posted November 19, 2014 10:17 PM            

Ohhhh, if only that were true.

In all honesty, my Twin did give me something incredible: the courage to discover such a powerful self-confidence that, never again, would I stand for abuse of any kind. No man who possessed my heart or was given my time would treat me with anything less than respect and genuine love. Period.

He taught me that by being emotionally abusive and too immature for a relationship. He's still alone, now unemployed, confused about his life direction, and calls when he's had too much to drink and is feeling nostalgic.

On the other hand, I'm in love. I'm secure. I'm lucky. I'm happy. I've acted responsibly; with integrity. I've learnt from mistakes and continue to try and be the most honest, genuine, and authentic person I can be. I've got a long, long way to go, but the journey has never been more worthwhile.

My relationships (one of which is my marriage) aren't easy. They're both hard. We're healing deep-seated wounds and working to become better, more integrated, happier people together.

Oh, and on occasion, my Guardian Soulmate and I've stopped time. And we regularly explore Tantra. He's 'shown' me in a few trance states, some of the more significant events in our long, karmic history, and has been 'appearing' to me, in some form, since I was nineteen. (Which, for the uninitiated, was about 15 years ago.)

The Universe has indicated in more ways than I can keep track, that I'm exactly where I need to be. Doing just what I should be. I'm a good therapist, a strong astrologer, and a skilled creative professional.

So. Does all of this blathering have a point, Auby? I hear you say. It does. It absolutely does.

I think, outside of the paradoxical benefits I received from my bad breakup with my Twin, the discovery of BEING a Twin Flame was the most important thing. Maybe even the only truly meaningful thing in regards to that relationship. As a Twin Flame, I have the freedom to be a Twin Flame, REGARDLESS of whether or not my Twin's on board for it. I can choose to teach my loved ones the power of unconditional love. I can choose to help people. To be generous, and genuine. To never play emotional games. Be honest. Forthright. To be willing to grow, evolve, and transform.

I can have the best relationship possible without my Twin Flame. I can do it with my husband, and my partner. We can choose to be the best people we can together.

My being a Twin Flame, with the intention to have the best relationships I can, whether they be romantic, platonic, or professional, with integrity, honesty, appreciation and compassion, is enough.

So, ladies (and gents) -- if your Twin isn't playing ball, then pick it up and go to another court. And play the best possible game you can, regardless of the skill level of the players around you.

If we all do this -- if we all approach every relationship as if it were with our Twin Flame, I guarantee you, we will be achieving what it is we came here for.

What is the powerful draw of a Twin Flame relationship anyway, if not the best one we can have? Believe it or not -- we're not limited to only experiencing it with our Twin.

That's not what we're here for. Honestly, I think we're here to learn that WE have the ability anyway. Individually.

So why not do what we're meant to? That's my thinking.

Just my $0.03, as a fellow Twin Flame.

posted November 19, 2014 11:57 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by athenegoddess:
That sucks. I don't like the idea that twin flames are no different than soul mates. It doesn't make sense to me. The love should be strong enough for them to stay together even if one is less 'evolved' than the other. That much I know.

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I don't think the point has much to do with Earth, honestly. We're STILL stuck together and heading 'thataway'. The point, at least to me, now, is reconnecting my soul-family -- which is undoubtedly comprised of my soulmates, and many sets of Twins.

It seems most important that we ARE gathering. But many are choosing soulmates over their Twins. And they're okay with that. I'm starting to see why. Like you, I couldn't fathom it. Then, one day, it didn't matter anymore. It's not as if I've lost the connexion. I'll NEVER lose that. There will be times of greater and lesser importance for each other in our lives. I understand that now. We ARE what we ARE.

But if he's not willing to be the best example of himself he can -- if he's too stuck in emotional gaming and being immature -- 'lost in the third-dimension' -- I can't take responsibility for it anymore. I've got MY life to live, and to love.

I like to believe, by being positive and authentic, over time, it can't help but flow his way. You know? That, someday, he'll stop being so filled with hatred and fear. Consumed by loss and rage.

Some day.

Some day.

posted November 19, 2014 11:58 PM            

You appear to have come a long way. You learnt that a 'twin flame' could be one who teaches you harsh lessons to foster your growth - that 'privilege' is not only reserved for soul mates, who we are told come in many guises. Knowing that he was a twin flame and learning to walk away because what he offered was not worthy of you was the hardest lesson. It truly made you realise that, whatever the circumstances, it was you that mattered most.

You have also shared this learning which will benefit many.

posted November 20, 2014 12:00 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by alegna:
Wise words indeed. I feel I met my twin too. He has taught me to be less needy, and I am happier, more at peace, and content than I have ever been in my life, WITHOUT him. I never thought it would ne possible, and I thank god that I crossed paths with him as the whole experience taught me so much. I feel free, and world is full of possibilities. Bring it on.

