posted December 23, 2014 04:04 AM            

Consider this a deep reflection during the lunation, as well as a kind of meandering update.

The New Moon on the wintre solstice is conjunct his SUN/NEPTUNE; tISIS is conjunct my nNNODE-OSIRIS, 0°. I sensed something suddenly when our Solar Returns for this year came into sharp focus. JUNO, conjunct his ISIS, and my OSIRIS. A kind of resonance and interweaving. My MC, and his IC at 29° LEO right on Regulus.

I've held back just as much, if not more, than he has. After all, his NESSUS is right on my NNODE-OSIRIS. When there's so much intensity generated between you and no idea what to do with it, you unconsciously opt for the one lacking in emotional maturity; the one which lets you run. We both did, for the better part of two years. He was uncommonly persistent in his pursuit of reestablishment and reconnexion. And he was just as sardonic and cruel in his treatment of our relationship, once reconciled.

A year ago, I prided myself on the cultivated ability to bolster myself against him, and let him go -- completely -- for good. The pain, confusion, and cruelty wasn't worth the moments of euphoria, and our destiny-drenched dynamics. I know; how arrogant and prideful do you have to be? It's one thing to be clear with someone so that they don't continue to abuse you. It's another entirely to abandon them.

I did. I abandoned him. What came most through on the SR, for each of us, was that JUNO falling on the ISIS/OSIRIS. And how I'd abandoned him. (Which, by the way, is not the way to handle someone's SNODE on your MOON. And, to be clear, that's a SNODE conjunct SATURN/KARMA; and a MOON conjunct URANUS.) But I'd found every way I could to show I was hurting; that his words cut so deep, and he had access to parts of me I previously hadn't known existed. And it's the very same experience for him which caused him to suddenly decide that he wasn't sure if he liked 'feeling married' to someone -- anyone. But especially one who knows him better than he does himself. (That's not ego; those are his words -- not mine.)

But then we knew all the little things -- as well as the big ones -- about each other, in the near-decade we've known one another. That must be why he contacted me within 48 hours of reestablishing communication with him (just through a short but purposeful text conversation) to ask a very important question. Because it's my area of expertise, and, 'I've known him the longest.'

I didn't intend to see him this past weekend, either. I was going to Sedona with my family in tow, to stay with a very dear soul-brother who I've literally known for three decades. Everything kind of conspired to land us in Phoenix, to where my husband said what I knew he would; we should all meet up. Anytime either of us are passing through, we've always made it a point to snag an hour here or there for the time-appropriate meal. This shouldn't be any exception, and I left my sensitivity -- the likes of which only he seems to ire with such ease -- for God knows why. I just let the hurt feelings go over never feeling that he'd even wanted to see me; that I was just an annoyance to which he was constantly protesting a bit much.

We planned for breakfast; playing it by ear. Despite the wonderful hotel mattress, I lay awake for what felt like an unusually long time; I hoped to convince myself that, tomorrow, I could tell him. Face-to-face. I'd have to be able to look into his eyes -- eyes which bear the same colour, shape, and features, of course. Along with a prominent jaw, slightly crooked, leftward-leaning nose. Only noticeable if you're looking for it -- or studying someone's face. And that breakfast, I was.

I'd never seen him so defeated. That blazing Sagiquarius spark dulled to a mere ember. I wouldn't let it continue -- I resolved -- to keep it from dying. He and my husband snickered recalling a particularly amusing phone conversation they'd once had -- when my husband answered, despite my reservations. Then, he revealed how I would stare at the phone, as if I didn't know what to do. And he knew I was doing that. And he'd still call. And call. And call. Until the day he finally stopped. For many reasons. But, clearly, the knowledge that I just wasn't taking his calls.

I apologised. Sure, again, but this time, directly to him, in person. And I meant it. Sometimes, I simply miss hugging him. They're never for long enough. If I'm to be honest with myself, if been longing most for it the week prior, perhaps just a few days.

Maybe we'll start writing together again after the holidays. TV pilots. It's our medium. I'm going to push him where necessary. I can sense he's testing me to see how much I'm going to. Oh, and I'm going to.

This past time, there was something different about us. We were old friends and colleagues, former partners, and failed romantic interests. We were familiar and easy. I wasn't holding back, either. I showed my caring for him, and so had he. Our actions demonstrated, almost as a second nature, the deep affection and familiarity we have for each other. We'd crossed some friendship bridge and landed somewhere closer to family; guarding each other's darkest secrets and nursing our most private dreams and ambitions.

