posted December 11, 2014 02:17 PM            

I have been seeing a woman for 8 months. I've been in love with her for 3. I am having a very difficult time keeping myself from ending the relationship. I am still madly in love with her, but her fickleness is driving me insane. I blame this on her Gemini Moon meeting my 8th house moon in Leo. I want all or none, yet I find us somewhere in between and I'm at my wits end.

I don't have any experience dealing with a gemini moon and I am looking for advice. What I'd really like to hear is that everything looks great between us and that if I am patient her Gemini moon will settle down or I'll get used to it with time. Here are the strengths and weaknesses of our charts as I see them:

Strengths:

1. My sun in her 7th house.
   
2. My sun opposite her Venus.
   
3. Conjunct AC/IC axis
   
4. North nodes in opposition
   
5. My sun/moon midpoint exactly conjunct her venus (not shown)
   
6. Her sun/moon midpoint conjunct my mars (not shown)
   
7. Her Juno in 8th House (my moon) Aries (my sun)
   
8. My moon trine her Juno
   
9. Her pluto trine my venus
   
10. Her Gemini moon compatible with my Aries sun, Leo moon, and Sag rising.
    
11. I like the Aries Sun, Scorpio Sun dynamic
    
12. Venus and mars are in air signs for both of us.
    

1. Gemini is the ruler of my 7th house
   
2. My ruler of 7th house, Mercury, is in Gemini
   
3. My mars conjunct DC in gemini
   
4. Saturn in 7th house gemini
   
5. My south node in Gemini
   

1. My sun opposite her Venus
   
2. My 8th house Moon
   
3. No earth in my chart, in fact my chart's a mess all around
   
4. Her moon opposite her sun
   
5. My leo moon square her scorpio sun
   

Not sure what to make of my saturn quincunx her sun.

I have not explored the composite chart so any input there would be especially great.

Thoughts:
Her scorpio sun seems mighty afflicted to me. Her mars/venus in Libra seem to make her very idealistic about love and relationships. Her Gemini moon makes her fickle. Her mars and venus are trine her moon so these aspects seem to reinforce themselves and the scorpio sun seems overwhelmed. She claims that she has never been in love.

My charts a mess. I feel my 8th house moon, and my sun opposite pluto strongly. There just seems to always be a lot going on and it is usually overwhelming.

Writing this out makes me feel like I'm definitely wearing some rose colored glasses here Set me straight!

posted December 11, 2014 02:56 PM            

Here's the gist of what I can tell from the synastry / composite you've posted.

You're a CHIRON-SUN on the IC. That's going to open you up to a host of insecurities by nature, which have got to be hell on your ARIES SUN. But don't forget your MARS is in GEMINI. Maybe it drives you nuts, but you've got plenty of GEM in your own personality to go around.

She's also got her MOON, just about as near her CHIRON as you do your SUN. This is a natural simpatico between you. There can be a lot of healing in this relationship. But, yes, it's going to test you both.

Your PLUTO is close enough to her VENUS in the 1H, which also conjuncts her MARS. This is a very powerful, 'soul-shaking', sexual attraction, that, for one less able to handle emotional intensity can be VERY hard to manage.

I'm going to wager you brought her into your life in order to confront some of your deepest insecurities regarding relationships, and to heal some past betrayals. Her PHOLUS blows that right open, being on your SUN, and close to your CHIRON.

But the composite tells a different story. Sure, that AQUARIUS SUN is tough for someone who's looking for commitment and deep emotion, but you've got a cMOON in CANCER. That's best deepened through learning together, sharing beliefs, philosophies, and exploring spiritual pursuits.

With cCHIRON on the DSC, yep, there's going to be a lot of growing and changing in this relationship. You'll confront demons, and sort out baggage you've been carrying around for a long time. Change is painful, but remaining stagnant is worse.

cPLUTO in the 12H is one I'm familiar with personally. There's a powerful intensity behind the facade in your relationship. Just because it's not there on the surface, don't doubt its hidden depth. You've got a powerhouse of intensity at your disposal with that cVENUS channelled. Do you create together? Compose music? Make art? Even appreciating art together, with that 2H cVENUS-NEP could dramatically change your relationship, with cEROS being part of that stellium. In short, 'art is sexy' (AND romantic, with NEP being your 5R). It's binding, too.