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Exactly, alegna. That's been my experience, too. I'd never discount the importance of Twins. I just think it's become a mass focus to the detriment of WHAT are the things we need to be doing. We seem to be shouting in a chorus 'Twin Flame or bust!' but that just isn't fair -- to anyone. We're not growing if we're stuck, and if we're not growing we're failing ourselves, our Twin, AND everyone whose heart we COULD open; whose lives we COULD touch.

posted November 20, 2014 12:37 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Astro keen:
Auby,

You appear to have come a long way. You learnt that a 'twin flame' could be one who teaches you harsh lessons to foster your growth - that 'privilege' is not only reserved for soul mates, who we are told come in many guises. Knowing that he was a twin flame and learning to walk away because what he offered was not worthy of you was the hardest lesson. It truly made you realise that, whatever the circumstances, it was you that mattered most.

You have also shared this learning which will benefit many.

Lots of us come across partners who are emotionally abusive and too immature for a relationship to some degree or the other. They come packaged with other irresistible qualities - these could be twin flame personas, amazing minds, creativity or wit. The astrology with these people can be so beguiling too, where every aspect screams that this is the one for you, persuading you to ignore your own intuitions. But ultimately the lesson to be learnt is that you deserve more, and for you to recognise and pay attention to your inner voice.

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AstroK,

I can't even begin to convey the spectrum of my feelings here: pride, joy, accomplishment, nostalgia, and a sense of greater being and purpose. Thank you for this. It would seem shedding the outermost layers of my being has yielded the worst anxiety in some time. Awakening has been among the most frightening and, expectedly, transformative, life-changing, experiences ever. Goodness, and I'm just thirty-four!

I feel the anxiety, mostly centred upon taking too close of an eye to the state of my health, stems from an unconscious grasping to 'hold onto' the physical world which the rest of me feels is simply falling away -- revealing something more vast -- and uncharted! -- underneath.

Arthur entranced by 'yellow' and holding off dozers, only to find the triviality of it all is revealed a short time later. Whether towels and Vogon poetry, or Alice falling down a rabbit-hole, my life has been so undeniably changed.

We're all so important. We all matter so much.

I met a wealthy older woman with a fifteen year old Maine Coon named Einstein, wrapped lovingly in her arms as she declined taking him in a carrier. Routine check-up. The mad genius' namesake was in good spirits. At the mention of his naming, I admitted how fitting it was. She'd never quite seen how her feline has a wonderfully mad mop until that moment. Then she let out a guffaw of pure joy. A silly, simple thing. Two strangers, both with cats who've claimed them, (as this is what I've learnt cats do) having a meaningful moment over a bit of nonsense.

That's what I think I fell most in love with, when it came to my Twin. He loved people. He was friendly and conversational and liked to ease someone's day. But it was superficial. He sought validation and to receive something in return. A flirtation. Or just a laugh (after all, he was a stand up comic.)

Now he feels like my addicted brother from whom I have to keep my distance, in spite of that deep love. Whenever I do find myself in the presence of strangers, I try and abide by the 'friend I haven't made yet' adage. I seek nothing. I saw a fellow feline appreciator -- and of a confirmed fifteen years, at that! -- who was anxious and aggravated. Needed a spot of cheering. It mattered little that she was then rude to the veterinary assistants. Kindness given that seemed undeserved doesn't (or shouldn't) make us rethink the kindness. Instead, I offered the vet assistants some of my time in the similar shape of enquiry into the day, and universal conversation. Turns out (one of them) has a very different approach to Thanksgiving dinner. Maybe it's the SAG MARS, but I love learning about how we all approach things differently. Plus, no one can be upset after sharing in anticipation of an upcoming holiday.

So it saddens me that he doesn't engage this anymore. He's not yet developed a centre within himself that can give freely without fear. I do hope he will some day.

We're lucky to be here. And I'll keep trying, at a safe distance. I just feel my efforts are best expended by something as simple as bringing as much quiet joy that I can to as many as I can.

posted November 20, 2014 01:04 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Astro keen:
Exactly!

Wonder if there is an astrological indicator for this kind of learning, possible involving Chiron. Maybe that would be too telling, so to speak, with potential to derail the conspiracy .

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Cosmic conspiracy of the highest order.

Well, to be honest, Hypatia and Lee both pointed out my quirky 'CHIRON at the DSC' pattern. Indeed, with my Twin, it's 7H and 5° from the DSC -- on ALGOL. If I recall, VERTEX/CHIRON=DSC.

Now if that doesn't say it all right there!

Meanwhile, with my Guardian, CHIRON is exactly conjunct the DSC, with VERTEX 1°. Again, except it's DSC/VERTEX=CHIRON. Isn't that interesting?

Fated healing = relationship, or fated relationship = healing.

As of right now, the latter is proving the better move.

Not to mention, it's 23° Aries, which is a VERY intense karmic degree for us. It's WHAT we're trying to heal, on the grand scale.

Instead, my Twin's NNODE is 2° from cCHIRON, and my PREY right on the cDSC.