For that wonderful two hours, we were the best friends we once had been. Life has never made it convenient or very pragmatic to be in each other's. We've done the best we can, and astound each other by how often we've beat the odds.

When the relationship ended in its initial stage, and he smashed my heart into a billion pieces, I worked to release myself from the 'obligation' of being Twin Flames. There was no faerie-tale romance in our future. It was better we relinquish that fantasy sooner as opposed to later. And so I had done, which led to the communication breakdown that lasted far longer than I'd ever meant it to.

Now I understand that's not even the point of the relationship; being traditional, or adhering to convention. Most of us are here to do something with our Twin, if we've crossed paths. But we're not all here to be married to them. As iQ reminds me, we already are.

To me, being a Twin is exactly how it sounds. I feel as if we somehow came into this existence side-by-side, and nothing can ever break that bond; neither distance, nor time. Just as we war with our siblings, so, too, are we bound to each other by some unchangeable knowledge of belonging. I can never not be a Twin Flame. The more time I spend in his presence, am I reminded of that. Nor does it mean we're required by some law to conform our relationship to earthly human standards. That's not really how it works, either.

At this point in time, and for the foreseeable future, though I've forgiven the past, I'm no fool. Our relationship doesn't yet support the sort of ability to be too brazen. We've not yet built the stability desired or required to take us through our lives, together. But I know enough now to understand the irresponsibility of jeopardising the sanctity or stability of my marriage or my relationship (with my Guardian) on the basis of naturally passionate dynamics. I've come to decide it's simply not worth it.

I'm happy, productive, and evolving in the romantic relationships in which I'm committed. While I possess a rare commitment in and of itself to a relationship with my Twin, it need not involve the more classic features of such a relationship. Not until there's the necessary emotional maturity and spiritual development -- and it wouldn't be a deficit to my marriage and my relationship with my Guardian.

But I'm dedicated to making it work with my Twin, whatever it takes. Perhaps, we find in the timeless tale of Isis and Osiris, the true roots of the Twin Flame. Much as when Osiris was destroyed into so many pieces, did Isis devote herself to relocating them and slowly reassembling her brother-husband. (Because, ancient Egypt!)

I feel a similar mission now; to reignite that spark that's dwindling further by the week. To relaunch his dreams into orbit. And, most of all, to quit running away. But I don't feel the need to anymore; only to help him return to a former glory, and excel in ways he hasn't yet.

Why? Because he's my Twin. I didn't choose him, nor did he, me. We just are. And so long as I remember that fact, I can dedicate myself to what matters most: helping him get the fight back, and bringing balance to my marriage and my relationship with my Guardian. Balance, and evolution and catharsis.

I believe I understand the ISIS/OSIRIS=JUNO, with ISIS-JUNO in mine, and JUNO-OSIRIS in his. It is a reunion of forces, and a joining together of spirit in creativity and real love. It goes beyond friendship now; it's simply love. The love of one who's somehow always going to be yours, and for whom you hold that responsibility and privilege.

And, while you're here on Earth, you do what you can do to bring more joy, success, and hope to each other's lives. And it rarely fits any particular mould. But I think that's because it's not supposed to.

posted December 23, 2014 04:26 AM            

I`ve been struggling with that, too, on and off.
It`s a real challenge though to navigate life with that bond, and yet not falling trap to your typical romance-novel-dreams, to not get fixated on either end of the spectre.

A funny thing happened on my last day of school last week (on the 19th). When I was heading towards the door, a mother and daughter came out of this, talking to each other, and they both looked at me and exclaimed: "A twin!" ROFL
I think they must have been talking about something, having to do with twins or siblings, and they were just coincidentally looking up and at me, when they came to some sort of conclusion in their talking, but nevertheless it was kinda hilarious.

(Well actually I was SUPPOSED to be a twin, as my mom tells me, but for some reason I was being born without a biological twin. There are some twin-births in my family, so that is why she thought she might have twins, too. lol)

posted December 23, 2014 04:56 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aubyanne:
I feel that I'm finally beginning to understand my relationship with my Twin Flame; why we are as we are, what purpose it serves, and how we can accomplish all that we're here to do.

Consider this a deep reflection during the lunation, as well as a kind of meandering update.

