 9th house (my secondary 7th). Same for the composite between my cousin I spoke about in my first response, and my best friend.

The synastry between my husband and I isn't too great aspect wise. Our suns are widely square, moons tightly square, venus in wide opposition, mars square venus... But we have lots of secondary affinity, or symbolism matches:

Our suns are both mercury ruled.
I'm a gem sun, he has sun in his 3rd house
He has an Aries moon, I have a first house sun
My moon is in cap, his moon conjuncts his MC
I have a 7th house moon, he's a cancer rising with an emphasized 4th house

posted October 30, 2014 09:44 AM            

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