Without the fated healing part, it's just a bad experience for me. Until he latches into the healing part of things (cCHIRON conjunct nNNODE, 2°), looks like I can only be 'preyed upon' by the relationship (nPREY conjunct cDSC, 0°)

On the other hand, my Guardian's nMOON is 1° our cDSC, along with his nBML conjunct my nPRIAPUS (his 5H, my 8H) my sCHIRON, 1° (sidereal), and his sTISIPHONE/HADES (23° Aries) -- which is the crux of our outstanding karma.

Even astrologically, I can see HOW and WHY we're both healing. Heck, my husband's pMARS is now 22° Aries, too! AND my Guardian's nMARS is 22° Libra, 1° conjunct the cASC from the 12H.

posted November 20, 2014 03:03 AM            

That matches your TF's aspect with you doesn't it?

posted November 20, 2014 03:24 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Astro keen:
Yes, I thought it would be Chiron on Dsc. I know how that feels as I have it too. His Chiron (retrograde) is on my Dsc by 1 degree. For me that means fated relationship = healing.

That matches your TF's aspect with you doesn't it?

We had a discussion on the involvement of Prey, of which we have many aspects, namely Prey/Valentine, Prey/Destinn and Prey/Juno dws in the tropical and Prey/Venus dw in the draconic. Too complicated. This is probably part of the conspiracy!

---

For me, it's all composite. Synastrically, we have an exact MOON/MC conjunction, and my Guardian's CHIRON is in my 7H, but it's not on the DSC.

In our composite, however, yes, we have an exact CHIRON-DSC conjunction, with VERTEX 1º conjunct from the 7H. That says it all to me, really. Fated relationship brings healing.

My Twin, on the other hand -- VERTEX/CHIRON=DSC. Fated healing brings relationship. I never much thought of our cCHIRON being 5º from the cDSC, with the VERTEX being 4º from the DSC in the 6H, but now it makes total sense. Our relationship needs to be one of service and healing. Until it is ... well, I'm afraid my nPREY gets the brunt of it.

His nAMOR is 25º Taurus, too. It's sad, really; an exact nAMOR to cCHIRON. The one thing it's all missing is unconditional love. But WHAT a thing to be missing!

I've been thinking more about PREY, and the more 'troublesome' asteroids. They are indeed involved when there's something important to resolve. The more I think on it, I feel that when it's in strong and close aspect to the 'offending' sky-rock if you will -- such as PREY -- it should have a healing effect. iQ agrees that VALENTINE and AMOR are the most healing asteroids out there. CHIRON, as you know, is largely dependent upon positioning -- whether it's healing or pain -- or both. It can certainly operate in phases; pain, then healing, for example.

To have VALENTINE involved, along with other asteroids depicting fate (DESTINN) and relating (JUNO) as well as a VENUS connection, seems to me that the real healing from VALENTINE would restore respect and equality (JUNO) as well as affection (VENUS), binding you with a sense of fate and destiny (DESTINN).

posted November 20, 2014 06:52 AM            

Meeting your TF and not being with him?? How pathetic!

Higher your standards, bishes!

posted November 20, 2014 07:03 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Astro keen:
Leeloo,

I was spared that particular challenge. Mine was just a particularly annoying SM who came with enticing astrology . And yes, the end result was higher standards, which may be the saving of all.

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I missed your refined sentences, Astro Keen.

posted November 20, 2014 08:15 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
Ladies, you make me sad

Meeting your TF and not being with him?? How pathetic!

Higher your standards, bishes!

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posted November 20, 2014 08:21 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by alegna:
@Leeloo Sometimes you meet a twinflame and it just cannot be, however much you might want it to, Circumstances just won't allow it. But what you DO get is a connection that always stays with you no matter what, a lot of growth as it changes you so profoundly, for the better, and somehow, even if the experience caused you pain, it has a way of showing you the right direction yu should br going in, Your life has nrw purpose and meaning so its not so bad , after all

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If he doesn't feel the same, he's not your Twinflame.

posted November 20, 2014 08:46 AM            

I just want to say that after having got over the heartache stage of my TF experience, I am amazed at how much I have, and am still changing.

I always still feel connected to him, can feel him, and I never feel alone, even though we have little contact now, apart from occasional emails.

Once the connection has been made, it remains and can not be broken, even if the relationship doesn't work out in the traditional sense.
My attitudes to ALL my relationships have changed. Many of my closest friendships, were really past the sell-by date and I was clinging on to people whom I had really outgrown, out of a misplaced sense of loyalty.

After meeting my twin, I could not go on as before with these relationships, which were serving only the people involved, and having mostly, a negative effect on me.

I cut the cords and let them go, in love and light, and feel much more free and uncluttered than I have in years.

I actually don't feel the need for a relationship at the moment. I am happy on my own and am fulfilled . If I become involved in relationships in the future, it will be with those who are on the same page, and supportive of who I am now, and the person I am becoming.
If I never find love again, Who cares? I love myself and I love my life, I have Saturn in the twelfth, so am comfortable with solitude. And that's all that matters.

posted November 20, 2014 09:59 AM            

And all this applies whether you are a twin or not; its practical common sense healthy good advice but WELL SAID.