The New Moon on the wintre solstice is conjunct his SUN/NEPTUNE; tISIS is conjunct my nNNODE-OSIRIS, 0°. I sensed something suddenly when our Solar Returns for this year came into sharp focus. JUNO, conjunct his ISIS, and my OSIRIS. A kind of resonance and interweaving. My MC, and his IC at 29° LEO right on Regulus.

I've held back just as much, if not more, than he has. After all, his NESSUS is right on my NNODE-OSIRIS. When there's so much intensity generated between you and no idea what to do with it, you unconsciously opt for the one lacking in emotional maturity; the one which lets you run. We both did, for the better part of two years. He was uncommonly persistent in his pursuit of reestablishment and reconnexion. And he was just as sardonic and cruel in his treatment of our relationship, once reconciled.

A year ago, I prided myself on the cultivated ability to bolster myself against him, and let him go -- completely -- for good. The pain, confusion, and cruelty wasn't worth the moments of euphoria, and our destiny-drenched dynamics. I know; how arrogant and prideful do you have to be? It's one thing to be clear with someone so that they don't continue to abuse you. It's another entirely to abandon them.

I did. I abandoned him. What came most through on the SR, for each of us, was that JUNO falling on the ISIS/OSIRIS. And how I'd abandoned him. (Which, by the way, is not the way to handle someone's SNODE on your MOON. And, to be clear, that's a SNODE conjunct SATURN/KARMA; and a MOON conjunct URANUS.) But I'd found every way I could to show I was hurting; that his words cut so deep, and he had access to parts of me I previously hadn't known existed. And it's the very same experience for him which caused him to suddenly decide that he wasn't sure if he liked 'feeling married' to someone -- anyone. But especially one who knows him better than he does himself. (That's not ego; those are his words -- not mine.)

But then we knew all the little things -- as well as the big ones -- about each other, in the near-decade we've known one another. That must be why he contacted me within 48 hours of reestablishing communication with him (just through a short but purposeful text conversation) to ask a very important question. Because it's my area of expertise, and, 'I've known him the longest.'

I didn't intend to see him this past weekend, either. I was going to Sedona with my family in tow, to stay with a very dear soul-brother who I've literally known for three decades. Everything kind of conspired to land us in Phoenix, to where my husband said what I knew he would; we should all meet up. Anytime either of us are passing through, we've always made it a point to snag an hour here or there for the time-appropriate meal. This shouldn't be any exception, and I left my sensitivity -- the likes of which only he seems to ire with such ease -- for God knows why. I just let the hurt feelings go over never feeling that he'd even wanted to see me; that I was just an annoyance to which he was constantly protesting a bit much.

We planned for breakfast; playing it by ear. Despite the wonderful hotel mattress, I lay awake for what felt like an unusually long time; I hoped to convince myself that, tomorrow, I could tell him. Face-to-face. I'd have to be able to look into his eyes -- eyes which bear the same colour, shape, and features, of course. Along with a prominent jaw, slightly crooked, leftward-leaning nose. Only noticeable if you're looking for it -- or studying someone's face. And that breakfast, I was.

I'd never seen him so defeated. That blazing Sagiquarius spark dulled to a mere ember. I wouldn't let it continue -- I resolved -- to keep it from dying. He and my husband snickered recalling a particularly amusing phone conversation they'd once had -- when my husband answered, despite my reservations. Then, he revealed how I would stare at the phone, as if I didn't know what to do. And he knew I was doing that. And he'd still call. And call. And call. Until the day he finally stopped. For many reasons. But, clearly, the knowledge that I just wasn't taking his calls.

I apologised. Sure, again, but this time, directly to him, in person. And I meant it. Sometimes, I simply miss hugging him. They're never for long enough. If I'm to be honest with myself, if been longing most for it the week prior, perhaps just a few days.

Maybe we'll start writing together again after the holidays. TV pilots. It's our medium. I'm going to push him where necessary. I can sense he's testing me to see how much I'm going to. Oh, and I'm going to.

This past time, there was something different about us. We were old friends and colleagues, former partners, and failed romantic interests. We were familiar and easy. I wasn't holding back, either. I showed my caring for him, and so had he. Our actions demonstrated, almost as a second nature, the deep affection and familiarity we have for each other. We'd crossed some friendship bridge and landed somewhere closer to family; guarding each other's darkest secrets and nursing our most private dreams and ambitions.