I'm going to say you don't actually have anything to worry about. But YOU've got to put on the big boy pants and work through some of your own insecurities. She's here to help you do that. You can shadowbox, or you can grow. cASC in SCORPIO doesn't mess around. Again, the depths are hidden, but they ARE there, just beneath the surface.

Instead, utilise the balance that can be achieved with an AQUARIUS stellium in the 3H, and remember that your joint emotions are Cancerian nature, seeking comfort, home and stability.

There's a strong friendship here that builds the basis of your relationship, with the stellium on the IC. In moments where your LEO MOON is feeling insecure, and your 8H energy is seeking to possess, remember that's NOT what this relationship is here to teach you.

Learn to let go. To accept that what should be and needs to be, will be. Trust in the Universe. Communicate. Share concerns. And, when your partner reassures you, believe it. And, when your partner is being inconsistent, be honest about how much it affects you.

Aries men, I swear, are under some of the worst internal pressure to 'be a man about it'. But with CHIRON so close to your SUN, you embody more of the wounded warrior that can be the guide and teacher to others than the one who's expected to 'walk it off'.

So don't walk it off. Be honest. Be clear. Tell her, 'you know, I really can't take it sometimes when you X, Y, and Z.' You're both adults. You've had your first Saturn Return. You know -- for the moment -- who you are.

Privately, however, understand that you've brought her to you TO be tested. TO battle some of your worst insecurities.

posted December 11, 2014 04:17 PM            

My Leo moon is usually so warm, relaxed and generous, with a total lack of insecurity. But there is a vulnerablitiy in falling in love which threatens insecurity. Any hint of insecurity my H8 energy moves to possess. In the end I'm a warm, fun, generous, kind guy UNTIL I fall in love with you, then I'm a nightmare. This does not play out very well as you may imagine. And you are right, I did bring her to me to be tested and to prevail over this dynamic! So thank you for naming that. I will be dissecting the rest of your comments in detail.

posted December 11, 2014 05:10 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Mmmmmmkay:
Wow, thank you so much Aubyanne! Those are some powerful insights and they really resonated with me. Just the feeling that someone sees my situation, if even for a moment, is so relieving and it brought tears to my eyes.

My Leo moon is usually so warm, relaxed and generous, with a total lack of insecurity. But there is a vulnerablitiy in falling in love which threatens insecurity. Any hint of insecurity my H8 energy moves to possess. In the end I'm a warm, fun, generous, kind guy UNTIL I fall in love with you, then I'm a nightmare. This does not play out very well as you may imagine. And you are right, I did bring her to me to be tested and to prevail over this dynamic! So thank you for naming that. I will be dissecting the rest of your comments in detail.

In Gemini my SNODE is 22*, DSC is 21*, her MC is 20*, NNODE is *17* and Moon is 8*.

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Glad it all resonates. I can certainly relate to the 'all is sunny on the emotional front until deep emotions are involved' characteristic. I'm in a similar situation I like to being a Companion of Doctor Who. Never knowing if he'll ever really come around again, and, I have no real say over whether he does or not.

Before him, I was the queen of detachment; the one with an utterly petrifying fear of intimacy. Fiercely independent and intellectualising as a default. It's as if he mirrors and reflects back EVERYTHING I've been doing in regards to everyone in my personal relationships since the beginning. Wow, how it's been a wake-up call. Fortunately, his emotional maturity and our ability to communicate means I've been able to address these issues. But, without question, much of it has been me learning how to handle my own insecurities, and to truly, genuinely trust him.

