posted December 02, 2014 06:10 PM            

So, my question is: when one person has Venus square Pluto and the other person has Mars square Pluto in their natal chart, is there usually a specific kind of dynamic to the relationship?

The reason I'm asking is because of something I can't quite explain rationally. I'm actually not sure if I even believe in astrology, but I keep an open mind and have been intrigued enough to read up on these things a bit (Just beginner stuff, obviously, which is why I'm asking here in the first place!) I find it all very interesting.

The background info follows, if it's at all useful (and it can obviously skipped, as it's merely an explanation to my original question):

Though I had some tame submissive fantasies when I was younger, I've never in my life considered myself a masochist, nor fantasized about somebody hurting me. Never. In fact, I find nothing more off-putting than the idea of sadistic men, and believe me, it's not a love-hate relationship I have with such male sexuality - I don't find it beguilingly creepy, I simply find it plain old off-putting. Or at least I used to, until I came across a certain man who I'm attracted to. He's polite, quiet, a bit aloof, and seems extremely controlled somehow; he's no overbearing bully, and I don't know how I'm getting a dominating/sadistic vibe from him. Especially from his eyes, which I can't even look at properly without feeling disturbed. But something in him has awakened a latent masochist in me, and I'm really struggling to explain this. I think a better description would actually be that something in him has violently dragged the latent masochist out of me. That's what it feels like.

At first I tried to have ordinary daydreams and fantasies about this person, but for some inexplicable reason a sort of sadomasochistic dynamic was soon introduced into my fantasies. As in, all of a sudden the fantasy man would start choking me and I'd find myself loving it, though I'd never fantasized about anything of the sort before. It's like the man had a will of his own in my fantasies, crazy as that may sound! It felt natural. And eventually the fantasies would progress to rather extreme things; the kind of things that I'd normally find seriously off-putting and even terrifying. The strange thing is that none of this scares or disturbs me at all, and these fantasies - about this particular man - are actually the most intense, exciting and physically satisfying (if you can say that about mere fantasies) I've ever had. Frighteningly, I feel like if I somehow ended up in those circumstances in real life, I would trust this man with my life… and enjoy it. Normally when I'm attracted to someone, I feel an intense happiness and a deep, joyful, romantic connection, but I have none of that with this man. I don't even know him properly, but he gives me a strong urge to subjugate my body and soul to him, and to be honest I feel almost ashamed about that.

Now, I'm not asking for any advice etc. regarding this situation. I'm also not trying to speculate whether he's attracted to me in the same way. It all feels a bit extreme from my point of view, and the rational me knows that a real-life relationship with a dynamic like this wouldn't be worth pursuing. But I'd be curious to know what on earth has even put these thoughts in my head?! And that's why I decided to look into astrology.

After reading some astrological bits and bobs, the only thing that made me wonder is that my Venus squares Pluto and his Mars squares Pluto. From what I've read, these aspects seem to have a lot to do with sadomasochism. Could I simply be sensing these hidden things on some subconscious level? But in terms of synastry, it's the other way round - his Venus squares my Mars. Nothing between my Venus and his Mars. Pluto conjunct Pluto, but that's pretty ordinary, isn't it, as we're about the same age? My Moon does square his Mars, which I understand is somewhat powerful in itself. Oh, and his Saturn opposes my Moon. I don't know if that has anything to do with anything.

posted December 02, 2014 06:37 PM            

Short answer: possibly. Long answer: no.

Is there any way you can upload the synastry for us? I'm guessing, if you're newly delurking, then you know how to do so.

Do me a favour, though, (as this is specifically my area); include the BLACK MOON LILITH ('Lilith' in the drop-down menu on Astro.com) and PRIAPUS (which is entered into the extended asteroids box as 'h22'). Your situation sounds to me like your PRIAPUS is being hit. Namely, because I can relate to this feeling; something unnerving, beneath the surface, intensely sexual, and completely novel in that regard. It's as if the level of intensity is rather unbearable.

posted December 02, 2014 07:06 PM            

(Would be most grateful if somebody could upload the image here in this thread! I seem to be unable to.)

posted December 02, 2014 07:19 PM            

Could you use astro.com for the synastry? Also, you can't add certain asteroids except on astro.com, and we're specifically looking at a few factors.

As to uploading, that's a hosting issue. At present, I can't even upload to my own site, as we increased the security, and now it's a hassle.

posted December 02, 2014 07:28 PM            

First go here:
http://www.astro.com/cgi/genchart.cgi

It should allow you to begin creating charts. Astrodienst will host up to 100 free of charge, too.

2. Scroll down to where you see 'Additional Objects' and a drop-down menu. Select LILITH, VERTEX, CHIRON, and NESSUS. (You'll see the last one mid-way down.)

3. Scroll to the bottom of the page and you'll see a long, empty data field. It's prefaced by the following:

'For asteroids use their official catalogue numbers, for fixed stars their names, and for other objects their list numbers according to the link given below, e.g. "433,227,Sirius,Regulus,h21,h22,h48".)'

The long empty field below it is where you'll add in:

h22,875,4386,433,16,157,6157

(Feel free to copy the above and paste it directly into it.)

4. Check the boxes 'always use True Node' and 'show descending Node'.

posted December 02, 2014 07:47 PM            

Right. So here it is, at last: http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=2me79n8&s=8#.VH5c7Evo_do

It's missing a tiny slice from the top, as I had to cut out my hometown! Also, for some reason astro.com insisted on giving me a whole bunch of other 'additional objects' besides the one you named, but I hope the image is clear.

posted December 04, 2014 03:30 AM            

Well, I've been looking at that synastry chart and scratching my head a bit, not having any experience in these things… I've especially been looking for those Priapus connections as you said. All I can see is that my Priapus squares his Black Moon Lilith and opposes his Moon. Might that have anything to do with anything?

Also, I've read some of the threads here about Nessus and Dejanira, and I see that his Nessus opposes his Psyche exactly and squares his Dejanira, and his Mars squares his Dejanira as well. Could this at least partly explain why I get that 'sadistic' vibe from him?

His Nessus squares my Eros and nearly opposes my Sun and Lust. His Dejanira opposes my Moon exactly, and his Pluto squares my Dejanira.

On top of that, my own Nessus opposes his Eros. My Nessus also squares my Pluto.