For that wonderful two hours, we were the best friends we once had been. Life has never made it convenient or very pragmatic to be in each other's. We've done the best we can, and astound each other by how often we've beat the odds.

When the relationship ended in its initial stage, and he smashed my heart into a billion pieces, I worked to release myself from the 'obligation' of being Twin Flames. There was no faerie-tale romance in our future. It was better we relinquish that fantasy sooner as opposed to later. And so I had done, which led to the communication breakdown that lasted far longer than I'd ever meant it to.

Now I understand that's not even the point of the relationship; being traditional, or adhering to convention. Most of us are here to do something with our Twin, if we've crossed paths. But we're not all here to be married to them. As iQ reminds me, we already are.

To me, being a Twin is exactly how it sounds. I feel as if we somehow came into this existence side-by-side, and nothing can ever break that bond; neither distance, nor time. Just as we war with our siblings, so, too, are we bound to each other by some unchangeable knowledge of belonging. I can never not be a Twin Flame. The more time I spend in his presence, am I reminded of that. Nor does it mean we're required by some law to conform our relationship to earthly human standards. That's not really how it works, either.

At this point in time, and for the foreseeable future, though I've forgiven the past, I'm no fool. Our relationship doesn't yet support the sort of ability to be too brazen. We've not yet built the stability desired or required to take us through our lives, together. But I know enough now to understand the irresponsibility of jeopardising the sanctity or stability of my marriage or my relationship (with my Guardian) on the basis of naturally passionate dynamics. I've come to decide it's simply not worth it.

I'm happy, productive, and evolving in the romantic relationships in which I'm committed. While I possess a rare commitment in and of itself to a relationship with my Twin, it need not involve the more classic features of such a relationship. Not until there's the necessary emotional maturity and spiritual development -- and it wouldn't be a deficit to my marriage and my relationship with my Guardian.

But I'm dedicated to making it work with my Twin, whatever it takes. Perhaps, we find in the timeless tale of Isis and Osiris, the true roots of the Twin Flame. Much as when Osiris was destroyed into so many pieces, did Isis devote herself to relocating them and slowly reassembling her brother-husband. (Because, ancient Egypt!)

I feel a similar mission now; to reignite that spark that's dwindling further by the week. To relaunch his dreams into orbit. And, most of all, to quit running away. But I don't feel the need to anymore; only to help him return to a former glory, and excel in ways he hasn't yet.

Why? Because he's my Twin. I didn't choose him, nor did he, me. We just are. And so long as I remember that fact, I can dedicate myself to what matters most: helping him get the fight back, and bringing balance to my marriage and my relationship with my Guardian. Balance, and evolution and catharsis.

I believe I understand the ISIS/OSIRIS=JUNO, with ISIS-JUNO in mine, and JUNO-OSIRIS in his. It is a reunion of forces, and a joining together of spirit in creativity and real love. It goes beyond friendship now; it's simply love. The love of one who's somehow always going to be yours, and for whom you hold that responsibility and privilege.

And, while you're here on Earth, you do what you can do to bring more joy, success, and hope to each other's lives. And it rarely fits any particular mould. But I think that's because it's not supposed to.

These are just my thoughts. Thanks for paying any mind to my ramblings. We'll see what the future brings, when it does.

---

I'm glad that you and your Twin have been able to reconnect and reestablish a friendship, even though the romantic part of it ended in disappointment. That's actually quite a hard thing for people to do.

Or at least, it'd be hard for me. I'd think along the lines of 'What's the point'? And I'd give up altogether. To fight for a bond that may or may not be takes excruciating resolve, and you showed that resolve with your Twin.

I'm more than happy to read your 'ramblings'(but really, it's just your Soul expressing itself). Mostly because you brought up some hard things for me to face objectively but also because I feel bad that for example, Asteroid Astrology is still something entirely new for me and hence, when they cloud the chart my reading becomes awful lol.

But I think the Asteroids themselves are incredibly profound, that they tell a message that the planets themselves fail to tell.

As an example, in that relationship I told you about, her Nessus exactly conjunct my Karma(which is oppposed to Saturn-Mars) showed the deep and profound Karma in that situation.

Which is why I signed up here, to speak with Astrologers who have expertise in a not-so-much talked about theme.