His flighty, aloof, but jovial nature is hellacious when it comes to building a deeper relationship. Over time, I've had to learn to trust in my own judgement of the situation, and believe what he says is true IS true. We've had some betrayal instances to sort through, but each month that passes, the more secure I feel.

Happy to report it's been a little over a year now. He'd never even had a relationship before; never in his adult life. It's been a huge adjustment -- changing our essential natures -- in order to incorporate this relationship into our lives. But it's worth it. And it's clear, outside of clearing karma, that we both need it to learn how to accept intimacy, and understand how we've been avoiding it all of our lives to some extent.

posted December 12, 2014 02:17 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aubyanne:
Glad it all resonates. I can certainly relate to the 'all is sunny on the emotional front until deep emotions are involved' characteristic. I'm in a similar situation I like to being a Companion of Doctor Who. Never knowing if he'll ever really come around again, and, I have no real say over whether he does or not.

Before him, I was the queen of detachment; the one with an utterly petrifying fear of intimacy. Fiercely independent and intellectualising as a default. It's as if he mirrors and reflects back EVERYTHING I've been doing in regards to everyone in my personal relationships since the beginning. Wow, how it's been a wake-up call. Fortunately, his emotional maturity and our ability to communicate means I've been able to address these issues. But, without question, much of it has been me learning how to handle my own insecurities, and to truly, genuinely trust him.

His flighty, aloof, but jovial nature is hellacious when it comes to building a deeper relationship. Over time, I've had to learn to trust in my own judgement of the situation, and believe what he says is true IS true. We've had some betrayal instances to sort through, but each month that passes, the more secure I feel.

Happy to report it's been a little over a year now. He'd never even had a relationship before; never in his adult life. It's been a huge adjustment -- changing our essential natures -- in order to incorporate this relationship into our lives. But it's worth it. And it's clear, outside of clearing karma, that we both need it to learn how to accept intimacy, and understand how we've been avoiding it all of our lives to some extent.

Also, the ASC/DSC=NNODE/SNODE is such a powerful link. You've got it 1º. That's wonderful for a transformative relationship.

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My difficulty is that GEMINI seems to make a lot of contradictory statements. It’s not a stable contradiction like, “I want this relationship, but I need my freedom too”, it’s more “I want this relationship, I don’t want this relationship”. Not sure what to do with that, believing what she says does not resolve anything.

**What follows is way more than anyone would be interested in, but I’m posting as catharsis.**

In my situation we have both been in long term relationships before, although she claims she has never been in love and I believe her.

Looking at her chart and knowing her it seems that at the beginning of a relationship her LIBRA (Mars/Venus) is in charge. It leads her into relationships and chooses very well mannered, pretty, polite, good on paper types.

If there is enough variety and stimulation then her GEMINI (Moon) supports the choice. The trine between LIBRA and GEMINI is strong enough to stifle her SCORPIO (Sun)…for a while. So at this point there is no real depth to the relationship, only her Air is on board.

But eventually and out of the blue her SCORPIO rejects the pleasantries of LIBRA, and the shallowness of GEMINI, finds nothing it can sink it’s teeth into/fall in love with, and blows it all up. She has done this repeatedly.

Anywhoo, my H8 moon feels her SCORPIO being stifled while her LIBRA keeps everything pleasant on the surface, and doesn’t like it. My ARIES (Sun) (exact opposite her LIBRA Venus) feels like her LIBRA words are lies covering up the truth that lies with SCORPIO. I feel like I am engaged in some sort of effort to liberate SCORPIO from the tyranny of LIBRA/GEMINI lol. So I appear to be a troublemaker, everything would be fine if I would just shut up. But I have a lot of trouble repressing myself and ignoring what is going on. Oh my!

posted December 12, 2014 02:20 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
Nice charts! Your Suns are a bit incompatible, but luckily you have a Sun/Moon DW. Your Mars should dig her Moon. She needs a loooot of emotional/intellectual excitement/exchanges, always something new going on, lots of cultural social activities, travel, adventure etc. Your chart ruler sq her Moon opp should be able to provide for this.

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