I've since played with a few more asteroids(on my Natal Chart) and I found a lot of uncanny conjunctions which are really weird.

posted December 23, 2014 06:11 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by LightandDarkWings:

Since you're a Mod, I wanna ask: Do I post my Natal with Asteroids, and where? On the Natal part of the forum, or the Asteroid Part of the forum?

---

posted December 23, 2014 03:17 PM            

I'm glad I was able to help regarding that synastry. Karma is a complex thing to unravel. I wouldn't say NESSUS-KARMA is 'deep and profound' as much as I'd say there's a karmic history of abuse, selfishness, and ruthlessness being brought to the fore. Bear in mind, too, that it's her NESSUS involved here, and unlikely to be expressing itself positively in such a low character individual. Sure, I'm open to reform -- but I'm also a pragmatist in many ways. NESSUS to your KARMA is likely exactly how it looks: helping you to clear karma regarding relentless obsession and abuse, with no care or regard for the other person.

NESSUS can be a wonderful influence in an evolved individual. Otherwise, it's ... as you'd expect. They want what they want without concern for consequences, and are willing to do whatever to obtain it. Some find it thrilling to be so desired by a criminal type; they forget how suddenly the wind can shift.

KARMA here shows how she's either acting as a surrogate to help you with yours, or you're settling a debt between you regarding obsession, abuse, ruthlessness, manipulative scheming, and, very likely, it's fatal consequences.

When I think of deep and profound karma, I'm more inclined to figure involvement with MOON, PLUTO, DESTINN, SATURN, UNION, AMOR, or VALENTINE.

posted December 24, 2014 04:13 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aubyanne:
I feel that I'm finally beginning to understand my relationship with my Twin Flame; why we are as we are, what purpose it serves, and how we can accomplish all that we're here to do.

Consider this a deep reflection during the lunation, as well as a kind of meandering update.

The New Moon on the wintre solstice is conjunct his SUN/NEPTUNE; tISIS is conjunct my nNNODE-OSIRIS, 0°. I sensed something suddenly when our Solar Returns for this year came into sharp focus. JUNO, conjunct his ISIS, and my OSIRIS. A kind of resonance and interweaving. My MC, and his IC at 29° LEO right on Regulus.

I've held back just as much, if not more, than he has. After all, his NESSUS is right on my NNODE-OSIRIS. When there's so much intensity generated between you and no idea what to do with it, you unconsciously opt for the one lacking in emotional maturity; the one which lets you run. We both did, for the better part of two years. He was uncommonly persistent in his pursuit of reestablishment and reconnexion. And he was just as sardonic and cruel in his treatment of our relationship, once reconciled.

A year ago, I prided myself on the cultivated ability to bolster myself against him, and let him go -- completely -- for good. The pain, confusion, and cruelty wasn't worth the moments of euphoria, and our destiny-drenched dynamics. I know; how arrogant and prideful do you have to be? It's one thing to be clear with someone so that they don't continue to abuse you. It's another entirely to abandon them.

I did. I abandoned him. What came most through on the SR, for each of us, was that JUNO falling on the ISIS/OSIRIS. And how I'd abandoned him. (Which, by the way, is not the way to handle someone's SNODE on your MOON. And, to be clear, that's a SNODE conjunct SATURN/KARMA; and a MOON conjunct URANUS.) But I'd found every way I could to show I was hurting; that his words cut so deep, and he had access to parts of me I previously hadn't known existed. And it's the very same experience for him which caused him to suddenly decide that he wasn't sure if he liked 'feeling married' to someone -- anyone. But especially one who knows him better than he does himself. (That's not ego; those are his words -- not mine.)

But then we knew all the little things -- as well as the big ones -- about each other, in the near-decade we've known one another. That must be why he contacted me within 48 hours of reestablishing communication with him (just through a short but purposeful text conversation) to ask a very important question. Because it's my area of expertise, and, 'I've known him the longest.'

I didn't intend to see him this past weekend, either. I was going to Sedona with my family in tow, to stay with a very dear soul-brother who I've literally known for three decades. Everything kind of conspired to land us in Phoenix, to where my husband said what I knew he would; we should all meet up. Anytime either of us are passing through, we've always made it a point to snag an hour here or there for the time-appropriate meal. This shouldn't be any exception, and I left my sensitivity -- the likes of which only he seems to ire with such ease -- for God knows why. I just let the hurt feelings go over never feeling that he'd even wanted to see me; that I was just an annoyance to which he was constantly protesting a bit much.

We planned for breakfast; playing it by ear. Despite the wonderful hotel mattress, I lay awake for what felt like an unusually long time; I hoped to convince myself that, tomorrow, I could tell him. Face-to-face. I'd have to be able to look into his eyes -- eyes which bear the same colour, shape, and features, of course. Along with a prominent jaw, slightly crooked, leftward-leaning nose. Only noticeable if you're looking for it -- or studying someone's face. And that breakfast, I was.

I'd never seen him so defeated. That blazing Sagiquarius spark dulled to a mere ember. I wouldn't let it continue -- I resolved -- to keep it from dying. He and my husband snickered recalling a particularly amusing phone conversation they'd once had -- when my husband answered, despite my reservations. Then, he revealed how I would stare at the phone, as if I didn't know what to do. And he knew I was doing that. And he'd still call. And call. And call. Until the day he finally stopped. For many reasons. But, clearly, the knowledge that I just wasn't taking his calls.

I apologised. Sure, again, but this time, directly to him, in person. And I meant it. Sometimes, I simply miss hugging him. They're never for long enough. If I'm to be honest with myself, if been longing most for it the week prior, perhaps just a few days.

Maybe we'll start writing together again after the holidays. TV pilots. It's our medium. I'm going to push him where necessary. I can sense he's testing me to see how much I'm going to. Oh, and I'm going to.

This past time, there was something different about us. We were old friends and colleagues, former partners, and failed romantic interests. We were familiar and easy. I wasn't holding back, either. I showed my caring for him, and so had he. Our actions demonstrated, almost as a second nature, the deep affection and familiarity we have for each other. We'd crossed some friendship bridge and landed somewhere closer to family; guarding each other's darkest secrets and nursing our most private dreams and ambitions.

For that wonderful two hours, we were the best friends we once had been. Life has never made it convenient or very pragmatic to be in each other's. We've done the best we can, and astound each other by how often we've beat the odds.

When the relationship ended in its initial stage, and he smashed my heart into a billion pieces, I worked to release myself from the 'obligation' of being Twin Flames. There was no faerie-tale romance in our future. It was better we relinquish that fantasy sooner as opposed to later. And so I had done, which led to the communication breakdown that lasted far longer than I'd ever meant it to.

Now I understand that's not even the point of the relationship; being traditional, or adhering to convention. Most of us are here to do something with our Twin, if we've crossed paths. But we're not all here to be married to them. As iQ reminds me, we already are.

To me, being a Twin is exactly how it sounds. I feel as if we somehow came into this existence side-by-side, and nothing can ever break that bond; neither distance, nor time. Just as we war with our siblings, so, too, are we bound to each other by some unchangeable knowledge of belonging. I can never not be a Twin Flame. The more time I spend in his presence, am I reminded of that. Nor does it mean we're required by some law to conform our relationship to earthly human standards. That's not really how it works, either.

At this point in time, and for the foreseeable future, though I've forgiven the past, I'm no fool. Our relationship doesn't yet support the sort of ability to be too brazen. We've not yet built the stability desired or required to take us through our lives, together. But I know enough now to understand the irresponsibility of jeopardising the sanctity or stability of my marriage or my relationship (with my Guardian) on the basis of naturally passionate dynamics. I've come to decide it's simply not worth it.

I'm happy, productive, and evolving in the romantic relationships in which I'm committed. While I possess a rare commitment in and of itself to a relationship with my Twin, it need not involve the more classic features of such a relationship. Not until there's the necessary emotional maturity and spiritual development -- and it wouldn't be a deficit to my marriage and my relationship with my Guardian.

But I'm dedicated to making it work with my Twin, whatever it takes. Perhaps, we find in the timeless tale of Isis and Osiris, the true roots of the Twin Flame. Much as when Osiris was destroyed into so many pieces, did Isis devote herself to relocating them and slowly reassembling her brother-husband. (Because, ancient Egypt!)

I feel a similar mission now; to reignite that spark that's dwindling further by the week. To relaunch his dreams into orbit. And, most of all, to quit running away. But I don't feel the need to anymore; only to help him return to a former glory, and excel in ways he hasn't yet.

Why? Because he's my Twin. I didn't choose him, nor did he, me. We just are. And so long as I remember that fact, I can dedicate myself to what matters most: helping him get the fight back, and bringing balance to my marriage and my relationship with my Guardian. Balance, and evolution and catharsis.

I believe I understand the ISIS/OSIRIS=JUNO, with ISIS-JUNO in mine, and JUNO-OSIRIS in his. It is a reunion of forces, and a joining together of spirit in creativity and real love. It goes beyond friendship now; it's simply love. The love of one who's somehow always going to be yours, and for whom you hold that responsibility and privilege.

And, while you're here on Earth, you do what you can do to bring more joy, success, and hope to each other's lives. And it rarely fits any particular mould. But I think that's because it's not supposed to.

These are just my thoughts. Thanks for paying any mind to my ramblings. We'll see what the future brings, when it does.

---

posted December 25, 2014 11:51 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lavender CrystalSwan:
"Now I understand that's not even the point of the relationship; being traditional, or adhering to convention. Most of us are here to do something with our Twin, if we've crossed paths. But we're not all here to be married to them. As iQ reminds me, we already are."

I'm happy to hear that you have made peace with it and accepted it
There is nothing more liberating than that.

---

Right, Lavender? Fantasy can trick us into thinking they must be our best choice of romantic partner -- but experience and pragmatism can prove that's NOT the case. That another could be an even better suited partner to is -- and us to them as well.

posted December 26, 2014 12:52 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aubyanne:
Right, Lavender? Fantasy can trick us into thinking they must be our best choice of romantic partner -- but experience and pragmatism can prove that's NOT the case. That another could be an even better suited partner to is -- and us to them as well.

Happy Christmas!

---

Exactly!
It was painful for me to accept. But now I'm happy very with Cancer boy.
Just because they may be our TF it doesn't mean a traditional relationship is in store. In fact that's exactly what they're NOT here for.

posted December 26, 2014 05:47 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aubyanne:
LightandDarkWings,

I'm glad I was able to help regarding that synastry. Karma is a complex thing to unravel. I wouldn't say NESSUS-KARMA is 'deep and profound' as much as I'd say there's a karmic history of abuse, selfishness, and ruthlessness being brought to the fore. Bear in mind, too, that it's her NESSUS involved here, and unlikely to be expressing itself positively in such a low character individual. Sure, I'm open to reform -- but I'm also a pragmatist in many ways. NESSUS to your KARMA is likely exactly how it looks: helping you to clear karma regarding relentless obsession and abuse, with no care or regard for the other person.

NESSUS can be a wonderful influence in an evolved individual. Otherwise, it's ... as you'd expect. They want what they want without concern for consequences, and are willing to do whatever to obtain it. Some find it thrilling to be so desired by a criminal type; they forget how suddenly the wind can shift.

KARMA here shows how she's either acting as a surrogate to help you with yours, or you're settling a debt between you regarding obsession, abuse, ruthlessness, manipulative scheming, and, very likely, it's fatal consequences.

When I think of deep and profound karma, I'm more inclined to figure involvement with MOON, PLUTO, DESTINN, SATURN, UNION, AMOR, or VALENTINE.

But NESSUS conjunct KARMA -- exactly -- is the strongest link between you, depending upon the minutes of conjunction. That's going to be like a neon sign between you.

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I just noticed by adding Union to that composite, but that person's Union touches my IC, which itself is conjunct my Natal Nessus(Nessus itself isn't really prominent in my chart, it only has one aspect, OPP. MH)

Oh and if you're interested, here's my Natal Chart: http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum28/HTML/003361.html

I don't want to ruin your thread with my problems, but you asked me what I wanted to do. Well, the truth is, I admittedly do want to move on.

The astrological factors are bad enough, but the on-off thing isn't how I envisioned my one, true relationship to be. I figured, even in that situation if we could stick it out, it might work.

Clearly, it's just not sticking. And sticking is the one thing that's important to me. I won't deceive, I won't lie and I won't hurt. I won't even ask for anything. Just be there, is my one main thing.

I'm just torn on how I actually do this, I'm the one who made that "leap" and contacted her in the first place. And I'm the one who equally said that I wouldn't blame her for anything.

So, when she finally is able to regain access to her e-mail system, how do I go "Sorry, but I've had second thoughts about this", especially after everything she's been through?

I was thinking of approaching it very softly, making some light hearted mails a long the way or something but does that really help? And since that sexual attraction is there, what if she lures me in all over again?